Nobody noticing weight loss

[MissMaryAnn 0]

It might be that people do notice, and think you look great, but don't know what to say. I work at a great company but we have a very strict policy regarding both privacy and sexual harassment. One of my coworkers has obviously lost a TON of weight and looks wonderful. I didn't feel comfortable bringing it up, though, because I didn't want her to feel self-conscious, like everyone at work was monitoring her weight. As a big woman myself, I worry about that a lot. :smile2:

However, one day I just told her in private that she looked great and asked if she was doing anything differently. She told me that she'd been working out with a personal trainer and had been eating healthier and had lost 40 pounds. I confessed that I had noticed and she was thrilled, not embarassed at all.

It may be that your friends and family may just not know how to approach you but are admiring your hard work from a distance.

[firefish 0]

I know how you feel too... I lost 80lbs on Atkins about 5 years ago and none of my co-workers noticed any weight loss until I was at 55lbs! When they did notice, I got a "Hey have you been losing weight?" Duh! Fortunately they didn't question me when I gained it all back either!

[aubrie 6]

I think people notice, but many are at a loss about what to say. They fear they may offend you by bringing it up. They don't want to be crass or rude, or make you feel bad. It is an awkward situation, and they don't want to upset you. some people are very sensitive if you mention their weight. I catch people staring at me all the time, but they never say a word. They notice....... Not to mention the people out there that are jealous of your accomplishments, and don't want to give you credit for it, because it would make THEM feel bad for not taking control of THEIR weight problem. Jealousy can be an ugly thing....... Don't worry. Believe me. 45 pounds DOES show.....

[agreatknead 1]

Just one more quick comment to let you know many of us have "been there, done that". I get comments quite a bit like "did you get a different hair cut?" or "are those new glasses?" I just want to yell at them "no dummy I've lost 40 lbs can't you tell." But sometimes those are the things people notice when they think you look different. Hang in there, its all good. One day soon you'll knock their socks off and they will think you lost it overnite!

[changesron 0]

Lisa Congratulations on your weightloss. Girl 45 lbs is a lot of weight lost. Keep up the great job. I got kinda depressed because I have lost 50 lbs and not a soul has noticed. I had my surgery Jine 4, 2008. A couple of weeks ago my son said, " Mom,, are you losing weight?" I told him yes that I hadlost 50 lbs. It made me feel really good that he had noticed. He said he did not know at first if he should say anything to me or not I'm glad he did. I started out weighing 346 and now I weigh 296. Keep up the great job. My goal is 140 so I have a long way to go. We will be noticed for our weightloss soon.We can do this. Hugs!

[NanaRenan 0]

Brava, Lisa -- and not "Silly" at all!!

I agree with everyone else's comments -- people who don't care about you are too jealous/bitter to give you a compliment and people who DO care about you are trying to decide if it's rude to mention weight at all. (I've LOL through the years at the lengths people will go to avoid discussing WEIGHT issues around a fat person -- whereas others will talk of nothing else!)

I thrive on the compliments because I don't SEE it when I look in the mirror. Even though at - 91 lbs I'm buying 18s instead of 28s, I still can't SEE anything but a FAT me when I look in the mirror. *shrug* That'll just take more time, I guess.

But hang in there. You're doing great!

[2b-banded 0]

do you have a history of loosing/gaining/loosing/gaining? I have a friend who will loose a lot of weight, once even lost 170 pounds, and then slowly gain it back. Maybe they are afraind they will mention it, but you will have started gaining the weight back, which might embarrass you and/or them. Don't know if that could be it, but I know I've stuck my foot in it often enough that I'm reluctant to mention it to very many people, especially people that I'm "work friends" with as oposed to "friend friends" if those terms make sense

[Donna113 2]

I lost 65 lbs about two years ago. Everyone noticed it and even my mom. However, I Mom said "you have really started showing your age now, since you lost some of the weight". Can you believe that. That did me in and have now gained all of it back and then some, now 250.....

Okie, I think your mom is beyond mean for saying something so cruel. But you know what, I think most of us have somoeone like your mom in our lives, maybe our moms, sisters, co-workers, spouses, etc. You've got to get over people like that and love yourself enough to not let them sabotage you. They are feeding off your misery and you are allowing them to victimize you every time you let them take away your victories. Maybe you can't ever tell your mom to "f-off" but get a picture of her and look at it and tell her off. After that, get back on track. Go back to the doctor and get your fills where they need to be; talk to the nutritionist; find an exercise buddy. Just love yourself enough to be good to yourself.

[Melody2006 1]

I had a friend tell me that she didn't mention my weight loss because she didn't want to point me out and make me embarrassed. I guess I understood that.

[nina874 48]

45lb is a fantastic weightloss hon!!! Try and pick up a 45lb sack of tatties and you will soon realise what you have acheived.

As for people noticing, I have a couple of theories on that, one is (as a previous poster pointed out) that when people are with you all the time it is such a gradual process that their perception of you adjusts as you lose, a bit like when your kids grow. You dont notice your children growing, and your memories of when they were shorter get a little fuzzy.

The other one is that some people dont notice fat people, you are still not 'normal' to them so they don't notice until you are much nearer to goal, and therefore nearer a 'normal' body shape.

The final one is that ironically the nearer you are to goal the more dramatic a difference even a 10lb loss will make, at a size 8 10lb will take you down to a size 6, at a size 18 10lb wont really make any difference!

[HeatherO 7]

The final one is that ironically the nearer you are to goal the more dramatic a difference even a 10lb loss will make, at a size 8 10lb will take you down to a size 6, at a size 18 10lb wont really make any difference!

I absolutely agree with this statement. It has definitely been the case for me. Every 5-10 pounds seems to bring futher comments now when it took 30-40 pounds before. Everything is just sooo much more noticeable.

As for people noticing, I have a couple of theories on that, one is (as a previous poster pointed out) that when people are with you all the time it is such a gradual process that their perception of you adjusts as you lose, a bit like when your kids grow. You dont notice your children growing, and your memories of when they were shorter get a little fuzzy.

Speaking of children and unnoticed changes, my 16 year old son has never said a word about my weight loss. He doesnt know I was banded. I was thinking about it more after reading this thread and so I just asked him for the first time on Friday evening, "Do you think I have lost any weight?" Can you believe his answer was "I don't know, I can't tell."

So this is after going from 18/20 & XL/XXL to 10/12 & M/L in six months. When I lay my before clothes next to my current clothes I am staggered (and saddened that I was ever that large to begin with) by the difference. He did not notice this change??? Knowing my son, I think he answered this truthfully without trying to play with my head, he really just didn't notice.

My son is thankfully not affected by weight woes since both my son and husband are tall and athletic in build. We have a decent relationship, almost never argue, he is shy and a bit of a homebody spending way too much time on the computer . . . pretty much a shy and sensitive boy and never much trouble. All in all we are making it through the teenage years without too much strife . . . and he can't notice this kind of difference . . . how on earth can that be????

I am guessing that it must be when you are 16 that your personal world grows the size of an elephant while your parents lives shrink to the size and complexity of a peanut, lol. I think my weight changes may not be relevant to his life. Nothing has changed in his perspective, I exercise a lot now . . . which I did prior to banding as well. He doesn't notice or care about what I eat.

So what does this mean for the future of my son . . . is he going to be one of those husbands that never notices his wifes new hairdo or clothes? Is this just a passing stage? Any thoughts . . . ???

[bodybutter64 0]

I know what you mean I started at 233 am down to 206.5 and neither of my sisters have said a word, mom either it can be fustrating my clothing is hanging on me like a bag yet nothing not a good job- I think they truly believe I am only losing weight because the band does it they have no clue about the work it takes to make it come off..

I haven't had a fill yet maybe next month who who knows but the weight that has come off is due to walking swimming and watching everything I eat.

maybe when I hit 135! LOL

[changesron 0]

In an earlier post I said that the 50 lbs that I have lost so far was unnoticed by any one except my son. I have three children of my own and three step children. They range between the ages of 26 -35 and none of them live at home and I do not see then but about once every two weeks or so. I think I did not mention also that I did not tell anyone that I was having the lapband. I still haven't told anyone. My husband is the only one that knows and he has been very supportive. One day my son just asked me if I was losing weight. I worked so hard getting it of,, yes,, I was excited it was noticed. I think people are just too wrapped up in their own lives to notice much of anything unless it pertains to themselves. I know that I do not notice things unless it's something I'm interested in. I do notice if someone has lost weight or if they got their hair cut or if it is styled differently. I will notice clothes if they are really appealing to me. Jewelry and shoes and other things just don't get noticed by me unless someone brings it to my attention. People in general are just strange creatures. Hugs!

[aubrie 6]

My 23 year old son has noticed. He walked up to me in the kitchen and put his skinny forearm up next to mine. He said, "Wow, our arms are the same size now and I can see your muscles." But he did pinch my upper arm where my loose skin is and asked if that was going to go away......... Bittersweet........ but he noticed.......

[litldarlin 0]

Lisa, dont let the fact that nobody noticing that you have lost any weight discourage you at all. Just keep up the good work. I had my surgery in December 2007 and to date I have lost 105 pounds and have about 60 more to go. Nobody noticed my weight loss either until I lost about 50 pounds and started wearing tighter clothes that showed off my slimmer figure. Just keep up the good work, it will pay off in the long run.