What DON'T they tell you?

[TxShtKicker 0]

I'll preface this post by saying that, in my decision to get banded, I've researched every last thing about it (it's my nature) but have yet to come across the kind of honest answers that only internet anonymity can provide.

What don't they tell you about living as a banded person and recovering fatty?

Such as, after eating, do you actually feel full, or does it feel like a hotdog is stuck in your esophagus?

What happens when your friends find out you can't eat out for a full meal, or even drink beer?

Were you ever shameful about telling somebody, or, in place of that, lying about eating healthy and exercise and all that jazz?

There have got to be a hundred things that you don't figure out until afterwards, but a heads up on anything would be excellent.

-Brad

[newhope4me 0]

What I didn't know before was that you have to relearn how to eat. I was raised in the midwest in a poor farming community. Where i am from the serving sizes are enough to feed a small family. You cleaned your plate, no matter what. there are still times that i struggle to try to clean my plate, even though it hurts.

I am still trying to pay attention to the "full" feeling. Yes it is there. Only a few times, when trying to clean my plate, has it felt like "a hotdog is stuck in your esophagus"

I have not told anyone (except family) about my decision. I made a huge change in our lifestyle when I was banded. My whole family eats better now, avoiding sugar, eating mostly chicken and veggies. My hubby and daughter order in once a week, thats their treat. I don't feel like i am lying when i tell people that we have changed our lifestyle and we are increasing our exercise. It is the truth. no one needs to know that i am not strong enough to do without the help of the band.

I have had one person guess that i had the band, only because she is looking into it, and noticed my eating habits. I was so offguard when she asked me about it, that i hesitated before answering her, but i was honest with her. Because she is "one of us" i am not ashamed.

Its easy, for me anyway, to not "eat a whole meal or drink a beer" with friends. You can always say you aren't very hungry, which you wont be as much as you used to be. And if you are changing your lifestyle to a healthier one, not drinking beer is part of that. Instead have a glass of wine or a cocktail (just remember these have a lot of empty calories).

Like i said, my most difficult transition was (is still occassionally, if i wait too long between meals) re-learning how to eat.

[dabble 0]

Oh good questions!

All the things that I wanted to ask too :thumbup:

[Pamhasband 0]

Dear Brad,

I have been band since 8/07, almost a year. I have lost 45 pounds. I had to learn how to eat slow and not clean my plate. You still have to watch what you eat and drink. I have only told close family about band, no one else has noticed my change in eating. I go out to eat with my husband and I order a Soup or salad and eat some of his food if I am still hungry. I get my Water or tea to go, so that I can drink in later. You can not eat an drink at the same time, it can make you lose your dinner. I had about 25% hair lose. My hair has all grown back now. My energy level was low in the beginning. Now my energy level is better than before, because of the weight lose. The weight lose is slow, I thought it would come off sooner. You need to have a plan for changing your diet and some type of activity, such as walking or swimming. I do not like to talk about my band to much, however I do enjoy the chat room. I find the chat room is a wonderful support group and I have made new friends.

Best of luck to you...Pam

[debbles 0]

Anyone idiot who tells you they will be mad at you for weighing less than them is NO FRIEND AT ALL. Drop the garbage immediately. She only wants you there to make her look better and you just stood there and took it when she told you to your face. You will neevr succeed unless you start putting yourself first. You need to realise that you are far good for her and drop her now.

[cltmarie 0]

I am also having to learn how to eat. Yes, I feel full after eating. It depends on what I eat as to how long I feel full. I've only been banded for 2 weeks and don't have a fill yet, and I'm consistently freaking out about whether or not I'm eating too much. I only once (so far) have felt like I was going to throw up, but that was my first meal with solid food and I didn't chew like I should have.

I tell anyone who asks that I have been banded. I voluntarily told my friends and family so that they could support me in any way they wanted to. Some of them have chosen not to eat junk food in front of me, and truthfully I think it's really nice of them.

Over all.....I'm really glad I got banded. It really does change your life. Honestly, I miss some of the food and drinks that I used to be able to have but not enough to stay fat for them.

[YoungNy 1]

Losind friend was a biggie for me. I don't have that many friends to begin with, but when I heard that many people lose friends after weight loss I was upset. I did have a friend who begged me before surgery not to change. The only thing is most people tend have a problem with thier overweight friends. The friends who are still fat and aren't really trying to lose or have tried and failed. When you lose and are so excited about everything that is going on, it's hard for them to be excited. They just don't want to here it. And slowly friends will start pulling away. That's why I think it's so important to have "band buddies" people you can talk to about your weight loss and lap band issues.

[thunderstorm816 0]

I love my band. I researched the band before getting it also. I am a nurse so it is my nature to investigate it before I got it. The only way u get the "stuck hotdog" feeling is if u overeat or u dont chew well enough. I have told numerous people about my band. I work in a doctors office and have become kind of a spokesperson per say for the band. They are amazed at the weight I am losing and how well I am doing since the surgery. They ask me questions about the surgery and are motivated by my weight loss. I am not ashamed that I had the surgery. I am proud that I am finally losing the weight. And keeping it off. I am more active now then I have ever been.

[tillydog 0]

I was banded last week, so don't have too much to say about eating and drinking in public, but I can tell you that regarding how and what to tell people, My friends and family all know about my band and some co-workers. My personal theory is that all the people that care about me will probably be glad to hear I am making a change in my life for better health, it may not be the traditional way to get healthy or lose weight, but when you have so much weight to lose its understandable. I am not embarrassed or ashamed to have lap band, I am proud to say I have taken to steps necesssary to get to this point and I am making my life healthier and everyone understands and is supportive - I have not had 1 bad comment. And I would never lie about it.

[maguirre67 0]

i agree with you if you cant tell them then theyre not really your friend i told everybody at my job and theyre thrilled if people know you have it its harder for you to slip and eat something your not suppose to it helps alot i lost 20 pounds before i even got the lapband so just imagine what i can do with the lapband

[thughes113 0]

I don't give a rats a$$ what people say to me or think about me. If I were a drug addict and they expressed their opinion, that would be acceptable. Trouble is, I'm a food addict and the difference is that we need food to live. We don't need illegal drugs to live. I'm going to be going to a family reunion in early August and I know I'm going to be faced with questions about why I'm not chowing down on Cookies, potato salad, sausage hoagies and downing a brew or 5. But, I'm ready for it. My health is my priority and I am the only person who can control it. The same people who talk smack are the same ones who will stand over your casket after you've suffered a fatal stroke and say, "I always thought she was too heavy". pff. Stay strong and good luck!

[Sue Magoo 71]

Brad:

I love my band.

I wish someone had told me that I should take precise body measurements before I got banded. I know that I've lost alot of weight (138 pounds!), but there are times when my loss is so slow that I would like to know the inches because I think that if I knew the lost inches it would help to motivate me when the scale isn't so friendly.

Good luck to you.

Sue

[barbara9460 1]

Hey Tx! I was banded on 5/9/08. I researched this for nearly 5 years. I also researched EVERY alternative. I did some serious soul searching and I asked my family and best friend to play "devil's advocate" and I came to the conclusion that if I didn't get the band I would die. Simple as that. No matter what I did, I was hungry every minute of every day. In retrospect, some of that was emotional hunger and what we call head hunger.

Yes, I've had the "stuck hotdog" feeling before. It happens if you eat too big a bite, don't chew enough or eat too fast. It's awful, but it TEACHES too! Every bandster goes through it. I have friends who have been banded for 5 years who still occasionally PB.

I told everybody about my getting the band. Most people were supportive. The only girl that wasn't very supportive was an RNY patient who'd gained back most of her weight.

Basically, TX, you have to ask youself if you were not hungry, could you make the dietary changes necessary to succeed. Are you willing to give up beer and soda (bubbly drinks). Are you able to eat three meals a day only (or add two Snacks if that's what your doc prescribes for you)? Will you go to the support group meetings and learn from others? It's important to go to local meetings because many of the people in the meeting will have been banded by the same doc as you have and will be able to give excellent insight.

And YES, you will feel full. For me the hardest part was the two week pre-op liquid diet and the time after surgery when I had a 10 day clear liquid, three week full liquid diet. These allow for pouch healing and for the stitches to "cement" themselves into place. But let's face it, if you're fat, you've likely been on hundreds of diets, so you can do this too.

In the end, you will have some foods that won't work for you. There are a few things that you'll not have again, like beer and soda. You'll have to eat Protein first and then veggies, but isn't becoming healthy why you're doing this? If that isn't your reason for wanting to lose the weight, then you need to take a look at it again. If you're doing this for anybody but yourself, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to PM me if you have more questions that I can answer. This is a valuable site, but you must remember that each person will have a completely different experience.

Barbara :tt1:

[Snapdragon 0]

See my comments below.

I'll preface this post by saying that, in my decision to get banded, I've researched every last thing about it (it's my nature) but have yet to come across the kind of honest answers that only internet anonymity can provide.

What don't they tell you about living as a banded person and recovering fatty?

Such as, after eating, do you actually feel full, or does it feel like a hotdog is stuck in your esophagus? Yes, I feel full. Or satisfied, rather. The head hunger can rear its ugly head though. You see all that food and want more. The process of learning 'enough is enough' can be difficult at times. Some days are better than others. Rarely do I get the "hot dog in the throat" feeling. Only when I eat too fast or eat something my band doesn't like (for me it's bacon and cherries - weird).

What happens when your friends find out you can't eat out for a full meal, or even drink beer? The few friends I've told have understood. I still tell them that we can go out to restaurants - of their choosing. I ask them to please don't treat me differently and I order something small. Or I ask to share - they've been down with that too. I'm still the same person - my stomach is just a little smaller now.

Were you ever shameful about telling somebody, or, in place of that, lying about eating healthy and exercise and all that jazz? I don't feel that I'm lying about eating healthier because I AM eating healthier. I haven't told anyone at work, they just see me eating differently. People who have asked about my different eating habits I've just told them that my doctor has me working with a nutritionist on better eating habits. People just go, "Oh, okay" and walk away. Those in my personal life (friends and family) know I'm banded and they're cool with all of it. I don't keep it a secret from co-workers or others because I'm ashamed. I keep it to myself because like my PIN number, credit card number or bra size - it's personal and I keep it to myself. :tt1:

There have got to be a hundred things that you don't figure out until afterwards, but a heads up on anything would be excellent. There are a hundred things that you won't know until you're there in it. Everyone is different. Before surgery I was looking over this site night and day trying to anticipate everything. I expected so many things and found that a lot of things didn't come to pass. I learned to just go with it - our experiences are unique.

From reading this site I thought I couldn't eat certain foods because others couldn't eat them. I'm finally trying foods that I thought were off limits and finding that I can eat most. Hurray! We're all created to be unique - our experiences with this band are the same.

If you have any questions feel free to ask me directly or in this forum. It's good to share our experiences, but I would take what you learn with a grain of salt. A lot of it is our attitude too. I went into this expecting great things and I've not been disappointed. It's the best thing I've ever done (besides marrying my wonderful husband!).

The lapband works. It's awesome!

-Brad

Edited July 7, 2008 by Snapdragon

[TxShtKicker 0]

I have to give a sincere thanks for the answers thus far, but those few questions are just starting point. I'm commited to seeing this all the way, and I know all the major changes that have to be made.

Barbara, that's how I've been for as long as I can remember. It takes an obscene amount of food before I actually am satisfied, and though that only happened once a month or so. My biggest worry is that I won't feel full, but instead have that clogged feeling.

Thanks for clearing that one up, everyone.

Tillydog, it's not so much that others will disapprove, but that I dislike resorting to surgery. For every person that I've told this to, it's been all I can do to swallow my pride. I mean, we talk about food addiction here, but I really don't beleive it's an addiction, rather a lack of self control. That's what I don't like spreading.

Debbles, I have no idea what you are talking about.

NewHope, I'm right there with you. I'm the oldest of 5 kids, living on a family farm and ranch (hence the name). Leaving the table with food on it is a cardinal sin in my German bloodline, as is turning down a beer :tt1:

As far as that goes, I'm prepared to not drink beer anymore. Now, if I couldn't have a glass of wine before and way after, I don't know what I'd do.

Are there any other musings that longer-term banders have about the experience?

Edited July 7, 2008 by TxShtKicker