Anger, Impatience, PCOS, and a new life

[jaclyndw 0]

I'm 19 years old - was diagnosed with PCOS at puberty. First, let me say that no one can truly understand this disease unless they have experienced it firsthand. I sympathize with all of you here! As a teen, it's been tough with the pressures of high school and college. Not looking as thin as your friends (and perhaps a little more masculine) has been fairly traumatic at times. You can't ride the rides at amusement parks, you can't shop with friends in the trendy shops, and you are constantly watching everything going into your mouth. While your friends grow and blossom into women, you seem to lag behind and grow into something not quite female and not male, while having all the respective female parts. My voice (even though I sing and love to speak publically) is deeper than voices of most women. I've had laser treatments for the hair growing on my face. I've been taking metformin for years. I've been overweight all my life and have loved food from the get-go.

So I was banded on the 22nd of July, 2008. I am four days post-op, and am feeling a kind of war going on between my body and my mind. broth, sugar free popsicles, Jello, and protein-infused beverages are getting old. As I don't return to college for about four weeks, I have to be around my family as they cook and sit down to meals. I might be acting overly emotional about all this, but I have to go in my bedroom while they eat. I've been pretty hungry, and i'm literally seeing spaghetti and burgers in my thoughts. I have also recently started my period, which has eluded me for years. I don't regret having the surgery at all - I know it's not going to be like this forever. I'm ready to be thin, but the road of recovery has been a hard road to travel and I realize it'll continue to be tough for the next six weeks or so. This is a very confusing time now, as i've truly started a new life. I can't use food as a means to cope with life's problems. I'm literally on an emotional rollercoaster. I get angry with my family - It feels like they're seemingly trying to tempt me. I'm very impatient, as i've always been ms. independent (so mom says) and it's hard to sit on the couch and take it easy when I could be at work or getting ready for school. I just felt like letting out my emotions in the form of a rant...not exactly a rant, more of like an account of what the past week has brought. Sorry for this being so long - maybe some of you can relate to this? I know that we'll all come out okay in the end - it's all about the journey. Thanks. :tt2:

[marie715 0]

Jaclyn, I'm so glad you posted your message. You're absolutely correct. The only people who understand PCOS are those of us living with it. You have a couple of really great things going for you. First, you were diagnosed with PCOS at such a young age. That is really going to benefit you. I didn't get diagnosed with PCOS until I was 35 yrs. old (I'm 48 now) and the only reason I got diagnosed with it then was I read an article in Good Housekeeping about it and noted that I had 9 out of the 10 symptoms of PCOS so I brought that to my Primary Care Physician's attention. You were able to get help so much earlier in life than I was.

And now you have the lap band to help you out. I am in the final stages of pre-ops and should have my insurance referral submitted within a couple of weeks.

We're here for you in this forum and also, you are going to be a big help to me and others in this forum. We need to stay in touch via this forum so that we know we have others going through what we are going through.

Post again in a couple of days and let us know how you're doing and what you are struggling with.

Regards,

Marie715

[Sunwyse 1]

Hi Jaclyn,

its perfectly normal that you will be going through all this, your body has been through a major trauma. It doesn't matter that we willing have surgery, to our body its still a trauma. Its going to need a little time to settle down, I know its hard but just be a little more patient with it.

As for your family, can you go for a walk or read a book in another room while they have dinner? You can let them know you want to have togetherness time with them still, but after they've finished their dinner would be best.

As for seeing food, well that's quite normal too. Are you seeing these foods as things you are being deprived of now? If so, can you turn it into a positive by choosing to say these are things you choose not to have right now? It may help lessen the need for them.

The hunger will be with you still for a bit, til you start getting the restriction. I've read that for some people this can be a big let down time, but please stick with it. Take it one day at a time. We are here for you.

Another thing to consider, did you use food as a way to shove emotions down? When we get to a point where we can't do that anymore then all that anger and sadness we've been trying to bury under food suddenly comes up. Try keeping a journal and writing it all down. Let yourself cry if you need to, or take it out on your pillow. Allow yourself to experience whatever it is you are feeling. You are perfectly entitled to have your feelings.

Michelle

[smsmithart 4]

Your story is very touching and I am here for u pm me...

I have pcos and I've been banded 5 months today it took a little while for my body to start letting go of the weight..and your will too...to keep my mind off food I stay out of the house and pamper myself more instead of havin lunch with friends we meet at the salon and have manicures or I just walk around the mall..I keep my hair done now all the time I used to just put it up in a ponytail ..youl be amazed at how much time u have from not eating every min of the day....anyways my point is do something different to nuture yourself besides eat that what a lot of us have been doing for years...good luck

[beauty123 0]

Omg I Can Totally Relate...I Also Am 19 And Was Diagnose With PCOS WHen I Was 16 You're So RIght Only People With PCOS Can Understand What A Journey This Is My PCOS Syptoms R Gaining Weight Irregular Periods Which Is So Annoying I'll Have My Period For Like 2 Months SOmetimes More This Is So Depressing For Me I've Never Been At 226lbs I Was ALways Thinner In My Mid Teen Years I Can't Even Ovulate Like Regular People Uhhggg I Hate This... I Should Be Getting Banded Soon Just Waiting For My Insurance To Approve

[Hephania 0]

Wow, it is so good to actually find other people that are similar to me. I'm 19 and I live in New Zealand, and because of the tiny population of our country its hard to find anybody my age who is experiencing the same thing as me. I have had issues with my weight since about the age of 12, and now weigh about 220 pounds and was diagnosed with PCOS late last year. I have many of the symptons of PCOS, obesity, facial hair, acne and irregular periods, and have been researching lap band for the past 3 months. I want it SO bad, and am sure I have enough money to pay for it, I'm just petrified that for some reason my docter will not let me have it or something, I faced up to my obesity a year ago, but it is still very hard for me to go to places like the docters because i still get very upset that surgery is what it has come to. I havent heard of anybody else in the same situation as me here, i dont have any support and just want to know what lap band has been like for a teenager with PCOS, physically and almost as importantly, emotionally and mentally.

Wouldnt appreciate a reply back

Hephania

[weightlossfail 0]

Hey, surprisingly, Im 19 years old, and I have PCOS. I got diagnosed when I was 17. I got banded may of 2009 and let me tell you its been hard... My sister who is a little over a year older than me also got banded at the same time. Your probably thinking, "your so lucky to be going through this with someone else in your family instead of alone" but let me tell you, its like im in this alone. My sister is bigger than me and she eats like crazy. Im tryin to stick to my diet but its so hard when my whole family including my sister eat a whole bunch of food in one sit in and its hard for me to just eat a little bit even though I get full fast. I know exactly what your going through. This diet thing is hard, and it sucks since my older sister and I decided to do this together. But for some reason she just drifted away. The only help I receive from her is when I eat something I shouldnt (which doesnt usually happen) or I eat inbetween meals. And her support is calling me fat and telling me that Im not gonna lose any weight by eating so much and that Im not going to lose any weight ever. But in reality, she eats more than I do and shoves it in my face, especially when she eats ice cream or brownies or pizza and buffalo wings.

Well just to clear it up, your not being over emotional nor dramatic. PCOS is a b*tch.. and my sister wouldnt know since she doesnt have it..