Been having a very hard time..

[babsyintx 0]

Hi Everyone,

I have been gone for a while. Last Tuesday morning, I found out that my father in law died. I flew to FL with my kids and my hubby. I arranged the funeral, service and also the "at sea" ashes distribution. My father in law was cremated and this was his wish. I also organized a service at the ELks llodge in St. Augustine FL. I packed up my mother in law last Saturday. My husband flew home with the kids and I stayed and finished packing. My mother in law did not want to throw anything out and it took me two days to pack up a one bedroom apartment. We donated the furniture to charity.

I drove the two of us back in her minivan with all her worldly belongings. It was a 12oo mile drive and it took me three days to complete it.

As you know I quit smoking in preparation for my upcoming plastic surgery in June. Surprisingly enough, I have remained cigarette free since May 4th, even though I was sure a few times from the stress that I would start again.

I did gain 6 pounds from eating buffets and restaurant food for the last two weeks. I am sure some of my intense hunger is because I have quit smoking and some of it is because I am taking Welbutrin to help me to quit and a lot of it is stress eating. I have since gotten myself back on track and hope to be back where I was before I left.

My mother in law is staying with us until Tuesday next week. We found her a great place in a retirement community that she really likes. She is not accustomed to cooking since she was previously living in an independent living community that provided 3 meals a day in the dining area. Naturally, she expects me to cook meals and she refuses to drive even though she has a car and drivers license. I do understand that she is going through a tough time. She was married for 46 years and this cant be easy for her. She keeps making me feel guilty though. She threatens to jump off a pier, she slaps herself when she makes a mistake or talks too much and constantly tells me how guilty she feels that she is a burden to us. The truth is she is a burden, but I understand that this is temporary. She can be quite demanding and the demands start at 7:00 am until 9:00 pm in the evening. She wont even get herself a cup of coffee or attempt to do anything for herself. I did her laundry yesterday, made all her meals, cleaned up after her , bought her new furniture and household goods, took her to a dozen different retirement communities and wheeled her around in a wheelchair even though she has never needed assistance in her life to walk.

Anyway, I am ranting here. I am glad to be back. I am also waiting for my insurance appeal for the medial thighplasty to come through. I called my insurance company and legally they only have five more days to give me answer in regards to the external appeal that I asked for with a board certified plastic surgeon. So although I am definitely having plastic surgery, I dont know whether it will be only the stomach, or the stomach and the boobs, or all three at one time. I am really frustrated.

Babs in TX

[Jonathan 5]

Babs,

I'm sorry for all the stress you're going through. PLEASE watch your weight very carefully. I gained 60 lbs in 2 months when I started taking Welbutrin. I don't think that kind of weight gain would be possible with the band, but it was horrible for me. My brother also gained about 60 lbs while on Welbutrin.

If you think you're gaining weight because of it, don't be afraid to ask your doctor to switch you to something else. I take Cymbalta now, and it's perfect for me. Everyone's different of course, and you may be fine with it. I just know it was a direct cause of a massive weight gain for me.

Jonathan

[a_bit_pink 0]

babs - sorry to hear about your loss

keep up the cool work

[HarleyNana 10]

Sounds like a stressful week. Sorry to hear about your FL. It will get better, hang in there.

[leatha_g 4]

I gained 30lbs in 30 days with wellbutrin as well. I hated it! I'm taking Cymbalta now too.. So far so good.

[BandSupporter 2]

Wow! Intresting & sad. I'm so sorry for you, but remember help is soon on the way. Hang in there and do what you gotta do until its time for her to leave. You will get you're blessing despite of how pesty she may get.

[Debbydo 0]

Babs (((HUGS))))),

Take a deep breathe.

Wishing you a better next week than last.

I hope you MIL will get settled quickly and find some friends at her new place. It must be horrible to lose a spouse, apartment and being around close friends all at the same time.

Patiences and kindness

Hang in there

Debby

[the best me 6]

God Bless you, Babs, for taking on the responsibilities you have recently. You will not regret having done any of this, even the over-and-beyond the call of duty things such as maid service, waitress, concierge, butler, driver, life planner, mover, "event" planner, housekeeper, heck, you might even end up doing some butt-wiping by the time the day is done! By the sounds of it, you have a gift of service to others unmatched by any hired help you might be able to find. Your mother-in-law is fortunate to have you, and if she is not in a place where she can thank you without a guilt trip, just let me say thank you on her behalf. You are a treasure for treating her like one, even when it's hard.

And you never fired one up. I am in awe. Well done.

[Guest suzyj]

I am so sorry you lost your father in law. I lost my father in December and I miss him every day. Hang in there. You are doing so great and I know quitting smoking is hard so give yourself a pat on the back and a hug, you are great! Your mom in law sounds like a pest, but this too shall pass and soon she will be in her new place and you will have your life back. I am a newbie, and I am just amazed at your weight loss, you have done a great job! You are inspiring!

[paula 4]

OMGosh Babs... talk about stressful! You have a many transitions happening at one time.

And I truly send you my condolences on behalf of you father-in-law.

Now, about the MIL, just remember - this is only temporary!

THank God you have a job (outlet)... cant imagine staying 24/7 in the same house as my MIL - or ANY other adult woman!

[Alexandra 55]

Condolences from me, too, Babs. Sounds like a very rough time, but this too shall pass. Congratulations on staying smoke-free!! That's going to get easier and easier and you'll have so much to be proud of. Good luck with everything!

[babsyintx 0]

Hi,

Jonathan and Leatha : I have been on the Wellbutrin for many months now (3 months). I was planning on attempting to quit smoking a while ago, but did not commit until 3 weeks ago. I have not lost any weight since I started with it and I have been having trouble to maintain my weight. I really dont need an anti depressant. IT was for the cessation of smoking. Now that I have accomplished this, perhaps I should just wean myself off and not pick a new medication. I believe the hard part is over on the quitting smoking issue.

Thanks for all the hugs.

Babs in TX

[babsyintx 0]

Hi Again:

Paula: I do have a job but I work from home, so no escape really from the MIL. Its just a couple more days. Then she is in her new home and I am off to Cancun with the family for 9 days of sun and fun. And as for the rest of the summer, I will be in compression garments from head to toe!!!! No swimming or sunbathing for a few months after the plastic surgery!

Babs in TX

[Jonathan 5]

Hi,

Jonathan and Leatha : I have been on the Wellbutrin for many months now (3 months). I was planning on attempting to quit smoking a while ago, but did not commit until 3 weeks ago. I have not lost any weight since I started with it and I have been having trouble to maintain my weight. I really dont need an anti depressant. IT was for the cessation of smoking. Now that I have accomplished this, perhaps I should just wean myself off and not pick a new medication. I believe the hard part is over on the quitting smoking issue.

Thanks for all the hugs.

Babs in TX

I had to recheck my records -- it *wasn't* Welbutrin that caused weight gain for me, it was Lexapro. And weaning myself off of it was the hardest thing in the world. I took it for 2 months and it took me 4+ months to get off of it without having debilitating headaches and a complete and utter ability to cope.

Welbutrin didn't have any ill side-effects for me that I noticed; it just didn't work for me.

So, I may not have the insight that you're looking for.

Sorry about that, but thanks for giving me a chance to set the record straight.

Jonathan

[NancySmiles 2]

I hear that God doesn't give you more than you can handle....and it's true. H truly knows how strong you are and it's only a test.....sounds to me like you are passing with flying colors!!! Even though it doesn't seem so right now...there is an end in sight!!! And you have definitely earned your angel wings!!! Not many can do what you are doing without going totally insane!!! And to lose 6 pounds after quitting smoking, driving 1200 miles with your mother in law, and going through a funeral and taking care of all that!!?!!?!? HOLY COW!!! You actually really deserve sainthood!!! The 6 pounds will go away PLUS more after all this stress is gone....and you will be much better for it!!!

Your mother-in-law is going through all the typical stages of grief and once she is back on her own and with people her own age, she will start to do for herself again....and will feel better about herself.... She needed someone to take it out on and unfortunately...we only hurt the ones we love....she WILL remember all you've done for you....may not be right now...but she will!

hang in there Babs....you can do this and WILL!!!

Hugs....

Nancy

Hi Everyone,

I have been gone for a while. Last Tuesday morning, I found out that my father in law died. I flew to FL with my kids and my hubby. I arranged the funeral, service and also the "at sea" ashes distribution. My father in law was cremated and this was his wish. I also organized a service at the ELks llodge in St. Augustine FL. I packed up my mother in law last Saturday. My husband flew home with the kids and I stayed and finished packing. My mother in law did not want to throw anything out and it took me two days to pack up a one bedroom apartment. We donated the furniture to charity.

I drove the two of us back in her minivan with all her worldly belongings. It was a 12oo mile drive and it took me three days to complete it.

As you know I quit smoking in preparation for my upcoming plastic surgery in June. Surprisingly enough, I have remained cigarette free since May 4th, even though I was sure a few times from the stress that I would start again.

I did gain 6 pounds from eating buffets and restaurant food for the last two weeks.

My mother in law is staying with us until Tuesday next week. We found her a great place in a retirement community that she really likes. She is not accustomed to cooking since

I do understand that she is going through a tough time. She was married for 46 years and this cant be easy for her. She keeps making me feel guilty though. She threatens to jump off a pier, she slaps herself when she makes a mistake or talks too much and constantly tells me how guilty she feels that she is a burden to us. The truth is she is a burden, but I understand that this is temporary. She can be quite demanding and the demands start at 7:00 am until 9:00 pm in the evening. She wont even get herself a cup of coffee or attempt to do anything for herself. I did her laundry yesterday, made all her meals, cleaned up after her , bought her new furniture and household goods, took her to a dozen different retirement communities and wheeled her around in a wheelchair even though she has never needed assistance in her life to walk.

I am really frustrated.

Babs in TX