WARNING!- I Was a LapBand "Orphan"

[Isabell 0]

Lap-Band *Orphan Tells All

(*Isabell is currently an Ambassador for Texas-based Lap-Band experts, coffee. A young brunette in much-too-high heels. And a few young men, all in crisply ironed shirts and bold ties. Voila! The elevator doors parted. The men hesitated just long enough for a “ladies first” gesture allowing Ms. High Heels to get on. This IS Texas after all, where gentlemen are still gentlemen. Just as soon as the doors had opened, they were closed again, and the elevator made its way to floor 1, 2, 3… I stared in disbelief. I was still in the lobby. Having been pushed to the side and left behind.

This was my moment of truth. When had I become invisible?

It’s embarrassing to even write this, but people had always described me as pretty. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to enjoying a certain amount of attention from men. That was my twenties…and even into my thirties. That was before the divorce, fleeing to France, and before a bout or two of the blues. Somewhere in there I put on an extra 30, 40, 70 pounds to my loveliness, and men stopped seeing me as lovely. More importantly, I wasn’t feelin’ it about myself either.

food had become everything to me. I won’t bore you with the details. I have a feeling you’ve lived everything I would write anyway. Let’s just say I indulged in the intense pleasure and comfort food delivers (fast and without judgment). And the more I ate, the more I hated exercise.

Of course there was a wake-up call. Coming out of gall bladder surgery, my physician showed me the crystal-like cholesterol that had built-up inside of me causing so much agonizing pain. Well that was the end of that. I’ll show everyone I can lose this weight! You know what came next. The parade of diets: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Don’t make me list them ALL. Just know that I tried them…every one of them. Then went back again for a second round on a few. Each diet failed me and I was heavier than ever. Pretending to exercise didn’t help either.

Gastric Bypass. Oh, I had heard of it alright. But that was NOT something—no matter how fat I might be—that I was willing to do to my body. It was invasive and it was forever.

Eventually I found my way to the Lap-Band. And I was an overnight success! Okay, not quite. Six months after a successful surgery, I was anything but successful. My weight HAD NOT budged. I was miserable. While I had chosen an EXCELLENT surgeon, I had long been “orphaned” by the center that coordinated my surgery.

If you don’t know what “orphaned” is, let me take a second to warn you. Being orphaned in Lap-Band speak means that no one provides proper aftercare, check-ups or fills. I was left all on my own without any support. Orphaned is exactly the right term! The worst decision you can make is to pick a place that doesn’t offer months of excellent care before and after the surgery. Choosing on price or running off to Mexico is a huge Red Flag that you might end up orphaned. Do all your homework and don’t let what happened to me happen to you.

What did I do for six months post-banding? I ate nothing but butter, mashed potatoes and chocolate shakes. The Lap-Band allowed me to do it. No one provided aftercare to prevent it. And quite frankly, it tasted delicious! Yet as much as I was indulging in treats, my body was STARVED for nutrition. As a Lap-Band orphan, I had no idea what foods to eat, what foods to avoid, what sequence worked best, which liquid vitamins were best, where my fill “sweet spot” was, how much chewing was enough chewing not to vomit. I didn’t know ANYTHING.

More miserable than ever and desperate to make my Lap-Band a success, I started researching like crazy. It took me a while to figure out exactly what worked best for me, but when I did, the weight started falling off. I don’t want to mislead you. I had to do the work of small meals, chewing like crazy and then chewing some more, making sensible decisions about food, and finally exercising for real. I went from that leisurely see-I’m-exercising-kind-of-walking to all-out jogging 4 or 5 miles. Seriously. And I didn’t hate it so much. I felt a jolt of confidence with every pound I lost and every mile I ran.

70 pounds later, I look and feel great. I’m allowed to say that about myself because I EARNED it! I know what it’s like for people to stop seeing you, even when you’re standing right there in front of them at the elevator. I know months of being an abandoned Lap-Band orphan, I know the fear and embarrassment of PB-ing, and I certainly can list a few foods I miss. But I also can tell you that food isn’t the end-all be-all for me it used to be. Instead of ruling my life, it’s far more about deciding how to get the best nutrition I need. And never, NEVER again will I allow myself to become invisible.

Now that I’m so much thinner, people always ask if I’m going to have my Lap-Band reversed. I wouldn’t DREAM of it. I know myself. And I know what food can do to me and would again. This proud Texas girl tells them all the same thing, “You can take my jewelry, but I’ll never give up my Lap-Band! Never!”

[Angelsma 1]

for telling our story. I believe we can all relate to every point made in your article. All the best to you now that you've been adopted:thumbup:

[LAW 0]

Your are my hero! Way to go Isabell! Good to know someone cares. Thx for sharing your story! :cool2:

[Isabell 0]

Thank you! If my story can help just one person it will bring about joy...

[shy_one 0]

Very well written! Thank you for sharing your story and letting others know they aren't alone. What courage it took for you to step outside your box and start questioning what was happening to you. I wish you continued success - Brenda

[Isabell 0]

Thank you, Brenda. It's certainly been bitter-sweet.

[lindaday 0]

Thank you, Brenda. It's certainly been bitter-sweet.

thanks for your story it gives me hope i was banded on 8-20-2007 and have lost only 44lbs im real bummed out just can't get a handle on this it so hard but i will keep trying

[wickedme 0]

I have heard from numerous people how I could have this process go so much faster, but I chose my surgeon for the same reasons you wish you had. I have been going to cognitive therapy, which I might not have done, and found some things out about myself that will help me on this journey to a new life..

Thanks for getting the word out,, you could save a lot of people a lot of pain and heartache!!

[Girliesmoml2003 0]

Hi Orphan:

I am beginning to know what you mean by being "orphaned" by my surgeon. He has minimized alot of my worries and seems to just say;" Try it and see if it works", and smiles when I ask him about certain foods and things to avoid. On one hand it is nice that he feels my diet won't be that different but on the other hand, I only had to meet with a dietition once. They had some hand out, and no one has taught me to eat a certain way, in what order, and all the things you spoke of. I had my band placed 4 weeks ago. I lost 10 lbs prior to the surgery and another 6 so the first week afterward....and nothing since. My first fill is next week which I'm hoping will begin the weight loss but I just have this feeling that I will be stuck like you were. Do you have any secrets from the lessions you've learned? I would love to know what to do, as I already anticipate the same issues for myself! Thanks so much!

Lynn

[Shamrockgirl60 1]

Congratulations on doing it yourself, I am very lucky to have a program that follows everyting, much learing and it took 7 months to go through their program and education. We have a booklet they give with all your post op instructions including a week by week diet and what to eat for the whole first year. I wish all lap band programs had this. I see that some don't and that is awful.

You look great. I too want to become "visable" again. And not be ignored in stores and for people to really see me. I hate that.

I can stand for 10 minutes and some thin woman comes in the store, and the clerk goes to them immediately and asks "Can I help you?" I get so mad. I have said "Excuse me I have been here 10 minutes", and they say, "Oh I didn't see you", geez how can you miss me....Being overweight is the last prejudice that we have and that most people don't care about. And they get away with it.

[Girliesmoml2003 0]

Hi Shamrock: Can you shed some light on the year long diet you've been prescribed? I would love it if you have general advice.

[conniesant 0]

Isabell, I too am a lapband orphan! Your message has really hit me. How do I get help? I haven't a clue what to eat or how much and feel very alone. I was banded 6 months ago and after my second fill I went two months throwing up then had to have an unfill. I now think that I need another unfill because the band feels tighter and I'm throwning up again. My surgeon is in another city and I have to fly there for anything I need done. I really feel out in left field with this whole process.

[glancerlm 0]

The lapband website is helpful in giving guidelines on what to eat. I researched the band before my surgery and the most important thing I learned was that the band is a tool, not a magic pill. The key to weight loss is eating less, choosing more nutritious foods, and exercising; I guess the surgery makes that a little easier. I think you have to take the initiative to find support for yourself if you don't have it.

[krismas73 0]

Hi Isabell,

I am an Lap Band orphan too. I had my surgery done in NY 6/2008 and less than 6 weeks later we moved to middle of nowhere Indiana where I had to find a center that would do my fills, which most of them won't if you didn't have your surgery there. I finally found one (thanks to the girls on here!!), and will have my 1st fill next week @ 11weeks!!!! My surgeon and his staff never helped me find another center and didn't give me a plan to follow until then. I was totally disappointed.

My "elevator" is the cell phone sales guys in the mall that ask every woman/girl who walks by to stop by, except me. Not that I need a phone, but to be treated as if I don't exist and not walking by is very humiliating.

Great success to all of you, WE deserve it!!!!!!!

[Dallas57 0]

Isabell, I know exactly where you are coming from!! After being slim, pretty and very active until I was about 38, I started gaining weight during my divorce, lost my mom under tragic circumstances and then lost everything in Hurricane Katrina, I gained about 150 pounds! I had always done well at work, but took time off from the professional world when I lost my mom. When I went back to work I couldn't believe how I was treated!! It was totally different. I told one of my friends that I wasn't "in with the in crowd" anymore. I was banded on 8/12/08 right at 300 pounds. I am now around 275, maybe lower, and I have started walking almost every day again.