Lapband or Wedding?

[dralee26 0]

I need some advice. I was scheduled to have Lapband on September 4th. I was offered my dream job, so I had to cancel that date. The only available date my surgeon has for me to do the surgery is August 5th. That is 2 days before I was scheduled to go to my college roommate's wedding. The wedding has been planned and all expenses paid (non-refunable) for over a year. Now, I am trying to figure out what to do. Do I cancel my wedding trip plans to have the surgery? Or postpone the surgery for a year? I have never had such a hard decision to make. I have been counting down dates until both the wedding and my surgery. I haven't seen my old roommate in 4 years. I'm sooo torn. I want the surgery to improve my health. But, I know that I probably won't get another chance to see my college roommate for many many years. What would you do?

[Susie Girl 75 0]

I don't know what you should do... I mean, waiting a whole year for your band??? I couldn't imagine that.

There is no way they could schedule you for maybe a week before? If that were the case, you could have your surgery and STILL make the wedding. I tell you, I was back at work in 4 days!!!

Good luck my dear, I will pray for you that you come to a decision that works out for everyone involved.

hope that helps, at least a little bit.

Chi-Town Susie Girl!!

[Jaceesmom03 0]

WOW... what a hard decision! Make a list of pro's and con's. Surely you'll be able to come to some conclusion from there. :wink2:

I'm sure if you decide to go ahead with the surgery, your college roomate will understand. Good luck!

[luluc 6]

What would you do?

go to the wedding.....then

find a surgeon that didn't make you wait a yr - that's just insane. or would be the yr wait be your call? if "that" were the case - get your lapband. there is "always a wedding" around the corner - your health should trump that.

[Shauna80 0]

I agree with Luluc....I think you should go to the wedding, then find another surgeon that is willing to do the surgery earlier than a year. Your health is more important, so I would start calling now to see if there is another surgeon your comfortable with. Good Luck!

[auntlucy 22]

If you are in the wedding (couldn't tell from your post), I don't know how you can back out with such short notice. I find it odd that your surgeon can't do it for another year if you don't do it now. You might want to look for a surgeon that has more date flexibility. It is a hard decision, but ultimately you need to think about which one will have the most impact in 10 years.

[Brandy~ 2]

I would have the surgery. You really need to think of yourself first when it comes to your health.

Why do you have to wait a year? Can't you heal and then plan a trip that isn't associated with a wedding? They will see you much more healthy that way as well!

I planned my wedding around the lapband hehe. I was banded 4/23 want to lose 100 pounds total. My wedding is 2/7/09 on the beach in kauai. As much as I wanted to have my wedding. I have chose to move it out and get healthy that will make seeing everyone all that much better!

[stef123633 1]

I think the poster means they need to wait a year b/c they are starting a new job and can't take the time off of work.

Hard decision....maybe after you've been at your new job and feel things out, you could explain to your employer that you have surgery scheduled and need time off - of course it may be unpaid though...

[ginsan 0]

Go to the wedding. To me it is a no brainer. Best friends are too precious. Your friend would be devastated. However, if you feel you want to do the surgery, talk to your friend about it and how torn you are and let her be the one to say "go ahead and do it". She will feel better if she suggests it to you.

[Lanakila 1]

If you are in the wedding party you have to go...no question.

If you are not in the wedding, then take the surgery date. I understand that you don't want to take time off of your new dream job, and you deserve to be a "better you" more than you need to show up somewhere.

I got married last summer and one of my guests chose not to come to the wedding and visited a couple of months afterwards. It was a great opportunity for us to actually spend time together instead of seeing them for maybe one day...and them having to share us with everyone even with that.

[Mommie_of_4 0]

I agree with Lulac...I would find another surgeon. Why do you have to wait a year? That is CRAZY!! Are you waiting a year because of your dream job or because of the surgeon. If it is because of your dream job...you can take sick days and do the surgery. Have the surgery on a Thursday if possible, take friday off and go back to work on Monday or Tuesday. That would only be 2 - 3 days off.

Your friendship is something that you don't want to lose. Does she know about the surgery? If so, ask her and see what she thinks. But if you just don't go and she doesn't know why...that would be really crappy.

[Michee 2]

Get the Band.

I am sure there will lots of people at the wedding. The bride is usually super busy trying to talk to everyone. In reality, you will probably spend less than 10 minutes total talking to the bride one on one.

Can you go see her the week before the wedding and help with last minute preparations? That may be more "memorable" time for the 2 of you

[juliegeraci 7]

Why do you have to wait a year to be banded? Why not work for 6 months then take a week off? I would not miss the wedding but 1 year out is unrealistic.

[Fanny Adams 7]

You've (or someone has) already paid for the wedding trip and you said that it was non-refundable (especially if it was someone else!) To me, that would make my decision for me. If the reason you have to wait for a year is because of your surgeon's inflexible calendar, find another surgeon! If it is because you will have just started a new job and don't want to ask for time off up front, talk to them about it and see what you can work out. As someone else suggested, you can get away with a minimum of time off, if you schedule the surgery for a Thursday morning and plan to be back at work on the following Wednesday. That's only 3 days off work but 5 days recovery time. I think you might be uncomfortable and it will be a little tough to go back that quickly but it is do-able, several people in here have done it! If they are good HR people, though, they will tell you to go ahead and do the surgery and take the time you need to recover. In that case, I'd schedule it for a Friday afternoon if you can and just take the following week off, giving yourself both weekends and 9 days total recovery time.

Edited July 30, 2008 by Fanny Adams

[PennyLane 0]

First order of business is to see if it can be rescheduled sometime sooner than a year from now--with this or another surgeon.

Otherwise, this might be a silly suggestion, I don't know...but a lot of people fly home from Mexico in the day or two after their surgeries, so I don't think that flying would be a big issue. Someone else in the July group went to a wedding 3 days post-op (don't know if it was out of town or not). The big issue for her was making sure she had access to food (liquid, really) that she could eat. It does seem doable.

Me, personally, I felt fine as soon as the anesthesia wore off. I could have flown somewhere and attended a wedding. Don't get me wrong, I never would have scheduled it that way on purpose but I could have done it if it came down to it. I enjoyed the few days my mom and I set aside to relax but on the way home from the hospital (a little more than 24 hours after the surgery) we went to the video store and checked out the antique shop next door to it. I felt bloated and the port incision was a little tender but otherwise I was fine. I remember thinking that it must not be fun to have to travel right after the surgery like some people do but I see how it is doable.

I, personally, wouldn't wait a year, but I'm also very direct and decisive. I'm slow to make decisions, but when I do I want them enacted yesterday. For me the deciding factor would be how much am I willing to go through to attend this wedding post op? For my best friends, I'd do it. For others....I'd make an excuse and an apology and send a very nice gift and make sure to ohh and ahhh over the wedding photos.