Did you tell people?

[Cherry_Blue 0]

I didn't tell anyone at first. It was mainly because once I made my mind up, I didn't want anyone who had no idea telling me their opinion. I t was hard enough making the call, you don't need people bringing you down.

Since having the band and losing weight I have started to tell people, it does make it easier and its suprising as to how many I thought were not going to be, actually are really supportive.

[peek 1]

I did tell my best friend and one of my co-workers. Then my daughter let it slip to my Sister-in-law who I didn't want knowing but has been great about it. That's it.

I don't want everyone coming up to me and saying "how much weight have you lost now" because it really isn't about the weight so much. It's about finding what fits best in your life, it's about getting the head into a spot where it is comfortable and not obsessing about eating and weight problems, and it's about me. Me only. And noone needs to know.

Funnily enough, I have had many people ask if I was losing weight and how have I done it. I just rely on the old, eating very little and exercising and a lot of discipline. That tends to satisfy their need to pry. I have had one person who asked me if I was sick, as I had lost so much weight! I reassured them, I was not sick (in the head maybe though!) and that I was losing weight deliberately.

The best part is that it is gone forever. No longer will my workmates (I have been here 21 years and people have seen me up and down in weight for that long!) see me go up again. This is maintainable!!!

[Fanny Adams 7]

I know that everyone has their own opinions on this and everyone has their right to privacy and may not want to tell people, however, I feel sad when I hear that people are telling others that they are losing weight from simply "eating less and moving more". Yes, that is true on the surface, but weren't we all told that before we took the lapband step? Was that true or possible for us? How did it make us feel when people told us that was "all it took"?

I know it made me feel like a hopeless failure, that I could try and try but not succeed at losing weight that way. It made me feel like I was weak and powerless, greedy and lazy, that people thought less of me because I didn't have the strength to stick to a diet plan and do the hard work. Every time I hear that someone with a lapband has explained their success that way, I feel that they are perpetuating the myth that diets work - that myth that made me (and I would bet most of us) feel so bad about myself.

If anyone asks, I am happy to explain how I did it - through eating less and moving more with the help of my lapband! I know I couldn't have done this on my own - I tried and failed at it for 15 years. I want to tell as many people as I can about it, so that I can help to change the attitudes of people...

[Cherry_Blue 0]

i kinda agree with you Fanny. When people tell me how much weight I have lost, i do tell them i have had lap banding, I would feel in some way I was betraying the lap band if I didn't lol.

But having said that, it has taken me a while to have the confidence to do so. In some way we are made to feel like failures, which is way wrong.

[ozscot1 0]

Hi Roheryn,

I know this has nothing to do with the post but, noticed that your op is tomorrow. Good luck!!

Sam

[ozscot1 0]

Hi all,

I was like Cherry Blue I didn't tell anyone except for a select few and my husband John who has had the op asked why as he told everyone that would listen. I thought about that and it was nothing to do with what people thought as I really don't care it is just that I am quite secretive about my life unless of course they ask then I will tell them.

So much so now that I have told them that I will not be at work next week some of them has asked and now nearly everyone knows.

Sam

[Roheryn 0]

Hi Roheryn,

I know this has nothing to do with the post but, noticed that your op is tomorrow. Good luck!!

Sam

:thumbup:Thanks Ozcot...just doing some last minute things before I head over to mum's for the night...dad and I are both being done tomorrow :crying:

[Sunwyse 1]

Fanny, I couldn't agree more!!

My personal view, not meant at anyone in particular!! I feel that if I don't tell people and lead them to believe I will lose the weight through moderating my diet and exercise alone, that I am perpetuating the myth that fat people are simply lazy and stupid when it comes to what to eat.

It also makes me feel that I believe I am somehow cheating and have something to be ashamed of, why else not tell people?

As for other people's reactions, I don't care what they think. I know this is a positive step for me and so far only encouragement. But then I often think what we fear people will say is really what we think about ourself underneath and are afraid to face. If someone really wants to see what another person might say, why not talk to a stranger in the street and tell them.

Said it before and will say it again - I will tell anybody who will stand long enough to hear the words - I'll yell it after them as they leave if I have to. I am now 41 and I have struggled with excess weight since I was 13. I am glad I have reached a point where I can finally give up the fight or the pretense of a fight, because that way simply didn't work and is never going to work. And I'm so excited and happy to find there is a solution.

What I have is a genuine medical condition, not a social/emotional/moral one. There is an answer which requires and operation, but there is an answer. For me its like saying my thyroid is playing up and now I take medication to stabilise it or I have a shot liver and can have a transplant which will cure that. At the end of the day, I have a dysfunctional 'something' and science/medicine has found a way to make it better, make it work right. I'm all for it and I'm happy to let others know. To hell with shame I say - Give me freedom!

*getting off soap box now*

[Fanny Adams 7]

Preach it, sister!! *joins you on the soapbox*

[ozscot1 0]

way to go sunwyse, I agree there is nothing to hide as I said before I never really told anyone at first and that was just because they never asked at first. When they did ask I had no problem with telling them so now everyone knows.

Like you John my husband tells everyone that he meets and even shows them his scars to prove it for instance we were at the market and I bumped into a couple of my friends from work, John started telling them about his op and the next thing was his top was up in the air and he was showing of his scars from the op.

Sam

[Sunwyse 1]

Plenty of room on my soapbox! lol @ Sam. I can just see your hubby now. Something I'd likely do - after a few that is. Hey! I once was driven down the main drag of the Gold Coast topless, by my partner. Lots of bright lights and my size E-s out for a play!! My partner got a kick out of it, the car load of size 6 girls we pulled up next to, didn't quite see it that way lol, but that's me.

[lellow 1,713]

I too am not shy about lifting up my top and showing people my scars. The main reaction is that they're surprised by how small and unobstrusive they are! (luckily the scabs have all fallen off and they're just pink and slightly puckered now)

In the last week, I've had 4 people comment on my weight loss, two of them virtual strangers. I told every single on of them about the lapband. One lady actually was thinking about doing it herself, and grilled me with questions, which I was more than happy to answer!

I don't even care if I get a negative comment anymore (haven't had any though since I started losing weight, except perhaps that I didn't need to lose weight - yeah right!) because people can see it working. A bit hard to argue with success, even a little success (like mine).

[Sunwyse 1]

No such thing as a little success, lellow. All success is a big deal!

[PDG777 0]

Hi, I initially told a few close friends and family (oseas) and had fantastic support from them all... I told some work friends and they could not be more excited for me and supportive.. I was banded on 19th August, and as I myself have been getting happier and happier with my choice (and it is very noticeable) I have been able to feel secure about telling more people and all I am getting is "Good On Ya" and tremendous support - they have all been great - and I am finding that I am really enjoying the support from them.. You are literally grabbing back on to life again.. and they know it and certainly seem to be going with me on my trip... so .. it's all good.... Trish

[Fanny Adams 7]

Hi, I initially told a few close friends and family (oseas) and had fantastic support from them all... I told some work friends and they could not be more excited for me and supportive.. I was banded on 19th August, and as I myself have been getting happier and happier with my choice (and it is very noticeable) I have been able to feel secure about telling more people and all I am getting is "Good On Ya" and tremendous support - they have all been great - and I am finding that I am really enjoying the support from them.. You are literally grabbing back on to life again.. and they know it and certainly seem to be going with me on my trip... so .. it's all good.... Trish

That's exactly the response I have gotten - nothing but support and well-wishes from everyone. I wish all of us could experience that - it sucks to hear other's stories about getting a hard time, especially from their family.