female only Ahem...very personal :)

[plain 12]

My only point of view is that you're in a situation that women find themselves in all the time: the struggle of sex vs. love. It's a fine line that all singles have to navigate....sounds like you're head is screwed on pretty good (uh, pun intended, heehee)

[Carrie_C 9]

Just my 2 cent's, but I think the best guy friend definitely has feelings for you, other than friendship. He seemed very worried about how much you were drinking and who you were with.

[Donna113 2]

I have been told that guys are never just friends with girls. They're not wired to see girls as just friends.

[Chrisann 0]

Best friend guy and I have a long history. I have known him nearly 20 years now, he was friends with my ex. When my ex and I broke up, BFG remained friends with me. When my ex stalked me, and terrorized me, it was my BFG that spoke to him and alleviated my fears.

We have gone on vacation together several times, even shared a room, with two beds and had never been intimate before the other night. Not even a kiss on the cheek. He has been through several marriages and lots of women. His first wife, and mother of his kids, loves me and only trusts me with the kids when he gets them. She never liked the other wives or women.

He needs me to go shopping with him, be it to pick out clothes, food, sunglasses etc. Says I was more fun to shop with then the women he was dating. I do let him walk all over me though. I lend him $$ and he pays me back.

I have been heavy most of my life. I never had issues dating men, it wasn't always flings. I've had an active love life. I felt that he was friends with me because I was safe; his ideal woman, the ones he married and dated where short and thin. He introduced me most times as his sister.

What is going on with him, even before the sex the other night, confused the hell out of me. He started to introduce me to people as his friend, not sister anymore. He says he is trying to be honest now. When I would directly ask about us dating, moving in, etc he has answered me with an emphatic "ABSOLUTELY NOT".

When this all came to a head the other night it caught me by surprise. I thank Plain for saying my head is screwed on right, because I am confused. My feelings today say go out and meet a man, go on a date or two and see how BFG reacts now.

[plain 12]

Absolutely. A little competition is never a bad thing. I think you're absolutely right about you being the good friend because you've always been "safe". I have a lot of "safe" female friends myself. Probably your weightloss caused him to see you as an attractive woman, not just as a friend, and he's struggling to sort out how that makes him feel.

So, because I'm nosy (and everybody else keeping up with this wants to know....c'mon, fess up people.....y'all want to know), how was the sex with him? Did you two generate any real chemistry??

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

ATD, I know you're just the messenger, so to speak, but I haven't read anything yet that I'd consider pornographic. Adult, yes....pornographic, no. I kinda think maybe the complainers should maybe not read this thread. After all, post #1 kinda sums it up, eh?

That is exactly what I have been saying. I told them that just because we talk about sex does not make it obscene or pornographic. I just wanted people to be aware how they word things so we don't break any lbt rules. The rules are posted at the top of the forum, and they are the same for any of the forums, whether it be in here, rants and raves etc.

I totally agree that if anything being discussed in here make anyone uncomfortable, they have plenty of other places to discuss other issues or their bands. There is room for everyone here to be happy as long as everyone follows the rules. I have copied the rule in question so everyone is clear about this issue. I DO NOT want the powder room closed!

1. Obscenity and pornography will not be tolerated. If that’s what you’re after, there are plenty of places on the Internet to find it, and this forum isn't one of them. Please make sure all opinions are expressed without being obscene or offensive.
   

Edited August 29, 2008 by Oregondaisy

[plain 12]

That is exactly what I have been saying. I told them that just because we talk about sex does not make it obscene or pornographic. I just wanted people to be aware how they word things so we don't break any lbt rules. The rules are posted at the top of the forum, and they are the same for any of the forums, whether it be in here, rants and raves etc.

I totally agree that if anything being discussed in here make anyone uncomfortable, they have plenty of other places to discuss other issues or their bands. There is room for everyone here to be happy as long as everyone follows the rules. I have copied the rule in question so everyone is clear about this issue. I DO NOT want the powder room closed!

1. Obscenity and pornography will not be tolerated. If that’s what you’re after, there are plenty of places on the Internet to find it, and this forum isn't one of them. Please make sure all opinions are expressed without being obscene or offensive.
   

Well said.

[AprilE 0]

"Power Room Gone WILD"

Hmmm, wouldn't you think by the name of the topic that it would might be a bit controversial? And why would you press further on down 7 pages worth of discussion only to say, "that is just sick."?

ANYWAY...

I can completely vouch for the Hitachi Magic Wand...it runs like a Harley Davidson, nothing else compares.

I do frequent the XXX stores....in hickville all there is is trucker ones. LOL I don't let it bother me a bit. I am just as entitled to be in there as guys. I take things out of the box, with permission, just as if I were shopping in the tool section at Lowes...LOL. Hey, if you are gonna spend 80.00 plus on a toy, it darned well better be exactly what I want. I also ask the clerks what they recommend, what is popular, what is new? I am the adventerous type.

One last point to add...lol

Having long past my 30 mark, I have come to the notion that you CAN differentiate sex and love and relationships. As a matter of fact, it is rather a relief that I could call someone up just for the romp and expect nothing more. You can be smart and be safe, and look after you own needs rather than breaking your neck chasing someone else's. Turning thirtyand more has been the most incredible time of my life, I am learning so much more about myself. The happier I am with myself, I can better connect with others, as a mother, and a friend, and a lover/wife.

[Chrisann 0]

So, because I'm nosy (and everybody else keeping up with this wants to know....c'mon, fess up people.....y'all want to know), how was the sex with him? Did you two generate any real chemistry??

You know what is was good! It felt comfortable, if I can say something like that. He kept saying that this was a no, no, I said so you want to stop, and he said no. But we connected, as if we were doing this forever. Neither one of us jumped up out of bed either like what we did was wrong.

I am trying to not think about that because if it doesn't repeat, I am going to be a frustrated woman. So I figure, don't think or remember and you won't want to do it.

I have always been a person that completely enjoys sex and when with someone in a regular relationship, has to have it all the time, and, when there is no one, I don't miss it. But, the transition period between having it and then ending it can be tough. That is why getting away for a few days is a good thing. No Fling Guy to tempt me and no Best Friend Guy to make me want it.:biggrin:

Edited August 29, 2008 by Chrisann

[Chrisann 0]

Absolutely. A little competition is never a bad thing. I think you're absolutely right about you being the good friend because you've always been "safe". I have a lot of "safe" female friends myself. Probably your weightloss caused him to see you as an attractive woman, not just as a friend, and he's struggling to sort out how that makes him feel.

I meant to quote the whole thing in my previous post.

I am glad a guy understands the "safe" female friend feeling. BFG didn't want me to have the surgery, didn't visit the whole time I was recovering, barely called, didn't want to understand the types of food I was able to eat. And called the band cheating to lose weight.

Since I have been losing, he's been commenting more positively about the band, but I think I neglected to mention he is 6'4" tall and 380 pounds. He is not interested in getting it though.

[Leslee 0]

Oh sorry...I meant boyfriend...And I also do not think this is pornographic...Its healthy and normal..But I personally dont like men on this site...I question their intentions.....While we are woman who just want some advise and to share experiences men just might be wanting to get off!!!!!!!!!

[whosyadaddy 0]

..But I personally dont like men on this site...I question their intentions.....While we are woman who just want some advise and to share experiences men just might be wanting to get off!!!!!!!!!

oh geez. Sorry you think that way..ill quit commenting.

[Carrie_C 9]

oh geez. Sorry you think that way..ill quit commenting.

No! Please don't stop commenting!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

The guys can post in here if they want to. Girls post in the men's room. Sometimes it's good to get a guy's opinion. Post knowing there are people both men and women who lurk.

Anyone can be reading in here, just not posting.

Edited August 29, 2008 by Oregondaisy

[Daisalana 33]

I have been told that guys are never just friends with girls. They're not wired to see girls as just friends.

I've been reading this mini-drama and watching it unfold. Just had to say, she nailed this on the head.

All of my 'guy friends' I've had through the years, have all tried to get with me at some point. Even the ones who I completely thought it was 100% platonic. I really believed we could be friends, and majority of them I ended up staying friends with.. but at some point in the years I'd know them, they tried something at least once.