Will I fail at this too?

[wvgal33 0]

Hello all,

I will be finishing up my last 6-month appointment tomorrow with my PMD. I have not lost ANY weight. I haven't really tried either :cursing: Each month on a MONDAY I say - okay...i'm going to watch what I eat today...and I do...on that MONDAY and then off I go on my own way eating whatever I want. I have gained 2 pounds in this six months. I attribute this to quitting smoking, although I only quit for a week. I am re-starting chantix MONDAY.

I have met with my surgeon and have decided on Realize Band...but now am wondering if I shouldn't go with a gastric bypass because of my "diet history." I have used diet pills and have lost 25 to 30 pounds in the past only to stop taking the pills and put it back on plus more. I have started a diet almost every Monday of my life....only to cheat on Tuesday and swear that next Monday is the MONDAY. I am too easy on myself and Celebrate everything from a snowy day, rainy day, Sunday because I am dieting on Monday - I celebrate by cooking, baking and eating.

My "relatives by marriage" is that term camouflaged enough so as they don't know I am talking about 'them'? Anyway, they keep reminding me that "you will still feel hungry, you will still need to exercise, you will still need to work really hard for weightloss. I know this. I mean it...in my head I know this...but in the back of my mind, I am still thinking that I will find a way to fail the lap band..or eat myself right out of it. They despise the fact that my insurance covers this and it is becoming a reality and one day....God Bless that day....I may be thinner than they are. They are probably 45 pounds lighter than I am.

Another thing that brought me to think about gastric bypass is the book Before and After WLS....she has had such success. She lost 79 pounds at 4 months post-op! I want that. The other side of my brain is thinking about slower weight loss being a benefit rather than a downfall. I have also read so many posts regarding the Realize band and a lot of people are having a lot less weight loss than they thought - which makes me wonder if I should go with the Lap band instead. I have read and read and read....about the two bands...and I seriously don't know what to do. It is crunch time...and I am not sure about what to do.

I am just thankful that my insurance covers these surgeries and hope that they decide to cover me even though I didn't lose any weight these past six months.

By the way, incase you are wondering - yes, I did pass my psyche eval! LOL

Any advice?

[HeatherO 7]

Any of these options can help you to make goals, but not one of them does the work on its own without your assistance. Even if you lose some weight initially, if you don't make any attempt to change your eating habits, you can regain the weight.

You mention in the post above that you didn't really try to lose weight . . . and this is the last stage before you take the ultimate step and seek a surgical solution. Are you really ready to make the plunge?

The first thing you might want to consider is analyzing why you did not make an attempt to lose the weight. Is it because you don't have faith in yourself? Is it because you are scared of the surgery and might be sabotaging yourself? Is it because you did not consider this stage of pre-op dieting important? Is it because you feel that you wont be able to eat again in the same way post-op so you want to take advantage of your final days beforehand?

Answering these questions to yourself fully and truthfully can help you decide if you are really ready to make a go of this and be successful.

I think it would be helpful at this stage to seek some counseling (with someone specializing in weight related issues) and begin working on personal reflection on what this change really will entail for you.

If you want success, you have to be ready to put in the effort as well. It really isn't an easy road . . . of course everyone says that and it has become a cliche . . . but for those of us who have lived it, we know that it is very true. For almost every one of us, the changes to our anatomy are the smallest part of ourselves that have changed, most of the change happens in our head.

Success can definitely be yours, you just have to be ready to grab it.

[MeltingChocolat 0]

Do not be discouraged. I do not know if this will help but… I stop saying next Monday and I try to start fresh the next meal. That way you are not but a meal away from being health. Forgive yourself and start being health the next time you take a bit. Same with your exercise10 minute, that is ok.

[g00dbyefat 0]

I know what you mean, it's a stressful decision. I mean you WANT to succeed, no one WANTS to fail, but it's a big decision on what option to pick. I felt the same way, and was banded this last Monday 8/25.

I have always tried to lose weight, lost 40lbs at the most, then it came back on. I have hypothyroid and PCOS (insulin resistant disease) and my endocrinologist told me weight loss surgery was my best option if I wanted to see past 65. So I made up my mind that day to get banded. I had done a lot of research on the bypass vs lapband. I hear they have the mini gastric sleeve as well. Here's what I focused on, maybe it will help you decide.

I chose the lap band because it's reversible, and if I get pregnant it can be losened up so I can get enuf nutrients for both of us. No dumping syndrome like bypass. Yes you lose weight less quickly, but I said I wanted to lose 100lbs in a year as my goal and NO ONE batted an eye at that. Dr's/ nurses/ nutritionists all told me it was VERY DOABLE!

I know w/ gastric you lose MASSIVE weight, and fast but can stretch the pouch and gain it back afterward too. You have dumping syndrome, longer recovery time since they're cutting and rearranging your insides. You can find a way to SABOTAGE any of these diet helpers, don't set yourself up for failure.

I had a hard time on the pre-op diet. I was on Atkins and my dr said to lose the most weight keeping farily low carb is the way to do it. I can have carbs but just a couple spoonfulls here and there, and need to pick the good carbs. At least I can have them at some point.

I know it will be hard to focus on healthier foods and I'll have to make sure to work out....but it's worth it for the healthier ME! You have to be willing to give up something to get what you want! For me....it was pretty much do or die, so that made the choice very simple! EVERYONE...I MEAN EVERYONE (friends/family...anyone who knows me well) is AMAZED and knows how determined I am because I HATE going to DR's. I had to have a cardiac cath surgery for insurance approval, then this surgery. But it's all done, all for the best and I'm on my way!

Keep your head up, make the right choice for you!

good luck! :cursing:

G00dy

[Hollie519 1]

Bottom line! It works if you work it, it sucks if you don't. If you are not ready to try to lose weight, than don't even have the surgery. No offense but it sounds like you need to get off the pity pot. Stop feeling so bad for yourself. There are people who have it way worse than you.

Be grateful for what you have and start telling yourself, this isn't that bad.

THERE IS NOT MAGIC TO SNAP YOUR FINGERS AND THE WEIGHT COMES OFF. IF YOU DON'T WORK HARD, YOU WON'T SEE RESULTS. ISN'T THAT HOW EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS?

Mind over matter. Good luck

[srknepler 0]

I agree with HeatherO. Honestly answering those questions is the first step.

Reading some of the FAQs here might help, too. There is some great info there.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

People with gastric bypass lose a lot but they can (and some do) also gain it all back if they don't watch what they eat. (think of Carnie Wilson. Even Al Roker started regaining. And my surgeon has quite a few RNY patients who years post op come in for the band) Their pouches stretch out and so you end up overweight again any way (and often with GI or other issues)

Bottom line is, to lose you have to change the way you eat.

I suggest some therapy to get your head around why you overeat and how you can stop it. Then come back to surgery and pick what option fits your lifestyle and mind set. But regardless of which you choose, you have to work at it for it to work. Period.

[It's_Christine 0]

I have a Realize band and have lost 60lbs in 3months so I may reach your "goal" of 79lbs lost in 4 months. Either band or GBP it's work and dedication as these are just tools. Take your time and if your surgeon's office has a counselor or psychologist talk to them. I had a good idea of what was right for me but after talking to the psychologist I was certain. Good luck.

[wvgal33 0]

I am glad I decided to post my feelings here. I knew that seeing my feelings wrote down along with everyone's input would make me put it all (or start to) in perspective.

I am in the processing of asking myself why I didn't really try to lose weight in the six months...and if I answer that honestly...brutally honestly..shamefully, head down face red honsetly...I would have to say:

1. I know my PMD personally and he is pretty easy going and we laugh about me being on a diet - he knows my family and their history - my mother and sister suffer from anorexia. I don't even have a percentage of that trait passed onto me and we joke about it - so I don't feel ashamed when I see him and haven't lost weight.

2. I am thinking that "it will allllll beeee alllright....I will have the band...THEN START. Please don't knock me.....I am being honest and open. I realize what is wrong with this statement....I do.

3. Ever since I started this Surgery Journey I have ate out way more often than usual - I may be thinking in the back of my head somewhere - I may never eat here again? I dunno...either that or I am getting lazier than normal.

4. I started working at home from my home office 5 years ago - this has made me gain weight like crazy...

I think I am ready to change - I have researched, ordered samples of Protein powders to see which kind I can tolerate the taste of, printed lots of recipes, and have made a grocery list of what I need in the house after surgery. My surgeon requires only two days of liquids pre-surgery - I think this will make or break me...I shall see how serious I am on two days of liquids.< /p>

I think either the Realize band or Lap band is right for me considering I desperately want a second child. I just worry that I will be someone posting later saying...my band is filled to max...and I am still hungry! That is my fear - I just realized that. See how seeing your words in fine print helps you get to the bottom of things!

I hope these "cold feet" issues are normal - I mean if we all could suceed losing to goal and keeping it off we wouldn't be having the surgery right?

--Way to go It's Christine! Sounds like you have had great sucess! You give me hope!

Anyway, thanks for listening and keep the advice coming...maybe you can help me talk some sense into me. It will probably be six weeks until my insurance approves me from what I hear (if I get approved - scared cuz of not losing weight) - I think that tomorrow..not Monday I will start trying to shed some pounds - not crash dieting...just cutting portions and Snacks. "Melting Chocolat" your words do help....Instead of throwing the rest of the day away or WEEK, I need to start with the next meal. That is sound advice.

---Hollie519 I am not offended by your comment - I probably need someone to tell me to shape up every once in a while - but if you had to listen to my "relatives by marriage" day in and day out at 200+ pounds and giving you advice...you will tell me to scoot over on my pity pot LMAO...seriously! I do whine about them...can't help it! But I do appreciate your feedback and realize that others have it way worse than me. I am grateful that my insurance even covers this and dissapointed in myself for not making the most out of the six months. I just wish I would have felt bad before the six months were over!

[mom22 0]

I think I've found my "twin"!!! Everything you wrote is my story - I, too, have just completed the 6-month pre-surgical program and am waiting for insurance approval. I have not lost an ounce; have not changed my habits at all; question myself everyday whether the band will work for me; questions whether bypass surgery would be the better option; start my diet "tomorrow" - but here it is 6 months later; have my very caring relatives tell me I can still gain weight - it's all up to me - have to work really hard, etc. I've been reading alot about the "gastric sleeve" where they remove part of your stomach, but do not "re-route" anything else - maybe this is the "mini-bypass"?? Sounds really perfect for me - but my insurance doesn't yet cover - still considered experimental. So I'm back with the band.

I read the responses to your first message and they are all right on! I need to really look at why I'm not stepping up - I really think it's that I've spent so many years trying and failing; that I'm scared I won't succeed even a day or a week! So it's easier to not even try. Thank you for the post that basically said "get over it and just do it." You're right - my fear is that later today or tomorrow, I'll be back in the same old thinking game. UGH! Hope you're having success and have reached some inner peace with the surgery - any tips and success stories would be very much appreciated - as well as any "tough love" words - Have a great day!! Kay

[HeatherO 7]

wvgal33,

It sounds like you have given it a lot of thought . . . and that is an important step.

As far as choosing between banding or R&Y, what are your eating habits like in general? Do you eat three meals primarily and just have a tendency to overeat, do you graze throughout the day, do you eat minimally through the day and find that after dinner is the time for eating overload, etc. Do you tend to eat sweet things? What makes up your diet in general on the best days and worst days?

As far as choosing options, I have the Realize band and am very happy with my choice. I think you will find both successes and failures with either band. I asked two different doctors for advice on choosing between the two, and they could never give me a definitive answer that one was truly better than the other.

Has anyone found any good statistics comparing the two, side-by-side?

[flowers 0]

With other forms of WLS, you could stretch out the pouch and then regain all the weight back. I know lots of folks who got by pass and are still way too heavy. Some put on all the weight and more and some I dont know where they started, only that they are obviously still way too heavy (heavier than me) and they had by pass.

If you are going to sabotage the surgery, maybe you should wait until you are ready to work at it. I assure you its work to lose. By pass is not assured to lose the weight and keep it off.

[flowers 0]

I think either the Realize band or Lap band is right for me considering I desperately want a second child. I just worry that I will be someone posting later saying...my band is filled to max...and I am still hungry! That is my fear - I just realized that. See how seeing your words in fine print helps you get to the bottom of things!

I think once you get filled to your sweet spot, the hunger pains will die down, but the question is, will you stop eating. To me thats harder than it sounds. I have a little hiccup and feel full, but I want to eat more. I think I like the stuffed feeling even. As the saying goes, ice cream slides right down, the band wouldnt stop that.

I have the Realize band, and still have fears than if I hit another bumpy part in life I will go back to comfort eating. I think the band will help me some, but Im not sure its going to help me all I need either to be honest. I dont like Protein Shakes either lol.

Im not trying to discourage you, but I think you are going to have to work at it, especially "head hunger" as folks call it here, where you still want to eat because your head wants to eat, not because you are hungry, thats harder to deal with than anything.

[losing it in ne 0]

You said something that startled me. If you mom & sis are aneorexic, are you afraid you will be also. You said you don't have the traits but how do you figure. An eating disorder whether you stuff or strave all come from the same place, emotional issuses frquently with self esteem. I would strongly suggest you seriouly consider a couselor before you take this major step. Either surgery is not a quick fix, Just a helpful tool. You need to take a look inside you and work out some of those issues. Being thin won't change those things.

[wvgal33 0]

I went to my PMD today and lost 3.5 pounds this month. I spoke with him about my concerns and we had a long chat. During my wait for insurance approval, I am going to attend some WLS support groups in person and I also scheduled a second appointment with the nutritionist to discuss some things.

As far as my mother and sister being anorexic - I am not afraid of ever going there. You are right though, an eating disorder is either stuffing or starving...I guess I have a tendency to stuff:blushing::tt2:

I haven't had weight problems all of my life, just the past 8 years. I know some things that have triggered my weight gain, i.e., fertility med's, grief, and changing careers from being busy to sitting at a computer all day. I agree that I do need to talk with someone about emotional eating and I plan to.

I, by no means, think that the band will "make me skinny." I know I will have to do the work and the band is just a tool - I really do know this. I am just wondering if I will be hungry just like if I were to be on another diet. I worry that I will be one of the posters that will be starving and have my band filled to the max. How does everyone else deal with head hunger. Is there anyone out there that has problems with emotional eating and the band helped them?