I am I the only Failure

[mamalovell 0]

I have asked several times to reschedule and I am told by the clinic they will not reschedule until I come back in four weeks and they see how I have done. Also I have been on the shakes for 3 days now and weighed myself and to my total suprise I gained 3 lbs. I am so mad right now. I will stick with it though because I really want to be banded. I am praying I can have the surgery in August.

[Shamrockgirl60 1]

I am sorry to hear what happened. I got my final insurance approval today. Surgery scheduled for August 7th. Spent most of yesterday having group sessions on what to expect before, during and after surgery including pre-surgery diet and what to eat after surgery.

My hospital is very strict. It was explained that for this next month to lose as much weight as I can. No limit, just stick to good low carb low fat diet and before the surgery try the Protein drinks to see which one you like.

The did stress NOT to gain any weight before surgery because it can effect whether you have surgery or not. They need room inside you to do the operation, they have to inflate your stomach cavity with air, to help move the various organs away from the stomach so they can put the band and port inside you. In particular the liver is in front of the stomach. They do NOT want a fatty liver or an over sized one due to weight gain. The first thing to gain weight is your liver. I never knew that.

I am continuing on my low carb low fat diet now. Not easy but I will do it. I don't want to be on that operating table and them to say "opps, not now".

I hope you can lose the 8 lbs. or even more before your surgery.

It was mostly for the safety of YOU that he postponed the surgery. That's hard to understand. They should have stressed this pre operation.

Did you have any meetings before the surgery that discussed just why you had to lose the pre-op weight?

Edited July 9, 2008 by Shamrockgirl60

[SeattleSweetie 5]

I have asked several times to reschedule and I am told by the clinic they will not reschedule until I come back in four weeks and they see how I have done. Also I have been on the shakes for 3 days now and weighed myself and to my total suprise I gained 3 lbs. I am so mad right now. I will stick with it though because I really want to be banded. I am praying I can have the surgery in August.

Aw, I'm so sorry, I know how frustrating this can be. :party: I've been there myself. When I had my first surgery on May 5th, I was in the hospital, asleep on the table, they had started the operation, and when they got to my liver, the doctor said it was just way too big. There was no way he could get around it and do good work. He said he could have done a kindof half-a$$ job, but he wouldn't have felt comfortable with it and I would have been more likely to have slippage problems in the future.

Before that surgery, I was supposed to be on a low-carb diet, bucause carbs are really what help make your liver so big - they break down into glycogen, and glycogen is mainly stored in your liver. So when I was doing my diet, I stayed away from like, bread, Pasta, potatos, etc, but I wasn't really careful with the rest of my food. I wasn't reading labels like I should have, and I came to find out later I had been eating MANY more carbs than I was supposed to because many foods have carbs in them that I wouldn't have expected - fruits, veggies, dairy, etc - and my attitude had just not been in the right place at the time around to learn all this.

So after I woke up from that surgery, I was SOOOO dissapointed. I cried quite a bit, it was horrible. But it was bad enough and I was desperate enough that I kicked my butt into gear and did a really strict low-carb diet for the next six weeks (under my doctors instruction) so that it would shrink my liver and my next attempt at the surgery would go well.

The thing is, when you're on a low-carb diet, most of the initial weight that you lose is Water weight, however, it can be a LOT if you stick to it - I lost 29 lbs in the six weeks between my surgeries on this diet, a lot of it was dropped really quickly at the beginning of the diet. It's not a lot of fun if you're a carb-fiend, but it's pretty effective for quick, short-term weightloss.

Perhaps you might consider talking to your doctor about a low-carb diet, or doing low-carb meals on the plan you're on now? It can be much easier to lose Water weight than real fat to start out with (Once you've lost the water weight, you WILL start losing fat after that, the water just goes first), and as a bonus, the first thing to shrink is your liver, which is the main organ that your doctor has to get around in order to do the surgery.

If you think that's something that might help you, or that you'd want to consider, then here is a big post that I wrote about low-carb diets - an explanation of what it is and how it works, things to watch out for and how to make it really work for you.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/pre-operation-lap-band-surgery-questions-answers/65020-how-shrink-your-liver-increase-st-weight-loss-low-carb-pre-op-diet.html#post864546

Anyway, I hope maybe this can help you out? I'm sorry you're having such a tough experience, but I really hope you're able to get through this short, tough time and get your band. It will be worth all the hassle in the end. :tt1:

((((((((hugs!!))))))))

Edit: here's another good post of all the good things someone else ate on a low-carb diet and dropped a lot of weight really quickly - http://www.lapbandtalk.com/pre-operation-lap-band-surgery-questions-answers/65020-how-shrink-your-liver-increase-st-weight-loss-low-carb-pre-op-diet.html#post867196

Edited July 13, 2008 by SeattleSweetie

[Moe128 0]

You are NOT a failure. We all struggle with this and that is why we are all here. It's hard to read someone's mind when the expectations are not clear. I would ask for another surgeon and explain the situation and go from there. Keep the faith sister! We are all behind you. Moe

[clayverde 2]

Man, my heart is breaking for you right now!! I actually started to tear up when I read your post!! I am SO sorry that things are difficult for you right now. Definitely don't give up and YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!! I can't stress that enough. And unless you have a specific goal, you can't fail! Which means you can't be a failure!! And the surgeon did not give you any specific goal - like, oh by the way, make sure not to gain even one pound or we'll cancel your surgery!! Even then, I would not label you a failure, but rather that you made a mistake and have to just try again. BUT that isn't what happened!! They didn't give you any directions so not following the directions in their heads doesn't make you a failure - it makes you not psychic!!

As to how to best get through this... I would write a letter to the doctor and say something along the lines of "when I got ready for the initial surgery I followed all directions from both the insurance and the doctor. However, when I got to the hospital on the day of the surgery, I was told that I had gained 8 lbs and the surgery was canceled. Given that this was a rule never told to me and the enormous waste of my time, not to mention the heartache and disappointment, I would like to make sure that does not happen again. I am asking that the hospital send me a letter with a list of EVERY rule that I have to follow in order to undergo the surgery. Please star all rules that are important enough that breaking them at all will result in the cancellation of my surgery again. I also would like an explanation, again in writing in the same letter as above, the medical reasons as well as the hospital policy or insurance requirement that changes the necessary weight loss prior to surgery from ? lbs to 30 lbs. Given this extreme change which was only relayed to me on the day of (cancelled) surgery, I want to ensure that I am truly ready for my next surgery. I also would like, in writing, the assurance that if there is another change of doctor policy requiring a different weight loss amount prior to surgery, I will receive another letter clearing stating all new rules and reasons for the change. Finally, I would like the hospital policy and medical reason, simply stated, that explains why I have to follow the diet for four weeks and then check in to "see how I'm doing" before I can schedule the surgery. This guarantees I will be on the diet for well over four weeks. Given that I had a prior weight loss requirement of ?lbs lost by ? date, which I successfully completed and no further requirements concerning my weight prior to surgery, I have given the hospital to reason to doubt my ability to lose the weight necessary in a given deadline. Therefore I am confused about your reluctance to allow me to even reschedule the surgery to immediately follow my four week liquid diet. Given the upsetting outcome of the last scheduled surgery, I feel that communication from my doctor is not clear enough and as a result would like all of the above in writing and signed by the surgeon. Thank you."

I know that is a lot and all but here is the thing - DOCTORS WORK FOR YOU!! They charge you a fee to then perform a service. If you hired a wedding planner who didn't show up the day of the wedding and when you called her she said that the reason she didn't was your failure to pay an additional "appearance fee" that was never mentioned and not in the contract, you'd read her the riot act. You would go off and never tolerate that. But because we want this so bad and a surgeon seems so powerful, they get away with this crap. Well you have rights and you don't deserve to be treated that way. Take control of this and remind them that you are paying them for a service! And while you do have to follow their rules, they have to tell you the rules and not play games.

So, basically, have a good crying jag. Get it all out of your system. And then get REALLY MAD! And start cracking that whip! Make them realize that you are going to demand proper treatment. That you are paying them and you want everything you are paying for - which means excellent patient care. Which that day was clearly NOT. Good luck, I hope any of this helps and give yourself a big squeeze. Which is not weird at all coming from a perfect stranger! :cursing: Please keep us up informed!

[Northwest_Nance 0]

Your doctor and/or his staff should have made their pre-op instructions very clear to you. I do understand cancelling surgery for gaining 8 pounds, as that can affect the liver which is a big concern for surgery. But it's not fair that you hadn't been warned not to let that happen. My doctor actually made me sign an agreement to lose 10 pounds before surgery. He said he started doing that because he'd have patients show up who hadn't lost the weight and they'd say "You didn't tell me to lose weight", when in fact, he had. So he decided to start making everyone sign a statement acknowledging that they'd been instructed to lose the weight. And he does cancel the surgery if you don't do it.... but we know that ahead of time.

Four weeks on a liquid diet is very challenging but just keep your eye on the prize! Hope all goes well for you.