Feeling like a Fraud

[Strosfan99 0]

I can relate to everthing you are saying! I was banded on 7/24 and have lost 15lbs. I was hoping for so much more by this date and when I went to the doctor on Tuesday and seen I was only down by 15lbs I was completely discouraged! I followed all the rules and ate what I was told, no cheating.

Through all of this I have had major cravings for weird things, like you or someone else said even Long John Silvers and I never go there either, I think it is just a craving for fried food. I have had some really bad days, days where I have just cried about all the foods I can't have or shouldn't. I told my husband one day that if this was any other diet program that that would be the day I cheat and ruin it all. I am the type of person that once I cheat and don't follow the rules it is over! After that I will never be truly dedicated again, at least until the next diet comes along. I guess that is why no other diet has worked for me.

I have been wondering if I was the only one that was just hanging around the house crying over all the things I couldn't eat. I am so glad to read all these posts today it is exactly what I needed to hear, that there are others out there just as messed up about food as I am. I get so angry at myself for sitting around mourning food, I just feel ridiculous about it. I am glad to hear that it is pretty normal, Hey, I am NORMAL!! I haven't thought that about myself in a long time much less said it out loud.

I plan to attend two support groups this month, hopefully that will help.

Has anyone else been experiencing some depression over being so different when it comes to food? I have not been out in a public situation since my surgery just because I don't want to feel like the freak at the table that can't eat certain things or can't eat much. I don't want to battle the questions, with people that don't know I have had the surgery, at the table in the middle of a restaurant. Is that something that will pass in time? Has anyone else felt this way?

[kaytiebugs 0]

Were you self pay?

This is why docs make you go to all of those appointments and make the process like two or three or more months long.... so people don't jump in unprepared and not quite ready to do things the way they need to be done.

[Strosfan99 0]

Were you self pay?

This is why docs make you go to all of those appointments and make the process like two or three or more months long.... so people don't jump in unprepared and not quite ready to do things the way they need to be done.

Please don't take this the wrong way or as an attack, But that is a very unkind and judgemental statement to make! I don't care how much counseling you have before LapBand once it is done and the realization sets in, all that other crap goes out the window and you are left sitting on your couch wondering if what you did was the right decision and in the next moment thinking this was the best thing you have ever purchased.

I was self pay and I also considered this surgery for over a year before I actually took the leap. I think that I thought this out from every angle BUT nothing prepared me for the emotions that came after surgery. Even though I was told a lot of info about the surgery and other misc things, nothing prepares someone for reality as well as reality does!!

I would never give back my band, I think it is the best tool in my weight loss journey that I have ever bought. BUT I have days just like everyone else on this site that my mind really starts playing tricks on me. Random thoughts, random cravings!!

I noticed that you are not banded yet? I would like to hear your thoughts after being banded. I think that I was just like you before being banded, feeling like I have thought through every aspect and emotion that I could have and feeling that I have prepared myself enough for this surgery and the feeling that this is absolutely what I need to succeed in weight loss. And once the surgery was over I have had a few days that I have thought "OMG What have I done", and in the same day I realize that it is just cravings, or loneliness, making me feel that way, or just everyday life, not the band. And some days, I can only make it through the day by reciting my favorite quote, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!" And other days I think "Wow, I have lost 15lbs, and I feel great!" "This band is rockin'!"

[Melisa1 0]

Hi Sue~Im hoping to have the surgery asap. Monday i see the nutritionist, then have all the necessary testing done, see the surgeon and submit to insurance for approval. Hopefully everything goes well. I just had an upper GI and they discovered i have acid reflux (gird)? dont know if that is a co morbidity or not. anyways my bmi is between 40-41. I think i will be ok for insurance purposes and then if they find anything more like sleep apnea or anything else...that will help. Im keeping my fingers crossed!!

[dixiedoo 0]

I can relate to everthing you are saying! I was banded on 7/24 and have lost 15lbs. I was hoping for so much more by this date and when I went to the doctor on Tuesday and seen I was only down by 15lbs I was completely discouraged! I followed all the rules and ate what I was told, no cheating.

Through all of this I have had major cravings for weird things, like you or someone else said even Long John Silvers and I never go there either, I think it is just a craving for fried food. I have had some really bad days, days where I have just cried about all the foods I can't have or shouldn't. I told my husband one day that if this was any other diet program that that would be the day I cheat and ruin it all. I am the type of person that once I cheat and don't follow the rules it is over! After that I will never be truly dedicated again, at least until the next diet comes along. I guess that is why no other diet has worked for me.

I have been wondering if I was the only one that was just hanging around the house crying over all the things I couldn't eat. I am so glad to read all these posts today it is exactly what I needed to hear, that there are others out there just as messed up about food as I am. I get so angry at myself for sitting around mourning food, I just feel ridiculous about it. I am glad to hear that it is pretty normal, Hey, I am NORMAL!! I haven't thought that about myself in a long time much less said it out loud.

I plan to attend two support groups this month, hopefully that will help.

Has anyone else been experiencing some depression over being so different when it comes to food? I have not been out in a public situation since my surgery just because I don't want to feel like the freak at the table that can't eat certain things or can't eat much. I don't want to battle the questions, with people that don't know I have had the surgery, at the table in the middle of a restaurant. Is that something that will pass in time? Has anyone else felt this way?

Just think how well everything is going!! If you hadn't been banded what would you weigh now? scale up or the same? If you're like me very probably NOT down - and surely not 15 lbs already!!!:ohmy: It is really good we have this place to honestly talk openly about our feelings toward food. I suspect the mourning of food is different for everybody - really like losing something a part of us. Maybe this is the way we will have a healthier relationship with food - being really conscious of it. I've gotta tell you, this past week on Optifast and veggies have opened my eyes. I never really thought (admitted ) that my problem was the way I ate but man oh man I am realizing just how often and when I would normally have a nibble. Sorry for the long post. I have trouble expressing my feelings in a "short" way.

[ShrinkyDink 0]

At least for me, and I suspect for a lot of you, food is more of a compulsion than a choice. I think that's what got us to the point where we needed help to control it. When I get something in my mind that I want, I WANT it and usually can't let it go until I have it. I've been controlling that pretty well on the preop diet because it's a short period with a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm very worried about that feeling after surgery. I know I will be where you girls are, very emotional about what I can't have. My brain tells me 'that's silly, it's just food, eat something else', but something else in me wants what I'm craving so badly I can't be logical about it. I'm hoping that by fighting through this a few times it will get better, for me and for all of you. Giant hugs all around, we can do this!

[clickersister 0]

I haven't been banded yet but I'm already trying to eat like a bandster by taking tiny bites and chewing thoroughly. I'm starting to get a little worried, though. I usually eat healthy, and I usually only eat about half of what everyone else does. I never get a large sandwich or extras like cheese fries with a meal. Last night we ate out and I had a small salad, 1/2 baked potato and 1/2 of a 10 oz. steak. This is typical for me!!!!!! How did I get 100 pounds overweight?????? I used to have an ice cream addiction, eating about 1 to 1 1/2 cups every night, but I kicked that over a year ago. My dh and I talk about it all the time and can't understand. Will I lose weight with the band?

[Melisa1 0]

Yes you will def loose weight with the band. The band is a tool to help restrict you. As long as you go by the dr orders strictly and have your fills when needed you will loose weight. Remember the band doesnt do it for us...we still need to make good food choices and listen to our bodies when we are "starting to feel full" good luck. and think positive thoughts always.

[Nologoz 18]

At least for me, and I suspect for a lot of you, food is more of a compulsion than a choice. I think that's what got us to the point where we needed help to control it. When I get something in my mind that I want, I WANT it and usually can't let it go until I have it. I've been controlling that pretty well on the preop diet because it's a short period with a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm very worried about that feeling after surgery. I know I will be where you girls are, very emotional about what I can't have. My brain tells me 'that's silly, it's just food, eat something else', but something else in me wants what I'm craving so badly I can't be logical about it. I'm hoping that by fighting through this a few times it will get better, for me and for all of you. Giant hugs all around, we can do this!

I had the same exact fears before surgery.

Before the band, I wasn't really able to tell the difference between hunger and a craving.

I never felt full pre-op...always felt hungry...always wanted more to eat.

I'm 4 months out now and I am amazed that for the first time in my life I am able to control my weight without feeling like I'm starving.

I still have cravings...but the cravings are much easier to fight without feeling hungry all the time.

[latrice 0]

I think so of u r crazy. Their is no way i'm going to mess up a good band u did this for a reason to stop eating like that I use to be like u. But I ask my self do I want to be like this the rest of my life. I have three lovely kids. And I need to be here for them as long as I here. But being unhealthy will not help the problems there for should had ask ur self was this the right thing for u.I been on pre-op for 16 day and had my surgery on aug 6 2008. I feel great lost 20lb and still counting. Go to some support group. Because u letting food get the best out of u.

[ShrinkyDink 0]

I had the same exact fears before surgery.

Before the band, I wasn't really able to tell the difference between hunger and a craving.

I never felt full pre-op...always felt hungry...always wanted more to eat.

I'm 4 months out now and I am amazed that for the first time in my life I am able to control my weight without feeling like I'm starving.

I still have cravings...but the cravings are much easier to fight without feeling hungry all the time.

Thank you for the reassurance, I sure hope it works out that way for me, I'm worried about it.

[thatDEgirl 1]

My surgeon wants me to have a normal relationship with food, that is his goal for all his band patients. I remember at my first visit, asking him what all would be no-no foods after the surgery and his reply was absolutely nothing. The band is for moderation and lasting satiety. Yes, eating healthy is best but we all know that...a QP once in a while is not going to kill you nor label you a failure.

[kgloverii 0]

My surgeon wants me to have a normal relationship with food, that is his goal for all his band patients. I remember at my first visit, asking him what all would be no-no foods after the surgery and his reply was absolutely nothing. The band is for moderation and lasting satiety. Yes, eating healthy is best but we all know that...a QP once in a while is not going to kill you nor label you a failure.

Amen to that!!! I ate a White Castle Jalapeño Double Cheeseburger (with only the top bun-- middle and bottom bun removed!) for dinner tonight. I have not one HINT of guilt. I eat healthy 95% of the time, and this dinner is nothing that make me a failure or 'bad.' There are no 'bad foods' just 'not as good' foods.

[Melisa1 0]

Im hoping to get banded within a month or so but we will see how long all the testing and insurance takes?