Gratitude?

KatsenD · July 1, 2008

I can't speak for all of you, only myself, but how do you handle wonderful comments. I had always heard negative comments: big old girl (right before my surgery), fat, big mama, obese, you name it, I heard it. But when people say, your looking great!, what have you been doing? Looking good!, how do you respond to that. I feel odd when people say that to me now. I just smile and to some I have actually told them about my surgery.

I am so grateful to have done this. It is really working for me. From this forum, I learned a lot. In the beginning, after surgery, to cut all my portions down and am still doing it. I found that I am not hungry, like I thought I would be. This is a wonderful TOOL.

Well, I wont ramble on. But I just thought I would put this out there.

Thanks, D'

sxevan9 · July 1, 2008

That exact thing came up in my counseling session. My docotor said other patients who have had surgery didn't know how to respond when they get comments.... I think you are handeling the best way, by just saying thank you and smiling, don't feel obligated to tell anybody about being banded unless you want too.. Congratulations on your sucess so far and good luck

chocolate_snaps · July 1, 2008

Admittedly, I am having a very hard time accepting compliments. I feel grateful I think but I feel more like I dont deserve it. Not because of having had surgery but because I have issues:thumbdown:.

When told how great I look now I usually say, "You think so? Thanks." That doesnt sound grateful at all, it sounds like I have low self esteem (lightbulb).

Im really not used to people telling me how good I look. However I am working on it. Because at some point I am gonna get to goal and people are gonna stop telling me how good I look after losing so much weight. Theyre gonna be used to seeing me looking gorgeous so they may not comment:tongue:.

Edited July 1, 2008 by chocolate_snaps

Northwest_Nance · July 1, 2008

It's a pretty good dilemma to have, isn't i? :lol:

I was banded on May 15th and although I've lost over 30 pounds it still isn't enough for people to really notice much in the way of weight loss, but my whole attitude is so much better.... people have been saying things like "You have a glow about you", "You are so lively these days", "You look great, you must be really taking good care of yourself", "You just seem like a new person". I smile and say "Thank you! I feel really good".

(I used to spend a lot of time lying around on the beach in your town!)

Brandy~ · July 1, 2008

I just say Thanks!

We all work hard to be able to hear that. We need to embrace it whole heartedly because each and everyone of us deserve to hear those wonderful accomplishments. These are one of the best NSV's you will ever have. Each time you say Thanks! you radiate confidence and that.........IS SEXY!

So stand up be proud and accept whatever compliment they want to throw your way. Oh and the best is when they don't know you've had the surgery so they aren't looking to see if you've change.

Live it up!

Shinyhappymommy · July 1, 2008

I actually have no problem smiling and saying thanks. Sometimes I'll include, "I'm feeling pretty good." Or "I'm pretty excited about things." Most of these conversations are with people who know I'm banded.

I know I'm looking better. I am feeling better and much more confident and that makes as much difference as the weight loss in how people perceive us.

One Sunday at church, I had just gotten some properly fitting clothes, cut my hair and gotten contacts. There were a couple of ladies who hadn't seen me in a few weeks. I walked into the room and several of them exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! You look so amazing! Holy Cow!" and the like. I was genuinely embarrassed. I thanked them and then quickly excused myself to go to the bathroom. I want people to give me compliments and notice the changes in me, but that was a little too much all at once. It did make me feel good, though.

KelinTx · July 1, 2008

My standard reply is....Thank you so much for noticing and thank you even more for saying so! Having people notice my weight loss and commenting on it gives me great motivation. Alot of people are shy about commenting so when i get a compliment on my weight loss i always thank them for saying so.

OH Juli · July 2, 2008

For the most part, do as you were taught when someone says something nice to you. Say, "Thank you." and then if you want to keep talking but not about yourself, say, "Did you get your hair cut? is that a new blouse? I love that color on you...." turn the conversation around to the complimenter.

Or I've been known to say, "Thanks, I've got a bit to go still." or "awe shucks, it's nice of you to say something"

But move on to the weather or something quickly if you uncomfortable.

As for the, "You can tell?" I think that opens people up to many possible horrible things I'd never want to hear. "Like hell yeah I can tell you were HUGE!" or "I wouldn't have said something if I couldn't tell, I noticed, I said something, it's obvious I can tell." Now I'm projecting mean onto the very nice people.

Don't let this get to you, it's only going to happen more.

Brandy~ · July 2, 2008

For the most part, do as you were taught when someone says something nice to you. Say, "Thank you." and then if you want to keep talking but not about yourself, say, "Did you get your hair cut? is that a new blouse? I love that color on you...." turn the conversation around to the complimenter.
Or I've been known to say, "Thanks, I've got a bit to go still." or "awe shucks, it's nice of you to say something"

But move on to the weather or something quickly if you uncomfortable.

As for the, "You can tell?" I think that opens people up to many possible horrible things I'd never want to hear. "Like hell yeah I can tell you were HUGE!" or "I wouldn't have said something if I couldn't tell, I noticed, I said something, it's obvious I can tell." Now I'm projecting mean onto the very nice people.

Don't let this get to you, it's only going to happen more.

Juli I see you moved your ticker :mellow: Another 5 pounds wtg. :thumbup: :thumbup: