female only Ahem...very personal :)

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Chrisann, Go to the forums at the top of the page at plenty offish. There are a lot of categories to participate in. I do more reading than posting.

You could go into the ask a guy section and tell them about your 'friend" all the guys will give their opinion on whether they think deep down he want to be more than friends. The sex and sexuality forum is also good reading.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

okay I just got home from going to the larger city. BF wanted to go and see his son. I suggested a stop at one of those stores that sell the toys. BF ended up in the car and said that place made him very uncomfortable. I have to admit, I felt lost in there. Finally a nice young woman came over to help. I ended up spending money on something that does not work.

This whole situation is so annoying. I am glad I will see the gyn doctor on Thurs. I am going to ask for testosterone cream. I have heard that is what women in my age group need to get that thing down there working again. She better not turn me down or I will probably bomb the office.

[Fanny Adams 7]

I hate to say this, Denise, but all the stress of the UTIs, yeastie beasties and difficulties in achieving full satisfaction are probably combining right now to make it even more difficult for you. For many women, achieving orgasm seems to be far more about their headspace than the physical sensations. I know I can't even get myself off unless I put myself into the right frame of mind and no amount of toys, vibrations, lube or trying will make a difference if I don't let myself relax and get into that headspace. I could rub myself sore without getting anywhere.

I suspect that this is where you are right now - subconsciously tensing up on each attempt, wondering "will I get there this time". This is the female equivalent of erectile dysfunction and the more anxious about it that we get, the worse it is going to be. My suggestion would be to STOP TRYING! Accept that, for the moment, orgasm isn't always going to happen. Don't push for it, or work for it. Concentrate instead on the simple giving and receiving of pleasure for its own sake. There's a lot of pleasure to be had in sex, without actually cumming. You may find that once the pressure to "perform" is off, it sneaks up on you anyway, and if it doesn't, at least you'll have had a lot of pleasure along the way, instead of anxiety and frustration.

[AprilE 0]

I would have went in with you D .I also suggest a different approach, there are plenty of DVDs out there that specialize in tantric sex, if you haven't heard of it, it falls into more of the spiritual side of sexuality. How to focus your mind, tune your body in with your mind and really explore a different kind of enjoyment. Kind of along with what Fanny is talking about where it isn't so much about the O as the journey getting there. You will also explore a deeper relationship with your partner and through a united connection you both receive pleasure. Some of them look a bit like tree huggers, but give em a chance. I have even seen seminars out in beautiful places with other couples, I would go in a heartbeat, but they usually are expensive.Just google tantric sex. :cursing:

Edited September 15, 2008 by AprilE

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Hey Ladies,

I have truly enjoyed reading through all the posts in this forum - y'all are a hoot and a half, and I've learned a lot!

Glad to know I won't have to give up oral loving when I get my band - I love doing it, my hubby is a world-champion at it, and we have no problem kissing each other when we're done. :cool2:

He's been with me through a lot - and we've been through a lot together...his kinky side recently got him in trouble with me, but we're working through his *ahem* online activities and things are getting better by the day...we spend a very interesting weekend just recently - DD was out of the house for a retreat, so we got a preview of what life will be like when she goes away to college. Let's just say we found out we like whipped cream on each other!

Thanks for being so willing to discuss such *interesting* topics - I love all y'all for being here and being so open. If you need new ideas on how to explore the more powerful, grown-up side of you, I found a great site at www.dominantdiva.com. Check out the e-book entitled "How to be a Dominant Diva". Nothing too out-there, but very interesting reading. Used two of the scenarios this weekend and had a WONDERFUL time!

Lemme know if there's anything I can do to help anyone else out...:embaressed_smile:

[Chrisann 0]

Ebony Rose, thanks for the encouragement and I will check out that site. We have had a blast with this section of the site, glad you are a part of it.

I see in your signature your seminar wasn't very positive, neither was mine, I wound up reading all the info they gave me and found this site, among others that I did research on the band. I can say now it was the best thing I ever did.

Now on the oral part, I can deep throat better now than before the band. Had one unfortunate incident when we ate too close to deep throating and I pb'd all over him. Needless to say, that was the end of eating before the playing.

Alas, now my situation has changed, and I can merely think of the fun I was having after my band was done when it came to the bedroom....

Good luck with your journey, its going to be great!

[mv031161 0]

Ladies....this is interesting:scared2: reading!!!!

[rhondalou117 1]

Lots of good reading. Thanks for all the info.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I would hate to have to go back and read all 28 pages. It's been really nice to have people to discuss these things with and not have to talk about it and be embarrassed. I have a couple of close friends I could talk about this stuff with, but they are no longer having sex because of menopause and husbands with ED. It's sad really. Just because I am almost 56, does not mean I want to feel like an old lady. My bf who is going to be 57 soon has the sex drive of a teenager.

[Gene888 1]

what a thread to participate...lol

[dreamingofbeingskinny 1]

SERIOUSLY! i cannot believe people called ua whore for asking, this is supposed to be a place to ask and recieve answers...Oh and I am sure someone else wanted to know too...LOL love the feedback!

[joecs1 4]

I applaude all the women here! Yes this was funny etc. But it was also honest. Iwish my wife would join the "club":crying:

[djmixon 1]

Sweetie, despite what the pornos tell men, there isn't really that much that comes out.... so, if you are worried, hold off drinking or eating anything for an hour or so and you will be fine... I feel certain.

[KristinaAshley 5]

Good question!!

[GipsyGirl 6]

OMG what a topic