Support from husband but he's a lover of sweets

[DesertRose 0]

I looked for a thread relating to the problems of spouses who are thin and can and DO eat anything they want.... in front of you. *sigh*

I love my hubby but he makes me crazy. He will be good for a while but soon he's right back into the same habit. Buying boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes, stocking the fridge with ice cream, etc. He was supportive during and after the surgery (banded June 24) but he looks at me like I'm crazy if I tell him not to bring that junk in the house. He seems to think, though he has not come out and said it, that I should have more will power than that.

Yes, I'm banded and have had two fills but it's a slow process until you obtain the proper level of restriction. I keep having the cravings for sweets, which has cause me some minor set backs. He brought doughnuts into the house the other morning. I tried one and it got stuck. I almost PB'd, which made me put down the doughnut, vowing never to touch them again. I've gained all this weight since being married to a thin person who loves to eat. :wink2: It's all his fault. :cursing:

Any advice???? sewing sheets together.... just kidding!!!

[RestlessMonkey 7]

LOL Yes I agree it IS his fault! No tips. My DH God bless him is actually following the preop diet with me. I know he loves me, but I am stunned. He has eaten some things I don't care for in front of me ... and I told him he could "eat away from home" but he's hanging tough to show support.

I know he can't keep it up forever though...and while he could stand to lose about 30 pounds he isn't a band candidate. He doesn't have a sweet tooth (someday I WILL eat some of a krispy kreme again) but he does like chips and nuts and so on. If you come up with a good plan, let me know.

I'm hoping maybe once I lose enough for it to actually show, and I get a fill or two, It'll be easier?

[rstroud100 0]

I am adjusting my diet around my wife's requirements since she is in the process to get banded. I have not made the banding decision myself but I will do whatever I can to help her succeed. The process has got me focused on dieting and exercise so I am benefiting from this also. I think that your spouse has to be considerate of your needs and should adjust accordingly. Good Luck...

[legdxdlr 0]

my husband has sweet tooth also and is thin. he bought 4 packages of cookie dough 3 days after my surgery and baked them and all the family ate them in front of me while i could only eat Jello. I told him he was very inconsiderate So, I feel your pain

[kimaly 57]

Well, my oppinion defers from the others AGAIN. my hubby is one of those and since i started this journey i still make him big ole country dinners every night. it was harder during the liquid stage, but i don't find it that difficult any longer he also has to have his sweets every evening, i made him a cheese cake 2 nights ago(my fav) but i didn't touch it. i decided when i started this that i was ready. just because it's on the menue doesn't mean you have to order it and just because it's there doesn't mean you have to put it in your mouth. i'm finding there are alot of good things that taste good that i can have and now i tell him that's mine you have your own stuff in there unless you want to eat the same things i am and then we can stop buying all that junk. so far he's still stuck on the junk. and i'm waiting for him to make his life change but it has to be when he's ready. remember just because your thin doesn't mean your healthy

[chicks3 0]

baking Cookies when you are on Jello-----oh I would have shot him, taken his cookies and ran!:wink2: thats just cruel and unusual punishment!

I (except for cookies--always been a cookie monster, always will) agree with the post on here that I am of the mindset that I don't care what he eats, I am ready to do this for myself, I want to be healthy and I am willing to give up what I used to eat to acheive my goals. My husband is being very supportive in my effort to get healthy. Although he does love his chips and nuts and candy bars, he eats them when I am not around. He does know however that if I catch him with a cookie he is a dead man! I do have my limits:biggrin2:

[justmel1957 1]

Well, my oppinion defers from the others AGAIN. my hubby is one of those and since i started this journey i still make him big ole country dinners every night. it was harder during the liquid stage, but i don't find it that difficult any longer he also has to have his sweets every evening, i made him a cheese cake 2 nights ago(my fav) but i didn't touch it. i decided when i started this that i was ready. just because it's on the menue doesn't mean you have to order it and just because it's there doesn't mean you have to put it in your mouth. i'm finding there are alot of good things that taste good that i can have and now i tell him that's mine you have your own stuff in there unless you want to eat the same things i am and then we can stop buying all that junk. so far he's still stuck on the junk. and i'm waiting for him to make his life change but it has to be when he's ready. remember just because your thin doesn't mean your healthy

I agree with you totally. I still cook "big" for my normal weight husband. He is very healthy and physically active. I bake the sweets, and still buy all the things he loves. I too, knew going in that this was MY journey and I had to get my head around it. Temptations are not going to go away. I just have to find ways to work around them. I do try to bake right after I've had a meal and feel full, then I store the goodies out of plain sight so they aren't the first thing I see when I open the cabinet door or the frig. My DH is very supportive and tries to be as considerate as he can if he is eating something I adore, but I don't ask him to give up his favorites, just because I can't have them. I'm taking joy in my improving appearance and smaller clothes! LOL It feels much better than a slice of pecan pie anyway!

[fujika 0]

My husband also has a giant sized sweet tooth! I knew going in to this, that wouldn't change. I don't expect my whole family to "diet" just because I am. Although I see little changes here and there. My 8year old daughter is eating tuna salad in a bowl instead of on bread, which is good,:wink2: our family has a long history of carb addicts! Also, I am, well I was until football/cheer season started, cooking more healthy food. I decided going into this that I was not going to "diet". I am not going to deprive myself of everything that I've ever loved! Of course, there are things I don't eat, for fear of getting stuck, most breads, popcorn, dense red meat, to name a few. But everything else in moderation. I want to eat like a "normal" person, not a "dieter". This is a life long healthy change, I am eating different, but I still occasionaly have a treat.

[tapshoes 2]

I decided that I wasn't going to have a 2 kitchen house - by that I mean creating different things for DH and myself, or eating at different times to avoid seeing what he ate, or even asking him to 'sneak food' or eat elsewhere. This is a lifetime commitment (the band AND the relationship), and therefore whatever changes are made are not temporary fixes, but are actions that can be maintained over time. So, DH has always had a sweet tooth, that's not going to change. I still bake things, and he eats them just as he always has. I have introduced more 'treats' that we both can enjoy, but they are alternated with his date squares, pies, and whatevers. I choose not to eat those. Over time his sweet tooth may diminish or change as he tries more of the less fattening/more healthy treats, but I won't force those changes, and I don't want to encourage unhealthy behaviours by having him 'sneak' food or eat elsewhere.

[areellady 1]

I have a bit of a different look on this. My house had changed what they eat just like I changed what I eat. They eat what I eat. I don't make them seperate meals or seperate Snacks. There are a few things I buy for them that I don't eat, and vice versa, but for the most part it is a family commitment to get healthy.

Saying that, my husband is the same size or a bit smaller that he was in high school, so he is not overweight in any shape or form. He takes his lunch to work and has apples and yogurt everyday.

When I decided I was going to have this surgery, we talked about it, and he knew that it was a family change, not just a me change.

I guess everyone does what works for them and their family, but I do know myself well enough to know that if there is a lot of Snacks and goodies around, I would eat them. The only time I buy chips is if we are going camping. I buy candy then too. I always end up eating the crap when camping too. Thats why I don't have it in the house all the time.

[justmel1957 1]

I have a bit of a different look on this. My house had changed what they eat just like I changed what I eat. They eat what I eat. I don't make them seperate meals or seperate Snacks. There are a few things I buy for them that I don't eat, and vice versa, but for the most part it is a family commitment to get healthy.

Saying that, my husband is the same size or a bit smaller that he was in high school, so he is not overweight in any shape or form. He takes his lunch to work and has apples and yogurt everyday.

When I decided I was going to have this surgery, we talked about it, and he knew that it was a family change, not just a me change.

I guess everyone does what works for them and their family, but I do know myself well enough to know that if there is a lot of Snacks and goodies around, I would eat them. The only time I buy chips is if we are going camping. I buy candy then too. I always end up eating the crap when camping too. Thats why I don't have it in the house all the time.

Looks like its working great for you.............you look fabulous!

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I think everyone is different; my DH and I think of ourselves as a team. We have no kids, so I don't need to worry about them dying of starvation without twinkies or something. When he wanted to quit smoking in 1995, I quit too. I smoked more than he did and liked it more, BUT I wanted him to quit because he had been smoking much much longer. He wants me to succeed in this; we've been married a long time and he's truly loved me through "thick and thin" but as I'm getting older I am not the "let's go do this, let's go do that" playpal I once was. I am prediabetic, have hypertension, have high cholesterol. Pragmatically, he can watch what he eats now and have me healthy, or spend years caring for me while I go downhill. When you look at it that way, keeping the doughnuts and patty melts out of the house is a no-brainer. Just one more way to look at it.

[DesertRose 0]

Thank you all for your GREAT replies! I see things in a different perspective, thanks to all your posts. I too, love to cook. It gives me joy to cook for my family. It makes me happy to make my hubby happy. When I started on my journey to quit smoking in 2002, I did it on my own. Hubby still smokes to this day. All I asked is that he NOT do it in front of me and he doesn't. My food addiction, however, is a whole different story. Allowing sweets and junk around a food addict is like putting an alcoholic in a liquor store and telling them not to touch anything. Would you look at them and say "You really should have more will power than that"? With that being said, I wholeheartedly agree with all of you. This is MY journey, and I will complete it. My reward will be a healthier new me.

Mucho love...

[chicamam1 1]

I am as well dealing with this from my husband. He does feel guilty eating in front of me, however in saying that he is still eating the same ol crap as before. When i was on my way home from my consult which was a long drive, i was starving and he called me to ask to pick something up for him and the kids. I said ok but cant you do it? Its like hello, dont you think that will tempt me? Of course I have to be strong, but i will also ensure alot of the bad habits my family is in, will be broken too. Great way for everyone to become healthy. When im back on solids, We will be eating the same healthy foods which is good, but I do understand. I canot drink pop yet its in the house.

[aubrie 6]

My husband is a sucker for chips...... They come in every shape and size in our house. Every flavor too. It's maddening. Of course, when I slip up, it's ALWAYS on chips and crackers...... Grrrrrrr.....