Don't want to over step my boundaries...

[Hollie519 1]

The way I was introduced to lap band, was through my grandma. I was hesitant at first but after meeting the surgeon and sitting in the seminar, I was sold. Now my problem is, not only was i sold, I applied for the damn job and i got it. I feel like a sales person. I love the lap band so much and am so pleased with the results, I think I might be preaching! Yesterday, I talked with 3 different woman about having them having the surgery and my experience.

My surgery was done through a teen study. I knew they had spots left and knew a girl who'd be perfect for it. We used to play softball together and this girl is amazing. So, I knew she had the effort to put forward. I wasn't personal enough with her to have her phone number. By fate, I ran into her at the grocery store. I was so excited. I didn't want to bombard her with it, so I let her talk first. The surgery came up because she noticed a difference in me. Than i said, "I had it through a study and they have spots left if you are interested. It's free."

She was horrified. I mean I can't even describe the look on her face. And i knew right than, it was the same experience i had had when my mom told me I wasn't the kind of girl guys look at. i know she didn't mean it that way but I was devistated. I could only imagine how this girl felt having someone who wasn't even her friend, tell her that she was overweight.

I have now backed down and do not bring my surgery up first. Am I wrong for trying to spread the love? I mean, I wouldn't have had this surgery had no one told me.

Help! I want to help but don't know how without being offensive. Girls my age react way different than woman over 25 when the topic is brought up. Tips please!

[Daisalana 33]

Well, if they aren't your friend, it's a 50/50 whether or not suggesting someone get WLS is going to be offensive. I know if someone I didn't know that well suggested I needed WLS I would probably be horrified to. That's something I think is best for someone to come to realize on their own.

If they're a friend, you'd know what they think about their weight anyway (who doesn't bring up-- "Oh I'm so fat" "I wish I could stick with a diet" etc).. but since that didn't come up with this person...

Don't be afraid to openly preach about the band -- I do!! Let them know how great it is for you. Shout it from the roof tops if you want!

Get the info out there..

BUT.. I wouldn't directly ever tell someone (except family) "You should look into it". If they ask about it, offer the info.

[Hollie519 1]

See the thing is, I wasn't like not friends with the girl. I mean we were softball buddies for a couple years but i don't hang out with her now. I really thought it was fate that brought us to the store together because i had been thinking about her a lot. I just wish some people could be saved from all the bull shit i had to go through. I know its like quiting drugs. you have to do it for you. I guess i just care way too much for other people.

Thanks for the advice.

[Brandy~ 2]

Telling anyone and everyone that will listen about your success is a must.. I can't hold it in... well other than to coworkers who have no idea.

Regardless of meaning well I think I would leave it at "I had it through a study and they have spots left, it was free" and not insinuate that you think they need a WLS. Some people are very easily offended.

But I could tell you were just trying to be helpful.. some people just takes things all wrong.

[lessme 0]

Hey Hollie, I love your enthusiasm and aliveness. You have such a childlike curiosity about life that is so endearing. I was wondering how much fill you have in your band and what size is your band. I think you have done great with your weight loss and I also think it is great that the medical establishment is doing a study on wls for younger girls to save them the health problems and heartaches of obesity. Did the study monitor your progress every step of the way? Please tell us about your fill history. Did the kids at school resent your transformation or were they glad for you? I think about telling other people it is probably best to wait and see if they say "You look wonderful, How did you do it, I would love to lose weight." Then you tell them.

[Crishell 0]

I have made no secret of how I have been losing weight. At first I was hesitant because I didn't know what other's would think about the surgery. But alot of my family,friends and co-workers (even those I'm not that close to) have been supportive. They ask questions. I would rather enlighten them about my experience and for them to have the truth than some misconceptions. Alot of those that ask questions would qualify for the band or have family/friends that would. So i kinda consider myself a living testimony and billboard. I saw an old arch enemy (no other way to explain it) a few weeks ago. She saw how good I looked and now, even she is interested in getting the band (I heard that through someone else as she and I don't talk). I wish her the best. Although we have bad blood between us, I would not want to wish bad on her or anyone and their weight loss attempts. I would suggest backing off of the girl. You are at a different level at accepting your situation with your weight and wanting to do something about it. People differ in that regards. If she becomes interested, she will seek you out. Seems you have atleast been successful at introducing her to the idea and she may actually be thinking about it more than you know.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Hollie - I can see you feel you are in a tough spot. I remember when I started putting on weight. I was about 18/19 years old. My friends commented on it and my family preached to me about it. It made me feel inadequate, their "help". Sometimes it takes hearing it from someone other than a friend or relative for it to sink in. No I wouldn't have been happy - no one wants to hear they are fat. I feel if I would have had someone talk to me about my weight other than those closest to me I may not have had the reaction I did - which was to eat more and say to hell with them. When I say talk, I mean objectively and without prejudice. I really do wish I would have had a wake-up call earlier in life. I would have enjoyed more of the last 10 years of my life. I'm stubborn - when someone tells me to push, I pull.

[Hollie519 1]

Hey Hollie, I love your enthusiasm and aliveness. You have such a childlike curiosity about life that is so endearing. I was wondering how much fill you have in your band and what size is your band. I think you have done great with your weight loss and I also think it is great that the medical establishment is doing a study on wls for younger girls to save them the health problems and heartaches of obesity. Did the study monitor your progress every step of the way? Please tell us about your fill history. Did the kids at school resent your transformation or were they glad for you? I think about telling other people it is probably best to wait and see if they say "You look wonderful, How did you do it, I would love to lose weight." Then you tell them.

You know, I have no clue what size my band is. I belive it is filled 4.0 to 4.5 i think a little less than 4.5. All I know is my hole is a little bit smaller than the size of a quarter. During my last fill, I had to have x-rays and I saw the liquid go down. pretty cool. I do have a childlike curiosity, because I am a child. haha I just turned 18 in May.

My study is a 5 year long study. i went through extensive screaning and have been to my doctors office more times than I even went to school. I went for check ups every 2 months and can go in for a fill anytime i need one. I have 1 appoinment left for my year check up and than I believe I have to go every six months after that.

When i started my liquid diet pre-op, I left school and started an at home program. i was still able to go to prom and walk with my graduating class. I have to say people were SHOCKED! I mean and i was seeing them between 30-60 pounds lost. so throughout that time period. I have had nothing but positive feedback. Honestly, I thought people would make up rumors about me because i was pretty popular for a fat person (and that does matter in high school!). i did have one girl say, why is she even having the surgery? She's just going to sit on the couch and eat cupcakes all day anyway. But I'm sure you can imagine that bitches face when she saw me. :] I make an effort to go see the people who were mean to me. The satisfaction of looking better than them now is FANTASTIC because not only do i know i look better, i know I am a better person too.

If you have anymore questions let me know. I hope I covered it all. :]

thanks for the compliments :]

[Hollie519 1]

Hollie - I can see you feel you are in a tough spot. I remember when I started putting on weight. I was about 18/19 years old. My friends commented on it and my family preached to me about it. It made me feel inadequate, their "help". Sometimes it takes hearing it from someone other than a friend or relative for it to sink in. No I wouldn't have been happy - no one wants to hear they are fat. I feel if I would have had someone talk to me about my weight other than those closest to me I may not have had the reaction I did - which was to eat more and say to hell with them. When I say talk, I mean objectively and without prejudice. I really do wish I would have had a wake-up call earlier in life. I would have enjoyed more of the last 10 years of my life. I'm stubborn - when someone tells me to push, I pull.

I hear you Leslie! I am the exact same way. I recall being about 9 or 10 and I was eating an ice cream and some old lady said oh you are just a regular old butterball aren't you. I have never ever told anyone that to this day. When i went home, I stuffed my face beacause she said that to me. i was like I'll show her. But, i think i kind of have a way with words when it comes with talking to people about sensitive subjects. I wasn't trying to tell the girl she was fat. i was trying to tell her, look I found a way to be happy and i'm like you. I know people are sensitive about their weight but if you are fat, you are fat. No reason to deny it. i have a cousin thats like that. Dresses like a skinny girl and its horrifying to look at. You'd think with all the mean people in the world, these people would know they were different. i've known I was fat since i was 6 years old. i used to pray to god every night to help me not each junk food and to work out. So, I know what fat feels like.

But thats just me

[lessme 0]

Hi Hollie, I did read another one of your posts, but I forgot if you said you counted calories or carbs or Protein. How many calories did they say you could consume in a day? Do you work out? Hey how are things going with your boyfriend? You forgot to update us on that.

[Hollie519 1]

I count calories. The more I work out, the more calories I'm allowed. the less I work out, the less amount of calories I allow myself. But trust me, I am not starving.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

If anyone but my surgeon told me I should consider any type of diet or weight loss surgery, I'd be pretty ticked off. And I'm 53 AND I'm fairly tough skinned.

It's similar to how I felt back when I smoked. I smoked because I wanted to. I didn't want people I knew or those I didn't to tell me how I could quit. Well, duh!

It's safer to not say anything unless they say "how did you do it AND can I do it that way too"

It's not age so much as it is different people.

Furthermore, just because I may be glad you have a new baby doesn't mean I want one too! LOL (if you get my drift)