Mothers are confusing!

[slimteacherin08 0]

I figured I would post this in rants and raves. I figured this was the most appropriate spot for this. Seems how my mother is driving me CRAZY!

In November I decided to research the lap band and discussed it with my husband. By January I made arrangements to go to a seminar to learn more and made the final decision. In December, while my parents visited for Christmas I told my mom what I was looking into possibly doing. Told her about the seminar I was signed up for and that my husband was VERY supportive. She seemed happy for me. After the seminar I found out my insurance required 6 months of PCP visits. I immediately made an appointment to begin the process. By the end of January my mom mentioned that she was going to have the lap band done too. She would pay for it all out of pocket if necessary, but was going to have it done by Feburary. I was excited for her, but at the same time a little shocked. She didn't say anything about it in December. It was all new to her. But I was glad she was interested in it. Then all of a sudden she was going to have it done ASAP! It almost felt like a race.

I continued on with my 6 months of PCP visits. She meanwhile tries forcing getting the lap band done. But I guess after two doctor changes and the fact that she has too much scar tissue for the procedure. She is going to have gastric bypass. The pysch has not cleared her for surgery yet. He wants to make sure she is mentally ready. So she visits with him once every couple of weeks.

I meanwhile have finished up my PCP visits, did my pysch., nutrition visit, etc....and everything is in insurance hands for approval. Today I called CIGNA to see where I was in the process; and it is at nurses review. So they said I could find out about approval this week or next. I was excited. When I talked to my mom today I told her my news. She said "good, good" and then abruptly changed the subject. I have noticed that we use to share our process with each other and now that hers has been delayed she puts me off.

I guess I am going off on here, because it kind of hurts. I know there are underlying feelings there, but she doesn't say anything about anything. It frustrates me. She is my mom and we use to be able to talk to each other, but it seems like she is changing. She is drawing herself in. You know how moms, usually listen to anything. I have learned to censor what I say, especially if it is about the lap band. After today's phone call, where she also said that when she goes the the shrink this week, she is going to tell him that he needs to clear her for surgery.

Is this normal? Has anyone else had to deal with their mother or another family member responding this way? Part of me doesn't want to tell her when I do get approved and when I do end up with the surgery. Just let her see when she comes for Thanksgiving. I know that might not be mature, but I am frustrated! :thumbup: :wub:

Edited August 4, 2008 by slimteacherin08
forgot a couple of words

[illinoishusker 0]

Mothers! what can you do.

I'm assuming she's extremely jealous and I have also found with my mother that as she ages she becomes more self centered.

she seems to be pretty self absorbed and having issues. I'd sit down with her and have a heart to heart.

Use "I" words. I feel.... when you say that I feel...

Good luck.