Why am i not surprised that i am failing at this too.....

[kristi43 0]

its so funny, ya know, when i went to the information forum on this surgery i felt like this must be it! this must be the one thing in this world that will work for me. i thought about it for months before doing it. Wow, i felt like surely i could do this but still in the back of my mind i heard the voice that said "you will fail at this too". i dismissed it but it never went away. i was banded feb 28, 2008. i weighed 226 at surgery and weigh 207 now, 5 months later. where is the 7 pounds a month? that is not a very impressive number but i am grateful for the 19 pounds. i know all the rules and even know what i am doing wrong. i am at 7.4 in a 10cc band. sometimes i can eat okay but mostly i "productive burp" most of my meals up. i refuse to let out the band because i know what i will do. even if i am starving myself the weight will have to come off sooner or later. help me.....i think i need therapy. :thumbup:

[Naruto 0]

Therapy couldn't hurt...

Try it.

If you know what you are doing wrong, then make the decision to do it right.

[judeloren 0]

Hello, i am right there with you. I am about to the point where i want to be filled to the point where i can't eat anything... because i can't seem to stop myself from being bad... (in my opinion) I can't give up the breads... I am at 8 cc's in a 10 cc band and i feel very much like i am failing again. like i will never loose it

[kathw46 0]

I don't think that you are doing anything wrong--i have been told that weight loss can be 1-2 pounds a month, so you are right on target. BUT, I think you need therapy to so you will like yourself more! :thumbup:) You sound just like me, that everything is all my fault. I am undergoing the evaluation process for lapband surgery and have a lot of questions so I am no expert but I do know that when I felt like a failure, I binged. So the good news is, even though you feel badly about yourself you are not eating over it? good luck. BTW, not only am I in therapy but I also belong to Overeaters Anonymous and that has made me feel much better about myself so that I do not have to eat over my problems.

[mini_me 3]

ummmm...i dont think that 20 lbs in 8 months is bad at all. I lost only 17 lbs the first year and a half. i started out at 218. i just kept reminding myself that if i keep following the rules of the band, i will eventually see the results. Finally, after all those long, long months, the scales started moving. I lost 25 lbs the next year, and today, i have lost 63 lbs, and I have 20 to goal.

I think it is wayyyy too early to call yourself a failure. You need to give yourself and your body more time to work.

Just a note...my weight loss has stalled at all of the same points where my weight GAIN stalled as i was getting bigger. My first weight jump was in my late teens/early 20's when i went from 115-145, my second was in my mid 20's when i went to 160's, then in my late thirties, i went to 200, then after i turned 30, 210's.

I have plateau'd at 200, then i suddenly lost rapidly to 160's. i have stalled at 155. i am betting when i suddenly start losing again, i will plateau at 140-145, then i will lose to goal.

did that make sense?

did you spend a lot of time at your current weight at some time in your life?

[krtork 0]

Mini Me~ What an interesting explanation of your weight plateaus. It kind of makes sense when you think about it. It would be interesting to see how many people have had that same experience!

[BigBandFan 0]

i know all the rules and even know what i am doing wrong. i am at 7.4 in a 10cc band. sometimes i can eat okay but mostly i "productive burp" most of my meals up. i refuse to let out the band because i know what i will do. :thumbup:

Hey Kristi -

I was exactly where you are earlier in the week. But first I need to tell you something. My tracker is my TOTAL weight lost. Out of the total lost, only about 25 have been lost since banding. I was on jenny craig for a while until I decided on the band. I have NOT lost 60-something pounds since April.

Since banding, I'm fighting this battle one pound at a time. I may go to the scale and see a 5 pound drop, then the battle with myself begins. I spend the next week or two or three gaining and losing those 5 pounds. Ultimately, I win and then I see another drop. It's like the weight is battling me for control, I start beating myself up/going back to old habits...then somehow - usually something I've read here - jars me back to reality. The band is a tool and let's just say i'm not a master carpenter. I have the tool. I've read the manuals on how to use the tool. But, I'm stubborn and don't follow directions well. I'd rather learn by doing. So if i'm trying to build, say, a birdhouse mine may lopsided and have a few bent nails, but hopefully I'll complete it and some visually disabled birds will enjoy it.

So, I'm not like one of my co-workers who has lost 65lbs and was banded after me. I'm hoping that with each battle I have, I'm learning a piece of the big picture to keep the weight off.

My last fill put me at 8ccs in a 10cc band. did the liquid for a while, then mushies, then solids. like you I started having PBs with almost every meals. Then I read something on LBT where someone mentioned that when they were too tight they noticed that they ate only junk. Mostly because their favorite junk went down easier and maybe for self-soothing. That was me! I had pudding then some ice cream and finally my son gave me one of his peanut M&Ms. that was the easiet thing to eat 'cause it completely crumbled into tiny pieces when chewed. Plus it had peanuts which were Protein - right? But reading that post snapped me back out of the game playing with myself. I was wanting to keep the band too tight figuring that between not wanting to eat much and the PBs i'd lose weight...not following directions..sounds like me!! Anyway, I've had 2 ccs removed and am able to eat better. still having some PBs, but I think i got used to eating too fast again with my junk food. I'm going to see if things improve in the next week before i see about getting a little more taken out.

OMG - had no idea i talked that long...let me know how things are going with you. i'm going to work on my grocery list to get the house stocked with the good stuff again.

take care,

Amy

[lucyb 0]

You are describing my behavior exactly. Every time I get in the groove and the weight starts coming off, it's like it's going too well and I have to do something to sabotage myself. For every pound I lose I gain that and another one back and then I beat myself up for being such a weakling and then I eat something totally bad to console myself. It is such a vicious cycle! But all I can do is keep on trying, because I know if I don't, I will end up like my daughter's mother-in-law. She is so obese that she can hardly walk. She is only in her 50's but her knees are totally shot and when she goes to Walmart she has to stop and rest every few feet. At my heaviest ever (292) I had constant back pain and my feet hurt so bad at the end of the work day I had to hobble into the house when I got home. I know without a doubt that I was heading in the same direction as her. With every pound I lose, I get further from it. So even though I keep falling off the wagon, I keep getting up and getting back on. Good luck with your struggle, I know just how hard it is.

[cmeschke 0]

Kristi

I have been banded since 6/07 and went thru the same thing you are. I felt like a wasted my money but they after talking with a lot of people I realized at least I was losing. With out the band I would still be gaining. I realized to myself that it took me a life time to gain all this weight why am I in such a hurry to lose it all.

I have been banded for over a year and have lost a total of 65 pds and even though I have a long way to go I feel a whole lot better even after the first few pds. What I'm getting at is your loosing not gaining and that in itself is a hug success!!!!!!!!!!! Don't be so hard on yourself, if your like me you would have probably gained that much during that time w/o the band. We all have to learn how to use it and know our limits. We have a life time of bad eating habits (at least I did) and just because we have the band our brain still wants what its always wanted. Your losing weight be happy

[motherhen57 0]

I went for the initial consultation in July. I filled all the paper work out. I was ready to go. However, my doctor who referred me for the lapband procedure is now not my Primary Care doctor, and my new doctor who also agrees that this is what I need, does not have all my files for my insurance. It has been a hassle trying to get the nurse from my old doctor to get the info. to my new primary care physician. In the meantime I just wait.:bored: TriCare say's they will pay for the procedure as long as I have shown that it would benefit my health, and shown that I have tried other options. I have high blood pressure, am borderline diabetic, and have digenerative disc disease. I also have very large breasts which pull on my back and shoulders. I have headaches all the time from the pressure of the weight on my neck. I am a prek teacher and the up and down motion is hard on my knees, back and feet. I just want to get healthy. I have a 13 year old son and I want to be an active part in his life and I am slowing down too much. My doctor also believes that I may have sleep apnea, but I have not been tested. My husband say's I snore now quite loudly and sometimes he shakes me when he thinks I've stopped breathing. Just another thing to worry about. No one understands unless they've been through it themselves.:confused2: Unfortunatley, both of my sisters could also use this procedure, but one has Health Alliance and one has no insurance at all. It's frustrating because I don't eat a lot of sweets, in fact I don't eat a lot period, but I continue to gain. I am up to 282 now and am 5'3. I am tired and I hurt all the time. The doctor gave me paxil, because I was depressed about my weight, she didn't tell me that paxil sometimes makes you gain weight. Then I found out that the nortryptiline that I have been on since a car accident 5 years ago for vertigo, also makes you gain weight. No wonder I'm depressed. Both of my feet swell and my knees, the doctor thinks its because of the pressure of the weight on my joints. Hopefully I can get my first visit with my doctor and start on the road you are all on. Wish me luck!!!

[Bigb 0]

I understand where you are coming from. I had little success the first year. I lost about 40 between Jan and May of this year. On May 15 I had another fill to 9cc in a 10cc band and that changed it all. When I eat I definately get the signals to stop eating. I know that even with the signals being rather painful sometimes it is still hard to get up and walk away from the table. I have seen two different therapist and it helps. Cardio is the way to go.

[kristi43 0]

Thanks to everyone that responded to my thread. It makes me feel so empowered to have this website to talk because I know that we all struggle with the same problems. I love my band and I am grateful that I have it every day. I will continue to try everyday to become a better eater and I know that I will succeed. My 19 pounds lost has already made me feel better so things can only continue to get better.

[lucyb 0]

Thanks to everyone that responded to my thread. It makes me feel so empowered to have this website to talk because I know that we all struggle with the same problems. I love my band and I am grateful that I have it every day. I will continue to try everyday to become a better eater and I know that I will succeed. My 19 pounds lost has already made me feel better so things can only continue to get better.

Go Girl!!!!!

[jjsmiles 3]

Hi Kristi,

I really feel for you - you might want to consider getting some metabolic tests to make sure there is nothing wrong (i.e. thryroid) but I think you have answered your own question about why you aren't losing weight very quickly. YOU ARE TOO TIGHT!!!!!!!!

I must have read 1000 times on this forum about people who PB everything "real" that they try to eat, and guess what? They all say that they aren't losing weight. I have yet to read anyone saying "I can't eat anything, and I am losing weight at a great rate". I don't have any scientific proof, but it really seems that in order to lose weight, you do have to eat real food - go figure.

Is it because people are eating "slider" foods that are higher in fat and calories? Is it because they are sending their bodies into starvation mode and their bodies refuse to give up the weight? I really don't know.

You aren't doing yourself any favors by refusing to get a slight defill. The lap band is not intended to stop you from eating - it is intended to help you control your portion sizes.

Unfortunately for all of us, I have found that the battle to lose weight is almost entirely a "head battle". It sounds like you are panicing at the thought of being able to eat and then losing control of your eating again? Maybe it would be helpful to come up with a plan to help you address your problem times and food.

I know some really key strategies that have worked for me: 1. Document everything you eat, including quantities (do or don't count calories - at least you will have to honestly face up to what you are eating). A large study (posted on another thread here) has shown that people who write down what they eat lose 2 times the weight of others who don't.

2. Eat the way you plan to eat for the rest of your life, but make it sensible - it would probably help to make a daily calorie goal and try to stick to it. I know lots of people who say they refuse to diet, BUT if you eat the same way as before banding, just smaller quantities, I don't think you can expect to big a big, quick loser. Most of us got to be this large because of what we ate (quantity and quality).

I eat everything (including Cookies, chocolate and pizza), but I plan for it and eat in moderation. If I go out to eat, I try to think of what I am going to order before I go, so I make a sensible choice, rather than the bacon double cheeseburger with fries and gravy. I don't deny myself anything (just makes me want it more) - and if I go over my calorie goal for the day - so what? No big deal, I get back on the wagon tomorrow.

3. Add some kind of physical activity into your world - something you can commit to doing and enjoy as much as possible. Studies are showing that successful lapbanders have, for the most part, exercised.

I don't intend to sound preachy or mean, and I don't know your specific circumstances, but I tend to see red when I read about people who are in misery because they are too tight to eat real food. I know we are all different, and we can't compare one person to another, but the nature of these forums forces us to in many ways.

Take my info for what it is worth - something or nothing - just my own 2 cents worth.

By the way - I can eat anything as long as I am careful in chewing. I can eat large quantities by lap band standards (3-4 oz of meat, 1 cup of veggies for dinner). I have lost 154 pounds (including loss before lap band) in the last 14 months. I have been superly morbidly obese my entire adult life and obese since early childhood. I would consider myself one of the "hardest" cases out there. If I can do it, anyone can.

Good luck