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Hi Jeeter,

First of all, kudos to you for getting banded. More kudos for getting your child medication. It can make a huge difference in a life, once you find the right balance. And Big giant HUGE kudos for taking care of your mother.

I will not give you advice about your sister. I will give you advice for yourself, however. Please buy a book called, "Safe People" and read it.

You have every right to be sad, mad, and tremendously hurt by her attack. Just make an effort not to let it ruin a happy life for you.

I took care of my mother for her remaining five years on this earth. At times I was very resentful that my siblings didn't do more. But now that she has been gone two years, I realize that it was they that they were cheating, and not me. I have a thousand wonderful memories, and all the struggle and sacrifice seems mightily insignificant! Keep the faith!

Good luck!

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I must have done my first comments wrong because I am getting emails intended for Jeeter. I commented on her post, I guess at the wrong place? and now I'm getting all her emails. I'll try to contact the webmaster and figure this out.

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Good Morning Jeter2,

I REALLY empathize with you. I have a younger sister and it sounded like you described her to a tee! What I have done in all of my dealings with her is turned it over to the Lord. Prayed for her mental well being and asked GOD to work in her life. I have distanced myself from her and so has my other sister and brother. We just can't take all the drama in her made up world. We all have full lives with work and other activities and she is home alone, NO friends (seriously, she has fought with anyone who was ever her friend and has no one to talk to anymore). I do feel sorry for her and have talked to my brother-in-law about getting her some medical help but he just puts his head in the sand and sees nothing wrong. (But I know why he works like he does and is only home an hour at night before bed) so he doesn't have to deal with it all. So just do as I have, put it in GOD's hands, distance yourself and live your life for your husband, yourself and your children. LIfe is great once you do this!

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Sorry, I'm not Jeeter. I replied to her post the first time I commented and I must have done it in the wrong place. Now I'm getting all of her messages. By the way, I just got called to meet with the surgeon on August 15. I'm 'bout there.

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Momffive, when you responded to Jeter, you "subscribed" to the thread. It may seem like they are all writing to you, but I don't think they are. You can unsubscribe and you won't be getting notes about all of the responses, if you prefer.

Jeter, they've said it all. (Family or not, people like that have no place in my life. What they say and how they act says everything about them and nothing about me. Surely everyone who knows her, sees her pattern of lies and trashing people and takes it with the respect such trash deserves.)

Blessings,

Orea

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I am so sorry that you have to deal with such ridicule and degrading comments from your sister. She totally seems like she has a mental issue to be so cruel to her own sister., she sounds border abusive to me. sounds like she should get checked out for depression, causes, anger, frustration all types of issues that you have nothing to do with. I would cut her out of your life for now, until she realizes why, and changes her ways toward you, this journey is hard enough, surrounded by loving, caring family and friends, forget the negative people, you are bettering yourself, why dont you tell her you dont need her negative energy in your life, (she might call tough love) she is abusive and needs to be stopped and only you can do that. she plainly is insecure, thin or not, she has issues. keep doing what your doing, this site is so amazing, i am so happy i stumbled on it.

banded 7/29

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I'm trying to give her time to think about how hurtful the things she said were, and if she apologizes then maybe I can talk to her civilly. But I don't know. She really pi**** me off. I've spoken to some of her ex-friends and my brother and other sister and they all agree something's just not right w/ the way she acts and treats people. She seems to "go off" on people and then later not understand why they're mad at her (although I made it clear I was not happy). We took her kids camping these last few days and she didn't speak to me when I picked them up and dropped them off, didn't thank us, nothing. My older sister is trying to keep an eye on her, make sure things are ok.

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Sorry about your sister troubles. I have 5 sisters and two brothers and sisters are by far the harder to deal with. I apologize for not remembering, but have you been banded? I have a physical appt. with the surgeon on Aug. 15 and I'm stressing. I'm so tired of this body; I'm SOOO not comfortable and I want to feel like the OLD, OLD me. All the thoughts are going through my mind...will I be able to adjust to less food...will I eat right and avoid pain, etc? ...School starts ( for me) on Aug. 19th...wish I could do it today and maybe be on the mend by then. Just thoughts. Thanks for listening.

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Wow, she is really sick. She sounds like my sister in-law. We had to cut all ties with her, she just tried to make everyone miserable. We are grown people and do not have to be treated that way. You must refuse to be treated like that as you better yourself. I am not having this surgery just to lose weight, but hopefully to live longer and have a higher quality of life. I won't stand for any emotional bullying. I'll kick ass and take names because I'm fighting for my life. You deserve credit for taking the bold step of getting the help you need. That is strength not weakness. Best of luck in your physical and emotional struggle.

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There's a wonderful book you can probably get at your local library titled Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It's a lifesaver for people who are in toxic or otherwise damaging relationships, including relatives. It will help you deal with just such a situation.

Hope you find relief soon.

Jan

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
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      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

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        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

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      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
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