female only 26 and facing a hysterectomy..please help

[bandster_1007 1]

ok, so for any of you that have followed me at all know that i miscarried this year and had some severe complications.

well, i thought it was all better. i've been back at work for 2 months now, and then yesterday i end up in the ER and i have yet another uterine infection.

what the hell? so, i have to go see my ob/gyn tomorrow and this is the same one that already thinks i need to have a hysterectomy.

i'm not going to debate it on here, because i know it is a very personal thing. for me, i have so many problems now, with no periods, cystic ovaries, endometriosis, severe pms, and now severe lower back pain from a heavy uterus and infection with occasional black blood but no period.

so here is my question:

for those of you who have had it done (removing even your ovaries) do you regret it? how much time did you have to take off work? and the biggest thing..how did it affect your sex life?

i'm married and sex is very painful now and it obviously affects my drive. also because my hormones are so out of wack, i am used to using a lubricant.

i'm scared. i'm too young for this, but it appears that i am only putting off the inevitable. i can't wait to hear from some of you. and thank you in advance.

btw..i went to my regular family doctor yesterday and he would not treat me..told me i had to go to er, because i was showing signs of being "septic". chills, fever, pain, etc. er doctor agreed. i got iv antibiotics and ioral antibiotics. also, the pain was horrible. 2 shots of demerol didn't do anything to me at all. they finally gave me stadol to help. they were very caring and helpful, i was afraid they were going to think i was not really hurting, because i wasn't crying or anything, but i was just honest with them, and they were fantastic (i have only been to the er in my adult life over this female crap and it has all been since my miscarriage).

[losingjusme 12]

i have not been through this but i wish you all the best.

[kiz 1]

I know this must be hard to face at such a young age, but I did want to let you know I had a hysterectomy a few years ago (ovaries still intact), and it was by far the best thing I could have done. I've had no bad side affects. If you have any questions, please fill free to send me a pm.

[Ang1982 4]

I have not been through this but I just wanted to post and send you my thoughts and hugs.

[JamieNP 20]

I was 40 years old with severe endometriosis, multiple large ovarian cysts, history of ovarian tumor, painful heavy periods, and a history of miscarriages when I had my total abdominal hysterectomy. I can say that I have never felt better. The endometriosis was growing on my kidneys and causing infections.

You are so young that you and your doctor should look into all of the alternatives before making that decision. But I was your age when I started having problems.

I took off for 6 weeks and I am on an estrogen patch (vivelle dot). Like I said, I have never felt better in my life (although I am fatter).

Good luck!

[Chrisann 0]

I can't give you any advice here, except just make sure all the alternatives are explored and you get a second opinion too. I will be thinking about you and sending good vibes.

[twinmommy2014 7]

Do you have kids? You can do IVF and freeze embryos for when you are ready to have a baby if you want to. Hysterectomy is a permanent condition and would make you no longer able to have kids. Maybe it is a factor, maybe it's not.

[bandster_1007 1]

yeah, i'm aware of the fact that i'll have no more kids. it kind of looks that way anyways. i go today to discuss alternatives.

i'm going to look into freezing my eggs, but then i would have to have a surrogate mother. that probably would not be easy.

well, thank you for all your responses. i'm at work today very drugged, and in pain...i'll see the doctor today and i'll let you all know.

[JamieNP 20]

There are also cardiovascular risks that you need to discuss with your doctor. You need to be aware of ALL of the risks with a hysterectomy. I am not saying NOT to have it done. I just like for all of my patients to be aware of all of the risks and benefits of a surgery and then they can make the best educated decision the is right for the individual.

My doctor and I discussed it when I was 30 and we thought that it would be best to wait as long as I could. I continued to get ultrasounds every few months for 10 years until I finally said "enough is enough". Like I said, I have never felt better sinice I had everything removed.

[Kat817 19]

I dealt with all of the things mentioned above....endometriosis and the pain and problems it causes for years---treated it and lived with it for seriously 20 years. I miscarried, I lost twin boys 3 weeks before induction, and they eventually decided an enlarged ovarian cyst was the catalyst behind the abruption.

I begged for a hysterectomy! They always had a reason not to do it. Now I liked these people, th GYN and his staff, I had been with them for years!

Then I began the occasional hemorhage. One morning, I could not get it to stop, and my DH called 911. When I got to the hospital, they too had problems getting it stopped. My GYN was out of town, so they brought in the one on call. I was eventually released the next day. Within 24 hours of being home, I got the call that the GYN I saw at the hospital needed to see my DH and I in the office. I had cancer! Of the uteris....specifically of the endometrial lining in the uteris. The concern was with my years of endometriosis, the cancer cells could be anywhere in my body that the endometrial tissue had migrated to. Guess what--I finally got my hysterectomy! Along with a seriously difficult chemotherapy regimine. But I lived to tell about it! They removed everything, including my ovaries, as they were choked off with tissue. As has been pointed out, it was down between my kidneys----all over the place!

I can without a doubt say that was the best thing to ever happen to me! I hurt when I woke up of course---I had had a seriously major surgery---it was done abdominally as well. But I FELT better already! I was down a couple of weeks, and took it easy, for another month---only light lifting,that kind of thing. Now that was easy for me, I was sick from the chemo, but physically from the hysterectomy, I was recovering about a month. But it has been a blessing! I wish to God they had done it years ago!!!!

My sex life has not suffered at all! There are times my body is not cooperative, and we have to rely on a bit of lube----but it is limited to that--the desire is there--there is no pain. I do not feel less of a woman (I NEVER understood that!).

Ironically, since the weight loss, the lack of lubrication is no longer an issue anymore.

I have not ever taken any HRT -- the amount of tissue strangling my ovaries, had pretty much sent me through early menopausal symptoms for years----hot flashes, night sweats, bitchy as all hell! But they disappeared following surgery!

It and the band, have both been blessings I only wish I had had earlier in life.

If no more kids is not an issue, I would get rid of it---do not take a chance waiting and end up with the cancer Dx I got!!!

Good Luck to you!!!!

Kat

[bandster_1007 1]

thank you kat. your story brings tears to my eyes. i have had cancer but it was on my cervix and it was removed before it could spread. it was not hpv.

i fear the cancer because it seems like the day i started my period it has been nothing but problems. i had my first surgery for endometriosis at 13!!!! and had 2 more by the time i was 21. the endometriosis is not so much a problem anymore (although i would have to say that i feel just as bad)..now it is the cystic ovaries. i had over 100 cysts on my ovaries when they worked on them 3 months ago. 100!!! that had all gotten there in the course of 6 years. they were not cancerous cysts, but painful.

i feel like i already suffer from the symptoms that a lot of women have after surgery. sex is very painful, especially if there is any contact with the cervix. it shoots pains up to my belly button. certain positions are out of the question because of this...i have absolutely no natural lube unless dh tries really hard for a while to get me in the mood. i'm moody, extremely bitchy a lot, i have terrible terrible cramps and back aches, i'll have bad pms, but no period. i feel like it is time and i have just been putting off the inevitable. i have the night sweats already, i have the facial hair, my hormones are crazy.

i feel like now i know why i got pregnant at 18. i was supposed to. it seems that the only time i could have had a successful pregnancy i did. sure, i do want more kids. that is not something i can trick myself out of, but i do not feel it is worth the pain and agony, not to mention expense to have another one. dh does not want any more, and by the time he changes his mind, my body is just going to be in worse condition. we also discussed this seriously and if we decide we want more, we will adopt.

also, it seems that i'm having periods, but it is not leaving my body. it is just pooling up in my uterus causing me bad infections and pain. i honestly feel the need to "bare down" every time i go to the bathroom. i feel pressure on my cervix and i feel like "the bottom is going to fall out" every day of my life.

i'm terrified. i'm scared i will go into a depression, and miss my female parts. i'm scared sex is going to be worse than it is now. i mean it is painful and my drive is awful. that is not normal for a 26 year old. i could go months without it and be fine, but i don't because i know that it is not healthy for myself or my marriage.

dh has lost his spontaneity because i'm always hurting and it seems like i get an infection everytime we do anything..and no he is not giving it to me.

i asked the doctor why this keeps happening, i follow the rules..i do not douche, i do not take baths, i do not use harsh soaps, i wear cotton underwear, i cannot get into hot tubs, etc. the doctor said that my system is just in really bad condition.

so that is it in a nutshell. i feel like my body has betrayed me. i'm scared, but i see no other options. it's been tried. i just had surgery to "clean me all up" and now look at where i am.

i appreciate all the input, and look forward to any more input that people may have.

[Carrie_C 9]

I can't speak from personal experience, but my sister had to have a hysterectomy when she was 25. (She had cancer). She is now 38 and she hasn't had any problems. Her sex drive is as high as ever! That's all she talks about!

[tapshoes 2]

I too had a total hysterectomy at a young age...cancer. Ovaries were initially left (that became a later event). I never regreted the decision, and the 'silver lining' is that my sex life improved dramatically! Not only was there no pain (which I had been having because of the undiagnosed growths), and a significant number of UTIs, and other things, but also with no worries of pregnancy, sex became a lot less structured (searching for condoms, diaphragms, spermicides, remembering to take pills, etc). No heavy haemorrhaging suddenly causing me to faint, or having to spend a fortune cleaning upholstery (office chairs, friends couches, etc) when the gush would start without warning embarassing me and those around me.

I took 6 weeks off of work - I would have gone back sooner if I had been able to 'ease back' (that is, go part-time). The recovery was uneventful but I was just SOOOO tired and would fall asleep alot. This is expected; it isn't a complication.

The worst part - the absolute worst part post-op for me - the first time you stand up (the protocol of my doc is that it is done between 24-36 hours after surgery). OMG...if they offer a shot of morphine or something before hand USE IT!! After that, it was easier every time, and I was home 3 days post-op; climbing stairs 5 days post-op; walking around the block in a week...slowly, but doing it!

No regrets - well, other than no one WANTS to lose body parts, but on balance, cancer versus keeping a uterus - NO CONTEST!!

Good luck.

[MADE IT 2 MY GOAL..OH YEAH 0]

I am 30 yrs old and had mine when I was only 22 years old. I like you had serve PMS. When it was my time of the month, I was in the bed with a heating pad the whole time. I had skipped periods, endometrisos (had 5 surgeries for this and none of them worked), I had cysts on both my ovaries, I had alot wrong with my womanly insides. I was rushed for an emergency hystro. due to my uteris not shrinking back to its normal size after giving birth to my 2nd child.

Since I have had mine done, I have never regreted it. I don't have to deal with the monthly pains of periods and any of the crazy stuff that come along with it. It was one of the best things that I had ever had done.

[Lisa B 0]

I too had a hysterectomy at a fairly young age (32) and have never regretted it. Mine was done laproscopically (yes, I have at least 10 little incisions on my belly these days, after lap band! :thumbup:), and I have never ever regretted it. When I think of the pain and suffering I endured I wish I had only had it done earlier.

I did keep my ovaries, which you probably would not, so I can't speak to the instant menopause thing, but I seriously think it was the best surgery I ever had -- up to and including lap band.

The sheer secession of pain, bleeding and generally being out of commission 5-9 days a month, so worth it.

Hysterectomy is not for everyone, but I truly believe it is was the best choice for me. You'll be able to get on with the rest of your life!