when did you start solids?

[*susan* 1,709]

I honestly don't believe it was rude. I think she was truly shocked and concerned that someone would be eating waffles, Cereal and a big mac 4 days post op. So many newly banded people are coming on here looking to be validated in their desire to cheat, and many others are enabling them further with their statements of how they did it and they were OK, or how their doctors don't have them on the same diet, so they don't have to do what their own personal surgeon suggests.

I have seen too many people try and be sweet, but it just doesn't seem to be getting through to people. It seems like some tough love is needed. Otherwise, I am concerned that the band is going to get a really bad rep. as a result of too many people moving to mushy and solid food stages too soon, resulting in a slippage down the road.

The trend seems to be that as long as people are enabling them and validating their cheating, everyone is happy. But, the minute someone says, "lets get real people, you are putting your band and your health at risk" people get angry and we are accused of being rude. We are not rude, we just want people to realize what they are doing and what the long term effects can be. Don't be angry with us for stating the facts.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I believe as well the post was not to hurt you or be rude. But you also have to think about our frame of mind. There are some people here who do post to get validation that it is ok that they are doign wrong. Others need information. Sometimes it is hard to know the difference.

I wish you the best of luck on your band journey but please learn to listen to your heart, your head and your band! :biggrin2:

[Gone4Now 4]

Sooo....can someone explain the NICE way to say: Don't be an f'ing idiot?

Cause I missed that day when it was covered in charm school.

[Froggi 4]

LOLOL Gloucester

[Froggi 4]

I accidently hit enter but I believe that the post LJM posted was perfectly fine, a lot of people need tough love now a days.

[Mommy.ArmyWife 6]

Yes, but not everyone needs what you all call "tough love". Frankly, I would take that post as rude, and many other's would as well. It was probably written in haste, because she is most likely tired of all the people wanting validation for bad choices. However, not everyone wants validation. Had she actually thought about it, there would have been better ways to write that post. Yes, the poster should not have eaten a big mac, however, she knew that to begin with. There's no reason to beat her down for it. Goodness knows, none of us are perfect, otherwise we wouldn't NEED the band.

[Gracey 7]

Sooo....can someone explain the NICE way to say: Don't be an f'ing idiot?

Cause I missed that day when it was covered in charm school.

Gloucester - I'm always here to help you out. The correct way would be, "Would you PLEASE not be an f'n idiot?" I swear, people these days have just forgotten the the common courtesies.

[Froggi 4]

lolololol Sick LOVE IT :cool:

[Gone4Now 4]

Doh! How could I forget the basics???

Thanks SnT!

:biggrin:

[SanDiegoSusan 1]

I so get the Big Mac thing! I've been craving them for weeks and keep threatening to put one into a blender when I get to the mushies stage!:biggrin2:

Now I HATE McDonald's and am not a fan of Big Macs (I'm a Whopper girl and haven't craved one in weeks.) So I had to ask myself, why am I craving a food I haven't willingly eaten in years? Then I realized that I am watching a bunch of TV during my recovery (and OMG daytime television sucks!) and Mickey D's is running tons and tons of ads showing the Big Mac in its best light. I mean, it looks like food and not cardboard with Condiments.

So listen to your cravings in one respect - if you need Protein your body will ask for it and you might need to up your shakes or add in some additional powder. But also be aware of unusual triggers that might hit you in your compromised state like ads that normally you'd ignore. If your cravings are emotional you have to start working on the head hunger - remind yourself you are healing and those foods will not be good for you and praise yourself each night that you successfully avoid the triggers.

On a general note: Joiful had crappy, crappy follow-up care and is trying to do this basically on her own. So this is not directed at her because she is listening to people and learning (on her own!) what is right to do. But I agree that even in the few months I've been on this site there seems to be a growing increase in validation for people not following the doctor's recommendations. It is dangerous and stupid and those people should be shown tough love because they are screwing up the future of a bunch of addicts who need to change their lives or die. (Ok, so I only believe in the tough part - not everyone deserves my love.)

I see it more with the younger set whose attitudes are starting to drive me nuts - "I'll do whatever I want." But others are starting to follow their examples. Fine, but don't try to talk others into your bad behavior. As indicated by some of the very knowledgeable moderators slippage has doubled recently. DOUBLED! That should scare you. The band will help about 50% of the people banded lose weight in the long run (antidotes about bad banders who lost weight notwithstanding - our own urban legends) which means 50% of the people will fail yet again at losing weight. If that's the case, I'm going to listen to the ones that are at goal or below as they did what they had to for success. I also feel like I can determine who is going to fail by their posts. If one week out of surgery your biggest concern is how to get around doctor's orders odds are you do not have the right mindset yet to make this work. I also suspect that as the band gets more popular and people come to sites like this where they find validation for bad behavior the success rate of the band will also fall.

The moderators and the "get-arounders" both have the rights to post here. However, if you are a human capable of critical thinking (a skill America is rapidly losing) YOU should be listening to the people who have been through the process and succeeded, not the people looking for validation to stuff their faces with all the wrong foods then bitch and moan at how bad their surgeon must have been when the band fails them. Please keep posting moderators - most of us are far more interested in what you have to say then in what the cheaters say to excuse themselves.

Disclosure - this was not aimed at anyone in particular. It was a general rant not meant to make any individual feel bad. If your feelings were hurt by it you need to examine why, but it wasn't meant to hurt you. It's meant to make you think for yourself instead of following the bad sheep of the world. If you haven't been perfect (and gosh knows I haven't!) start being better today. You are so lucky to have this opportunity - treat it like the blessing it is! Change your mind, change your behavior, change what you eat and it will work. And every time you do something right give yourself a mental hug and a "good job!" We've all been conditioned to beat ourselves up for failure but you will go a lot further if you give yourself positive reinforcement for all your successes!

Let the flaming begin! :party:

[Gracey 7]

SDSusan - GREAT post; so well-written and thoughtful!! It's scary to me that people either a) aren't listening to their doctors or :party: aren't being told anything by their docs.

I've only heard good things about my doctor but I am doing as much reading as I can (meaning, of course, means reading the DS poop blog)!

[Redheada 0]

to the original issue

I am curious pursuant to doctor's orders when you all generally started mushys after surgery?

I am a week post op and I want soft food so bad I could scream right now. 3 weeks of liquids is tough on anyone. . . now I am moving into week four and this is now very challenging for me.

ALSO it is commonly known that eating food after surgery causes slips?

[Shelby345 0]

Hi Joiful and others out there.

I was banded on 7/7/08. When I came home on Tuesday, I had 2 days of off and on crying, "what was I thinking?" - "why did I do this?". Now on my 6th day. I feel a bit better. I think I was real cranky and emotional cuz I wanted to eat. I wanted something to be able to chew in my mouth. I had some Soup today with little pieces of chicken in it. I chewed them up real good before I swallowed though. What I wanted to say though... is Joiful, the more people you talk to about this the more of a support group you might have. Sure, there are going to people out there that may make comments, BUT... you are trying to do something to be healthier, to live longer... to be better. I also wanted to share a good Protein Drink that I found. The low carb slim fast shakes were yucky for me. Do you have a Trader Joe's where you live? They have these shakes that have 21g of Protein and 2g carbs. They come in vanilla and chocolate. For me, these tasted much better than the Slim Fast ones. oh...the shake is by a company called WORLDWIDE Sport Nutritional website is sportnutrition.com

I don't know what others think, please give me your feedback but.....I am thinking that if I am really craving something. ((Like all I have thought about since Monday, is Doritos. I want some soo bad. So i ate 2 Doritos, chewed them up realllll good before I swallowed. Then I was ok. So, if you really want something. Have one taste. and hopefully that will fulfill that desire. Might not work for everybody, but if you have the power to control the amount and not have deprive yourself that maybe it will work. I hope I'm not just rambling on. I'd love to hear from somebody.

Thanks guys for sharing on here.

Shelby