Is moving away the last stage of recovery?

[Manatee 4]

Ok, a question for those who have been at goal for a while: when do people forget your old self?

I'm getting -really- tired of every conversation with people eventually including something about weight loss/eating/exercise/etc.

It's almost as if for most people, they're just sitting back waiting for the fatman to reappear.

I'm only a year out, so I'm guessing that this goes away after a while, but perhaps it doesn't. Maybe the next step is to move somewhere that people never knew that old me?

Thoughts?

[ilse72 0]

Manatee, sorry to say, I don't think moving away will help. When females get together, sooner or later the topic of eating/exercise/weight loss/dieting comes up. Blame it on our society which pushed the idea of an anorexic female as the perfect image. Hollywood, magazines, newspapers, etc. all push that a woman isn't pretty if she isn't rail thin and sick looking. That is a lot of pressure for women to deal with so eating/exercise/weight loss/dieting becomes a major focus and topic of womens' conversations.

[Manatee 4]

Thanks for the comments -- but I have a Y chromosome :tt1:

[ilse72 0]

If you are around women though, they are going to talk weight loss/dieting/exercise/eating no matter what! It is a major concern of theirs. Having a man present won't prevent that topic from coming up. Believe me, it has no bearing on your new self, or your old self, it is simply a very common topic when women get together. Be proud of your accomplishments and don't give their conversation a thought! Congratulations on reaching goal and maintaining it!

[hope2bhealthy 2]

i think what manatee meant (correct me if i'm wrong) is that he is tired of conversations with HIM about HIS losing weight. he is tired of being "the guy that used to be fat", instead of just "the guy".

eventually, i think that people around you will quit seeing you that way, but it might take some time. probably even in your own head, you still have moments when you forget you're skinny now, or you look at yourself and are really happy and amazed at how you look. that's only natural, because it's only been a year. but if you still think about it, you can't expect others that have known you a while not to think about it too. eventually, you will begin to just see yourself in the mirror and not be surprised, and that's probably about the time everyone else will catch up as well.

of course, if you want to move away, move away. there's a lot to be said of a fresh start, if you're able to make a fresh start. i wouldn't move the wife and kids half way across the country because you don't want people to know you used to be fat. but if there aren't any ties to the place you are, then who's to say that a brand new city and a brand new job aren't just the thing you need?

[gone 4 ever 6]

Hello Manatee...I have seen your picks..youre a Hunk! You look great! But yes what Elise said about womens conversations always turning to weight is true. So if you are around women all the time grin and bare it. If it is men just turn the conversation around to something else. By the way are you from Huntsville, Al? In one of your pics I thought I reconised something. Take care and congrats on your loss.

[Who'sThere 331]

People can be so insensitive. I once lost 100 pounds (in an unhealthy way and gained it all back) and the comments people would make were so rude. However, I really don't think it ever occured to them that they were rude comments. I am a teacher and the school secretary would comment about "now when you gain it back" (which I did, but that's not the point). The worst, though, was a parent who was trying to compliment me who said, "Oh, I'll bet your husband is so happy with the new you." I was so insulted. My husband couldn't give a rusty possum fart what I weigh. To him, my worth is not tied to my size.

Hang in there...just know that you are still the same person just in smaller pants. From my experience, I got used to the "new" me much quicker than everyone around me.

[Manatee 4]

Hope2B got it right, it's not a generalized discussion, it's about MY weight

And I've never been to Huntsville, although it might be an ok place to which to relocate :thumbup:

[ilse72 0]

Sorry, the way your wrote your original post, it wasn't clear that it was about you. But, on another note, many cities in Alabama are a great place to live...not just Huntsville. We moved here (AL) about 6 years ago and have no intentions of ever leaving. I was always a northerner before this move. :embaressed_smile:

[mom2twins 0]

Manatee, I think it is becuase they want to know what you 'magic' was so they can look better themselves. People don't think before they speak often enough. I have experienced this with twins, the first thing everyone used to ask was "are the twins natural or did you have fertility treatments". Just answer who you want to and the others ask them "how long have you been wearing a hairpiece" They usually get the hint, and if not just walk away.

[Chickie 15]

I have been at goal for two years now, and people have only just stopped commenting on my weight.

The way I am now is the "new" normal. It just takes time.

[Jachut 487]

I get what you mean and I think you're right to a point. I am still here for example despite being at goal for about a year now, because there's people I dont want to lose touch with, I find them fun, interesting and challenging and I still desire contact with them.

But I answer way less on this board now becuase more and more of it annoys me, I dont want to talk about this trivial matter or that easy to solve problem. My answer, dont eat it, just get out there and DO the exercise, stop sitting on your bum here on the computer complaining about lack of motivation. In fact it annoys me so much I had a very big typewritten PB (thanks Juli!) over in R&R.

But really, if I'm honest, its as much because I've changed and there's really nothing for me to gain from talking about this stuff any more. I've conquered it to the degree that I've found a new balance in my life and I'm hanging on to something that has little relevance to me now.

In situations where people never knew the fat me, its funny. I like it and I dont. I enjoy being just "normal" but sometimes I feel an urge to point out that I "was" fat. I dont know, it is a part of me and always will be and in some ways I dont want to let that person go because she will always be part of who I am now. I cant quite bend my mind around people assuming I was always a normal weight because its not how I think of myself. There's a really big discrepancy between what people see and assume now and what I really am.

[Nanook 2]

Ok, a question for those who have been at goal for a while: when do people forget your old self?

I'm getting -really- tired of every conversation with people eventually including something about weight loss/eating/exercise/etc.

It's almost as if for most people, they're just sitting back waiting for the fatman to reappear.

I'm only a year out, so I'm guessing that this goes away after a while, but perhaps it doesn't. Maybe the next step is to move somewhere that people never knew that old me?

Thoughts?

I learned running away to a new location never solves anything, that's just me. Of course my reasons for moving away were much different than yours. JMHO. You'll make the right choice for you, maybe you just want to get away! Doesn't mean you can never come back although I never have, lol! BTW, I had to check out your web page or blog or whatever you call it and got a giggle out of your "plate of seafood a la weinies"! Reminds me I have to do the dishes bye! Nanook:smile:

[Jazlady 1]

I'm actually starting to miss the attention of people telling me how 'good' I look. Now they've adjusted to the new me.

But what boils my blood more than anything else is when I meet new people who only know me now and they talk to me about fat people. It's like they look at me at this size and think I'm one of them and it gives them the right to put down fat people. That's when I have to tell them that I used to be one of them. You should see the looks on their faces then.

[Brandy~ 2]

I am nowhere near my goal weight but I already know how you feel. I eat, sleep, breath weight loss... and so do those around me. I am going nuts. When I hit a plateau I thought it was going to kill me because every comment from friends and family was asking if I lost weight, how it was going, was I exercising... They are trying to be supportive but once in a while you need to disconnect yourself from the weightloss and focus on other aspects of life.

New starts can be great! Just make sure you are really ready emotionally for a change like that.. Anyone with a band knows what preparing emotionally is like.

Congrats on the weight loss and I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide :Angel_anim: