Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Help!!! Have i failed???



Recommended Posts

Hello my name is Jorge and I live in Queen Creek, Arizona. I am 32 years old and I weigh 499 lbs, thats if I havent gained all my weight back. I got my lap band surgery on May 12 2008 and I went down from 537 lbs to 499 the week before my surgery. Even after my surgery I was doing good with my preop and postop liquid and soft food diet stages, until about the 3rd or 4th week when I was able to eat regular foods now I am out of control. My food addiction has kicked in. I was supposed to go for my 1st fill on June 25 and I keep postponing because I am so embarrased to go and I feel like I have truly gained some of the weight back. Has this happened to anyone else??? I have alot of weight to loose...my doctor said that my ideal to loose would be 250-275 lbs...so I have a long way to go...and with this setback I am so embarrased to go to my doctors office and get weighed. I have even tried to do crash diets but they don't work!!! I am a carbs addict and I just feel like a total failure!!!...The whole reason for getting this surgery was to loose the weight and feel good physically and emotionally...right now I just feel crappy and emotionally like a total failure...Am I the only one that this happened to??? Is there anyone that has had this happen to as well??? Should I feel like this???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have failed at the point you give up and say you are never getting a fill, never going to try again, never going to make any attempt to make the band work for you. Until you truly reach that point, you are just taking a break from being a good bandster.

Why don't you just call your doctor tomorrow morning and schedule a fill? Don't drive yourself nuts and try in your head to lose the entire 250 lb at once. Take one step on the road to making your band work: scheduling a fill appointment. Then you can work on taking the second step: getting the fill and following your doctor's post fill instructions, whatever they are. It's the old "one day at a time" message, certainly not anything new, but it's true. I can't eat right and exercise daily for the rest of my life. But I can do it tomorrow, and when the day is over I can feel good about myself, that I did what I should have and accomplished my goal for the day. And my success for the day's work fuels my desire to do it again the next day.

Many people gain weight back before they get fills. Your band is not really working until you get proper fills. Stop beating yourself up and look to the future rather than to the past. You can't change yesterday, but you can decide what to do tomorrow. I'd bet none of us ever did everything we were supposed to, every single day, and never ate what we shouldn't, and never skipped a day of exercise. We all have our failures. Don't give up on yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

JORGE -

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

Call your doctor TODAY and make an appointment for a fill!! The band is not magic - you do have to work at it! Use it as the tool it was meant to be - get a fill - get some restriction, then follow a sensible diet and you will be successful!!!

You can do it!!

We are all here for you!!! We are all on this journey together - take it one day at a time!

Let us know!!

PICK UP THE PHONE NOW AND CALL - DO THIS FOR YOURSELF!!!!

Terri :thumbup:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This surgery is not a qucik fix, its just a tool to help us fight this disease. Its very challenging and not an instant fix. food addiction will be a lifeling battle just like for alcoholics, you have to be ready to fight the fight. But remember you cant do it alone, get to a local support group or jin Weight wathchers. They sometimes have a 100 plus group<but either way they will rally around you> we can still eat with a band so if we donthave help it can be overwhelimng. Get that appt asap, tell yourself you are worth it> frankly your dr needs to step up and offer resources,ask him what he can recommend. Also see a therapist who specializes in weight loss, that has helped me alot. I am surprised your dr didnt recommend gastric bypass instead of lapband.....but look at the bright side with the band you are in control.

I own a rental in queen creek so I know where you are, maybe one day we can compare pictures after our success!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jorge,

been there and done that my friend, I was exactly like you feeling embarrassed and let down, but please listen to all the great advise you are receiving here and please make that fill appointment so you too can be on your way as I am to a road of success, it's a slow go for me but at least I'm moving in the right direction(losing) now, keep ya head and spirits up my friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jorge, make tomorrow your new start date. Call your doctor for a fill. The band allows us all to start again. I too did well before and right after surgery but now 6 weeks out and I badly need my first fill. Anything can and will go down my mouth and I need to stop it now.. First fill scheduled 7/11.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i have to say i went off a little too, (i thought it was only me) i dont have my first fill until august 1st and i can eat anything which is making it really hard for me to keep on track. after reading everyones posts i am making it my job to get back on track... just wanted to say that

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are not a failure. You are definately part of the learning curve that it takes to live with a band now. It's a different life and all of us have had setbacks and then gotten back on track. The key is sitting there being upset with yourself is wasting time. Go back to the doctors office, tell the truth, get their suggestions. Do not waste any more time on self loathing, it does not get you to the next stage. Do what the rest of us do -- simply say to yourself "OK I got off track, but now I choose to get back on track and do this right!"

Good luck!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jorge I agree with everyone else...YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!! You are experiencing moments of weakness, and it seems hard to get up when you think of doing everything at once. Take it 1 day at a time, 1 hour at a time, as best as you can.

Come here for support.....go to support groups....this is not easy and it takes time...and you will slip up. But the big picture is you are going to be a healthier person no matter what the scale may say on a daily basis. I would stop using a scale.....I am dealing with the same feelings you are and I need to stop weighing myself. I need to go by how I feel, what I eat, and what activity I do. The weight will go down in due time I don't have to monitor it at all times. WE are here for you!!!!

(((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×