'registering' for birthday gifts??

[TheGh0st 9]

Leslie, kudos for being "brave" enough to share that you have used these lists. Honestly I've considered it before myself. I get what the others are saying about it appearing rude or materialistic, but I get tired of having to either return duplicate presents for my son or worse like the other poster said those that I can't return as they were already opened but never get used.

We have a fairly large extended family even more so with divorces and remarriages and its hard to come up with a list that is long enough to parcel out bits and pieces to all the different people who will call and ask for ideas. Our son just doesn't need that many things. The list either ends up so small I'm practically telling each person exactly what one item to buy or I end up giving a few the same suggestions and invariably get two or even three of the same item.

Having a registry with a selection of sensibly priced items ranging from clothes, necessities to toys & educational items seems like a pretty good idea to me. Assuming the relatives are open to the idea. I don't think I would just send it out unrequested to everyone on a birthday guest list. And it wouldn't be a big deal to me if they just used it as a starting point and purchased something off the list that they though my DS would like. But it would be nice to have available for those that are always calling for ideas.

The one that burns me the most is when my MIL (who believe it or not I love) will call me up with some idea she has for a present for my son asking if I approve. But in all reality she has no intention of listening to my response and just forges ahead anyway.

For example I live in a neighborhood with no sidewalks and too much traffic for a 4 year old to play in the street even supervised and yet she insisted on buying him a big wheel for Christmas even after I gently pointed out he would have NOWHERE to ride it. So here it sits never used. Worse, my son loves the idea of it and frequently laments (OK Whines) over his not having anywhere to ride it.

UHGHH! I know she meant well but how inconsiderate is it to buy something you KNOW isn't appropriate and put the parents in the position of dealing with an upset child? I'm not saying she didn't have a good idea. It just wasn't feasable in our situation and yet she was completely unwilling to listen to reason even though she asked for our opinion before buying. Honestly that's what bugs me the most. If you have no intention of changing your mind on what you are going to buy then don't ask the parents opinion!

Oh and back to the list idea. Like I said we don't need many materialistic things, so I'm always trying to encourage the family to think outside of the box and give them suggestions of presents that you wouldn't buy in the store like a "gift" of a Picnic in the Park with Granny (or Cousin/Aunt/"Fill in the Blank") Or a day at the Zoo, or baking Cookies together. My son would get more pleasure and long term memories from any variation of the above than he would a new toy robot, pirate ship or dare I say it Game Boy.

[JaimeSTL 4]

Oh and back to the list idea. Like I said we don't need many materialistic things, so I'm always trying to encourage the family to think outside of the box and give them suggestions of presents that you wouldn't buy in the store like a "gift" of a Picnic in the Park with Granny (or Cousin/Aunt/"Fill in the Blank") Or a day at the Zoo, or baking Cookies together. My son would get more pleasure and long term memories from any variation of the above than he would a new toy robot, pirate ship or dare I say it Game Boy.

Every Christmas and birthday for the last, oh 5 years or so, I've had my mother in law pass on to her family that the kids would love a membership at the zoo or the local children's museum. Have they done it? Nope. It would be so much more useful to us than more toys. Our house looks like Toys R Us puked.

[TheGh0st 9]

Boy, do I know what you mean. My son is turning 5 in a little over a month and I'm having a hard time looking forward to it because all I can think about is how much junk he already has cluttering up his room and the family room. And that is after already selling a huge chunk of it off at a garage sale earlier this summer. I'm seriously thinking of setting 1 or 2 large plastic tubs in the middle of the room (1 for his bedroom and one for the TV room) and telling him he can only keep what he can fit in the containers.

I know it may sound harsh, especially at his age but when we did the garage sale earlier this summer it actually went pretty smoothly after I explained that the toys we were selling might help some mommy or daddy give there son a toy to play with that they wouldn't have been able to afford at the store. We live in an "oasis" in the middle of an urban area so even at his age he has a small understanding of the concept of parents not having enough money to get things they need or want for their children.

OK so I also bribed him with the idea that some of the money he made from the garage sale would go towards a fun day out of his choosing and some ice cream but 2 months later it is the fact he helped give another boy a toy to play with that he remembers and tells his grandparents, not the icecream.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

I know what you both mean. My kids have too much. I don't personally spoil them, but the "grandparents" go way overboard! DH seems to think they have to have a pile of toys at Christmas. I just wanna smack him sometimes...love him...but seriously? What kind of an example is that? Give them everything and they have to work for nothing?

They are only 6 and 8 and HATE to clean their rooms. HATE it with passion. It's WWIII at my house on the weekends. Heaven forbid they have to pick up something they've played with. I guess I have spoiled them by doing too much for them. I'm about at my breaking point. I guess when I was a lot heavier - I didn't care. I really didn't. The whole house is a mess. Now that I"m taking care of myself - I have higher standards. I feel I've already messed up and not taught them things earlier. Like cleaning up and picking up. Especially my eight year old. she claims she doesn't know how...that ticks me off most of all. It is all clothes and toys too. I really need to have a cleaning fest and donate some of the toys to the red cross! it's too much!

[JaimeSTL 4]

They are only 6 and 8 and HATE to clean their rooms. HATE it with passion. It's WWIII at my house on the weekends. Heaven forbid they have to pick up something they've played with. I guess I have spoiled them by doing too much for them. I'm about at my breaking point. I guess when I was a lot heavier - I didn't care. I really didn't. The whole house is a mess. Now that I"m taking care of myself - I have higher standards. I feel I've already messed up and not taught them things earlier. Like cleaning up and picking up. Especially my eight year old. she claims she doesn't know how...that ticks me off most of all. It is all clothes and toys too. I really need to have a cleaning fest and donate some of the toys to the red cross! it's too much!

That sounds like my kids. They are 5 and 7. Before I lost weight, I just never felt like doing ANYthing, including cleaning. I mean, when my kids saw me cooking recently, they were like, Mommy, can you really cook? LOL I kind of felt badly, but it was also kind of funny. Anyway, they hate cleaning, argue all the time, and just make me nuts. I'm ready to put everything in trash bags and give it all to Goodwill.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

That sounds like my kids. They are 5 and 7. Before I lost weight, I just never felt like doing ANYthing, including cleaning. I mean, when my kids saw me cooking recently, they were like, Mommy, can you really cook? LOL I kind of felt badly, but it was also kind of funny. Anyway, they hate cleaning, argue all the time, and just make me nuts. I'm ready to put everything in trash bags and give it all to Goodwill.

Amen! And you sound just like me. LOL...I laugh because my kids said the same thing the other night about cooking. I clean and they just look at me like I've been taken over by body snatchers. DH even asks if I am okay.

[Kat817 19]

Ghost---as least your MIL asks about what she should give them, mine got me a couple of times before I wised up! She would ask me point blank what we were gettting for the kids. I thought she ask so she could buy along the same lines. For instance the first time she ask, I told her we were buying my DD a play kitchen, and suggested that she could do pots & pans, or toy food or something. The next morning, she called to tell me about the kitchen she found on sale, so she just bought it! I let it slide that time, thinking, she did find it on sale, and give her the benefit of the doubt. When we ask her if she would let us store bikes for the kids for Christmas at her house----she said she had already planned to buy them so it would not be an issue, and she DID buy them. The next time she ask, I was BLUNT! I told her "nope you are not taking my gift ideas this time"....and laughed. Made me furious!!!!!

As for the tubs/totes----they really are a good idea! But instead of just getting one, get 2----and fill them up, and then rotate them, keeps the kids interested in the toys, and gives you an opportunity to clean up the broken ones or the happy meal junk toys more frequently. And when you change out the totes, they are all excited to see the new toys! My kids b-days run in Sept,. Oct. & Nov. then follows Christmas! So we did a winter box and a summer box, and I changed them out about April or May.

Good Luck as you manuever around the mounds of toys!!!

We have even quit giving our grown kids 'things' we now buy them concert tickets, or a weekend retreat....once we rented them a houseboat for the weekend as a couple gift. If we had bought them another shirt or something, they never would have remembered it---these things they remember. When the grandkids are old enough, I will definitely try to do something besides the 'things' for them too. Would love to hear ideas any of you have for that!!!

Kat

[green 6]

Give the kid a tattoo.

[Kat817 19]

Oh green I have missed you and your special brand of humor soooo much!!

You doing ok?

I have hated to pry----but thrilled to see you here again!!!

Kat

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

We have even quit giving our grown kids 'things' we now buy them concert tickets, or a weekend retreat....once we rented them a houseboat for the weekend as a couple gift. If we had bought them another shirt or something, they never would have remembered it---these things they remember. When the grandkids are old enough, I will definitely try to do something besides the 'things' for them too. Would love to hear ideas any of you have for that!!!

Kat

We got our kids season tickets to the local Aquarium. They love it! Do ya'll have something like that where ou live?

We're thinking of getting them fishing poles and taking them one weekend to a catfish pond along with a picnic lunch.

As part of their Christmas this coming year - we're going to get tickets to Wild Adventures as their BIG gift from mom and dad. Daily tickets are around $50.00 (for one trip per person), annual are $70.00. That includes a huge zoo, Water park and amusement park. They have snow days in winter too. It is something we can use year round and we can spend time together. The park is in Valdosta (about a hours drive from us), so I think it would be worth the money.

[nina874 48]

PMSL @ Green!!!

[Telecia 1]

People always ask me what my kids want so they have wish lists I can send to people when they ask. But you should never include it in an invitation. That's bad manners.

I agree!! Buying for anyone can be a daunting task anymore. And having a *wish list* available to me is a great Idea. But sending it out in the invitations just smacks of greed.

There have been many times I have wanted a wish list and ended up settling for $ in a card when I really would have rather got the kid something but having been the parent who has seen there kids get ill fitting gifts I would much rather see the kid get something they at least like or will use. Then gifts they won't.

I been eyeballing the ITunes cards I keep seeing in the check out line at Walmart, considering to start getting a card or two and putting them back for xmas.

For xmas I always tell my kids to make me a list of things they would like. But NOT TO expect exactly everything on their list. And that the list gives me Ideas of what to get, what they actually get is dependant on how much I can afford to spend.

[green 6]

Oh green I have missed you and your special brand of humor soooo much!!

You doing ok?

I have hated to pry----but thrilled to see you here again!!!

Kat

Hi to Kat and to the rest of you. Here is my update. I have only one more chemo session to endure and that will take place at the end of this month. Most of my hair is gone. I now look like the actor William Hurt but I expect my final chemo session will take care of that. Then I will be Mister Ms. Green. Good thing I look good in headgear because I sure look crappy in short hair and I don't expect the bald look is gonna suit.

My last scan showed that my stage 3 tumor has now disappeared. This is wonderful news for me, and everybody but me is super-excited. I still feel too sick and too weak to get excited over anything. Indeed this past month and a half have been really rough on me. Those treatments are destroying of more than just the cancerous tissues.

Cancer is very slimming: I now weigh 113 lbs and that is with trying to gain weight! Go figure, eh. The last time I weighed this little was when I was a preteen. Two years ago I hadn't yet been banded and I weighed 200 lbs. What a lot has gone on since then....

Anyhow, I have found myself thinking often of you, Kat, as you have already gone through the same kinds of trials and tribulations that I am now going through. You are a real champion, grrl. (I am beginning to think that I am one, too, eh. This cancer stuff sure ain't easy.)

[TheGh0st 9]

Green - thanks so much for the update. I've been thinking of you often. Glad to hear the tumor appears gone, hopefully you will be feeling more like celebrating soon.

Until then your friends and family will just have to the celebrating for you.

Edited August 20, 2008 by TheGh0st

[Kat817 19]

It ain't easy, and it ain't for sissies!!! But you are beating it green I know it! Yep I too lost my hair, ALL of it! actually used duct tape and pulled the last wisps when it come to that, but my eyelashes, brows, pubic hair, all of it was gone. You will find you sneeze 20X as much without those little hairs to filter what you breath!

Have you regained any taste? I have worried about that!!! It really makes me wonder about the weight loss, now I was not at my heaviest when I dealt with it, but overall I only lost about 24 pounds----and as my health returned so did they in force! I know as the fatigue and nausea eases, you will probably be able to take in more nutrition----but wow 113 pounds. What a crappy way to get there! I am sure the loss of taste and the location of the cancer has had your loss so much more.

I know all about not being one of the fashionistas who actually go around bald. I am not positive of this, but seriousy suspect one of my parents dropped me as an infant!! I have a totally flat spot on my head! Right at the top where the whorl of hair is it is flat, as big as your palm. With hair, no one would ever know---without? I look like the joke about the perfect woman!!!!!! I did bandannas, caps, had a wig, but the bitch itched like nothing else!!! My DD would draw on eyebrows for me! I think she liked making me look surprised---kinda like Whoopi Goldberg---her not having eyebrows she always looks surprised to me!

SOOOOOOOO glad to hear from you green----I will let the thread go back now. Stay strong! ((((((BIG HUGS))))))

Kat