Just told my mother

[flower 2]

Well I just told my mother about the surgery i'm getting next week of course she freaked and made me so sad she's crying i'm crying i am very emotional now this is so hard i'm 41 and still feel like a little kid telling my mom shes such a wreck now but i felt I had to tell her after all she is my mother she has a right to know having so many mixed emotions I hope this is all worth it my ultimate goal is better health feeling better about myself and having new self esteem which I seriously lack always thinking everyone is better skinnier prettier so many emotions sorry to unload on you guys thanks for being there I love lbt thanks

[Eileenja 0]

I am so sorry that she took it so hard. Just remember, you are an adult and you have the right to do what you feel is necessary. Like you said you ultimate goal is better health - that's just the point!

[hopetobebanded 0]

I completely know what you are going through. I was terrified of telling my mom especially since I will be going out of the country (Mexico). My mom completely freaked out but then surprisingly she warmed up to the idea. She now tells me "I want you to feel good about yourself and your health is so important". She now supports me in my decision and offered to come with me if my husband can't.

Just give your mom some time to warm up to the idea.

Just remember...your health and happiness are so important especially when people bring you down.

Best wishes!

[pati-o 6]

I told my mom I was going- two days before I was leaving to go from Michigan to San Diego and then on to Tijuana. I lied to my mom- I told her I was having my surgery in San Diego because it was cheapest there. I still feel bad that I didn't tell the truth- my mom would be SO upset if she knew I went to Mexico.

[giveyouthemoon 4]

Sweetie, if I may ask...why was your mom so upset? What were her reasons? I guess I'm a bit surprised that she'd be upset like that and not happy that this is the most amazing thing you can do for yourself.

What you are doing is such a life affirming, positive thing!

I'm so sorry that this was so hard on you. Don't doubt yourself or your choices. Be strong. This is but one of the many bumps in your amazing road ahead. You believing in yourself first and foremost will carry you through any storm.

[Eileenja 0]

That is exactly why i didn't tell my mom until AFTER the surgery. When I told her about it when i got home she said that she was glad that I did it that way, so she didn't have to worry - and believe me - should would have!

[lins12 0]

I told my Mom on Friday. I had no intention of telling her that I was going but through various circumstances I ended up spilling the Beans. It was AWFUL. She cried...I cried. It has made me miserable since Friday but I am finally in a better place about it. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND your feelings. And, although I hate that people have to got through it too I am glad to know that I am not alone.

I had my final conversation with my Mom a few hourse ago before I leave for the airport in the morning. She sounded better. She still sounded upset but better than hysterical.

I keep thinking that this is for the best. And I told her that I could not wait to tell her "I told you soon". I hope it is soon. I told my Mom that I could cancel the surgery but that I would be doing it for her, not for myself.

I too am going to Mexico. Feel free to PM me.

Best of luck to all of us!

[Eileenja 0]

Good luck - I can't wait to hear that you told your mom "I told you so"!

[2bthin 0]

Okay, guys. I think I'm gonna rot in hell. I just got off the phone with my dear 87 year old daddy and when he asked, "what's up?" I said, "nothing much," changed the subject and then towards the end of our conversation told him that DH and I are going away for a couple of days and that I'd give him a call when I returned. I prayed that he didn't ask where we were going, because I didn't want to tell him MEHICO, because he would have gone on and on about the "frito banditos" (my deceased mother used that term) and how I would have to be careful and for me to call him when I returned (and I will anyway), but he will make me feel guilty about not being totally up front with him about what I was doing. It is so difficult, even after all these years, not to be totally honest with him. grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Joan waiting

2Bthin

[KarenB 0]

I told my mom 6 months later! She's such a worry-wort & I can't take hearing "I was up all night worring about you". She shocked me by saying that after seeing all that goes on here in U.S. hospitals, she wasn't fazed at all. Now I don't know how she would have reacted before, but that's why I told her later. Also, she was supportive when I told her I was taking my daughter (her granddaughter) to be banded also. Go figure.

Flower, I promise you it will be o.k. Maybe we should give her my mom's phone #. We're here for you. Let us know what's happening.

[Jammin & Losin 1]

Flower~I can deffinatly understand how you feel about telling your mom and her being upset except the person I had a problem with my mother in law. I called and told her after I had scheduled the surgery date and only about 3 weeks before . Her reply was well thanks alot for including us in this decision you have made on your own!!!! I went off!!! I told her that this was a decision that only I my self could make and that I was including her in "MY" decision and that I felt she should know what that decision was but that I didn't want to try and explain what I was doing until I had decided for my self! I wanted no one elses opinion to keep me from doing what I felt was best for me. She said well I know I'm not your mother but you should have told me sooner. Anyway she got over it but has since made a few coments pointing out that I should have said something sooner and that she just hopes I don't have problems later and that she hopes I made the right desision. Well anyway we are going to see her in a couple weeks and I hope she will say SOMETHING positive about the 40 pounds I've lost since researching and getting banded!!

I just don't think that some people understand how hard it is to make a decision to have WLS unless they are in you shoes!!!

[porclndoll 0]

Wow you guys..I am so sorry that your parents couldn't have been more supportive in the beginning. My mom was a little queezy over the thought, she faints at the sight of blood, but she understood my reasonings, therefore was supportive. My father, holy cow...he has HIJACKED the band wagon! He is sooo supportive it isn't funny. He is all the way down in Florida and has been more support than any two people here in New York! He has mailed me GOOD LUCK AND ENCOURAGMENT greeting cards, one every day!! He emails me Daily Inspirationals....he is just amazing! I am going to see him in July. He hasn't seen me since the banding. He is going to flip out! He has also offered what ever financial support I have needed in regard to my surgery....PLUS he has set up a fund for a shopping adventure for when I need a whole new wardrobe!! Some people have retirement funds, I have a shopping fund! ehehehe He has been online, researching, and finding out stuff...He researched my surgeon. He said, "Hope, I wouldn't have let you go ahead with it if I didn't think it was safe, and this is the BEST thing you could do for yourself....by the way, I think its the ONLY thing you have ever done for yourself!" My husband isn't even as supportive! I don't know where I would be if it weren't for my Dad.....(sideline here...I was always a Daddys girl...still am!!!) If any of you need "parental support" i will pass along your email addys to my dad....he has enough umph for everyone!!! Fiesty Italian!!!:banana

[vinesqueen 2]

I never did tell my mother for fear that it would turn into drama city. My older sister, whom I swore to screcracy, told.

The surprizing thing is that my mother has been completely suportive of me and the band. I'm sure that part of it is that she's seen what great results my DH has had.

But I now know that my sister is a blabber mouth!

[Connie 0]

I have just recently started researching, I have not had the surgery yet. I was afraid to tell my mom, because I did not think she would be supportive. I really thought she would freak out. She ended up telling me that she thought I should do it. I have tried everything else and nothing has worked. I have arthritis so bad in one knee that I can hardly walk. I am glad that she is so supportive because any doubt I had was wiped away and now I know I am doing the right thing. I think it is a natural reaction for anyone who loves you to worry to some degree. Maybe she has only heard "bad" stories regarding WLS. I am sure she will be supportive of you in the long run - it is just a lot to take in. I wish you luck!

[Jen 0]

My mother has been the supportive one. She's been wonderful and is going to help me with the testing and the hospital stuff- then take care of me after. It is my dad who isn't supportive. He thinks I should just eat better and excersize - RIGHT! Gotta lovethat from someone whohas never even had a weight problem in his whole thin life! He hasn't said anything negative or anything just that he thinks I should just grit my teeth and loose the wight. "he knows I can do if I just set my mind to it" NICE! Anyhow, I was nervous about telling thm, and I thought the support factor would go the other way, but now I see that my mom has a better understanding of how hard things have been for me for the last few years.

Jen

to be banded June 16th!!