Sabotaging myself...not sure I can get over this hump

[gwhite 0]

I don't post very often but I lirk on this board all of this time.

Its been a little over a year since I got my band and I LOVE it. In fact if it wasn't for the band I'm sure I'd weigh a heck of a lot more but that's not really my issue right now...

About 2 1/2 months ago I hurt my foot badly exercising...in the same month my husband and I split....I've been so stressed about things (being single again, finances, and putting myself back on the market someday). I've gained and lost the same 4 pounds (this is even after a fill last month). So far I've lost about 65lbs. but I have so much more to go.

So here is the thing...I've been talking with my therapist a lot about this...I know what I need to do to get back to losing....I just don't know why mentally I can't get to it. I'm at the smallest weight I can remember in a long time...and I'm scared to go smaller (is that strange or what???) I was supposed to go back to see my surgeon and have put off the follow-up visit because I know I haven't lost anything since the fill and I'm too embarrassed to tell him why I haven't been following the bandster rules completely.

Oh what is wrong with me....I still think this band thing is the best thing ever!!! and I know the only way its going to work is if I work it!....ugh

Edited August 7, 2008 by gwhite

[leknigh 0]

Hi there - I am newly banded, so I can't speak to having issues with losing weight at this point - but I can hopefully give you a little encouragement. Throughout the process of preparing for, and having, the surgery - I've learned that when it comes to my health, pride/embarrasment are best pushed aside. Without my health, the pride/emabrrasment won't exist anyway, right?

Remember that Doctors/surgeons have seen just about everything, and you certainly will not be the first/last/only person to have gained weight, or to not have lost any additional weight since having a fill. You are going through lots of big changes in your life, and the last thing you should do is throw away all the hard work you put into your 65 lbs. weight loss (fantastic by the way!).

So the best thing you can do for yourself is to get back on track with your follow-up appointments, and just be up front with the medical team. If there are support groups you can attend with other bandsters - do it. Keep posting on here of course too, just talk it out. I know you will find you're not alone, and that your doctor/dieticians are there to help! Please don't give up, you can do it!! :thumbup:

[Kissmygrits 0]

Don't beat yourself up. Look- we have issues! All of us bandsters do, and nobody knows more than we do how frustrating it is to discover that this band really can't fix any of those head problems we had that led to our weight issues in the first place. Hello--we needed surgery to lose weight. That in and of itself speaks volumes!

I say all that to say- we all struggle with this. Even banded, I do stuff I know is counterproductive. I just ate some cake. Lord knows I didn't need it! I wasn't even hungry, to top that off! But I have issues and the band doesn't fix that. I truly believe that this band helps us to at least be more aware of what we're doing so that even though we're not perfect, we let our weaknesses get the better of us LESS than they did before. That's the lifestyle change we have to work on every day.

When I go through a self-sabatoging period, I try to remind myself of the following to get past it and back onto the weight loss road:

1) all the money and effort that went into getting this band and how I don't want to mess that opportunity up

2) I'm not perfect so when I mess up, I forgive myself and try to do better the next time

3) how even though it doesn't seem like it, I actually do have control over what I do. Nobody can force me to eat- I have to make that decision.

Big hug!

[Melody2006 1]

Remember that Doctors/surgeons have seen just about everything, and you certainly will not be the first/last/only person to have gained weight, or to not have lost any additional weight since having a fill.

I work at the hospital I got banded at. My friend is the nurse coordinator for the bariactric center and she said they see those situations all the time.

The moral of the story is start again with a fill and do what you have to do for you.

[areellady 1]

Awe, bless you heart!!!! You have had a lot to deal with this last year!!!! It is amazing how stress can and does affect our bodies. You need to do this for you, dear!!! This is about you and being healthy, for YOU!!!! You can do this!!!! Start keeping track of what your eating and maybe that will help you see all the bad things you are putting in your body!!! Good luck to you!!!

[jelbel 0]

Tell your doctor the truth,he'll understand. This happens all the time and during this time of year it's hard to lose weight,the economy,your separation... It's a lot!

Start again, we all go through this.