Help!!! Have i failed???

[Jorge52876 0]

Hello my name is Jorge and I live in Queen Creek, Arizona. I am 32 years old and I weigh 499 lbs, thats if I havent gained all my weight back. I got my lap band surgery on May 12 2008 and I went down from 537 lbs to 499 the week before my surgery. Even after my surgery I was doing good with my preop and postop liquid and soft food diet stages, until about the 3rd or 4th week when I was able to eat regular foods now I am out of control. My food addiction has kicked in. I was supposed to go for my 1st fill on June 25 and I keep postponing because I am so embarrased to go and I feel like I have truly gained some of the weight back. Has this happened to anyone else??? I have alot of weight to loose...my doctor said that my ideal to loose would be 250-275 lbs...so I have a long way to go...and with this setback I am so embarrased to go to my doctors office and get weighed. I have even tried to do crash diets but they don't work!!! I am a carbs addict and I just feel like a total failure!!!...The whole reason for getting this surgery was to loose the weight and feel good physically and emotionally...right now I just feel crappy and emotionally like a total failure...Am I the only one that this happened to??? Is there anyone that has had this happen to as well??? Should I feel like this???

[snowbird 2]

You have failed at the point you give up and say you are never getting a fill, never going to try again, never going to make any attempt to make the band work for you. Until you truly reach that point, you are just taking a break from being a good bandster.

Why don't you just call your doctor tomorrow morning and schedule a fill? Don't drive yourself nuts and try in your head to lose the entire 250 lb at once. Take one step on the road to making your band work: scheduling a fill appointment. Then you can work on taking the second step: getting the fill and following your doctor's post fill instructions, whatever they are. It's the old "one day at a time" message, certainly not anything new, but it's true. I can't eat right and exercise daily for the rest of my life. But I can do it tomorrow, and when the day is over I can feel good about myself, that I did what I should have and accomplished my goal for the day. And my success for the day's work fuels my desire to do it again the next day.

Many people gain weight back before they get fills. Your band is not really working until you get proper fills. Stop beating yourself up and look to the future rather than to the past. You can't change yesterday, but you can decide what to do tomorrow. I'd bet none of us ever did everything we were supposed to, every single day, and never ate what we shouldn't, and never skipped a day of exercise. We all have our failures. Don't give up on yourself.

[tmfritts 0]

JORGE -

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

Call your doctor TODAY and make an appointment for a fill!! The band is not magic - you do have to work at it! Use it as the tool it was meant to be - get a fill - get some restriction, then follow a sensible diet and you will be successful!!!

You can do it!!

We are all here for you!!! We are all on this journey together - take it one day at a time!

Let us know!!

PICK UP THE PHONE NOW AND CALL - DO THIS FOR YOURSELF!!!!

Terri :thumbup:

[hcisneros 0]

This surgery is not a qucik fix, its just a tool to help us fight this disease. Its very challenging and not an instant fix. food addiction will be a lifeling battle just like for alcoholics, you have to be ready to fight the fight. But remember you cant do it alone, get to a local support group or jin Weight wathchers. They sometimes have a 100 plus group<but either way they will rally around you> we can still eat with a band so if we donthave help it can be overwhelimng. Get that appt asap, tell yourself you are worth it> frankly your dr needs to step up and offer resources,ask him what he can recommend. Also see a therapist who specializes in weight loss, that has helped me alot. I am surprised your dr didnt recommend gastric bypass instead of lapband.....but look at the bright side with the band you are in control.

I own a rental in queen creek so I know where you are, maybe one day we can compare pictures after our success!

[brattyone808 0]

Jorge,

been there and done that my friend, I was exactly like you feeling embarrassed and let down, but please listen to all the great advise you are receiving here and please make that fill appointment so you too can be on your way as I am to a road of success, it's a slow go for me but at least I'm moving in the right direction(losing) now, keep ya head and spirits up my friend.

[SueAZ 3]

Jorge, make tomorrow your new start date. Call your doctor for a fill. The band allows us all to start again. I too did well before and right after surgery but now 6 weeks out and I badly need my first fill. Anything can and will go down my mouth and I need to stop it now.. First fill scheduled 7/11.

[jess187 0]

i have to say i went off a little too, (i thought it was only me) i dont have my first fill until august 1st and i can eat anything which is making it really hard for me to keep on track. after reading everyones posts i am making it my job to get back on track... just wanted to say that

[terrasmom 0]

You are not a failure. You are definately part of the learning curve that it takes to live with a band now. It's a different life and all of us have had setbacks and then gotten back on track. The key is sitting there being upset with yourself is wasting time. Go back to the doctors office, tell the truth, get their suggestions. Do not waste any more time on self loathing, it does not get you to the next stage. Do what the rest of us do -- simply say to yourself "OK I got off track, but now I choose to get back on track and do this right!"

Good luck!!

[LaMonica 6]

Jorge I agree with everyone else...YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!! You are experiencing moments of weakness, and it seems hard to get up when you think of doing everything at once. Take it 1 day at a time, 1 hour at a time, as best as you can.

Come here for support.....go to support groups....this is not easy and it takes time...and you will slip up. But the big picture is you are going to be a healthier person no matter what the scale may say on a daily basis. I would stop using a scale.....I am dealing with the same feelings you are and I need to stop weighing myself. I need to go by how I feel, what I eat, and what activity I do. The weight will go down in due time I don't have to monitor it at all times. WE are here for you!!!!

(((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))