I think I am gonna be fat forever.....

[Kimber-lilly 2]

so down in the dumps.....just stuck after two fills, eating all the wrong things--drinking tons of Water, tho.....and just stuck. So depressed. I feel like I fell off the wagon so long ago, i can't even SEE my wagon anymore.

I needed to go see my doc last month, but I got behind on my payments and felt bad about it. Finally able to send a big $1000.00 check to him, but still owe $750......making payments on that.

I am a nurse and we have all the stuff at work to do a fill and honestly, I have been tempted to do it myself!

I am depressed. Wah!

:think

[alatina 1]

dust yourself off and be proud of what you have done-being angry at yourself doesnt fix it-good luck and feel free to PM me or anything-this is hard and we do understand.

[Iluvharleys 15]

Kim - If you are sending him that much money, don't feel bad about making an appointment for a fill. Just do it! You really need to follow up with the doctor and keep your band filled properly to lose weight. You can do this!

Hugs!

[Kimber-lilly 2]

Thank you for your support! I went out and ran a few errands, and had a "little chat" with myself. I am going to call to make an appt for next week. Screw the $750, he'll get his cash, I need a fill! or a kick in the ass or something! I finally feel like I am ABLE to move, so I guess I need to exercise and that would go a lOng way to making me feel better. I feel like such a loser, tho--i thought I would be all skinny for this summer and I'm not even close! and people who know are watching and most of them haven't seen me since last summer---and I am stuck at about 50 pounds. Still wearing plus size clothes and ugh--my stomach! Just full of self loathing--ya know????

It is my own intertia.....going to restart this project called "ME" tonight!

[jqpublic 1]

It's good to see your thinking more clear. It all take's time. take little step's

pretty soon you will be runing! In the weight loss game there are a lot of emotion's or ups & downs.Get the fill things will work out for you.

[Kimber-lilly 2]

Well, thanks everyone! I called the office today and made an appt for an eval and a fill on Monday next week. That will give me um....4 days to lose 20 pounds-ha ha! Anyway, spoke to billing and that lady is sooo nice--she wasn't even worried about my account and hadn't discussed anything about my account with the doctor. Said she got my check and I thought I owed 750 but it's really 519 now! So that is good, and I feel slightly less embarrassed about letting it go so long (pulling head out the sand is helpful sometimes!)

Thanks again, everyone. I really appreciate all your support and help.

xoxoxoxoxo

Kimberly

[DtDtKty 0]

Good for you Kim for dusting yourself off and being proactive. I am sure that you feel a lot better now. Hang in there. You have already come a long way. I am sure that a fill and a consult with the doc will help a lot. Don't worry about your bill either. I worked in a GI clinic and the docs never knew about the patient's financial status. Only billing dealt with that. The docs get paid regardless.

Hoping the time flies to Monday for you.

Hugs.

[the best me 6]

Thank you for your support! I went out and ran a few errands, and had a "little chat" with myself. I am going to call to make an appt for next week. Screw the $750, he'll get his cash, I need a fill! or a kick in the ass or something! I finally feel like I am ABLE to move, so I guess I need to exercise and that would go a lOng way to making me feel better. I feel like such a loser, tho--i thought I would be all skinny for this summer and I'm not even close! and people who know are watching and most of them haven't seen me since last summer---and I am stuck at about 50 pounds. Still wearing plus size clothes and ugh--my stomach! Just full of self loathing--ya know????

It is my own intertia.....going to restart this project called "ME" tonight!

Wow, I'm so glad I read this and thanks for posting it...it's right on time as I have been in a funk the last few days. Dunno what it is...tried to blame that time of the month, that's not it, tried to blame the hubby, nope, not his fault. I was just in a funk, feeling low, no energy, blah.

It was my own inertia, just like you said. I had a little chat with myself, just like you did, and I also prayed, which helped, and now like you, I fianlly feel ABLE to move and today I walked 1.6 miles on the treadmill, along with all my other shuffling around.

Whew! Feeling bit by bit better as time goes by. Now if I could just get the laundry caught up and the kitchen clean and the kids summer clothes sorted and the checkbook balanced...

Anyway, thanks for this thread. I'm relating!!! and encouraged.

[Kimber-lilly 2]

Fat girl heads out for a fill tomorrow....

Getting re-aquainted with my doc, his great staff and hopefully a fill that will jump start my weight loss again TOMORROW!

So ready to jump back on the weight loss train--heck summer is almost here (and will last 2 whole months!) so I want to look and feel better than i do now!

I dread being weighed in at the office, however. But, I had a chat with a wise friend (she is like you guys--smart!) and she said that she thought part of my problem was there was a lot going on in my life and I was taking care of everyone else and not myself. I totally let myself go to pot. and she is right (toldja she's smart!). I look terrible--I am going to save my pennies and get my hair colored this week and a trim and dig thru my clothes to find something half way attractive. Actually put on some makeup and start looking like i give a damn about myself.

Still dread being weighed, but I haved to start somewhere--right?

Feeling huge and bloated....but with the right additude......going to bed.

xoxoxo

[jqpublic 1]

Good for you get your hair done! I Took my Daughter to get her nails and feet done and I got my hair colored last week we had fun. Tinted

Now back to you hope life is treating you good! It sound like your putting your foot forward its a start..... then you will have to make some time for your self

Do what ever you have to do to get out side and go for a walk! Good luck.