Surgery.... AGH!!!!

islandgurl · July 13, 2008

My mother(61) called today and told me that when I was home for a month in Sept. she would pay for me to have the lap-band surgery done if I wanted it. She then said she wanted me(32) to live longer than her and she was doing this for my health. Of course I immediately started crying. Weight problems have pluaged me since I was a kid and I am FINALLY ok with who I am... with a few setbacks of course- I live in the Virgin Islands and ALL my friends look better in a swimsuit than me. I digress. I'm scared to death of surgery. I want it, I do but I have a fear that I can't explain! HELP!!!!!!:party::tt2::eek::drool::tt1::tt1:

Kat817 · July 13, 2008

First of all, that is wonderful your Mom is so understanding and generous with you!!! Not everyone is so lucky!

I would however encourage her to possibly visit you, and allow you to have your surgery close to where YOU live so that your followup and fills would not be a hardship.

You also might want to consider that, as some Dr.'s do not include fills in the cost----who will pay for that, and can you afford them if it is you.

It IS worth skimping some here and there for the surgery---I LOVE my band!!! I just wanted to alert you to some things to think about, and to discuss with your Mom.

Congrats on the first step to being healthy!!!

Kat

vegasgirl44 · July 13, 2008

islandgurl, it sounds as though you are not sure this is something you want. You have to be absolutely certain that this is what you want, or you won't even enjoy the entire process. Let me tell you, I went to my first seminar 10 years ago at 36. I decided I wasn't ready to lose all my hair and give up Coke. Then last year, I scheduled 2 times to go to the seminar and backed out twice because something "more important" came up. Then in December, I visited my family in Oklahoma, and my brother had had surgery last April 07. He had several co-morbidities and weighed about 450 lbs. It probably saved his life. I sat there at 320 and felt like a failure in the room, but still not ready to take the plunge. Then a few weeks ago, I just had that straw that broke the camels back, went to the seminar, and never looked back. And now weeks later, I'm still gung-ho and I won't find out my surgery date until this Tuesday. I went to that seminar ready to have my hair fall out and give up Coke, and then was excited at the prospect of having the LapBand. It felt so right to me. I never felt more sure about anything in my entire life. And that's what you need to feel. That you don't care anymore about what anybody thinks about you but YOU! Because deep inside, it's all about YOU, not anybody else. Your mother has given you a gift. A wonderful gift. If you decide to take the gift, then that is your decision. She is not going to make you take the gift. I know that if I had a daughter, I would do the same thing if I could. She won't stop loving you if you decide not to do it. And, if you decide not to, don't worry. Revisit the idea a little down the road, and in the meantime, go to some support groups. I believe they will help you put things into perspective better for you. By the way, I would not be able to do this if I had not asked my mother to cosign my loan, as I am self pay, a single mother, and just finished school with a $40,000 school loan under my belt. I am so grateful that she will do this for me. Be happy and good luck to you! Bonnie

flowers · July 13, 2008

I agree, sounds like this is what you mom wants not you. You say you are finally comfortable with who you are, which doesnt sound like you are in a place where you are ready to do the work with the band that it will still entail to lose the weight. You can eat around the band and then its useless. Ice cream as they say slides right down.

caybachman · July 13, 2008

Do you and I have the same mother??? It must be a thing of those born in the 1940's and staying thin...they think it is so easy!!! Keep your chin up and do it for you when YOU are ready!!

Kat817 · July 14, 2008

islandgurl, it sounds as though you are not sure this is something you want. You have to be absolutely certain that this is what you want, or you won't even enjoy the entire process. Let me tell you, I went to my first seminar 10 years ago at 36. I decided I wasn't ready to lose all my hair and give up Coke. Then last year, I scheduled 2 times to go to the seminar and backed out twice because something "more important" came up. Then in December, I visited my family in Oklahoma, and my brother had had surgery last April 07. He had several co-morbidities and weighed about 450 lbs. It probably saved his life. I sat there at 320 and felt like a failure in the room, but still not ready to take the plunge. Then a few weeks ago, I just had that straw that broke the camels back, went to the seminar, and never looked back. And now weeks later, I'm still gung-ho and I won't find out my surgery date until this Tuesday. I went to that seminar ready to have my hair fall out and give up Coke, and then was excited at the prospect of having the LapBand. It felt so right to me. I never felt more sure about anything in my entire life. And that's what you need to feel. That you don't care anymore about what anybody thinks about you but YOU! Because deep inside, it's all about YOU, not anybody else. Your mother has given you a gift. A wonderful gift. If you decide to take the gift, then that is your decision. She is not going to make you take the gift. I know that if I had a daughter, I would do the same thing if I could. She won't stop loving you if you decide not to do it. And, if you decide not to, don't worry. Revisit the idea a little down the road, and in the meantime, go to some support groups. I believe they will help you put things into perspective better for you. By the way, I would not be able to do this if I had not asked my mother to cosign my loan, as I am self pay, a single mother, and just finished school with a $40,000 school loan under my belt. I am so grateful that she will do this for me. Be happy and good luck to you! Bonnie

This is all true, you do need to be sure to do this for YOU! Not because it is what your Mom thinks is right for you. However attending the seminar now and hearing the info is still a good thing, the less years you spend obese, the better off you will be.

And just to clarify-- you will likely lose some hair, NOT however all of your hair! I have done both!! I lost every hair on my body I believe with chemotherapy--and also lost hair when I was banded, and lost nowhere near all of it!! It affected the hair on my head only, not my lashes or anything else like before.

Some lose none, others have a drastic loss, coming close to say 50%----but I have never heard of anyone losing it all.

Listen with a total open heart and mind to the seminar, and be sure this is something you are ready to do prior to agreeing.

Surgery is a big step, it was a simple surgery for me, and for most bandsters I believe, but state of mind has a lot to do with it. Most of us are so ready for change that by the time surgery rolls around, we are ready to do it ourselves!!!

Be honest with yourself in making your decision.

Kat

flowers · July 14, 2008

I must be in the minority here. I did Nutrisystem and lost 80 lbs and didnt lose any hair, why would this be different?? Of course I gained all the 80 lbs back and found a few extras when my Dad's health became uncertain last winter. You wouldnt think I could put the weight back on so fast. Thats why I decided to do this. I just refuse to weight this much and admit I have little will power. I need the lapband's help.

.... but I have no worries about losing my hair? ?!! Why would you with the lapband?? Are some not getting enough Protein or something??

vegasgirl44 · July 14, 2008

you know, several people who have the gastric bypass lose hair. I think it's the lack of nutrients--you can't get as much in, or they just don't follow diet exactly. Not sure, but my hairdresser did lose some of her hair. I figured with the band, it wouldn't be that bad. However, I have heard of some people getting thin hair. I hope it doesn't happen to me, but if it does, I guess it's just a good excuse to go shopping and buy a hairpiece or wig! I'd rather wear a cute hairpiece than be fat, and that's the decision I made.

Kat817 · July 14, 2008

Like I said, some do not lose any at all----others do, and there seems to be no common cause. I know personally I lost hair with Atkins, which is all Protein, and I kept my Protein up with the band and still went through a point from about 4 months post op to about 11 months post op that ir fell out badly! I blamed it on the sudden dietary changes, but I truly have nothing to base that on!!

I have never opted for tight restriction, and have always concentrated on healthy eating as opposed to amounts, or a certain diet.

The loss stopped as quickly as it started, and it is growing like mad again, and seems healthier than ever. THe diet changes did not affect my nails or anything else----just head Hair loss.< /strong>

No idea why....I tried Biotin, and zinc.....have always taken good multi Vitamins, and taken in a healthy amount of fats.....my blood work ups showed no deficiencies.....so maybe stress played into it, learning not to eat all day everyday!!

Hope none of you experience it at all!!!

Kat

islandgurl · July 15, 2008

Yesterday was the day we 1st discussed it and I was in freak out mode and needed some consolation- which I got!:confused_smile: Thanks everyone for your comments. This site is so helpful for all of my questions. I'm gonna do some more research and then talk to the doctor on the phone tomorrow and see if its feasible.