Telling the family????

dld512 · August 7, 2008

Hi, I have been to my intial consult, psych eval, and my first visit with the nutrtionist. . .I also have a pcp appt tomorrow. The ball is rolling. . . and fast. I have not told my parents (whom I live with). I was hoping to get some advice on how and when to do it. . . .and hear other peoples stories of telling loved ones. Especially those who were unsure of how they would react.

wannababy · August 7, 2008

I was very unsure of how my parents would react, and suprisingly, they are very very supportive. My parents both said they have seen me struggle for so long that they are just glad I am doing something about it. I was very shocked, but so glad I told them, and now it is a huge weight off my shoulders.... Good luck!

Amy

Just Banded · August 7, 2008

well living with them- how could they not know? your entire life will be changed from being on liquids to eating mushy foods and then again and again with fills, etc.

Long2BFree · August 7, 2008

I was afraid to tell my mom because I knew she would panic because I was having surgery. She lost my step-dad to cancer few months ago so I knew she would be worried. I just came out and told her that I was going to have LBS and explained how it worked and how long surgery would take. I also told her that my husband was 100% behind me. She never really said anything but I knew she supported my decision.

RHS · August 7, 2008

Same for me I was very concerned with telling my parents who now live in Florida. I did not want to tell them over the phone so I waited 3 months to tell them. I told them in person and they were ok with it, my mom even said she was thinking about it for herself but did not know much about it. (Maybe she will do it after she sees my success) I am doing this to lose the weight I have struggled with my whole life but also in hopes to finally get pregnant. I have not told my in-laws and don't plan on it. If it comes out in conversation months after, that is how they will find out.

Parents are all ways there even when you think they will not be. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

auntlucy · August 7, 2008

I don't live with my parents, but we are very close, and they only live a mile from me. I told mine that I was tired of struggling with my weight and that I needed a tool to help me. I told them I knew that there was no magic wand that would take it away, but that I needed a tool to be an aid. Then, I told them that I was considering surgery and that I had researched all of the different types. I told them a little about each and that I was leaning towards the band, but wanted to go to the seminar before making a final decision. I asked them if they wanted to go to the initial seminar. That way, they had a chance to learn about it and ask questions. Since you have already been to a seminar, maybe you could go to a second one (assuming your surgeon offers them) so your parents could go. When I first told them, I asked them to not make up their mind until they had done some research. After the seminar, my Dad said he would support any decision I made but would prefer if I got the band b/c the bypass had too many risks from what he heard. They have been very supportive. My dad wanted to know that I was doing it for the right reasons...to be healthy NOT just to get skinny.

Good luck...let us know how it goes!

jdrocks226 · August 7, 2008

I am 8 wks. Out now, my husband wasn't supportive at all. Thought something would happen to me, and i would be sick all the time. Now he says how nice i look after loosing 36 lbs. And not being sick at all. He says he could never do it. No drink with a meal, haven't had any bread, and am trying to be good, since going thru surgery, i don't want to cheat or mess up my band..so, he is much more supportive now. I know some people will give you a hard time, but this is for you. Not anyone else. Good luck judy

dld512 · August 8, 2008

Thanks so much for all the advice. I was going to tell then after insurance approval but that wouldn't give them enough time to get used to the idea.

Nobody's Girl · August 11, 2008

I am having surgery on Tuesday. I have told my friends and every stranger who will listen about my surgery, but I havent told my family. I think that they would frown on it because it is expensive and they think it is lazyness. I plan to tell them when I come home for thanksgiving, when they can see some weigth loss. My mother is overweight but looks down on WLS, so I want to show her that it does work and it is safe so that she might consider the surgery for herself.

Lshelley21 · August 11, 2008

I am married...actually only a year on aug. 25 of 2008!! And i did tell my parents that i was going to go through this procedure. They didn't believe me and still do not. They are telling me that there is no way that my doc. would allow me to do this, and it is silly. Then they changed the subject. I figured, my husband is my support here, and that is what i have. My parents i love more than anything, although i also have my husband who will be there for me! And if they still don't think i could...well...they are in for a surprise!!!

FeliciaLevy75 · August 11, 2008

My family is almost wholly nonsupporting. My little brother and his wife are great, my cousins are fabulous, and some of my uncles are great. Short of that, my immediate family are uncaring, afraid, and generally ignore what I am doing and the results from it.

To acknowledge it is to acknowledge that I am removing myself from the club of which they are a part. They don't like people to do that, to remind them that they are unhealthy, obese, and justifying their way into depths from which they will not recover.

My dad would have been supportive. I know that. But he died of complications from type II diabetes at only 64 years of age. Still, he would have been there for me with complete understanding and support. He would have been the only one in my Vegas who did.

Since I don't have him, I have friends, I have my little brother, and I have ME.