Lack of support? Taunted with food?

[Melody2006 1]

Overall my family has been supportive. But the last two days have been hard. I'm 5 days post opt and I haven't had real food since I can't even remember. considering the 10 day liquid diet and now full liquids for 2 weeks.

Well the people in my house made pizza for dinner and had company over. I'm sorta hiding out in my bedroom dying inside because I can't eat what they know is my favorite meal and I can't get to the kitchen to get my own food with out bring attention to myself and not being able to eat.

This is way tougher than I thought it was going to be. We are all over weight in this house and I brought it up to one of them and they said, " What do you just expect us to stop eating completely?" I was ticked off. I mean, hey..be considerate. Anyone else have moments like this? I feel like leaving and going to get a milkshake threw a drive thru but I'd only be hurting myself, so I'm venting here because I can't be the only one.

[auntlucy 22]

Melody, hang in there! You are definitely not alone in your feelings. Visualize how great it will feel when you are eating healthier food and losing weight! Think about some of your goals (wheter running in a 5K or fitting into a certain size) and visualize yourself achieving them. Think about the future long-term satisfaction you will feel rather than the short-term pleasure you might feel from a couple of slices of pizza. You can do this! You also said that everyone in your house is overweight....think about the example you are going to be for them. You should be very proud of yourself for handling this in a constructive way by venting here rather than going for the milkshake!

[bluesea-lvr 0]

Hey at least you're helping yourself and they are just hurting themselves..hang in there I know it's tough, everytime I've been on a diet my family ate foods I loved too but you've already started on the right path stay with it...besides you know if you have anything else right now you will get sick....They are going to be so jealous of you when you're skinny...

[Desdemona 48]

Ugh!!! I'm really sorry to hear this. I can understand why you are upset with them. Please don't take your frustation with THEM out on your poor body. Stick up for YOU -- by being the 1 person who right now who really understands your inner child. Take care of her. Maybe you can think about who in your family will be the best one to sit down and have a real heart to heart talk with tomorrow once the pizza stops flying and they have returned to their senses and love for you. Is there someone in your house who would be particularly good at helping you work out a plan for making this easier the next time they all have a food party. I do realize that they live there 2 and will still want to have food parties and company -- but there just has to be a better way to deal with these difficult situations and I'll bet someone there will help you. Good luck sweeite.:ohmy:

[mrsgriffin2u 1]

I feel the exact same way right now. This has been so hard emotionally! Right after my surgery, my mom was in town to help, so my husband and mom made nice dinners every night. Then I went to Illinois with family to recover and they had a family gathering every night, which centered around food. I explained to them, as I teared up out of jealousy, that this proves why I needed this surgery. Our family focuses so much on food (we're all overweight) and I wanted to be the first to break that cycle.

Good luck. I can tell you that each day gets easier, but I still battle with my addiction to food. I don't know if that will ever change, but I sure hope so! :ohmy:

[bas 0]

You are such a difficult stage right now only having the full liquids. Just hang in there! Be good to YOURSELF like the other person said. In just a short time you'll be able to have real food again, and that makes it easier to be around other people while they're eating .... except you get to make the RIGHT food choices!

Be strong - for YOU!

[kaytay12 0]

Hello all...since going thru over 4 months of testing, getting approved, going thru 2 weeks pre-op liquids and finally surgery on May 29th, I'm down 17 pounds. My frustration after one fill with a total of 7 cc. in the band, is how I've plateaued so quickly. I can't seem to budge. Plus I don't have much of a sensation of fullness. I've had a couple of episodes right after the first fill where I threw up. bread is not my friend at all. I eat small portions. I also drink lots of apple juice, is this a possible culprit? Everything I search says that apple juice is fine as long as it's 100% juice. I do drink the Protein Shake in the morning with no sugars, etc. I have crackers sometimes with Peanut Butter, cheesesticks, a little Pasta and tried small bites of pork chop yesterday with no problems. I'm just not able to notice when I'm full. I wonder if I need another fill. I find myself grazing more often these last few days. I haven't started exercising yet and frankly hate it. Here in Texas the temps. are over 100 everday. I've never exercised so getting that started isn't something I'm motivated to go. I can't afford a gym membership at this time. I'm still considering getting an elyptical machine. Any words of wisdom?

Thank you all for any encouragement!!

[bas 0]

If you eat protien first (real protien, not liquid protein) that it makes you feel full longer because it stays in your stomach longer.

I'd stop drinking the apple juice (just my recommendation). Lots of carbs in apple juice ... and stay away from the bread and Pasta and have veggies instead. That should rev up your weight loss!

Good luck!

[Melody2006 1]

I vented here and bypassed the milkshake I wanted to go pout with. When the company left I had a heart to heart with my family. I let them know I didn't realize the band was going to be this hard. No one tell you your going to go a month with out real food right before and right after the surgery and thats gonna equal a very rough month. No one mentions the liquids is the hardest part.

[Jachut 487]

Forgive me, but I really think expecting others around you to not eat things you find tempting is a little unreasonable.

Its difficult, yes, but its your journey, not theirs. In the end, you have to learn to live in a world full of temptations and make good choices, it may as well start right now. The basic fact is that if you dont want to be fat then you cant afford to eat the way most people these days do.

Sorry if that's harsh, but only your world revolves around you, to everyone else, their life is going on as normal and they are not going to stop eating just because you have. There's many of us who had to do this whole liquid diet thing and still feed a family. I couldnt put them all on a liquid diet along with me!

Hang in there, the rewards will be more than worth it in the long run.

[Donna113 2]

Hello all...since going thru over 4 months of testing, getting approved, going thru 2 weeks pre-op liquids and finally surgery on May 29th, I'm down 17 pounds. My frustration after one fill with a total of 7 cc. in the band, is how I've plateaued so quickly. I can't seem to budge. Plus I don't have much of a sensation of fullness. I've had a couple of episodes right after the first fill where I threw up. bread is not my friend at all. I eat small portions. I also drink lots of apple juice, is this a possible culprit? Everything I search says that apple juice is fine as long as it's 100% juice. I do drink the Protein shake in the morning with no sugars, etc. I have crackers sometimes with Peanut Butter, cheesesticks, a little Pasta and tried small bites of pork chop yesterday with no problems. I'm just not able to notice when I'm full. I wonder if I need another fill. I find myself grazing more often these last few days. I haven't started exercising yet and frankly hate it. Here in Texas the temps. are over 100 everday. I've never exercised so getting that started isn't something I'm motivated to go. I can't afford a gym membership at this time. I'm still considering getting an elyptical machine. Any words of wisdom?

Thank you all for any encouragement!!

I thought bread, past and rice were forbidden? At least they are on the forbidden list fron Dr. Spivak's office.

[mrsgriffin2u 1]

Forgive me, but I really think expecting others around you to not eat things you find tempting is a little unreasonable.

Its difficult, yes, but its your journey, not theirs. In the end, you have to learn to live in a world full of temptations and make good choices, it may as well start right now. The basic fact is that if you dont want to be fat then you cant afford to eat the way most people these days do.

Sorry if that's harsh, but only your world revolves around you, to everyone else, their life is going on as normal and they are not going to stop eating just because you have. There's many of us who had to do this whole liquid diet thing and still feed a family. I couldnt put them all on a liquid diet along with me!

Hang in there, the rewards will be more than worth it in the long run.

You definitely are right, however, it doesn't make it much easier. I completely understand that we have done this to lose weight and get healthty. I did this to end the cycle of overweight people in my family and start changing the diet in my household. My husband has almost done a 180 since my surgery and is going back to his old habits we've worked so hard to break in the last 6 months. He is also very overweight. It's almost as if he is rebelling against what I'm doing. And while it's difficult to see him do that to himself, it's also difficult for me to see/smell what he is eating. It's like an alcoholic going into a bar who has quit drinking. It's a good thing that they have stopped drinking, but it doesn't take that pain away when they're around other people who drink. The hardest part is an alcoholic can usually distance themselves from alcohol, but we have to be around food for the rest of our life. For some of us, our willpower is still not at 100% and that's something we will struggle with, but conquer!

I guess my point is, we don't expect others to not eat around us. That's not what she was getting at, she was just expressing a feeling of what a lot of us are going thru - getting over the emotional tie we have to the food that got us this way. You are right though and made very valid points. Thanks! :ohmy:

[melaniematters 0]

Hello all...since going thru over 4 months of testing, getting approved, going thru 2 weeks pre-op liquids and finally surgery on May 29th, I'm down 17 pounds. My frustration after one fill with a total of 7 cc. in the band, is how I've plateaued so quickly. I can't seem to budge. Plus I don't have much of a sensation of fullness. I've had a couple of episodes right after the first fill where I threw up. bread is not my friend at all. I eat small portions. I also drink lots of apple juice, is this a possible culprit? Everything I search says that apple juice is fine as long as it's 100% juice. I do drink the Protein shake in the morning with no sugars, etc. I have crackers sometimes with Peanut Butter, cheesesticks, a little Pasta and tried small bites of pork chop yesterday with no problems. I'm just not able to notice when I'm full. I wonder if I need another fill. I find myself grazing more often these last few days. I haven't started exercising yet and frankly hate it. Here in Texas the temps. are over 100 everday. I've never exercised so getting that started isn't something I'm motivated to go. I can't afford a gym membership at this time. I'm still considering getting an elyptical machine. Any words of wisdom?

Thank you all for any encouragement!!

Apple juice is basically liquid sugar - get some lo-cal apple cordial (concentrate) and add Water if you want the juice taste. Juice is a real cause of childhood obesity as parents think if its 100% natural juice it's okay. Hope that helps, all the best, Melanie

[kaytay12 0]

You definitely are right, however, it doesn't make it much easier. I completely understand that we have done this to lose weight and get healthty. I did this to end the cycle of overweight people in my family and start changing the diet in my household. My husband has almost done a 180 since my surgery and is going back to his old habits we've worked so hard to break in the last 6 months. He is also very overweight. It's almost as if he is rebelling against what I'm doing. And while it's difficult to see him do that to himself, it's also difficult for me to see/smell what he is eating. It's like an alcoholic going into a bar who has quit drinking. It's a good thing that they have stopped drinking, but it doesn't take that pain away when they're around other people who drink. The hardest part is an alcoholic can usually distance themselves from alcohol, but we have to be around food for the rest of our life. For some of us, our willpower is still not at 100% and that's something we will struggle with, but conquer!

I guess my point is, we don't expect others to not eat around us. That's not what she was getting at, she was just expressing a feeling of what a lot of us are going thru - getting over the emotional tie we have to the food that got us this way. You are right though and made very valid points. Thanks! :crying:

Hi Amanda, I so appreciate your kind reply to Melody. While some have reached their goal with no looking back, it is a bit harder for the rest of us with major food issues. Add in there our families who do no changing at all. Smells and deprivation are so terribly hard to deal with. We have to work thru this on a daily basis. Yes, our families are not required to do what we are doing and we understand that in heart & mind, but not always easy to do with weak willpower. My husband is an avid BBQ'r and cooks for large numbers of people at our church. We also have a group that he loves to try new things on and they love everything he cooks. I constantly have BBQ Sauce, various meats, side dishes, etc...around me alot. Cook-outs and smells are a norm in my house. It's very difficult. I find that I get angry and resentful. I know it's not his fault, but just want it to go away. Like you said, with an alcoholic they have to distance themselves from the problem. Food is no different. It happens to be our addiction. If it were drugs or alcohol or smoking then it's more understood. So it is a daily struggle to overcome this addiction. It's one day at a time with God's help.

[aubrie 6]

When my family pulls this kind of crap on me, I can usually handle it. On the occasions that I can't, I go for a walk, sit on the back patio and read, or make myself something nice and eat when they eat. For example, banana splits at Sonic are a routine thing...... If it's torturing me at that moment, I have a sugar free popsicle. It's not the same, but it definatley takes the edge off of that emotional burst. I have to remind myself that I'm the one making the change.... Not them.