Embarrassed by Weight Loss???

[kristy6 0]

Well for me, people say how much have you lost and I actually tell them. I say 90 pounds and they look at me and say Really? LIke i am lying about it or something.

One lady said I noticed you looked different but just oculdnt tell what it was. Then she said I can tell it in your neck.... Good lord I had a 90 pound neck I guess. LOL

Anyway I am still big so I just say.

' yeah it sucks to lose 90 pounds and still be this big huh? " That shuts em up.

I still weight 255 so I was a big ol gal and I am still wearing clothes from before surgery. One lady told me I was swimming in my clothes, but I cant wear smaller ones yet I guess I am in between.

I get aggravated when people talk about losing 40 or so pounds and losing 4 to 6 sizes and I have lost 90 freaking pounds and still wear my 26 pants. Its like I lose on the scale but not on my ass... LOl

Oh well Maybe it will come on day... Oh one more... hehe my nephew told me i looked half as big as before .. mind you i weigh 255 still so i was like damn did i look 500 pounds before??

Anyway I know we all have funny and not so funny stories.. I am proud of every pound . I know i lost it and thats all that matters. My son can reach all the way around me now. He says mama your getting so skinny.. i'm like yeah right son.

[HeatherO 7]

Thanks everyone for your input :0).

I think most of it is that I am a quiet, reserved person that does not share personal details with strangers. I am just not used to strangers asking me personal questions.

I know if I say 70 pounds and the response is "OMG, 70 POUNDSSS!!!" I know I will be blushing beet red down to my toes in a way that only pale red-heads can blush. I think saying "I lost a bit" or something more non-specific is better than a number.

[Donna113 2]

Heather, I think that's the key -- do and say what feels most comfortable and right for you. You've accomplished a lot and you are so close to your goal, you should feel very good about yourself!

[010308 0]

Then she said I can tell it in your neck.... Good lord I had a 90 pound neck I guess. LOL

Its like I lose on the scale but not on my ass... LOl

Maybe it really was all in your neck?!?!?!

Just kidding... you gave me a chuckle so I had to comment.

What I really really hate... at over 300 lbs is when people I haven't seen for a while say, "Oh my gosh you're getting so skinny!" Skinny?? I can only imagine what the guy walking by is thinking when he hears that said to me. :smile2:

[slimmy120 2]

Everyone , except for some of the guys are saying dont lose any more weight you are to thin, ladies in dress shops say i have a good figure -- so called female friends say need to put on 10 to 15lbs, doctor says no all is good now give or take the 4lb up or down fluctuation. Jealously that is what i say, i know i use to tell my good figured slim friends you need to put on weight ---- haha i am one of those slimmys now.:smile2:

[kossde 6]

I can understand why you're embarrassed completely. I was 321 lbs when I had the lapband surgery. I carry my weight all over so I didn't look quite as large as I was. Now, I've lost 64 lbs - about 1/3 of my total weight loss goal. I don’t have a problem when people ask me how much I've lost - I’ll announce it to the world - it's quite an achievement. The problem I have is when they ask how much MORE I intend to lose- "um, 120 lbs give or take." C'mon, that's 180 lbs of weight loss!! That's more than an average person weighs! So, mostly (especially with nosey bosses and co-workers) I just don’t answer. Those closest to me- family and friends – get the hard, honest truth. They all know how much I’ve struggled with my weight and they have all been incredibly supportive of my decisions so I use that as a crutch to lean on. They know the journey I have to take – they know how hard it has been and will be – and they will support me. That’s all I need

As far as everyone else goes – they can just keep guessing! Geez

[SpecialK 22]

Yes, I'm proud of how much I've lost but still have a long way to go and its amazing to me too when people say I can see it in your face and neck especially... but I can see it in the clothes for sure...

On the issue of not spending alot of money while we are losing I totally support this and have some advice for all -- find your local thrift shop, Goodwill, and plus size consignment stores and check often. They even have end of the month clearances, senior discount days, etc. and its wonderful. Good name brand clothing at incredible prices. I bought a blouse for work yesterday for $1.50 that was from a favorite plus size store I always shopped at called Catherine's, and the blouse was beautiful and would have cost me at least $30 on sale at that plus size store. I found a pair of jeans and a pair of nice work pants for $3.59 each. I have had similar luck in consignment stores, getting three pairs of work pants for about $12 - nice quality pants, no flaws in them. So, this is how I plan to survive getting through over 180 total pounds to lose while still wearing nice clothes that accent my weight loss and not try to hide under my old extra size things. It is still very hard mentally to reach for a smaller size after so many years looking at the largest size they had.

Just to give you a real laugh for a Sunday a.m., the jeans I bought were a little snug and I had to lay on my bed to zip them up all the way...ha ha.... but I know in just a few weeks, they will be fine and I'll be glad I bought them as a 'stretch' goal to fit into.

[mamanmidwife 0]

I'm still at the point that people just know something is different "get new haircut?". Family and close friends I tell thme that basically I have to lose my 18yo daughter Tiffany (125lbs) to be just "overweight" anfd they can't beleive it. "you're not that heavy" well yeah I am, that' why i needed this surgury. But it is hard to admit that.

Gigi

PS you guys are an inspiration, keep up the great work

[2BHealthE! 1]

It can be sticky when you're asked personal questions by folks who aren't close enough to share personal info with. Here is my script -

Q: "How much have you lost?" A: "Some of what I want to."

Q: "How much more do you want to lose?" A: "Until I feel healthy and ready to stop losing."

Q: "You're getting so skinny." (ugh) A: "Thank you."

Q: "How are you losing?" A: "Eating less and lots of exercise."

Q: "I can really see your weight loss in your _____." (fill in the blank: neck, face, chest) A. "Thank you."

Q: "I'm glad you decided to do something about your weight. I was worried about you." A: "Thank you."

Q: "Are you worried about having saggy skin?" A: "There is so much that I could worry about in life. What do you think about the presidential race?"

It also helps to mentally think "idiot" after I say thank you to a somewhat rude statement or question.

[OH Juli 15]

When people ask how much I've lost I typically say, "I don't share that information."

When they really want to know, I say, "How much do you think I've lost?" That makes any sane person uncomfortable.

I've yet to be called skinny, but I do get the "are you going to lose more?" question. I answer "I hope so."

Often when people gush, like horribly, uncomfortably, can they just shut the heck up gush, I say, "I'm the same woman I was before, same eyes, same heart. Just healthier and how are you?"

[hotdogpriss 0]

I hate when people ask aren't you afraid of your skin sagging? That's the least of my worries! I'd trade being overweight and unhealthy for a little saggy skin anyday! I know exactly how you feel SpecialK about shopping... even though I don't have to shop in the plus sizes anymore, that's the first place I head in a store. It's really mental I guess. Everyone else tells me how great I look, and that I am getting so thin, but all I see is how much more I have to loose!

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Hi Ladies,

I'm not banded yet, but this thread is very interesting...I know I'll face some of this, so first, let me thank you all for sharing. I'll be ready with my quips and comebacks when the questions come!

Regarding wardrobe challenges - I completely understand. I am a clothes horse - if I had enough money and enough rooms in my house, I could fill them all up! I love clothes, shoes, accessories and all of it! :cool2:

There's a concept called capsule wardrobing - you purchase 5 - 10 pieces of clothing and then mix and match the garments to create many more outfits. I have worked as an Image Consultant, and this is one of the concepts I used to teach my clients. If you use consignment shops and sales to build your capsules at significant points in your band journey, you will continue to look your best at each stage.

Self-esteem is SO important - please, please don't wait until you have lost all the weight you want to lose to dress your new (and evolving) body. I've already started virtual shopping for the new wardrobe I KNOW I'm going to need once I'm banded - and I can't wait to make some of my virtual picks a reality.

Realize that you will WANT to wear different colors, fabrics and styles than you did when you started your journey - bring attention to the beautiful parts of you while your work-in-progress continues! I'll always wear shorter skirts because I LOVE my legs. I'll always wear v-necks and wrap dresses because they highlight my beautifully bountiful bustline and I pray I don't lose that while I'm losing the excess weight!

Love yourselves, my sisters-in-the-struggle, and dress like the gorgeous women you are!

[elle 1]

I understand your feelings completely. I think weight loss is a personal journey. Not That many people have noticed my weight loss( or they haven't commented) because they see me every day. When people do notice and they ask me how long, how much. I tell them that I have been trying for over a year (actually I have been trying most of my life). How much? I also say a lot. If they push me, I try to avoid it. For people closer to me, I will say around 50lbs and I intend to keep to that number when I reach my goal of losing 120 lbs. Noone has to know how much in reality. Do they tell you how much they weigh. What are they going to do, call you a liar?. My doctor also told me not to tell people about the band. I don't need opinions/comments etc from anyone. Only my immediate family know. Good Luck and congradulations on your loss.

[Fairysaddle 0]

I am proud of myself, but I am also a little bit embarrassed by the numbers and attention. Fortunately, I knew going in that I wouldn't be comfortable discussing it all the time, so I just tell people "I'm sorry, but I don't give numbers." Most of my "inner circle" knows not to ask.

I read this one on one of the boards, so I can't take credit for it. But I've also occasionally used "oh, a few sizes. Thank you." That lets you answer without really answering. Which is kind of nice. A couple times with my "no numbers" reply the person started apologizing profusely. I felt bad for making them feel bad when they were only trying to be nice and supportive. I like the compliments, and if I make people feel bad I'm going to stop getting them. :thumbup:

[tapshoes 2]

My favourite/frequently used response to people brazen enough to ask:

Why would you ask such a personal question? Said with a nice smile and in a nice tone...they never ask again!