Anyone else just... flake out during the process?

[MissMaryAnn 0]

I have been considering the lap band for a long time, and attended my first seminar back in January. I went to my PCP, got a referral, got my psychological evaluation, met with the surgeon, and then just... stopped. I think that it was a combination of getting a bunch of confusing insurance statements that made me think I was thousands of dollars in the hole, and a consultation with a bariatrician who seemed to think I would fail no matter what. I decided that I wasn't in the right head space for a lap band.

And yet, several months later-- I have realized that without consciously trying, I've given up carbonated beverages, cut WAY back on alcohol (from 2-3 drinks per night to maybe 1-2 per week), slowed my eating pace, and started eating at home almost all of the time. I've also decided that my health is worth spending money on-- I'm a big saver, and it is very frightening for me to spend money, because I am afraid I will lose control or go bankrupt. However, my husband pointed out to me that my mother does the same thing-- never spends money on herself and is still miserable, and I realized that maybe being happy and healthy is more important than having a big fancy house or high bank balance. And so suddenly, the lap band seems doable again.

Part of me feels like I just needed to take a step back and take some time to decide to move forward, but part of me is still saying that it's selfish, that I'm just lazy and gluttonous and I shouldn't need surgery to lose weight... but those voices are getting quieter.

I guess, after all this rambling, what I really want to know is if anyone else experienced these roller coasters of emotion while going through the process. And if so, how did it work out for you? Any advice or guidance or sharing is very welcome. :thumbup:

[Donna113 2]

I started thinking about WLS a couple of years ago and decided against it because I didn't want to do something that would affect what and how I ate for the rest of my life. Now I realize that was my addiction to food talking because the reality is that food was controlling ALL of my life. Once I could finally admit that I had a disease and it was getting stronger while I was getting fatter and flirting with comorbidity illnesses, it was really easy to say no matter the cost or the effort (I had to self-pay) it was worth a try. I am now 1 week post surgery and have no regrets and am looking forward to the rest of my life.

[slim2be 0]

Hi MissMaryAnn,

Don't blame yourself, this IS a disease and you probably need help. It can be scarry to think of how your eating will change but try to think of how you whole life will change when you lose the weight! I'm 3 weeks post-op and including the 1 week liquid diet before surgery, I'm down 26 pounds! Getting on the scale this morning and seeing that is such a wonderful feeling. I'm another very happy person with the lapband....look at all of us on this site. We're telling you the truth in saying that this does work and you'll be so happy after it's done and you start seeing the results. Good luck to you on your weight loss journey!

Lisa :thumbup:

[B-Man 1]

I did.

I went to the seminar, had the consultation, and started down the insurance path, and then just lost interest. I was not ready. I did not want it bad enough. Its like being in a bad relationship, food is a bad relationship. I turned to food as a solution for all my emotional problems. You hear all the time about domestic violence and how these people keep going back to the partner that is beating them. Well how is being in a bad relationship with food any different?

The same broken promises, lies and abuse, but for some reason we keep going back to food thinking it will be different next time.

Well after six more months of domestic (food) abuse I finally did what I knew all along was the right thing. I Borrowed the money and made the most selfish decision I have ever made. You never know just how bad a relationship like that was until you get away from it.

My only regret is that I waited so long.

[gone 4 ever 6]

everyone has their own issues that they deal with before and after. A lot of the issues you work thru by yourself, some you might need help with (i.e. the forum here) One thing I would do is check into a different surgon. Your Dr. should be part of your cheering section. Look for 1 that makes you feel comfy with. One that agrees you can do this. Good luck on your decision.

[Kat817 19]

food addiction and abuse are very similar to the more commonly heard of addictions of smoking, or drinking------but the difference is, you can live a perfectly normal life, and live for decades, without ever smoking or taking a drink of alcohol again. Abstinence is key. Avoid them completely to kick the addiction. With food that is not an option! We must eat. Making the right choices, or stopping with a reasonable portion is where our problems lie. And it is an addiction. We can start with all the right intentions.....but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It would be like the smoker who quits by smoking 3 cigarettes a day---some might be able to do it, but very, very few. The band, gives you the help to make eating right, and in proper portions possible. Then once you begin losing weight, you find yourself wanting to be more physically active.

It is definitely a scary prospect to lose an addiction to food. It is one that is widely accepted, as far as addictions go! Every holiday, every celebration, every milestone in life and death is accompanied by food. It was there to comfort you, and give you something to do anytime day or night. To think that all your habits must change is an overwhelming thought! What you are going through is VERY common! Many of us visited the thought of WLS at least once before we become serious enough to research it and decide it was for us!

The good news is.....the band makes all the changes you worried about soooooo much easier than anticipated! The help in Portion Control, and the lessening of the actual hunger itself has made doing this possible!!! I could not have lost over a hundred pounds without my band. By the same token, just having the band and not working with it, I would not have lost the 100 pounds either.

Some people can and do lose this much without WLS, I just know myself, and know I tried through the years, and it would not have happened. I did good for a couple of months, and could drop 40-50 pounds, and then I would begin backsliding.......and within a couple more months the weight was back plus some more!

I am over 2 years out with my band, I am in a size 10---even a couple of 8's! I do not "diet" per se. I use my head when eating, and try to eat in a healthy manner. I have learned portion control, and taught myself what triggers me to eat more (carbs in my case!!)

I had a total unfill of my band a couple of months ago for my Tummy Tuck, and I have yet to have it refilled. So far my habits have carried me along, and the hunger has not returned as it used to be.

Before banding I would walk in the house ravenous, and just begin eating, chips, Cookies, whatever was quick and handy! Now that the hunger is not like that, I make better choices. That has been a huge difference, I have control again!

Flaking out is not uncommon, and is perfectly normal. It is to be expected when you make a lifestyle change---but this one is so worth it!

Kat

[Ellen86 0]

After talking with my doctor, I came online and did a ton of research before the seminar. and after reading the risks, the huge dietary changes.. for a short while i thought "do i really want to pursue this?" then I thought again.. we have a history of diabetes in my family, my blood sugar has already been at 'the high end of normal" at 21, i'm too young to be dealing with the weight issues I have plus the risk of a destructive condition like diabetes. I did consider flaking out but when I really thought about it.. was me being able to eat all the junk food i could handle worth shaving years off my life, maybe not being able to eventually find a boyfriend/husband or risking being able to have kids? in the end... it really isnt. I know it's going to be a huge adjustment... but eventually it just becomes normal. and i do know a few people who have had WLS reached their goal weight, are sooo much happier, look fabulous, and y'know, now they can enjoy some of their old favorite foods (even the not so healthy ones) just in smaller amounts. It's daunting to see how much your lifestyle has to change for the surgery to work, but I think anyone who's had it and had it change their life would agree, it's so worth it. Right now, my surgery is in a little less than 2 weeks, I'm nervous, but excited! By far, talking to others who have had it, and looking at things in perspective have helped me to see that this is what needs to be done, and it's going to effect my life in a very positive way. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide :thumbup:

[Jodi_620 37]

Money was a bit of an issue...it IS alot of money. But then I started to look at my mom and other older people that are overweight. My mom has a slew of medical problems and a cabinet that looks as well stocked as your local pharmacy. She has diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, degenerative disc disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol... just to name a few. I know that the costs of obesity are piling up for her more and more as her income becomes less and less in her older years.

I also had (and still have) a hard time believing that this will work for me. I have been overweight since I was a small child, I failed at weight loss so much that I still can't completely believe that I will someday reach my goal...it just doesn't happen for me. And the thought of failing after going through major costs and major surgery is very scary.

It is a big step to take and it is natural to have reservations. I had plenty but I don't regret moving forward.

Edited July 23, 2008 by Jodi_620

[Kat817 19]

Thread hijack--------

Just wanted to say first of all Ellen, you are so well spoken and articulate, as well as level headed for a 21 year old, I know you will do wonderfully!

And also I am sooooo thrilled to see young people like you and Jodi taking charge at your age. To be able to go through my younger years, and the younger years of my kids at a normal weight would have been so much easier. It was stressful being obese as we all know, and with kids in school, the stress increases. Of course I combatted the stress with chips and dip----but that is beside the point!

I love seeing young people deciding to live their lives---and doing what it takes to do that NOW! Your health will be so much better! Congrats to you both!

Back to topic!

Kat

[coffeebreak 0]

I understand I have been working with my insurance and it is not easy. I have to see a dietician for 6 months prior to them considering approval of the lap band surgery. My problem is the dietician listens to me and we talk about what I eat and sets goals. I haven't gained but have not lost. I have asked for diets but she seems to ignore me does anyone have any suggestions.

[U_go_gurl68 0]

I have been considering the lap band for a long time, and attended my first seminar back in January. I went to my PCP, got a referral, got my psychological evaluation, met with the surgeon, and then just... stopped. I think that it was a combination of getting a bunch of confusing insurance statements that made me think I was thousands of dollars in the hole, and a consultation with a bariatrician who seemed to think I would fail no matter what. I decided that I wasn't in the right head space for a lap band.

And yet, several months later-- I have realized that without consciously trying, I've given up carbonated beverages, cut WAY back on alcohol (from 2-3 drinks per night to maybe 1-2 per week), slowed my eating pace, and started eating at home almost all of the time. I've also decided that my health is worth spending money on-- I'm a big saver, and it is very frightening for me to spend money, because I am afraid I will lose control or go bankrupt. However, my husband pointed out to me that my mother does the same thing-- never spends money on herself and is still miserable, and I realized that maybe being happy and healthy is more important than having a big fancy house or high bank balance. And so suddenly, the lap band seems doable again.

Part of me feels like I just needed to take a step back and take some time to decide to move forward, but part of me is still saying that it's selfish, that I'm just lazy and gluttonous and I shouldn't need surgery to lose weight... but those voices are getting quieter.

I guess, after all this rambling, what I really want to know is if anyone else experienced these roller coasters of emotion while going through the process. And if so, how did it work out for you? Any advice or guidance or sharing is very welcome. :thumbup:

I also researched WLS for several years before taking the plunge. I realized no matter what diet or exercise program I tried, I couldn't do it alone. I was so fed up with yo-yo dieting and had to take a really hard look at myself and my reason for failure. Everything was about my inability to control my food intake. I ate because of boredom, depression, for nourishment, for celebration, for getting angry, for just about everything. I felt like I was eating all the time. Most of the time, it wasn't due to actually being hungry. I hated myself because food had more control over me, then I had over anything and everything in my life.

All of the ups and downs were affecting all aspects of my life. I was so tired from all the sugar ups and downs. I felt lazy. I was emotional. I was just a downright MESS. Several months ago, I decided it was time to take control of my life and this DEMON that was causing so much trouble. I had my surgery on June 30th and I turned 40 on July 9th. I feel so much better about myself and my future. I am very hopeful and happy about the life I have ahead of me.

I borrowed from my 401k to fund my surgery and I have to say, it is the best investment I could have made because it was one I made in myself.

I wish you all the best on your Quest for good health and happiness.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

[alabamagirl1975 2]

MaryAnn,

I am exactly where you are right now today. I have gone through so many emotions during my "journey" that I am still wondering "Is all of this really worth it?" I was approved by BCBS back in March but I still have not received a surgery date. I have gone through EVERYTHING they require and I am to the point to just quitting - but then I look into a mirror and I hate what I see. I have to do this. I have come too far not to and it sounds like you have too. You are not going to be thousands of dollars in the hole and I can almost guarantee you do this for yourself - you will not regret it.

[Melody2006 1]

I was lucky that someone at the hospital that I work at told me sence our hospital was also a bariactric center our insurance was doing the lapband package for anyone with our insurance that has a BMI of 40 or over for $250. I was sorta shocked because I never considered lap band before because of the huge cost and I didn't think I qualified. My BMI was 44 at my 1st consultation.

I've worked at that job for 4 years and I wish I was told sooner. Wish I did it sooner. And if I knew then what I knew now and my insurance still wouldn't pay, I'd find a way to self pay and go to Mexico (people are getting top doctors there to do the surgery and all expenses for 2 for $8 grand) and find a fill center near my home that would take someone that was banded in Mexico.

You don't have time to waste, because life is short and things just get more and more expensive. I have a feeling this surgery is going to go up in cost over the next few years if they don't find new things soon.

[U_go_gurl68 0]

With the cost of healthcare, food, gas, and everything else rising, think of all the money you will save in all those areas. With the band you won't be able to eat much, so you will be saving there. You won't be going to the store much for groceries, because your food will last longer since you are eating less. Your health will improve so your healthcare costs may go down and you will save money there. You will spend more of your time actually enjoying life and being healthy and in turn you will actually be saving more than money, you will be saving your life.

[Mrs J.J 2]

It´s a huge step to take, not just the cost involved but the actual realisation that your comfort of food will be taken away from you. I am the kind of person that just does things. I never gave myself any real time to back out of it. ´

Can I just tell you that after being banded for 23 days, I no longer am out of breath when I walk a block or climb the 3 flights of stairs to our apartment. I can feel that I am on the right track and I want to share this surgery experience with every overweight person I see on the street.

NIKE - JUST DO IT! No regrets. Plus, we´re all here to root you on.