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Guest Leslie2Lose

Gwen - girl of course you are counted in!!! Turler and I were both on the 10th - I didn't mean to leave you out. I'm still dealing with head issues too. It's hard to change a lifetime ritual into a new habit. Time makes it easier for me.

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LOL- I know you'd never leave me out of an anniversary, but the same day! You're really bandster twins. When I started on the April forum, I felt you guys were my big sisters as you had a couple of weeks of symptons, stories and experience on me. It was great having all the feedback.

Gosh- don't you just love this support board?

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Guest Leslie2Lose

Gwen - I do love this board. It seems like the three of us have stuck together. So many of us Avengers have stopped posting. I don't know if that is good or bad. I'm hoping for the good. I was a lurker for a while (before I was banded) and eventually started posting.

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Gwen/Leslie- Yeah, we three musketeers can stick together! I've noticed too that our group doesn't post much. Some of the groups have formed life long friendships and even travel to see eachother! That is awesome! I don't know where everyone is...hope we didn't bore them to death or gross them out with our PB'ing stories! LOL

I too love this board. I think it was more fun in the beginning though. I was always researching and looking for something new. Now I'm just trying to keep up with the many pages of posts I have to read to stay with the program! I kind of feel like there isn't a place for the unsuccessful, or the marvelously successful here though. I struggle more than I would have ever guessed I would. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. It's like you either are amazing at it, or you should just go. I don't know why I feel like that. I wish I didn't. I still stay though. I'm not ready to leave! I want to be amazing too!!!! LOL

~C

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First of all, anyone who goes through this process is a big winner. I truly believe that and I'm no Pollyanna. I do agree that when one is researching and asking quesitons and sharing symptoms the boards have greater relevence. And I dropped out for a couple of weeks. I could again. But I need a place to keep it "real". A place where everyone is me. Slow or fast, we're all very connected. I actually have found another place to go on the boards. As I'm in my 50s I hit the age group forum and it's kind of interesting because there we're all going through lots of similar life issues. It has a mix of new people and old and it's important to pass along knowledge to those just starting out. I've never been got at journaling. I get bored talking to myself, so when I hit the boards it's a form of journaling as well.

I was on the South Beach Board for over a year when I was on the diet. That's four years ago and I have two groups of friends from it. A few that I post to now and then, and 3 women who have really become my "sisters". It's nearly four years and we still write almost daily. I think that's the gift that comes along with the work. The people who you find.

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Guest Leslie2Lose

Turler don't give up! I think one of the reasons you feel that way is your over-tightness the last month or so. Hon, you are miserable. Mainly because your doctor is an idiot. He should listen to his patients and not just assume you are cheating. Sorry, but true. I can honestly say we're still about the same on stats. I'm only three pounds lost more than you.

I've read other April Avenger's stats and most are right where we are. I'm struggling too. There are some on here that have lost 60-70 pounds and were banded the same time we were. Why can't I be where they are? However, I noticed most of those people were on six month pre-op diets and that's where they lost more weight. It's supposed to be slow and I wish it weren't so hard. It's no fun getting things stuck - hurts like hell, having to watch everything we put in our mouths. I think it is worth it. You are worth it! Hang in there - I'll sign on my yahoo messenger tonight - look for me if you want to chat.

I guess I'll be Dartanion - I'm the youngest musketeer

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Turler- Leslie is 100% correct. You started out so strong and then your doctor made you doubt yourself. You need to have a good sit down with him. You had successful surgery and no ill effects and I'm sure you'll always be grateful to him for that but that doesn't make him infallible.

I'm down almost 53 since the 30th. I have done nothing different, but my surgeon has his patients on 3 weeks of liquid following banding, and that really gives one a good start. I'm starting to slow down also. I have to start more exercise and food remains the center of my life. food gets stuck, adding new foods is tricky, and yup, like Leslie, I get food stuck more often than I'd like. And I wish so much that I'd started this sooner. Why did I wait until my weight got to 315? We've all got something. Hang in, hang on. And look for other places of interest on the boards. We can all stay in touch but like me, you might find an age group or something else that would broaden it for you.

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You gals have given me a pick me up today. Thanks! I quit posting because I was so discouraged at not loosing, but tonight I realize that I need the support to get back on track. In the last movie there were 4 musketeers.....can I be in the group?

I'll just have to find the money somewhere to get a fill. I don't think my willpower is there and part of the plateau is my love of mexican food!

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Guest Leslie2Lose

Hey Mama! It's great to hear from you!!! Yes - you can be part of the musketeers...Of course I'm not thinking of the classic novel but the movie - I'm thinking of Chris O'Donnel, Kieffer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, etc...I've always been partial to Chris, thus Dartanian - LOL

I was away from here for a couple of weeks too and really got off track. Then I realised that I had major surgery for a reason and had to start trying. No one in my family understands what I'm going through. That's one thing I love about these boards - everyone here is battling the same issues I am. It is such a battle for me - mentally and physically.

I ended up joining the Couch to 5K Program last month, that has really helped me get focused and have something to work towards. I think we all need that. Not that everyone needs to train for a 5K, but a goal to work towards - something that is rewarding other than just numbers on a scale. After I finish running I feel like I could take on the world!

I love Mexican too! I'm trying to limit myself to once a week (after my weekly weigh in). A friend of mine was banded too - we meet at the OTC (Obseity Treatment Center) for our weigh in and then go to lunch. She's been struggling like me. We were walking faithfully four times a week. When it got to hot we moved it indoors at the Y and haven't been going like we should. Not together anyway. I miss her and miss working out together. She's my reinforcer and needs to have tough love with me. Sometimes I need a kick in the rear!

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Okay okay okay!!! I give!! LOL I love you girls! There is ALWAYS room for more musketeers, so please join in anyone and everyone!!!

You are right, I've had a strange experience with my doctor. He has been out of the country most of July while I was having some of my problems and prior to him leaving, he suggested "behavior modification" to me. As encouraging (warning, sarcasm here) as that was, it didn't seem to make my body respond to the band any better!!! He got back a week ago and I haven't seen him yet. There are some weird things happening at his office and I'm no longer comfortable talking with him about all of this. The adjacent office that manages the pre-op diets and post-op care (excepts for fills) is still involved. I will most likely be looking for a new surgeon or someone to manage my fills.

I know on paper my weight loss is right on target (for now). But I feel as though I should be farther along. I am disappointed in myself more than anything. I still don't have this big surge of energy so many of you have and can suddenly exercise and love it. I wanted all that to happen to me too, but it just hasn't...YET. I am still hopeful, just discouraged. I try to exercise, but it's no fun. I still hate it and feel self conscious. I saw a friend the other that I hadn't seen in a few months, and she is one of only a handful that know about my band. She says to me, "Now, are you still planning to lose more weight or are you done? The last time I saw you you'd lost about 20 pounds. How is it going?" WOW. It's depressing that 40 lbs doesn't show.

I've been trying to stay upbeat about all this, but am feeling like I'm spinning my wheels a bit. I'm not going to give up. It's not in me. I know I need support and that's why I keep coming back here everyday! Maybe my energy level is a lasting effect of my cancer. I don't know.

Thanks so much for your encouragement! I love you all!

~C

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Guest Leslie2Lose

First of all - we love you too!!

Girl - you are so tight you are probably eating enough to keep a bird alive. I know when I was tight and in liquid and Mushie Hell I had no energy either. Your body has to have fuel to run...right now you are running on empty and leaking oil (PB/Slime) everywhere. I know it is easy for me to say, since I'm not in living in hell, but it will get better when you can get an unfill.

As for exercise - when I started - I hated it! That's why I got a workout partner. It helps to have someone to call me and ask where I am and why aren't I sweating and killing myself on a treadmill. I actually have days I look forward to running (no hell hasn't froze over).

I know how you feel about people asking how you are doing and you want to tell them more. You want the scales to show more. DH keeps telling me - Leslie that's all your supposed to lose - maybe that is your natural weight. Pardon my french, but Bull-Shit. My natural weight is NOT 220 pounds...I will not be fat for the rest of my life. He loves the new me (he's never known this small - and I'm still not small by any means).

I'm not giving up. I'm just not ready to accept defeat and neither shall you. It doesn't matter what they (loving friends and family) think - you are doing this for the most important person in your life - you.

Have you been measuring yourself? You could be losing inches. I'm here if you need me girl! If you want to call me I'll PM you my phone number too. (hugs)

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You are so sweet!

I really will be fine! I know it! I know I'm losing, and I know that clothes are loose, but I want more! I do agree that maybe the band being too tight is not helping. Most would think I would be dropping weight like crazy , but that's not happening. I think that's weird. I SHOULD be melting. Why aren't I melting?

The NP and I discussed these issues and are waiting for the lab results to see if I'm having any malnourishment issues. I'm thinking I'm going to be fine, but we'll see. After that we will see what to do. I'm afraid of screwing myself. You know? If I piss him off by calling again, and he agrees to an unfill, he might take it ALL out! I would be so pissed. I'm more afraid of that than staying miserable like this. I'm so torn.

Thanks so much for everything. I am so proud of you! You have rocked this thing from the beginning and I don't doubt that you'll continue to amaze us all. I am blown away that you are doing the C25K for crying out loud! I wanna do that too someday. I swear, I don't have that kind of energy. I can barely get through the work day!

~C

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Okay, I'm back. You guys are on the east coast and by now getting to bed. Had to make dinner and pay a condolence call for a friends dad.

MAMA-GOOD TO SEE YOU. So glad you're here. I think we'd happy have many musketeers if folks would stick around. You're doing great. Stop worrying. My goodness, listen to us complain. It took me almost 9 months to lose about 60 pounds on South Beach. And I was thrilled ....at least until I put it all back on. We're all losing quickly and it does slow. But in three months, we've all lost an excellent amount of weight.

Turler, did you say NOT NOTICE! I have lost 53 pounds and NO ONE NOTICED tonight. Yikes. Is it the big clothes that are swimming, or do these people just not ever look at me anyway! WOW. That was weird and yes, being as sensitive as we all are.....I felt lousy no one said anything. At work it's so supportive, it's great. But this was not fun.

And the other thing I don't find fun is exercise. Not now. I was a gym rat and dancer in my twenties and thirties. Heck, I lived in NY and walked miles a day just getting around. I started gaining when I moved to LA and started driving. Now, by time I get home from work andmake and clear dinner I don't want to do anything but disappear onto the boards or into the TV. And the recumbent bike is right in front of the TV. You think I have energy.....but I don't. And I'm a fundraiser, so a lot of my work is evening and events and they exhaust me. I took a few weeks off after banding and I did great with walking etc. Because I was focusing only on me.

You guys amaze me with the running etc. I'm not giving myself the excuse of age because I've never had that hold me back and honestly, I don't look my age (I should figure out how to post a photo). But multiple injuries have left my hip and both knees in lousy shape and that doesn't make things easier.

I think people who lose 60 or 70 pounds after banding in April are going to run out of steam. Even if they're ahead now, the statistics show that in 5 years the range of weight loss stabilizes among all bandsters. So, where are they rushing to anyway. What's wrong with your 30+ pounds. And how do you think your body feels when it's starving? It's probably holding every calorie it can. Of course you're down and tired. Like Leslie said, no fuel. You're gonna need to add some calories. Good ones like fish or chicken, green veggies. And do you drink enough fluids without salt? I try to get in 8-10 glasses a day and when I don't, I don't lose. I can drink that much because I can't eat in the AM so I treat myself to a giant iced coffee, have at least one cup with my Metamucil, and that's four before 11AM.

Whew, a lot said. I've got to go change a load and fold some wash. How many calories does that burn?

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Hi i was wondering how much food u guys are eating. After u get restriction. Do u cut urself back before ur full or when u feel that stuck feeling in ur chest. Please help. Brenda in arkansas

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Guest Leslie2Lose

Hi Brenda. It depends on the time of day for me. In the mornings I can usually eat about 1/2 cup of something (I'm tightest then). lunch I can eat a little more (a cup), by dinner my band is pretty loose. I don't eat until I'm "stuffed" or get tight. I eat until I'm no longer hungry. I'm beginning to recognize the full feeling. I've eaten a couple of times past my limit. I didn't PB or slime, but felt quite uncomfortable. It is just a learning process.

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