I'm Wondering--did you TELL?

[thughes113 0]

I have told people, but only the people I know will be supportive and not push their opinions on me. I haven't told dh's dad's side of the family and I don't plan too unless they ask about me loosing weight after the fact. I don't wanna deal with the "are you sure that's what you wanna do?" and I don't want them calling me everyday seeing how I am doing. My mom, dad, and sister know, but we haven't told extended family yet. My husband's mom and grandparents know.

Good luck! I started my journey in March and after all the appointments, tests, doctors visits, etc., I was banded on 6/27. It will be here before you know it!

[KikiVal315 4]

i did tell immediate family and then the ENTIRE family found out just a couple of weeks ago when they saw me at a family reunion and asked what my weight loss secret was...i told them. i did tell some people at work, when they asked, “so how was your vacation?” I then would reply, “uh, I didn’t go on vacation, I had surgery…” of course they asked, but I told them. there are some people I didn’t tell, but if they find out through office gossip, I don’t care. There is this one person who I kind of wish I didn’t tell, every SINGLE time she calls the officeshe asks me are down? How much have you lost so far? THAT GETS REALLY OLD!

[bugsbuni70 1]

i did tell immediate family and then the ENTIRE family found out just a couple of weeks ago when they saw me at a family reunion and asked what my weight loss secret was...i told them. i did tell some people at work, when they asked, “so how was your vacation?” I then would reply, “uh, I didn’t go on vacation, I had surgery…” of course they asked, but I told them. there are some people I didn’t tell, but if they find out through office gossip, I don’t care. There is this one person who I kind of wish I didn’t tell, every SINGLE time she calls the officeshe asks me are down? How much have you lost so far? THAT GETS REALLY OLD!

I just started my journey . The only people I told are my Dad my husband and my daughter. I'm telling my mom until after I have everything in finalized. I'm not telling anyone else .

else

[IRC 0]

I wish I had just stayed with my original plan of telling only my husband and two daughters. I know there have been a lot of negative responses and opinions told behind my back.

[kaytiebugs 0]

I'm not banded yet, but I will be.

I'm still trying to think of what to say to people. My close friends and some family know (DH, mom, step dad, and maybe one or two others). I wouldn't tell anyone BUT then when I start losing they're all going to be thinking "Well, why didn't she try losing weight sooner?!?" I have tried a bagillion times and it doesn't happen. So I'm thinking about saying something more like my doc finally got the right combo of meds for my PCOS and thyroid problem.... that sounds a little more "PC" or socially acceptable or whatever.

[KikiVal315 4]

oh man, yes some people can be negative!!! but you have to brush all that negativity off and concentrate on you and the new journey you're about to begin. whatever you all descide, to tell or not, its all up to you. =)

[lynnie77 0]

When I first decided to have the surgery, I wasn't going to tell anyone except my husband and mother. They were both very supportive. I didn't even tell my work. They just thought I had the day off because I needed a break. Anyway, once I had the surgery, I was so excited about it, that I started telling everyone. Now, most people know about it, and everyone has been really excited for me. I guess it just depends on how well your support system is.

Good luck to you! Either way, the band is definately worth it!

lynnie77

[waikiki 0]

I have told everyone I come in contact with that knows me.. all of my co-workers know, all of my family and friends. I have not had any negative feedback from anyone. Everyone knows how hard I have tried to loose weight and how long I have wanted this surgery and they have all been very supportive of this surgery. Even my 96 year old grandmother can't wait to see me!

If you feel like you have to keep it a secret then do so.. I felt I needed to tell everyone because that is just how I am. I think by telling my friends and coworkers they will be very supportive and help me with the process. I work in a hospital and that might be to my advantage in my healing and journey although I did not have my surgery at the hospital where I work. My friends and family also are very supportive and call to check on me and make sure I have rides to where I need to go while I can't drive. They have also made sure that in my dad's passing this past weekend they didn't bring over any food to my house as they know I can't have it.

If anyone has negative comments sometimes it stems from them maybe not knowing enough about the lapband program and maybe you can take them to a seminar or a support group meeting where they can get some information about the lapband and be more informed and see that it's not just a fad.

[dazzle1 0]

I've only told five people - two sisters, a brother in law and two friends. I don't want to tell anyone else in my family. I'm pretty sure I won't have positive support. I don't like the way one of my friends keeps asking me if I'll be seeing a psychologist too. According to her I should. She also keep telling me I'll have to stop eating certain foods. She's petite and seldom eats -- me on the other hand, eats for any occasion!

I'm being very vague at work... although I have said I was having some follow-up surgery to a procedure I had a couple of months ago. I'm not sure how much time I'll be away from work so I figured they needed to know something.

Bottom line is that it is up to each individual to decide what works for them and their own timing schedule.

whatever you decide is right for you.

good luck!

[JuJuNJ 0]

No I did not tell anyone I didnt have to - my reason in 2004 I had the bypass - 2006 gave birth and never lost the baby weight - so I'm "embarrassed" I guess to admit I had to have the revision done this past April - so only my hubby & best friend & brother know - I told my office & families that I had a different type of surgery - and I didnt tell my sis cause she worries - plus she had the band & isnt having a good experience (not losing any weight + shes a bit needy & would expect me to drive her to get her fills... I know it sounds awful but I cant taxi her around... longer story!) - so she doesnt know either - sp far Im only down a little Im praying by Xmas it wil be more - my hubbys Aunt noticed it right away - but I told her I was dieting.. Am I worng for feeling like a loser? (Not that having the revision surgery means your a loser - I just KNOW I have NO will power)

[dazzle1 0]

Hi guys.

I think its each person's individual choice. Personally, I've only told friends and family. It's workmates that are the problem! I feel terrible as I took 2 weeks holidays but said it was for "minor investigations" I've had gyn problems in the past so they summised it was this (I feel guilty)! :ohmy:

I don't know how I'm going to get by the eating thing at work as we're quite a sociable bunch and often eat together as well as going on nights out - which always involve eating!

The reason I haven't told anyone is not because I'm ashamed or the money spent (that's my business), but I can't be bothered with all the gossiping and questions that go along with it.

One of my friends was banded 4 years agon, and she still has only told me and her family!! She's lost about 7 stones (98lbs)!!

Camjay -- you sound just like me. I'm going for surgery tomorrow and have only told a few people -- not all my sisters even know and they live in the same neighbourhood as me. As for the people at work -- I've only told my boss and my secretary and said I was having some follow-up investigative surgery (I too had a recent D & C and they found a small tumour) so it seems logical. I don't want people watching me to see if I'm eating the way they think I should be. I also don't want to be judged. I just hope I can pull this off. My mom has been asking me for dinner for the past three weeks and I've come up with every excuse in the book. I'm not sure how I will get through the liquid diets and soft diets after the surgery. But I've gotten this far... three more weeks should go by quickly.

take care,

d

[Jessizzle 9]

i told everyone, and their mother! (lol) even strangers at the store.

However, i kind of wished i hadn't, because then you get those annoying questions, people trying to talk you out of it, and also the negativity!!

but i'm glad i shared my story.

[allielee 263]

I have told everyone.. my family, friends, customers.. and I haven't had one negative feedback.. I even have showed alot of them my scars ( I was banded on June 20) I am excited and proud of the choice I made. I did this to make me a healthier person. If people are not supportive that's their insecurities not mine. But as of yet it's been great. Honestly it never occurred to me that people wouldn't be supportive. I guess I always believe people are generally good.

[abrouill 0]

I debated on whether or not to tell, and I've decided that people are going to find out sooner or later. My kids are not great secret-keepers, and they know, so my whole small town will know eventually. I've decided not to stress about it. Someone on this board told me "you cannot live your life by committee" Love that advice! The only person I needed to approve this decision was my husband. He is behind me 100%! I've told my mother-in-law, and she, true to fashion, told my father-in-law and my sister-in-law. It's o.k. They all want the best for me. The only ones I kind of worry about are my co-workers. One of them has recently lost 65 pounds the "old-fashioned" way. I don't want to be judged by her. I just need to keep in mind that I am doing this for me. Thanks for listening!

[mauraj 0]

My husband has been very supportive. My sisters have, except for one, who can't understand why I can't just do it. Have told a few work people, not all.