Started my new life 8/01.mixed emotions

[Hope2bthinrn 0]

Hi, I am a mom to 4 beautiful and smart kiddos. My boys are 13, 8, and 5. My princess is 3. I was banded Aug.1st and am so excited to start a new life with a thinner me!

I do have to ask to anyone who has been banded if you had a wave of mixed emotions after the surgery? My husband is wonderful and has been cooking for the kids so that I didnt have to be around food. I am honestly not hungry a bit and have no desire to eat (first time ever). But I am trying to distance myself from food I can't have yet because it still looks good and smells good.

Ok, so here's the honest part: I feel very depressed and left out when they are all eating and chatting and I am in another room. I know its my choice to join them but find it torture to watch them eat things other than liquid.

My poor husband doesnt know what to do. Hes been trying to make things they eat and I am not fond of.

Is this selfish or smart for me to just want to be in another room?

Did anyone else have depression after the band and miss eating although you're not hungry?

Thanks

[Lanakila 1]

I'm not banded yet, so I'm not speaking from experience but I think this is what they call "brain hunger" around here. It's when we aren't actually hungry and yet we WANT food. There's a really nice article on the home page that is about turning off your Autopilot. I dunno if it will help you, but I thought it might be useful.

Know that we are all here to support you and that this is a place where there is always SOMEONE who understands what you are going through. Sometimes you just need to vent, and other times you need to reach out. We're here for you!

[PrincessLuzalot 0]

Hello Hopetbthinrn: I had surgery the same day and I am finding I am happily on the road to recovery. I have 2 children ages 14 and 11. I try to join my family at the table (when there is room) for the connection and sip what I am having. Soon I will be eating with them and want them not to notice too much change. I wanted to cook my favourite food 2 days after surgery, spaghetti meat sauce, just to smell it. I had 10 peeps around for dinner that night, and they loved it.

My sister had gastric by pass 5 years ago and she came by the next day and had a small bowl of the sauce. That provided me with great hope. So I won't have the Pasta and garlic bread, but I have the best part, the sauce and people to share laughs and conversation with.

Today is day 4 and I look forward to feeling even better tomorrow, and having a Protein shake. You will find your groove. Congratulations on having a great husband, they make all the difference. Kim

[lellow 1,713]

I get where you're coming from. I was banded 1st Aug too and those first few days when I could only have Clear liquids, my DH cooked for the family and I stayed in my room, feeling left out too. I told him that night and he reminded me that by the end of August, I'll be right there eating with them, just far less than I used to (and slightly modified to exclude foods hat 'stick')

Last night, I had some egg drop Soup before they had their dinner, and 1/2 cup filled me up nicely. I was then able to feed my 2yo his dinner without feeling the slightest bit of head hunger or desire for his food. I also knew that whatever he was eating, I'd be able to eat in 3 weeks.

So knowing I won't have to give up these foods forever has helped me manage my head hunger a lot. Maybe if you can train yourself the same way? That's it's not 'goodbye' but 'see you later' instead?.

[Futr littl Debi 0]

Hi Hopetbthinrn - it sounds like you are missing your family more than the food. Perhaps you can get some good snuggling time rather than around the table time? Kiddos can scarf the food down pretty quickly, but snuggling can be very special.

[Roheryn 0]

Hey Hope I think that Lellow has a good take on it!! It won't be forever and it could also be a good time to retrain your brain!! And that article Lanakila was talking about is an interesting read.

I think that a big part of our battle for us all will be to stop that 'brain hunger' and given that you currently dont' feel that hunger (and that will most likely change and be harder whilst you are trying to get the right fill level), it could be a good time to retrain that brain.

I guess I'm thinking that being away from the family and missing out are you still focusing on the food because it is the reason you are not with the family anyway? If you are it could be just as damaging to the psyche and you may continue to feel that 'brain hunger' anyway.. (well I know for me it would be, I can just think about a food type and crave it or feel hungry even though I'm not...) So as I was saying, it could be a good time to try and retrain your brain to being around food that smells good and looks good but that you currently can't eat.

Also would it be really unbearable do you think if you tried to sit with them and sip something? You could maybe give it a whirl and see how you feel and if it does cause you too much difficulty then stop and concentrate on the fact it won't be too much longer before you will feel up to eating with the family!

I hope you are feeling better soon!

[keisha85 1]

hi all,

also banded on august 1st. my sister came and looked after me for the 1st 24 hours as i have a strange living situation, there are 8 of us sharing a kitchen and bathroom, but we all normally do our own thing.

she wanted a pizza that evening and was adamant she would go and eat it in the kithen if the smell was making me want it, but it didnt, i just had my apple juice.

i think the problem is going to come on friday lunch, as i live aove the canteen (i live in staff blocks where i work) and they have fish and chips on friday. but i am at the nurse appointment to have stitches out at 10.30, so will hopefully miss the cooking time.

head hunger got to me slightly 2 nights ago just as i was falling asleep, so had some Water and shouted at my head silently and it listened-sounds stupid i know. but i will win, we all will win, it just takes time.

[Roheryn 0]

I think I'm going to be doing a LOT of shouting!

[Moe128 0]

Great advice everyong! I was banded on the 1st too and have been cooking the past couple of nights and I tried to speak really positive to myself-silently so my family wouldn't think I was nuts:smile:. I reminded myself how much weight I have dropped already and then I remembered that in a few weeks I can have this stuff and between now and then I'm going to keep losing. I've actually kind of reward myself everyday with a compliment-you did it-type of thing. Anytime I get that head hunger I get on this site or find something to keep me busy or go for a walk. I think part of this is showing our emotional self that we can live without solid food for a month. Before surgery when I skipped a meal, I thought I would die. Now I know I can do it. Just think of how proud of ourselves we will be when we make it to the goal of eating solids again:)

I love the idea of cuddle time too. My 5 year old son announces to everyone that comes in to check on me that "mom's losing weight", because when I explained the surgery I said it was to lose weight.

I just went out yesterday and bought 5 new extracts. I tried some almond extract in my vanilla powders?utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury and it tasted like ice cream. I got some maple, orange, strawberry...I thought it would make the shakes a little easier to take for the next several weeks.

Hope this helps and YOU CAN DO THIS!! Moe

[Hope2bthinrn 0]

Thanks to everyone who responded. Each day that goes by gets better. I have lost 19 lbs in a little over a week, (7 on pre-op and 12 since surgery). Starting to feel better about things. Last night when I said how much I had lost already, my 5 year old said "Hey mom I'm proud of you. You aint fat no more, you're medium." Was funny but made me realize that when I can run and swim with them more easily it will all be worth it!

[mominflorida 0]

Hi Hope2bethinrn,

I am scared about the same thing! I will be banded 8/20 and am scared that I will feel depressed and left out after surgery. I have a Bar Mitzvah 10 days after and won't be able to eat!!! I will just take the advise from the other bandsters that it is just for today. It is the beginning of a long journey and sacrifices are going to have to be made.

Glad to hear you are feeling better.

[weightinggame 23]

Hi everyone,I do have the same fears too, I'm being banded on 18th August in the UK. I keep remembering though that I did the cambridge diet for quite a while and lost weight on just x3 shakes a day. I don't recall finding it that difficult over the 6 weeks I did it for, I just couldn't sustain it or keep the weight off. If I can manage this I'm sure I can manage x4 weeks of liquids. I think this will be a real lesson for me though, afterall I'm going to have to learn to deal with people at meal times in the working and social environment in the future without a huge plate of food to hide behind and I think my family and in the home might be a good place to test out my ways of coping with this.

Glad to be joining you all here and hope to be able to share my experiences after being banded too :wink_smile:

[lellow 1,713]

just wanted to say that I went to lunch with my DH, my MIL and my 2yo yesterday and I was dreading it thinking I'd stick out like a sore thumb. They ordered and I asked what the Soup of the day was. It was pumpkin, carrot, leek cooked in fish broth and pureed.

It came in a huge bowl and I had 1/2 cup while everyone else had fries and cakes and iced coffees. It was really nice and I realised that by being forced out of my comfort zone, I ended up with something really special instead of the fries I always used to eat.

When my MIL realised I wasn't having anymore Soup, she asked if she could try it. She reckoned I got the best-tasting meal of the lot! And I did!

So it's not all bad, guys! Really. There will be many silver linings, not just the weight you lose! You just have got to watch out for them!

[g00dbyefat 0]

Hi, I am a mom to 4 beautiful and smart kiddos. My boys are 13, 8, and 5. My princess is 3. I was banded Aug.1st and am so excited to start a new life with a thinner me!

I do have to ask to anyone who has been banded if you had a wave of mixed emotions after the surgery? My husband is wonderful and has been cooking for the kids so that I didnt have to be around food. I am honestly not hungry a bit and have no desire to eat (first time ever). But I am trying to distance myself from food I can't have yet because it still looks good and smells good.

Ok, so here's the honest part: I feel very depressed and left out when they are all eating and chatting and I am in another room. I know its my choice to join them but find it torture to watch them eat things other than liquid.

My poor husband doesnt know what to do. Hes been trying to make things they eat and I am not fond of.

Is this selfish or smart for me to just want to be in another room?

Did anyone else have depression after the band and miss eating although you're not hungry?

Thanks

No I can understand fully. I feel similar and I'm only on the Atkins pre-op diet. The other night my family was eating Cookies, I stayed out of the room as I know it would be hard for me. But everyday it's getting easier...and it will w/ the band too. There's sure to bee a time of adjustment needed. You're retraining your brain, body and everything. It will take some time, like w/ everything.

I know my best friends dad was banded about 3-4 yrs ago now. When he first got it he was freakin out, wondering if he should have done it. Now he's 140, down from 400lbs and VERY happy in the decision he made. He can eat ANYTHING, no probs w/ any food, he just eats about 1/8th what he used to! :w00t:

[Roheryn 0]

Glad to hear you are feeling better Hope!!

I think we are all bound to have those thoughts at some points along our journey. The good thing will be that we can come on and get the boost or kick in the right direction!!

Kids come out with the funniest things. And they suprise me sometimes how perceptive they can be and that weight loss is awesome! Well done

And keep focusing on the positives!!