My Wife Wants Lap-Band...

[rstroud100 0]

Hello. My wife has decided that this surgery is the answer for her. She goes for her psych consult and first meeting with the surgeons next week. I will be there by her side during this journey. I will support her decision and do whatever I can to make this a success. I do all the cooking so I will have to change our food to accommodate this process. My wife doing this will help me diet even though I am not getting banded at this time. I also am overweight but I cannot convince myself to get the band right now. I feel that I can lose my weight through traditional diet and exercise. In all honesty; I want to see how well it works for her first. Initi9ally my wife was a little angry that I was not as excited as she was about getting this done. I think she is coming around and realizing that this is a very personal decision to have surgery. How are other husbands and wives handling this?

[frazzledmomof2 0]

I commend you for being so supportive during this stressful time for your wife. I myself am getting banded next month and have a wonderful husband who is there for me when I need him but will not entertain the idea of getting banded. But honestly I think he doesn't need it and could lose it the conventional way once he puts his mind to it. Maybe following me in my journey my husband will be pushed along the way to a healthier life style as well. Just keep doing what your doing and good luck!:thumbup:

[Charlietuna 0]

Pat yourself on the back for being sooo outstanding.My husband is with me 110%. has gone on all of the meetings and everything. It's a "team thing"

We got my date as aug5th, last night. He went with me got the right stuff to eat and stated maybe i need to lose a few pounds. So you keep her going and grow to love this soon to be new women in your life..:thumbup:

[U_go_gurl68 0]

I have to commend you on your attitude towards the whole thing. My fiance wasn't for me having Lap-Band surgery. He pretended to be supportive, until a couple of weeks before my surgery. He also wanted to pay for it, at least up until he decided he wasn't for it. So at the last minute, I had to come up with the money on my own. I was not going to let his attitude about the surgery stop me, so I borrowed money from my 401k and had it in the bank in two days, which was 4 days before my procedure. (talk about luck)

The morning of my surgery, he even told me he didn't think he could handle all the changes I was going to be going through. He thought I was going to immediately lose weight and move on with my life without him. He did drive me to the surgery center, since it was two hours away, after I told him I would drive myself. I guess he thought threatening to leave me would make me change my mind at the last minute.

After the surgery, he hovered over me and told me he was sorry for being such a jerk. Now we are happy and he is seeing what having surgery has done for me. I am a happier person because I finally have control of my life again. Something I haven't had for some time now. I have lost 18 lbs and I feel great.

Your wife is so lucky to have a supportive husband on her side. And you will see first hand how life is like with the band and may decide it is something you may like to have as well. I wish I would have done it sooner, but in any case, I wouldn't take it back for anything. I love it!!!

Best wishes to both of you,

Stephanie

[Lanakila 1]

Hello. My wife has decided that this surgery is the answer for her. She goes for her psych consult and first meeting with the surgeons next week. I will be there by her side during this journey. I will support her decision and do whatever I can to make this a success. I do all the cooking so I will have to change our food to accommodate this process. My wife doing this will help me diet even though I am not getting banded at this time. I also am overweight but I cannot convince myself to get the band right now. I feel that I can lose my weight through traditional diet and exercise. In all honesty; I want to see how well it works for her first. Initi9ally my wife was a little angry that I was not as excited as she was about getting this done. I think she is coming around and realizing that this is a very personal decision to have surgery. How are other husbands and wives handling this?

My hubby, too, is planning to do it the traditional way...but right alongside me. He doesn't want to do the band, but does want to lose weight with me. We weigh the same and he only has 4" height on me, so clearly he needs to shed some too! I applaud you for being willing to go on this adventure alongside your wife. I think that my hubby and I will find this a good bonding experience, especially as we get more physically able to enjoy life, and because we can change our eating attitudes at the same time too. It would be very, very, very hard for me if he weren't going to change his eating habits too. Granted, he won't be doing liquids, mushies, or Protein supplements ever...but those small, healthy meals will become the norm in our home.

Best wishes to both of you!

[Shinyhappymommy 2]

That's wonderful for you to be supportive of her. It will help an amazing amount. My dh didn't need to be banded, he's a very normal weight, always has been. Even so, the changes that we've made in what we eat have contributed to him dropping 10-15 pounds, depending on the day. My surgeon said that's a good sign when a spouse loses weight because it shows that they are being supportive.

If you're the one doing the cooking, then you really will be a key player in how she does, though ultimately what goes in her mouth is her decision. You can certainly make those decisions easier for her by providing her with healthy choices.

I have had such an amazing journey with the Lapband and would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to.

[thin2bme 2]

I was banded 4 months ago and my hubby was not. He needs to lose weight also and told me he was going to do the lapband as well, but now that I'm 4 months down the road he has still not filled out his paperwork to do so. He is supportive of my decision, which is good, however, I find that I think he is sometimes trying to sabautage (spelling) my weightloss efforts by bringing Cookies, cakes, etc. into the house that I really need to stay away from. Other than that, he has been supportive. I hope one day that he will do the band, but I'm not pushing it because I know that if I do it will just make him shy away from it even more than he seems to be doing now. I think my experiences that I've encountered the last couple of months having PB'd 3 times might be scaring him off of having it done himself and he seems to think like you do that he can diet himself. Whatever, he decides to do I will be by his side and support him. I commend you for supporting your wife and I know the both of you will do just fine in your decisions.

[Brandy~ 2]

Just you being here and posting shows that you're extremely supportive so I hope she realizes that not all bandster have that behind them.. (I do and I am so grateful)

I wish your wife all the best with her journey to and with the lapband and you with your diet and exercise :biggrin:

[iluvlongnecks 0]

I got to tell you that it's wonderful to have a supportive husband while going through this journey. My husband at first told me that he didn't want me to do this and I explained to him that I was'nt doing it for him, but for myself and if I was doing it for him I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons.

He has been by my side for every appointment and even stayed in our motorhome in the hospital parking lot when I had surgery. I have to travel from Sac. to South San Fran. for all my appts., including my fills and he hasn't missed a one even tho he has to take time off from work to go.

He doesn't have a weight issue what so ever so I feel that I am blessed to have such a supportive partner in helping me go through this.

Not that he doesn't love me for who I am, but I'm sure he'll like the end results later. :biggrin:

[TracyinKS 7]

Way To Go!

Surgery is very personal.. you have to be ready for it.

My husband was supportive but he wanted to know how it would affect HIM... and I'm going to break it down in truth.. (THIS HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE)

but first... my mom clicked her tongue and said that she would let me be the guineau pig doubting it would work.. but NOW she is planning to self pay for a band for herself....

OK the husband.......

it was VERY hard for him to watch me eat so little..... I think it actually pissed him off. (much like forcing a child to clean his plate)

He would get irritated with me if I didn't want to spend the money on a buffet for me when I would eat very little.... (and it was something I had to get over)

He tried to become the food police...... (and that is a HUGE HUGE no no!)

As of late... I think he is sick of hearing about my band..... we have adjusted to the fact that I usually share a meal with my 4 year old son, or just order something alacarte... I'm smaller now that when we first met and he makes comments that my ass is flat..... He understands that I'm much happier with myself. He is a good man and he really tries to be supportive.... but I think sometimes he feels a little left out.........

The band is really meant to help volume eaters..... most of us on this forum have indeed lost weight (1000's of lbs) via traditional measures, but maintaining the loss is paramount and the REAL reason why I chose the band....... I have a plan that I do my best to stick to and the band is there to remind me when I try to sabotage myself.. and say.. HEY STUPID.. YOU CAN'T EAT THAT!

But I will say that the band is different for everyone.. its what you (and your wife ) make of it......... it is a process... and I will be the first to say that I am NOT a model bandster... but I have made it work for me, and it is the best thing I've ever done in my professional dieters life!

GOOD LUCK

[wickedme 0]

I pray when it comes right down to it my hubby will have the same attitude as you and want to lose weight along with me. We had done it before the traditional way but there are lot more factors now. I do all the cooking and shopping and he and my kids are already noticing the changes,, like frozen yogurt instead of icecream..

best wishes to you both

[wickedme 0]

[OK the husband.......

it was VERY hard for him to watch me eat so little..... I think it actually pissed him off. (much like forcing a child to clean his plate)

He would get irritated with me if I didn't want to spend the money on a buffet for me when I would eat very little.... (and it was something I had to get over)

He tried to become the food police...... (and that is a HUGE HUGE no no!)

As of late... I think he is sick of hearing about my band..... we have adjusted to the fact that I usually share a meal with my 4 year old son, or just order something alacarte... I'm smaller now that when we first met and he makes comments that my ass is flat..... He understands that I'm much happier with myself. He is a good man and he really tries to be supportive.... but I think sometimes he feels a little left out.........

I have been through a hysterectomy and broken tib/fib and this is similar to how my husband reacted from the attention of others or because I had to put myself first. When I asked him for support he immediately started preaching to me about food... I told him support was bringing home yogurt instead of chunky monkey icecream, going for a walk or swimming with me, or giving me a hug when things were tough.