Surgery next week---Should I cancel/postpone???

2nd2none1 · July 24, 2008

I am on the road of indecision. I am torn about what I want to do. I have my surgery date scheduled for next week and everyday I consider cancelling.

I am self-pay so the cost is $18k, I was told that the process for self-pay was 60 days to complete. Here I am 200+ days later and finnally I get a date but now, my finances have changed.

My husband loss his job, we were in the middle of purchasing a new home as we have already sold our current home and are living in an apartment waiting for our new home to be built.

It's a hard decision to make. I do not have problems with food but I do have PCOS which constrains how much weight I can and can't lose and makes me infertile.

I initially became interested in the procedure so that I could lose enough weight to start ovulating to have a baby. BUt the doctor tells me that I have to wait 2 years for the weight loss to stop.

I am really confused and do not know what to do. Any suggestions????:biggrin:

debgoodman · July 25, 2008

My husbands been in and out of work for 3 years. I have insurance but I had to pay $1200 out of pocket which may as well have been $1 million. I also have a 6 month old so there is NOOO extra cash. If you want to have a baby and weight is the issue, just do it. Don't wait. Two years may sound like a long time but it will fly by. It will be a lot longer if you wait and then the money will be gone and you'll be out of luck.

I suggest you put yourself first. We don't do that and you're giving yourself a number of reasons to give up on it. This is for you in the long run. Your health and your family. I have had to learn to just put me first every once in awhile. It's not being selfish but you may regret it when you get a few more years down the road.

How does your husband feel? He'll get another job.

Shinyhappymommy · July 28, 2008

At just over 300 pounds I wasn't ovulating and wanted to be. I was put on Clomid. (Not sure why this doc agreed to do that with me being so obese, but I'm grateful he did.) One cycle later I was pregnant and had a very healthy pregnancy. My depression lessened, I actually lost weight, ending my pregnancy 5 pounds less than I started. I quickly dropped 30-40 pounds after having my little guy. After it was over I wondered why I had waited so long to get pregnant. I had wanted to drop weight, but actually the pregnancy helped me do so. Of course everyone is different, but that's what worked for me. If you can work on getting pregnant now, I'd worry about the surgery once you've had the baby. If you're not able to get pregnant, then look at the surgery again.

Also, there are surgeons, specifically in the Denver area, that will do surgery for less than 10K. It would be worth a plane ticket to save 8K, in my mind.

finallythin@34 · August 1, 2008

I am now 35 and have two kids 10 and 8. I've been without birth control for 8 years and no luck. 2 years ago I went through a year of infertility medications trying to conceive. At that time I weight 275 way too heavy for my 5'5 frame to carry. Even with all the fertility drugs my doctor told me I really needed to lose weight and a lot of it. After one year of trying the infertility drugs I gave up and gained 15 more lbs. Then I chose to change my life. I quit drinking diet coke (which was at least 90 oz or more a day) and chose to have lapband surgery.

I paid out of pocket the 15,000 it cost for the surgery. It was the best money I ever spent on myself. Now just over one year later I am down nearly 75 lbs and I love myself again. My periods became more regular - no I'm not pregant yet, but perhaps I will be soon. I've nearly given up the dream to have more children, but it just could happen. I've never heard you have to wait 2 years. With the band I've hear 1 year to heal, with Gastric Bypass I've heard 2 years. Trust me, after 8 years of infertility 1 - 2 years is nothing to wait.

You have to make the decision that is right for you about whether or not you can afford it. I'm not sure how old you are but if your younger than me you should have plenty of time to start a family.

I think the problem most of us have in this life is we want instant gratification when the only real solutions take time, sometimes lot's of it.

Lori

Tess415 · August 1, 2008

I am on the road of indecision. I am torn about what I want to do. I have my surgery date scheduled for next week and everyday I consider cancelling.
I am self-pay so the cost is $18k, I was told that the process for self-pay was 60 days to complete. Here I am 200+ days later and finnally I get a date but now, my finances have changed.

My husband loss his job, we were in the middle of purchasing a new home as we have already sold our current home and are living in an apartment waiting for our new home to be built.

It's a hard decision to make. I do not have problems with food but I do have PCOS which constrains how much weight I can and can't lose and makes me infertile.

I initially became interested in the procedure so that I could lose enough weight to start ovulating to have a baby. BUt the doctor tells me that I have to wait 2 years for the weight loss to stop.

I am really confused and do not know what to do. Any suggestions????:cursing:

:unsure:What does your husband say? I think I would have a hard time spending money when my spouse lost his job. Times are tough... is it realistic to think he can get another comparable job income wise? The decision to put a Lapband in your body is yours... but the financing has to be a joint decision. Maybe postpone until the dust settles... if you get banded and are stressed out from money woes you are almost certainly setting yourself up for failure. Take a step back and have a heart to heart with your husband.

dhendrix · August 1, 2008

:unsure:What does your husband say? I think I would have a hard time spending money when my spouse lost his job. Times are tough... is it realistic to think he can get another comparable job income wise? The decision to put a Lapband in your body is yours... but the financing has to be a joint decision. Maybe postpone until the dust settles... if you get banded and are stressed out from money woes you are almost certainly setting yourself up for failure. Take a step back and have a heart to heart with your husband.

I have to say that I agree with speaking to your husband and making that decision together. My insurance covered most of the procedure, but I still had the 20% I had to pay up front. It was tough just getting that money together. This is my first week, and with some of the pain I am experiencing and trying to still keep up with 2 small children, I am thinking right now, "What have I done???" But I am losing weight which I have not done in many years almost daily. I think you will still feel a bit of the guilt (I have tons of it still thinking that I spent so much on myself and a little for my own vanity), I think the recuperation will make it a little more difficult. I can not wait to be as excited as all those others out there who are enjoying the weight loss without the "right after surgery" pain. This will obviously have to be your own decision. If what I read was correct, you are wanting to start a family. Children were very important to me and they are actually the reason for being at my present weight since I was slim and trim before then. Even if you get pregnant now, there is some torture in getting back down to your pre-pregnancy weight. If you are already overweight, chances are you will not even lose that baby weight and you will not get to enjoy your child as much once those kids start walking and running, etc...If there is only the two of you, this might be a good idea to go for the surgery and get by on less for a little while to invest in your happiness...or you might start blaming him for your condition due to his job loss, resulting in marriage conflicts (been there, done that). I think a good heart to heart would be good, and I would suggest looking into other doctors in your area. The $18 K sounds kinda high depending on what is included. Ok, thought I would put in a few thoughts. Not sure if it will help.

dhendrix · August 1, 2008

I am on the road of indecision. I am torn about what I want to do. I have my surgery date scheduled for next week and everyday I consider cancelling.
I am self-pay so the cost is $18k, I was told that the process for self-pay was 60 days to complete. Here I am 200+ days later and finnally I get a date but now, my finances have changed.

My husband loss his job, we were in the middle of purchasing a new home as we have already sold our current home and are living in an apartment waiting for our new home to be built.

It's a hard decision to make. I do not have problems with food but I do have PCOS which constrains how much weight I can and can't lose and makes me infertile.

I initially became interested in the procedure so that I could lose enough weight to start ovulating to have a baby. BUt the doctor tells me that I have to wait 2 years for the weight loss to stop.

I am really confused and do not know what to do. Any suggestions????:cursing:

I have to say that I agree with speaking to your husband and making that decision together. My insurance covered most of the procedure, but I still had the 20% I had to pay up front. It was tough just getting that money together. This is my first week, and with some of the pain I am experiencing and trying to still keep up with 2 small children, I am thinking right now, "What have I done???" But I am losing weight which I have not done in many years almost daily. I think you will still feel a bit of the guilt (I have tons of it still thinking that I spent so much on myself and a little for my own vanity), I think the recuperation will make it a little more difficult. I can not wait to be as excited as all those others out there who are enjoying the weight loss without the "right after surgery" pain. This will obviously have to be your own decision. If what I read was correct, you are wanting to start a family. Children were very important to me and they are actually the reason for being at my present weight since I was slim and trim before then. Even if you get pregnant now, there is some torture in getting back down to your pre-pregnancy weight. If you are already overweight, chances are you will not even lose that baby weight and you will not get to enjoy your child as much once those kids start walking and running, etc...If there is only the two of you, this might be a good idea to go for the surgery and get by on less for a little while to invest in your happiness...or you might start blaming him for your condition due to his job loss, resulting in marriage conflicts (been there, done that). I think a good heart to heart would be good, and I would suggest looking into other doctors in your area. The $18 K sounds kinda high depending on what is included. Ok, thought I would put in a few thoughts. Not sure if it will help.