I'm Mad!!

[gone 4 ever 6]

I am sorry to hear about how your sister treats you. I would distance myself some. It sounds to me like she is bi-polar. My oldest brothe was like that and a freind of mine was also like that. She definatly has a problem and I think it is mental. Maybe one of your other siblings can talk her into getting checked. I would approch my other siblings with a question of "has sis ever treated you like garbage"? You might find out they have gone thru the same things. I know my family was ashamed to talk about a lot of things to each other. Then One of us got brave and asked the others. Well it has opened us up and we are a closer family for it. Good luck with everything in your life. Just know that you are a wonderful person and you know the truth about your life, not your sister. Hold your head up proud

[2KpUpwithAvery 0]

All I can say is Wow....

This has little to do with the band, and much more to do with your psychotic sis.

Next she'll be telling everyone ur losing weight due to a crack habit!

[Rhondadbe 0]

I can truly understand what you're going through !

Please understand one thing.....it is not you ! It truly is your sister. I have two siblings like her....imagine that....there are only 3 of us....I'm on my own now because of crap they have pulled on Mom and I had to get involved to make things ok.

I can only imagine the stories they tell about me. I have heard about a few, but I truly don't care. My decision a long time ago was to dis-own them because of what they did to Mom.

It's all gossip and they have no idea what they are talking about. They talk to Aunts and Uncles that I have stayed in touch with and have been very upfront and honest with. They know the whole story from me.

Don't let her bother you after doing something awesome for yourself like Lap Band ! I don't even know you, but I'm sure you didn't just sit on the couch watching tv and eating bonbons, too lazy to do anything. I don't think that's how any of us got the way we are ! :party:

That's my opinion and I am a little hard headed sometimes.....LOL :Banane34:

You know we're here for you, please don't let other peple make you feel terrible, I know your Mom appreciates what you do for her, she may not understand Lap Band, consider her age, don't take it personal. I have to do that with my Mom sometimes. I know she loves me !

Have a great rest of the weekend !!!!!!! :huh2:

[thelonedaisy 0]

I don't know if I'm doing this right, but here goes. I read your entire entry with ravenous interest. Your life sounds like a version of mine. It's your sister that has a problem. You are doing MORE than is fair for your mom. Do what is right for you, be fair to others (and you are), and consider that your sister has issues. I thought I was the only one who would keep my band to myself; I fully understand. I guess I'm thinking that people will say that I took the easy way out-since I'm obviously lazy and only lie on the couch and watch t.v. and continuously eat. I'm not yet banded, but have completed everything and am awaiting a call to schedule. I'm trying to be realistic about it. I need to hear from others who have kids, we have five, and how they remain normal with the cooking, etc. I hope you are able to figure this out on your own, I don't expect your sister to admit any wrong doing in word or deed. Live YOUR life and let your sister live hers. Congratulations!!:biggrin2:

hi mom of five we also have five children and since we are a one income the children will be learning to change their eating habits real quick! not without its treats here and there..if you want to talk feel free to pm me!!:biggrin2:

i feel for you with a sister like that who needs enemies!!!!!

[klbs 0]

Jeter2,

Well, my post got lost but what I "had" said was I can relate. Are you the youngest? I wouldn't wish this birth order on my worst enemy. I have no voice.

I'm also home now, I have 7 kids and a grandbaby we're raising. My mother just diagnosed with cancer and a lame, smartmouth, self centered sister. I'm sick of her. I have two brothers and they think they're doing what they can to help. Me, my kids, and my grandbaby are here from 7 or 8 am to 1130 at night and this stupid woman thinks I'm not suppose to say anything.

I'd love to compare notes with you!

P.S., My 8yo son has ADHD and he's adopted too.

Edited August 3, 2008 by klbs
Addressed to Post Starter and added information

[momfive 0]

Well, my post got lost but what I "had" said was I can relate. Are you the youngest? I wouldn't wish this birth order on my worst enemy. I have no voice.

I'm also home now, I have 7 kids and a grandbaby we're raising. My mother just diagnosed with cancer and a lame, smartmouth, self centered sister. I'm sick of her. I have two brothers and they think they're doing what they can to help. Me, my kids, and my grandbaby are here from 7 or 8 am to 1130 at night and this stupid woman thinks I'm not suppose to say anything.

I'd love to compare notes with you!

I must have done my first comments wrong because everyone thinks I'm the one with the mean sister. I was responding to the girl with the mean sister. I am about to schedule my surgery and my sisters are happy that I'm about to do it. I hope I can straighten this out.

[Jeter2 0]

You have all made me feel so much better. I really needed to hear from other people that could relate to my struggles. My sister and I are 3 years apart, and we had always been close growing up. It really hurts when she treats me like this, and I think you guys are right, she's not happy with her life. But she would never admit it, she always has to act like she's more popular, better looking and in complete control-- like she's still in high school. (We're in our mid and late 30's.) Part of me wants to help her, part of me wants to never talk to her again. I think I need to take a break from her, at least temporarily. We're going camping next week and her kids are going with us, so I can spend some time with them. (She will never thank me for taking them camping with us-- never has.) I never say anything bad about her to them, but I know she puts me down in front of them. Being teenagers now, I think they see the truth but that's sad because it is their Mom and I know they love her. As for the fact that she may be Bipolar, this may be true. My mother is bipolar. I make sure she takes her meds so she is stable now, but I know bipolar can be hereditary and my sister shows some signs. WW III would erupt if I brought this up though! It's like this-- put up with her so I'm there when she needs me or feel guilty by cutting off our relationship and not being there if something bad happens. When we were children and my Mom had to be hospitalized, I always tried to protect my sister from everything going on around us as she was younger then I was. And this is how I now get treated?

As for my daughter's ADHD, thanks you guys for the support. Along w/ meds she's getting counseling and lots of support at her school. She is a wonderful, happy little girl who just happens to have trouble with memory and concentrating. We adopted her from China when she was a year and a day old (now 7). My other bio daughter is 10, and then there's my husband. They're both great, too. I am blessed and I should not let others get me down! But why do some people have to be so darn hurtful? :teeth_smile:

[Jeter2 0]

All I can say is Wow....

This has little to do with the band, and much more to do with your psychotic sis.

Next she'll be telling everyone ur losing weight due to a crack habit!

Don't I know it! When I lost weight before (never getting out of the overweight/borderline obese category) she told most of the family I was anorexic! I was actually eating more then ever and just had a very physical job, was just out of college with no kids or husband and my best friend was a work out addict so I'd tag along. I gained all the weight back, so I guess my anorexia is cured! (No disrespect to those suffering w/ an eating disorder.)

[di1138 8]

Oh Boy...Having spent last night and today upset with family members I can truly say I feel your pain. Mine is not as viscous as your sister was to you but I believe it hurt as deeply. She is definitely the one with the problem. IF she tries to speak to you again do not tell her anything about your family. Refuse to speak about your weight with her. She owes you a hugh apology. Just because she is your sister doesnt mean you have to like her. Like my Dad used to say " you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose :teeth_smile: but you cant pick your family". Concentrate on the things and people that are important to you. She is toxic and can only bring you down. Best of luck and lots of positive thoughts out to you!

[Telecia 1]

Wow I gotta say your sister is one messed up person, You sure shes not on drugs? and definally put some distance betweeen her and you. But you dont have to do the same to her kids. They probably realize their moms being a B**** too. Just do what you can to stay in touch with the kids and not your sister.

I Have been a caregiver for my father in law and I have 2 sons with ADHD So I know what your going through. We tried tons of alternatives for both boys from diets to holistic and each time ended up on meds. With the oldest I had to call it stop when his doctor keep adding stronger more nasty meds. When he refused to eat and could sleep. He stoped them all and did so much better after. He didn't finish high school though cause of it. But he went on to job corps and once in a environment where he could work his own pace he flew through all his GED courses and all the computer courses he took in record time.

Now on the youngest he is on concerta only because my insurance wont pay for anything else till we try it first. And he did ok on it last year but its not the answer. I am not happy with the results. Ever 5-6 months it seems like they have to raise the dose and that i dont like so we are gonna see if the doctora can push the insurance to try something else.

Again with him we tried diets, modified behavior programs at home etc. and none work well with him. But one thing the new doc has reasured me about is that its a learning process and what works for one kid doesnt work for the next and it can be frustrating. Having a doc that realizes this and works with you is crucial.

Important thing is dont let your screwed in the head sister ruin the good thing you got going, grats on the weight loss!!!

[Mrs J.J 2]

Grrrrr!!!! Your sister just peeved me off so badly. She obviously knows which buttons to push to really hurt you. To heck with that.

You carry on being strong and being the person you are. Just shrug your shoulders and know deep in your heart that you are the better person for taking care of your mom and now yourself too.

You are entitled to be good to yourself and be happy. If I were you I would take what she said with a pinch of salt but you need to tell her how much she hurt you by saying "x..y...z" and tell her you will no longer stand for that kind fo talk again. If she cannot treat you with kindness, love and respect then once she has learnt to do so YOU´LL decide to talk to her again.

(I have a younger sister that has a sharp sting when she is angry and says things in the heat of the moment that hurt so badly - I keep hoping that she´ll grow out of that, but at 33 y/o, she still hasn´t)

[bklyn1984 0]

I have learned that you can say goodbye and good riddance to family members who live to hurt others. I have siblings that are like your sister and what I have done is to just go on with my life. Your sister's probably jealous of you and your life the one that she wants and has yet to find it. She need's help and probably medication too. If anyone listens to her garbage then you are better off without them too.

Stay strong! Do not let miserable people bring you down to their level it’s a very lonely place to be and that’s why they want you there. Misery loves company.

Edited August 3, 2008 by bklyn1984
Fonts too small

[momfive 0]

I have learned that you can say goodbye and good riddance to family members who live to hurt others. I have siblings that are like your sister and what I have done is to just go on with my life. Your sister's probably jealous of you and your life the one that she wants and has yet to find it. She need's help and probably medication too. If anyone listens to her garbage then you are better off without them too.

Stay strong! Do not let miserable people bring you down to their level it’s a very lonely place to be and that’s why they want you there. Misery loves company.

I guess when I replied to Jeter it looked like her entry was mine. My entry was separate at the bottom of hers.

[thelonedaisy 0]

I guess when I replied to Jeter it looked like her entry was mine. My entry was separate at the bottom of hers.

i totally got that and my post looked like the second part was directed at you i guess me putting space between the two didnt work like i wanted it to:rolleyes2:

bc my first have was directed at you...

[Babysoftly 0]

I am so sorry I can't yet reply to this :biggrin: and breathe........