Embarrassed by Weight Loss???

[HeatherO 7]

Now that I have lost most of my weight, people have really taken notice. Strangers, family and everyone in between are now approaching me and saying, wow you look great. What are you doing??? How much have you lost???

At first I was absolutely thrilled with my weight loss being noticed. Now I am ready to fade back into being relatively unnoticed.

As far as "What are you doing???" is concerned I always answer, exercise, Portion Control, lack of processed carbs with no bread, no rice. I don't mention the band outside of this forum. This is an acceptable answer and people almost never question anything beyond that.

As far as "How much have you lost???" is concerned . . . I am not always answering this truthfully. I am beginning to become more embarrassed as the weight loss number grows higher and so I give a lower number than is true. I never say so much more than . . . I lost around 50 pounds. So I am now downplaying my weight loss, I can't believe I am doing this . . . because I never would have guessed I would have felt this way.

Why am I embarrassed? Because a big number means that I was a lot heavier than I ever wanted to accept. It is like now that I am relatively normal, I want everyone, including myself, to forget that I used to be different.

I used to read threads before banding where people say, I don't like all the attention weight loss brings . . . I really thought that perhaps some people were just saying that. Now, finally and truly, I think I understand what people are talking about. I just want to be me . . . not the person who lost xx number of pounds.

Is anyone else experiencing this???

[hotdogpriss 0]

I totally understand. I am not so much embarrassed by it, but I do hate being the center of attention and such. I mean yes I am thankful I have lost so much weight.. and I realize that I was huge before etc.. but for once I would just like to have normal conversations with people without it being about my weight loss!

[Chrisann 0]

Well I am getting the opposite, basically from family and acquaintances that I haven't seen in about a year. They notice I have lost weight, mention it to my siblings or parents, but not to me, because they assume the worst, that I am sick and losing weight.

Its so funny when I then approach them and say, I heard you asked my parents, (sisters, brothers) if I was ok because of my weight loss, and I just wanted you to know that I had lapband surgery. So then a small discussion is held, and I say very directly, there were only two ways I would have been able to lose weight, one was being sick, the other this surgery.

Ironically enough, I enjoy talking about the weight loss. Everyone saw me for so many years as fat, and eating, and dieting. Its the greatest feeling to have had the lap band surgery, and for me to be succeeding with it.

Edited August 25, 2008 by Chrisann

[coolcrystal 1]

I think I know what you mean.. about an hour ago a guy at the Water cooler area said "my god you are wasting away".. What does that mean? wasting away i wondered.. and I said "oh you mean the weightloss?" and he said, "yeah, you are melting away".. and I think it's because the pants I'm wearing are about 2 sizes too big and hanging off my butt, but I'm not gonna spend hundreds of bucks on new clothes right now when I still have a lot more to go.. I told him I still had like 90 lbs to go and he looked at me funny. How can somebody be wasting away and still be in their 240's??? lol........ as far as lieing about how much you've lost, I do that too around my bigger friends because I dont' want to hurt their feelings if somebody asks in front of them. I just feel funny about it. I don't ever want it to seem like I'm bragging or whatnot.

[aubrie 6]

the only embarraassment I'm experiencing is in regards to the loose skin on my upper arms. It flaps around like wings, and I find it terribly emabarrassing. I've noticed people staring at my arms, and it's humiliating. I'm not embarassed by my actual loss of weight or the number of pounds.

[Gone4Now 4]

I know for me that the number would be that I was heavier than most people can fathom. (I'm still not at goal, though, so I'm not sure if that thought will change by then.)

Almost like saying it out loud would embarass them and me. (How wacky is THAT?!)

Also, it's like people passing in the halls, asking, "How are you?" then they keep walking. Do they REALLY want to know? Or are they just being polite. I have terrible social skills and usually assume people are being polite and I avoid details.

I was at 300# and now I'm around 225...do people really need to know I was twice their size? I don't want to see the WHOA moment in their eyes. I still have that fat chick inside and she's really embarassed about getting that big, so anyone's comments, no matter how innocent, encouraging and all around nice, still hurt.

[Crishell 0]

Not really embarassed about my weightloss. But does make me sad because I am now aware of just how big I was at one point in my life. I was in denial for sooo long. I hate to see old pictures of myself. I finally threw away alot of my biggest clothing. I had been holding on to old clothes out of fear of gaining the weight that I had lost back. But those clothes were huge and now actually swallow me up. I get alot of questions, positive comments and encouragement from family, friends, co-workers. But I have never taken compliments well and have never liked to be the center of attention in anything. While I know people are being nice and supportive, I hate for them to focus on my weightloss because I fear gaining it all back and seeing myself as a failure.

[Jodi_620 37]

the only embarraassment I'm experiencing is in regards to the loose skin on my upper arms. It flaps around like wings, and I find it terribly emabarrassing. I've noticed people staring at my arms, and it's humiliating. I'm not embarassed by my actual loss of weight or the number of pounds.

OMG! I have only lost 37 pounds and I am already seeing that! I was putting on underarm deoderant while looking in the mirror this morning. When I lifted my arm, all of the skin of my upper arm sagged down toward my pit and it looked like the arm of a 90 year old woman! :smile2: I made a mental note to get rid of any top that does not sufficently cover that mess!

[tmfritts 0]

First of all - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEIGHTLOSS (all of you!) !!!

I certainly don't mean to sound insensitive - but you deserve all the praise!! You have worked hard to lose the weight and you need to embrace it and rejoice in the "new" you!!!

I don't like to be the center of attention either, but lighten up and have fun!! You worked dam hard to get to where you are!! Enjoy it!!!

Soon they will get used to you this way!

Yipee!!! You have lost weight!!!

Congrats!

Terri

[mdgarcia31665 0]

Haha, "lighten up" we have, literally. And I have to say it feels great! I think we all agree. As for the embarrassment: People at work ask "how much have you lost?" I am not close with these people and to me it really is rude of them to ask such a personal question. I feel that if I answer a question like that they will know how much I really weighed and that is none of their business. I just tell them, "a lot". That usually satisfies them. If not, too bad! My weight loss is not their concern, they weren't concerned about me when I was fat, why all up in my business now? But I am proud of myself, and that is what matters.

What makes me stop and think is when someone calls me "skinny". It usually is someone who does know me, family, friends, and the few people I am close with at work. That's when I stop and think "Wow, if they are calling me skinny, (I am far from that) I must have been freakin' huge!!

I am slowly getting used to the compliments, because I too am uncomfortable with the attention.

Yes we should relish the fact that we are on our way to where we want to be and we are doing a great job getting there!

[lapbandbarb 0]

Haha, "lighten up" we have, literally.

Ha, that is so cute and funny! I can't wait for people to start noticing my weight loss. Nobody has really noticed yet or at least nobody has said anything :confused2: Once I start seeing people from my kid's school, I better hear some compliments!

[DesertRose 0]

What you are saying makes perfect sense to me. I too, am a little nervous now that I'm getting a little more attention from others, for several reasons. One is, now that people are starting to look a little closer, will they like what they see? Will they really like the real me? I'm sure that like all the other phases of this journey, once you get through it, these feelings will pass. You've done a great job and you have been an inspiration to me since I've been reading this forum. Keep up the good work. You should write a book. It would sell a million copies in no time, guaranteed! :crying:

[Laurinda 1]

*Not to Embarrass you BUT you look GREAT!!!! *

I understand 110%! I posted something back when I had lost 50 lbs and I couldn't "cut myself a break" when people noticed my weight loss and said things to me. Now that I am closer to 100 lbs the comments are daily and some people go on and on about it. I am very thankful but yes embarrassed. Maybe because YES to admit such large numbers lost means you have to admit where you were ( for me).

I do chuckle to myself when someone says "OMG you are wasting away to nothing" (at 227 mind you) and others that don't know you look over at you like ??????? lol.

When a patient comes in and says "Wow you have lost weight haven't you?" I just smile and respond "Yeah a few pounds" or " Yes a pound or two" The ones that go on and on I kinda move em to the side and make idle chit chat then try to move them along.

So weird you posted this....I was just telling my husband this morning that with being heavy came issues...but with losing weight you have a whole new set of issues you are not accustom to.

[Betelnut 10]

After a while people will get used to your new look and the compliments/comments will slow down and stop. It can be a bit too much sometimes at first, but you deserve it!

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Heather - I can understand where you are coming from. No one has to know how much you've lost unless you tell them. Just say a lot and let it be. Don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable. You've worked your ass off to get where you are. If you don't want to tell them - don't. It is after all just a number. I'm sure your NSV's and new found life are worth more.