How do you hide it?

[peaches76 0]

I am considering the band. I just had my 2nd child 11 weeks ago and don't plan on anymore children. I have always been a bit overweight and want to be thin! I was 140 at my wedding and that is my goal, I am currently 185. I think my biggest fear is how to hide it. I would not tell anyone if I do have the surgery. How do you hide only eating 2 bites of food? ?? I workout 4-5 days a week and I quit soda about 7 years ago, along with french fries. Please give me an example of what you can eat after all the post surgery stuff is done. Will I be able to hide this from everyone?

thanks.

[mshooper 0]

Sweetheart, this is not something that you hide. You are going to have to be really honest with yourself about why you are going this route. Have you spoken to your doctor about any other possible ways to lose weight? The lap band is not a quick fix, one day you get the surgery and the next day you are just eating smaller portions. For the first few weeks after surgery, you are reteaching your stomach and your mind to recognize "full". You will need as much emotional support as possible. If you hide it, then you have no one. Now I'm not saying that you have to shout it from the rooftops that you are banded, but it sounds like you are a bit ashamed of making that decision.

Look around on this site...see what you think. Also, I suggest attending a surgical weight loss seminar in your area. Try going on any hospital's website in your area that does bariatric surgery. They should have classes listed there. Some of the classes are for folks, like yourself, thinking about surgery.

You have to go thru nutrition classes and a psych evaluation before the surgery. This is so you are prepared or the psychologist sees if you are in fact ready for this life changing procedure.

I've been banded one week so far. I'm just drinking shakes and liquids right now. I went to a buffet (I know right) with my family on Sunday. I smelled all that good food, but I ordered a glass of milk and just mixed up my shake right there at the table. You are taking a stand for your life.

I hope I didn't come off harsh because that was definitely not my intention. I just really want you to think about what you are doing.

God bless,

[Sooverit! 1]

I too was 140 most of my life...and 130 5 ft 8 on wedding day..at age 32 you can lose the 40 lbs...just give yourself time after the pregnancies..it took me a year after I gained 75 lbs with my first pregnancy but I lost all of it and some in about a year by exercising land cutting down like you are doing now.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Peaches, are you planning to self pay? You don't have that much weight to lose for an insurance company to pay.

Hardly anyone in my life knows about the band. It really depends on how tight you keep your fill.

I can eat way more than 2 bites of food. Plus when I go out to eat with friends, I know which foods go through the band easily. Feel free to ask questions. It's the only way you're going to learn about banding. I lost weight very slowly so it was not that unusual and people knew I was trying to lose weight.

[Sooverit! 1]

oops forgot to mention peaches that I kept that weight off for 8 years until my 2nd pregnancy at 39 but that weight wouldn't come off. You are ahead of the game since it's your last pregnancy.

[ShrinkyDink 0]

I hear you. I spent a very long time at 170-190 wanting to be 140-150 and it was hard as all get out to lost more than 10 pounds or so. I do wish I had gotten more serious about it in some way at that point instead of letting it get to where I am now. Not sure that surgery would have been the right thing for me then, but that doesn't mean it's not right for you. Talk to your doctor about it, I'm sure you will be able to get some great advice personalized for you that way.

As for hiding it, I'm in the same boat, I only intend to tell a few people closest to me because I want to be as normal as possible and not have every conversation I have over a meal from now on to be about my surgery. I know this will be a challenge but I do intend to keep it low key if I can, not so much to hide it but just because it's personal. So I'd like to hear the answer to your question also, how "normal" can our eating be after this procedure?

[Julescincy75 0]

Hi Peaches!!

You know, initially - I was not going to tell anyone but my Mom, Sister and a close friend - but, I find the more I tell people - the easier it becomes. I figure it's not like they are going to respond, "Oh, Gosh Julie, never knew you were overweight - but, now that you mention it - I guess you are!" :biggrin: In my mind - it's a tool - no different than my sister's diabetic pump that she wears on her hip, which she was so self-consious to wear of initially. But, if she wants to live - it's vital, it's her lifeline.

I suppose that I'm proud I'm doing something about it - everyone I've told has been SOOOO incredibly supportive!! Now when someone asks me out to lunch, it's not a big deal when I tell them we have to go somewhere where I can get something mushie!!

One odd thing I've come across - it's funny how "thin-lifers" haven't even heard of the lap band. Seems like being overweight - I watched/researched EVERYTHING related to dieting, exercising, surgeries, etc...guess it never caught their attention.

Best of luck to you!!! In the end - you have to do what you're most comfortable with. It's amazing how that level of "comfort" changes as we change.

Julie

[peaches76 0]

My husband is going to meet with the consultant with me on Wednesday, I met with her last week. I want to have the surgury (less invasive than lipo-right?). I want to have my body not be an issue with "me" anymore. My self image is not like it used to be and my confidence level has gone down. Of course my husband and immediate family will know about the surgery, I just don't want any one else to know. I guess I am embarrassed that I am resorting to surgery. It would be easier for me to say I am getting Lipo or a tuck. I am not overly obese so, yes, I am paying cash for the surgery. I guess it is good to hear that the loss is gradual so it doesn't raise any eyebrows. Everybody that knows me, knows that I am always concerned about weight. Can this be my secret or will it get out???

[Shauna80 0]

I am considering the band. I just had my 2nd child 11 weeks ago and don't plan on anymore children. I have always been a bit overweight and want to be thin! I was 140 at my wedding and that is my goal, I am currently 185. I think my biggest fear is how to hide it. I would not tell anyone if I do have the surgery. How do you hide only eating 2 bites of food??? I workout 4-5 days a week and I quit soda about 7 years ago, along with french fries. Please give me an example of what you can eat after all the post surgery stuff is done. Will I be able to hide this from everyone?

thanks.

Girl, I am feeling the same way you do! I have only 80-85 pounds, but I am not fully comfortable telling people about my decision to do this. I feel this is a personal thing, and its really no one elses business! I may feel different when I have it done, but at this point only a handful of people know about this. I am not sure if I am going to be able to hide it, but I will only tell the people I am comfortable telling....I will let the others whisper and envy:thumbup:

[dairydawg 0]

Peaches, I could have written your post (except I am weighing a little more to start with:rolleyes:).

However, I think some of the other posters are wrong.

First of all, you absolutely can hide the fact that you have a band. I am getting the band on Aug. 6 and no one will know except my parents, my in-laws, and my husband. And I mean that. My husband was banded last Sept. and no one knows. He "covers" his weight loss by telling everyone with truth with an omission. He tells people that he finally got tired of being overweight and that he decided to eat less and move more. I think that if you decide to tell no one, then you stick to it. I have every intention of doing just that.

Also, I don't see a need to "wait" for the baby weight to come off. When you know you are ready for the band, you are ready. It doesn't matter if you have 150 pounds to loose or 30 pounds.

As for explaining little bites, just tell people you aren't that hungry or that your stomach hurts or what ever else you can think of. I have been surprised how "normal" my husband's eating "looks" since getting the band.

I say - Go for it. Don't tell anyone. And feel good about doing about.

Anna

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Honesty, hardly anyone knows about my band. I didn't want people saying "how much have you lost now" I also don't like people knowing I paid 10 grand to lose weight.

I just went out to lunch with 6 other women on Sat. and none of them have a clue. They know I have lost a lot of weight over the last year and a half but I tell them the truth. I have changed my eating habits, I exercise 6 days a week and I changed my portion sizes. This weight loss was not overnight.

It's also pretty important that you don't keep your band tight if this is how you want to go. It's the puking that gives people away. I was too tight for about a week and had to live on Soup but I just told people I had a late lunch, or I wasn't feeling well. I wasn't feeling well when my band was too tight.

[crzytchr 3]

It is strictly personal decision whether or not to hide the fact that you are banded. Personally, I don't mind telling anyone. Maybe if I do well, it will help someone else to make positive changes.

I think hiding it may be difficult during your liquid phases. After that just say you are watching your portion sizes. Good luck!

[pstroud100 1]

The idea of who to tell and who not to tell is a big decision. I have not hid the fact that I am going through the steps of surgery to any one. However, I have had both good and bad looks given to me. My dad and sisters tell me to "just push myself away from the table". My mom, husband, and inlaws are fully supportive. I have not let the negative comments sway my judgement on having surgery. NOBODY knows what I have been through. I know that when I made my mind up to lose weight and become healthy it was a life changing event and I am not looking back. I am ready for surgery. If you want the surgery and you are ready for that lifestyle change then dont worry about what others may think about you. In the end your happiness and health is the only thing that matters. I wish you well in your journey. Page

[moriah 0]

I am also planning to do this surgery and I don't plan on anyone knowing except my husband and mother. I also thought - how to hide it because the portions are so little - I like the idea to say change of diet habits and smaller portions etc. exercise.

No one else needs to know I think many people have a negative attitude towards surgery to lose weight. I know it shouldn't bother me what other people think - but it does - I have such low self esteem. People can be the nicest and wonderful and smart and they are overlooked because of their appearance.

Good luck in your journey I cant wait to start mine.

Moriah

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Hi Peaches. I've been banded over three months now. I didn't tell anyone other than immediate family and my boss that I was having the surgery. To me it was a very personal decision and honestly I found most people or ignorant of the band and therefore mostly negative. I really didn't want to hear the negativity. I was doing this for me and no one else - they weren't changing my mind. I had to defend my decision to my family and they love me unconditionally. I couldn't imagine having to do it to co-workers and friends.

Now after I had the surgery - I really didn't care who knew. Most people know I have the surgery now. I've found the majority are 100% supportive of my decision. There are always those few who think they know everything and are judgemental. "You could have done it on your own". "Just eat less", etc. I just ignore them.

Good luck with your decision. No one will know you are banded unless you choose to tell them. I eat a lot less than I did before my band, but more than you referenced. I go out to eat and live a normal life. The band has definately changed my life though. I now eat to live rather than live to eat.