banded and depressed

[michelle1820 0]

I'm a 41 year old mother of two banded almost 3 years ago. I had originally lost 47 pounds and have gained 15 back. It's no surprise seeing as I only eat chips, dip and ice cream. Before everyone starts yelling at me, it's because those are the only things I can get down. I know it's ridiculous to eat these things and I've been doing it for close to 2 years now. I absolutely hate this band in me and feel like a prisoner. The only thing that I find positive is thinking what my weight would be if I hadn't gotten this thing. I easily would have been over 300 pounds. So if you take that into consideration, I've lost 75 pounds! Hehehe. Just kidding. I feel like an alien. I feel like I'm the only person in the world with this thing in me. My eating habits are horrible. I'm depressed. Even taking my depression medication makes me stick and so I just don't take it anymore. It's ridiculous. I throw up constantly if I eat anything other than dip or ice cream. Maybe I need to go back and have a counseling appointment with NWWLS. Any suggestions? I feel trapped.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

you need to have some of your fill removed. This is not how the band is supposed to work.

I can eat anything I want in small portions. I eat small meals and I don't throw up. You need to call your doctor and let him/her know what is going on.

[ReeRee 0]

You sound just like me when I go off my anti-depressants. Go to your doc and share what you just told us. You need to get back on your meds! Your kids deserve to have their functional, happy mom. You deserve to feel better. Please call today, OK?

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I will just say again that if you are constantly throwing up, you need to have a slight unfill. You are too tight and that is what is causing your problems.

[Sugarbear 2]

Michelle, sounds like you are definitely too tight. The weight gain may make you even tighter. Have you not checked with your doctor in two years? I have heard of several instances like yours. Tight is good. Too tight is NOT. You can't eat properly when you are too tight, as you know. Small portions, SMALL bites with an annoying amount of chewing, should allow you to eat fairly well. I didn't lose weight for about 3 months...got two unfils, just a smidgeon at a time, and immediately dropped 5 pounds. Like you, I got hungary but ate band friendly foods, or did the Pbing. Don't risk a possible erosion from being too tight. See your doctor as soon as possible. Good Luck

[michelle1820 0]

Thank you all. Sounds like I need to get back on meds and get an unfill. Time to make some appointments. I may see how much a counseling session is with the counselor at Northwest Weight Loss Surgery. I just don't think I was ready for the commitment. Thought just having this thing inside me would be enough. I've lived as a loner (in the band world) for over 2 years now. Not reaching out to anyone. Just trying it my way. Feeling like a slave to the band. I'm ashamed of my eating habits and try not to eat in front of anyone other than my husband. Well anyway, thanks for all the advice.

Michelle

[Melolo 0]

PLEASE GO BACK TO DOCTOR!!! HURRY!:biggrin:I'm not trying to be funny:tongue_smilie: But you are most definitly not alone when it comes to having the Lap Band let me tell you... I've just had my Lap inserted the 4th day of this month and even though I've only lost 12lbs so far (I've gained back 3lbs) I'm so glad I made this decision. You want to know why? Because for the last two years was stuck at 334 pounds and to see that scale move down instead of up gave me much joy. I don't know what you're going through...maybe it's a funk or something but whatever the case. You need to see the doctor so that you can get help in getting back on track and getting a more positive attitude towards life and the tool (Lap Band) that can help you achieve your weightloss goal. I hope this encourages you and not upset you. But if it does... I don't care if it means getting you to go and see your doctor...so be it. Step away from the ice cream, chips and dip and make that appt. now! I Wish You Health And Happiness. Peace

[michelle1820 0]

Not upset with your response at all. I know there is something wrong with me and I'm sure it's mostly depression. I just feel like everyone is so successful with the Lap Band and that I've failed at it. I'm probably not emotionally ready to have this thing in me and I should have realized that before getting it instead of viewing it as a quick fix. And now I'm stuck with it. It's probably a good thing that I have it or else I would indeed be towards the 300 pound mark by now. For that, I'm grateful for the Lap Band. I just wish I could be more successful at it. But I also need to take responsibility for my food choices and sometimes I just feel like I don't care. I guess I'm too lazy. Just thought this would be the cure all and almost 3 years later, I realize it was probably a waste of my money (self pay). But at least it's there for when I am ready to take emotional responsibility and use the thing properly. In the meantime, I'm sure the way things are going with my food choices is slowly killing me. This is so unhealthy to be this way.

[Marissa's Mom 1]

Michelle,

When my band was too tight the only thing I could get down was buttered popcorn. I was lucky and did not let it go too long, I had the fill on Thursday and the un-fill on Monday. I was completely miserable. It is easy to get discourage when you see huge weight losses and feel like you are going nowhere. Make an appointment with your doctor or fill center and you wil get back on track.

Good luck,

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Michele1820....sounds to me like in addition to an unfill, some depression meds, and a therapy session or two, you need SUPPORT!

Come here more often! AND does your WLS have support groups? GO! You aren't alone. You aren't the only person who likes chips and Cookies more than baked fish. I will RACE you for the chips and cookes! LOL If you thought the band would take care of everything you weren't properly educated prior and shame on your surgeon and his staff for that. But it can be a great tool to help keep you away from that 300 pound mark (you don't want to go there) and get you leaner and healthier. You're not alone. Think of the band as a stomach pacemaker, not an alien intruder. It can be your best friend. You just need to learn to use it. Hang in there!

[Sugarbear 2]

Hi Michele. You have already made a huge step in realizing your problem. That is the first step. I too am a slow loser. Also didn't realize how serious my relationship with food was. I am over a year out and I am having to really work on it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just set a mini goal for yourself, conquer it and move to the next one. If you have a bad week, pull yourself up and start over. We can't go back, but we CAN go forward. You are not a failure, you just slipped back a little. Talk with your support staff at your doctors office. Surely they have someone to talk to. Go to support group meeting and sit on the front row. Everyone here has had bad times. It is harder for some of us than others. If you have depression problems get some help, I think you know deep down it will ease the burden of your weight loss journey. Get your band straigh and I think things will be easier. So Monday a.m. call and get an appt. to ease that thing where you can use it as the tool it was meant to be. Let me know how things go next week. We are all rootin for you.

[Lanakila 1]

I just don't think I was ready for the commitment. Thought just having this thing inside me would be enough. I've lived as a loner (in the band world) for over 2 years now. Not reaching out to anyone. Just trying it my way. Feeling like a slave to the band. I'm ashamed of my eating habits and try not to eat in front of anyone other than my husband. Well anyway, thanks for all the advice.

Michelle, you are not alone! Do not suffer in silence a moment longer. The people here on the boards are almost all super supportive and we all want each other to succeed. See your doctor about your band, get back on your meds, and life will turn around for you in just a few weeks. Hang in there honey...we're here for you! :smile:

[ShrinkyDink 0]

Giant hugs, we're here for you!

[vegasgirl44 0]

You sound just like me when I go off my anti-depressants. Go to your doc and share what you just told us. You need to get back on your meds! Your kids deserve to have their functional, happy mom. You deserve to feel better. Please call today, OK?

ReeRee,

Make that me, number three. Since I had surgery, I've not taken my Zoloft and just yesterday, I've noticed a change in my mood. I think I'm either too lazy to crush them and/or don't know what food to put them in to take them. I know that I would feel like a million bucks (ok, a hundred...I still have that freakin' side pain) if I just started back on it again. Yesterday, my BF pissed me off and not I'm ignoring him and feeling sorry for myself, etc...The problems are still there, but if I was taking my meds, I wouldn't even give a rat's ass.

I suggest getting back on the meds and calling your doc to let him know what's going on. He wants you to be successful as much as you want to be. Good luck. And thanks for reminding me to get crackin' on my Zoloft.

[michelle1820 0]

Just getting back from the weekend, been housesitting for my parents who are out of town so am just getting to read all the replies. Thank you SO much guys. As soon as we can afford it, I will get the unfill and make the appointment with the doctor. What I can do in the meantime is take my medication. Also I tried a support group only once where they all met at a restaurant and every single one of them was incredibly successful and since I wasn't successful whatsoever and only eating chips and dip (literally for the last 2 years now) I felt just horrible and even worse when I left the support group and never went back. Not anyone else's fault of course but it just reminded me how unsuccessful I was being with the lap-band and so I didn't want to go back. Thank you so much for all your help guys. It means the world. I love the pacemaker instead of alien invader comment. Since I don't know anyone else personally with a lap-band I truly do feel alone; but not so much any more.

Thanks!:smile: