Feeling hopeless

[Ricky 6]

Hi..

I was banded just over 4 months ago...I kept going in for fills (mind you my Dr is almost 4 hours away) and then on my 4th fill my Dr realized something was wrong...to make a long story short..my tube had completely disconnected from my band. He had to put me to sleep to go fishing for it and reconnect it...

He put 4ccs in after reconnecting it, and then had another fill yesterday for a total of 5.5..I have the 10cc Realize band...

I still feel nothing!! I had lost 20lbs on the postop diet and have refound 10 of them...I desperately want restriction!!

This entire series of events...fill after fill...surgery again...another fill..

has really taken a toll on me and my family...

I had been so hopeful and excited about this and now I am so depressed.

I have never been quite like this...I really don't want to leave the house, I am so terribly ashamed of myself...I hate my size 20 clothes...I do not love myself like this and have been questioning my husband daily how he can love me...

Sorry, this got long....Not many people supported me in this decision, so I don't feel that I can talk to anyone about the complications I have been having...thank you for reading and letting me vent..

Erika:crying:

[Ricky 6]

Thank you Jack..that is exactly what I need to do...

I need to settle down and defeat the dragon of self pity..

[pmcfarm 0]

You indicated you didn't have support for your decision...thank you for trusting us enough to share your pain and frustration. Know that we will always be here for you. You can make your band tool your friend...remember while you are doing this for you, your family will benefit also. Have a blessed day...each day is a wonderful new beginning. MarilynC

[MollyBrown 0]

Nortone,

I am struggling too... 10 months out and have only lost 34ish pounds.

I am not exactly depressed, but more disappointed in myself. I try to stay positive though and continue to try and figure this thing out. I have had some problems (no restriction, potential leak, hard to find port, sucky job). All excuses though, keeping me from being 100% accountable for what I am sticking in my mouth.

Keep the faith. Start each day with new resolve, and pray that you can stick with it longer or better then the day before.

Good luck and my prayers are with you, me and all those who are struggling....

[Ricky 6]

I too have had a difficult to access port...

I am going in again in 2 weeks for another fill...so hopefully I will feel something this time!!!

Doing any better??

[Sades 4]

It's not easy Erika when there's a hiccup with the band. I had to be rebanded in July and I have to say I am having a hard time staying motivated this time around. I guess we just have to hang in there until we find a way to get back on track.

[MollyBrown 0]

I always feel good about life, just not my weight, and sometimes I let the weight creep into the other parts of my life. That stinks....

Anyway, I am not doing any better with my diet. I have eaten healthfully, but just to much, so I am not losing any weight. The thing that gets me is I work so hard to have lots of good Protein (meat and other), good and Vitamin rich fruits and veggies. But every day something throws me just off track enough that my calories go up to 1700-1900 and I don't lose weight (but I am happy I am not gaining either).

I just wish I could stop undermining myself. I have started talking in my head a little when I get the urge for a couple pieces of chocolate, stuff like, you don't need that crap, that stuff is really bad for you, it is poison.... It has worked a little bit, but last night I totally blew a great day by binging on chocolate when I was trapped at work until 9:30pm with no decent food, after a 12.5 hour day.

Anyway, it is a new day....

[MollyBrown 0]

One other thing too... I am telecommuting today so I will eat healthy (there is nothing bad in the house)... Anyway, my friend, who went to the band informational seminar with me, chose not to be banded and started on Optifast in April. She has lost 51 lbs so far. I gotta say, I am a little pissed...

Now granted, I eat like a normal person, where she is in the diet now, she eats one normal meal a day and drinks the rest, and she had a much higher BMI then I had, but still....

I really am happy for her, just sad for me......

[BayCityBandster 1]

Nortone, I feel for you...I have almost no restriction at 6cc/14cc band. I hope you get on track now and find your success!

[Kennedy Conway 0]

Hi..

I was banded just over 4 months ago...I kept going in for fills (mind you my Dr is almost 4 hours away) and then on my 4th fill my Dr realized something was wrong...to make a long story short..my tube had completely disconnected from my band. He had to put me to sleep to go fishing for it and reconnect it...

He put 4ccs in after reconnecting it, and then had another fill yesterday for a total of 5.5..I have the 10cc Realize band...

I still feel nothing!! I had lost 20lbs on the postop diet and have refound 10 of them...I desperately want restriction!!

This entire series of events...fill after fill...surgery again...another fill..

has really taken a toll on me and my family...

I had been so hopeful and excited about this and now I am so depressed.

I have never been quite like this...I really don't want to leave the house, I am so terribly ashamed of myself...I hate my size 20 clothes...I do not love myself like this and have been questioning my husband daily how he can love me...

Sorry, this got long....Not many people supported me in this decision, so I don't feel that I can talk to anyone about the complications I have been having...thank you for reading and letting me vent..

Erika:crying:

You have my very best wishes. As long as there is breath, there is hope. Don't give up. When you're 'walking through Hell, don't stop walking.'