Much harder the second time around...

[Sades 4]

Hi all my wonderful Nymph friends. I am struggling at the moment, just can't seem to get motivated. Even though I have managed to keep my weight off (I haven't weighed myself since last Saturday), I just can't seem to get back into it. I've been sick with a cold for the last 4 days so have spent most of the time inside, so no exercise. I feel that I spent the first 8 months trying to stay motivated even though I had no band or restriction and now that I have a new band, I feel burnt out and don't have the emotional strength to do it. I know I need a fill which I will be getting on 3 September but it's gone beyond restriction. HELP!!

[bandpal 7]

Dear Sades,

First, forgive yourself. Let yourself get better. Treat yourself as you would your best friend (I know this is not always easy). Being sick and getting motivated are strange bedfellows.

Of course you feel burnt out and without emotional strength - look at what you've been through! Speaking for myself, if I can't accept and love myself for feeling the way I do, ain't no way I'm moving past those feelings.

You can't "get back into it" because there is no "it" to get back into. You are in a new and different place - after a second operation, with a new band. The last eight months don't matter any more than you choose to let them. Write youself a blank check when you're ready to. September 3rd is just around the corner. I can already hear your future laughter about these tough couple of days.

Please excuse my directness and take it as a sign of my affection for you.

[lindata 1]

Will it make you feel better to know I feel the same way? Since my unfill I've gained ten, and now they moved my new fill date - supposed to be tomorrow, now in another two weeks. I've got to do something fast if I don't want to gain another ten. bwah!

[lindata 1]

Boy, I sure turned this right around to ME, didn't I? Sorry, Sades. I know what helps me is to start exercising and everything else seems to fall into place - I don't want to eat bad and I feel better. Let's both give it a big effort to do that.

[Sades 4]

Thanks for your responses Bandpal and Linda, I think I wrote this in a moment of weakness. It is a problem but being sick just added a dark cloud over it. I would never take offence Bandpal, we need to be here for each other and that's what you always are with your words of wisdom.

Linda it is about you and about me and about anyone who is going through a hard time. We do need to take action and as soon as I'm back on my feet, I will get serious about exercising again. Let's touch base more often about what we are doing to keep this thing going.

[mariegabrieleee 0]

Thanks for your responses Bandpal and Linda, I think I wrote this in a moment of weakness. It is a problem but being sick just added a dark cloud over it. I would never take offence Bandpal, we need to be here for each other and that's what you always are with your words of wisdom.

Linda it is about you and about me and about anyone who is going through a hard time. We do need to take action and as soon as I'm back on my feet, I will get serious about exercising again. Let's touch base more often about what we are doing to keep this thing going.

Sades and Linda,

I know how you feel I haven't been eating right for about 2 months, and I exercise sporadically. I try anew everyday and fall back. I have been the same weight 233 to 236 lbs for almost 12 weeks. Sades you are right it about more then restriction; it’s because I have some restriction that I haven gain more weight. It’s about getting you mind to stop turning to food when times are hard, or your sad. It’s about breaking old habits, but they are so hard to break. I can’t seem to end this love hate relationship I have with food. One thing I know we do so much better with support and help; I might not come on the board all the time but I know without it I would be worst of. So let help each other keep up the good fight.

[Sades 4]

That's for sure Marie, we have to continue to support each other and I'm happy to do that. I think it is easy to stop posting and think you are the only one struggling. Let's try and touch base at least once or twice a week to ensure that we all stay on track. Good luck till we next speak.

[lindata 1]

Well, I have a few reasons why I'm being like this.

1. I'm going to go visit my family in a month and they were all raving about how great I looked last time I was there. Well, I've since gained 5 since being there last and I guess the pressure is on. When the pressure is on, I get eating. I thought I'd be ten pounds less than the last time I was there and instead I've gained.

2. My fill is not at the right level and honestly I don't see any point in dieting right now because I've dieted for 10 years and it has never done one bit of good. The only thing that has been working for me is my band, and so without the fill I just plain don't feel like trying. There, that's the honest truth. I know it's anathema to say something like that, that I don't feel like trying unless my fill is at the right level, but it's really, truly how I feel. At the right fill, I lose; if it's not at the right level, I don't, plain and simple.

Having ranted and raved a bit I feel better!

The one thing I will do until I get the right fill is WATCH what I eat and do some form of exercise every day. I'm not going to knock myself out though because there is really no point. Like I said, I've knocked myself out for ten years and it only got me fatter.

I'm going to come here and visit y'all because without you I'm sure I'd gain a pound a day, no doubt about it!

[Sades 4]

I have to agree Linda that personal issues do get in the way of sticking to the plan. I have always been able to lose weight but eventually I end up putting it all back on before I get to goal because I go back to emotional eating. It's such a cycle. I know the band will help combat some of that because it is impossible to pig out on a full pizza etc. For me it's about losing more rather than just maintaining which is all that is happening for me right now. I don't always make the right choices especially when I am not feeling very motivated and under stress. Anyway, that's why they have support boards so we can come and vent and talk about our trials and tribulations. I'm on the way again.

[lindata 1]

Well, I never make the right choices when I'm stressed!

It is nice to come here and let fly. It's probably like how when "they" tell you to write down your emotions, write what you're feeling when you're eating to get to the reason of the WHY. Except this is funner - you get feedback!

[Sades 4]

You're so right Linda and sometimes not such nice feedback (not talking about this thread). :biggrin:) I think sometimes we go through an emotion and write about it before we realise it is a temporary feeling and not how we are feeling 90% of the time.

[cindyg1212 0]

Sades, you're doing great! It's normal to get burned out and want to take a break from obsessing about this band and losing weight. I've only heard of a few who are disciplined enough to lose their weight consistently but that's not the norm. We will all get there in time. I'm sure you'll find your focus again.

[cindyg1212 0]

Linda, that's terrible that your doc postponed your fill for 2 weeks. Any way you could convince him to let you come sooner?

[Sades 4]

Thanks Cindy. You're right, more people struggle to get all their weight off. I've noticed they lose 3/4 and then find it hard getting the last 1/4 off. I am happy that I've lost more than half of what I wanted to lose but I keep thinking that if I'd had the band working the way it should have in the first place then I would be almost at goal by now, given the amount of exercise I was doing in that 8 months. I know I can't control what happened with my band and should get over it but I guess I just wanted to express how I was feeling and why I was finding it hard.

[lindata 1]

Cindy, it was the nurse that had actually called. I have a feeling that if I asked the doctor he would have said to come in earlier when I had wanted to. I'll make sure to double check it with him next time. I have no restriction and I've gained back about 15 pounds. In another week and a half I'm sure it will be up to 20. But then again once I get restriction, it will come off.

Sades, you are right, about expressing feelings, getting it all out, and it's not really how we are feeling most of the time. I really don't feel hopeless most of the time either. I know this weight will come off again. I just wish it hadn't happened right when I'm supposed to go visit family that have seen me lighter. urgh.