Pictures of Jenna and her rantings

[princess_n_thep 2]

okay okay okay... i am breaking down. Here is my before picture before surgery and the picture of what I looked like 5 years ago. This is NOT my before surgery/after pictures but are my before/whattolooklikeagain pictures. The picture is AFTER I had a child and I know that with the help of the band I can look like this again.(about 150lbs, BMI of about 25). The other pictures were taken 2 days before I had surgery. Although I have lost 17lbs, not much has really changed in appearance.

I am doing this mostly for Paula M. who is struggling with her decision to band or not. Also for those that feel that lower BMI's should not band.

I want all of you to know that I bounced 50-70 lbs 3 times in the last 5 years. Diet, gain back, diet gain back. I know that a lot of you don't see the fat but I do. The rolls, the cottage cheesey dimples, the sagginess, the horrid horrid look of it. Maybe some of you WOULD be happy to be my weight or have my body but to me I look at this and cringe with the site of it. Just because you didn't SEE the same things we did as we were GETTING fatter and fatter, that is not our fault.

I will delete this thread in one week so take your looks now. I just wanted some of you that are so down on the lower bmi's to really LOOK at the difference. I want to make a change now so I don't have future problems. I am SOOOOOOOO sick of hearing the "low bmi vs. high bmi" saga and the close mindedness of some people on the board.

So if you are one of these people, you may get defensive and that is okay. If you are a low BMI person I hope you like that I did this. Believe me, I don't exactly like having this picture out there! Just taking these pictures had me in tears ALL day and was one of the most HUMILIATING experiences for me. But, for the good of getting some of you off lower BMI's back I am sharing them with the world. I hope that now you see that just because you are a lower BMI (I was a 32.7) that does NOT mean you don't deserve the band nor should you not be allowed to get it. And furthermore, if you post saying you don't see it, you are completely blind.

As I sit here with tears welling in my eyes, I hope some of you now can see that even less fat than you have can affect someones self image and how they feel. Please remember this next time you post your "opinion" on someone with a lower BMI or private message them.

Please answer the poll honestly. Your vote will be PRIVATE and you will not see the results of others with their names. The poll is to truly show the amount of people and what their BMI's are so pleaseeeeee be honest. I am thinking that some of you will be surprised just how many lower BMI's are successful and are getting the band as their chosen tool. No one will know you voted.

P.S. Penni or someone, please do the side/side thing for me.

[sandie1958 0]

jeanna. thank you for sharing that with us. i agree about the lower bmi. my bmi is 36 & i am barley making the cut for the dr. to send it in to the insurance company if it doesnt cover it i will be self pay . i think you look great thanks again.sandie

[Guest cammie]

Sandie: Talk to me about your insurance If they deny. Mine did at first. I will tell you what to do to help. Most people wouldn't argue. But I can tell you how to win. Cammie

[La_madam 20]

Jenna thanks for sharing with us your pictures and your story, Im sorry it was so painful for you but in a year from now you will be looking like your before pic if not sooner. The possitive of this thread is knowing you are helping others by sharing your story.

I was a 44 BMI ( Morbidly Obese)the day of surgery 4/6/2004according to Inameds BMI chart they gave me in their handout

Today, 13 months later I have a BMI of 29,( overweight)

Iam 4 points from having an ideal BMI according to Inamed

[bandit 2]

Jenna, U r so brave for doing this. I am so with u 100% and u and I have like THE same body shape! Our BMI is identical, and I as well have gained lost gained lost. I feel so blessed to stop all of the tears, whispers, the selfesteem issues that have sent me into eating disorders, depression, sometimes wanting not to go out with my friends because I know I will see someone I knew when I was in school and they will say TO MY FACE how fat I have become. People can be so heartless. It hurts so much......everyone with a weight problem knows that. I have had a weight problem since I was a child. I started with the eating disorders at 9 yrs old! 9 yrs old! I really believe that most obese people gain weight easier than other "normal' people, and then we just eat more cause like "fu*& it." We r fat anyways even when we do eat like the rest of em. Its not fair and someone with out a weight issue could never understand. They look at me like Im a gluton who eats icecream and chips all day. Let me tell u that is NOT the case. I am not a huge over eater. I do have my moments, but for the most part I eat healthier than ANY of my friends my age who are a size 3. And then they all talk about me. I look at my family members who r older, and I know that is where Im headed. Y should we wait and watch it happen be4 we do something? Y should we let our weight controll us when there is such a great tool to help us controll our own future. I am dedicated to making this band work, and I think most people who go through the surgery r. I wouldnt do this if I wasnt willing to make healthy choices and work hard. I have such awful self esteem I could never put up my picture like u did, but look at u now! This band has already givin u the strength!!!! U know this is going to change ur life!! And so do I. Thank God for doctors who can help us. Thank god for friends who dont judge us............I am so sick of being judged. Its been my whole life and Im ready to be normal. Thank u for this thread Jenna.

[dylansmom 27]

You are extremely brave for doing this. And I want to thank you for doing it too. Although I never posted anything about lower BMI's, and never PM'd anyone about it, I often thought it. Just being honest here.

I used to think, "Why on earth would someone who weighs 190lbs. go get a band? They don't need it! I'd kill to be 190lbs.!"

But now that I can see it from someone else's point of view, it really makes sense. It makes sense that even though someone only weighs 190 lbs., they still have experienced the same overeating that I have. They've still experienced the same self degrading thoughts that I have. And they've still reached the bottom of the barrel, just like I did.

And now I can see that it really isn't about a number (weight or BMI). It's about the way that those extra pounds make you feel inside. And it's about everyone (no matter what size you are) wanting to feel good about yourself and feel healthy.

So again Jenna, thank you so much for posting this. You have totally opened up my mind and helped me to start seeing things from other people's shoes.

[Zoe 6]

Thanks, Jenna, for getting up the nerve to post your pictures. I think you do yourself a disservice by calling your post "ranting." Sure, there's some dissent about the BMI issue -- but, hey, why shouldn't you get a band? I know exactly what you mean about the 50-70 yo-yo pounds. By taking action now, you've made sure you wouldn't yo-yo back to a higher weight, where maybe you'd be considered an excellent candidate for weight loss surgery by any standard! I'm certain your post will help a lot of people who are about your size -- not to mention those of us who were larger and occasionally get huffy about "lightweights" getting the band. Thank you.

[the best me 6]

Wow Jenna you are cool. And very pretty, I might add. I know you can't wait to get back into your 'kini! I see exactly what you mean. I certainly don't see you as fat and ugly, but I'm in the same boat you are in. I look at the old pics where my weight was so much lower and see how much better I can look! It doesn't matter what my numbers are. It's how I look and feel in my skin and right now, I am NOT me. Certainly not "the best me" But I'm gonna be. Screw the insurance companies. I wasn't fighting for this with them. Thank you so much for this post and poll. Your pics are dramatic proof that lower BMI's deserve it too, and need the help! Don't get me wrong, you are very pretty, but if I were you, I'd want to look like you used to, too!

I'm inspired to post my before pics at a 37 BMI. I'm all covered up in loose clothing but I have bare belly shots that make me cringe.

Way to go, girl. Thanks for the eye-opener.

[paula 4]

Jenna, You get a round of applause for having the courage to show these pics.

and in all honesty, I have no idea what my BMI was when I had my band.

[Madeline's mom 0]

Jenna,

Thanks for being brave and posting your pictures. I too had a BMI of 33 at banding and I really think that your pictures truly said it all. Hell my pictures if I posted them would say it all but I would not even let my husband get near me withi a camara with a stitch of my clothes off. I can only speak for my self but at my weight of 225 I loathed myself so much that I could not look at myself in the mirror. I did not want to attend class reunions or any functions for fear of people saying "boy has she gotten fat!. So thankfully, I had the opportunity to go have an operation that literally has been life-saving for me and so many others. For the first time in many many years I feel that I CAN get back to a healthy weight. Once again Jenna, I applaude you for this thread, your pictures and this poll!

[Rebecca 0]

Thank you Jenna! Brave you are! I've NEVER looked tan and lovely in a swimsuit, but wouldn't it be nice if it happened to all of us! You go girl--I'm sure you'll make it happen!

[babsyintx 0]

Jenna,

No offense, but I think you are beautiful in both sets of pictures.

Now the question is: Would I prefer to look like the first picture or the second /third picture? Well, of course I would prefer to look like the first picture. And a person would have to be blind not to be able to see the difference. We live a superficial world where there is a huge premium on being slim and beautiful.

Heres my dilemna:

If someone told me I had a choice to be healthy, no comorbidities, no edema, no hyperinsulinemia, no diabetes, no high blood pressure and no medications, but the trade off would be that I would be the weight you are in the second picture and that was the best I could do, would I have had lapband surgery? Well, you betcha. I know lots of very happy and healthy people with 30-32 BMI's that exercise daily and have a body fat index that is less than 25%. They would be considered obese by insurance charts, but healthy if you looked at their fat index.

I would say that the majority of us folks who had lapband surgery did not do it with the expectation that we would ever be able to wear a bikini bathing suit, get to a size 4 or have the surgery cosmetically to improve our appearance. And yes, this is coming from someone who is scheduled to have plastic surgery and remove 5 lbs of excess off my stomach that is hanging to my pubic area, 8 lbs of skin and fat off my thighs so I dont have skin infections anymore and throwing in a breast augmentation with implants just for me.

Despite all this, I will still have massive scars from knee to groin, hip to hip and pretty much everywhere else as well. I am doing this to improve my quality of life and my insurance company sees two of these three procedures as medically necessary. (The new boobs arent, but I am paying for it)

So there is a big difference between truth and perception. THat is why insurance companies pay for surgery for folks with 35 BMI with comorbidities and 40 BMI with no cormobidities. If someone is self paying for their surgery with a lower BMI and they are disturbed by layers of fat, I say kudos to them if they can afford it and they want to better their life and stop the yo yo dieting. And yes, I can understand that the pictures (at least to you are disturbing). THe last time I weighed 150 was when I was 15 years old. Yeah, I looked hot in a bikini and yes I can remember what I looked like. And yes, I have pictures of me at 160, 170, 180, 200, 247, 260, 270, 300, 325, 334 etc.. I know it can be disturbing and each person has a point where they wake up and are terrified of what they have become.

I was just hoping that you could also see another perspective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I believe that I am just as beautiful now as I was when I weighed 334 lbs. Yeah, I was miserable because I could not walk up a flight of steps without stopping 3 times to catch my breath, not because I didnt look good in a bikini anymore. I had the surgery because I was sure I would be dead in 10 years, have a heart attack and die and never see my kids grow up.

I guess its all in perspective....

Babs in TX

334/180

-154

new goal: 170 or less if my body wants to be there....

[KarenB 0]

Jenna, thanks so much for your post and your honesty. We look a lot alike, body wise but my stomach was bigger. I only weighed 10 more lbs. than you before banding. I don't have any pics to post, I haven't let anyone take one in 5 years or so!

[princess_n_thep 2]

I think some have missed my point in the entire reason for posting. Of course us "low bmi'ers" think that "high bmi'ers" should have the band. I am just saying that everytime I turn around someone is posting "oh i wish I could have that body" or "i wish I weighed that much" or "bmi of 32 is nothing".

My point was to prove that yes it is in the eye of the beholder and yes we deal with weight issues too at any BMI. BUT.... some people on here make us (low bmi'ers) feel that we are not worthy of the band or shouldn't be allowed to get the band or that we dont deserve the band.

I can tell you that if you looked like those pics up there (horrid little pics, evil pics, god I hate those pics) you would still have the same issues of being fat that you have now. Maybe people wouldn't stare QUITE as much when you go to a buffet but they DO still stare if you take notice. Maybe someone would feel totally comfortable with that weight and not care what others think but we (low bmi'ers) do and feel like total cows!

The point of my thread is to show that what is said on this board hurts our feelings. It brings us down. It crushes our ideas. It dampens any dreams we have. It PISSES US OFF!!

If I hadn't had this surgery, I wouldn't have made it more than a year later. It just wasn't worth it to me. I did what I needed to do. And although I am a firm believer that it was for cosmetic reasons, I would NEVER EVER EVER say to someone that because of a stupid body mass indicator that was made by skinny people for fat people that they can't have the surgery.

I am not saying that you can't have your opinion. If you think that looks great, well then ((sigh)) so be it. But it is fat. Fat on me. Would be fat on anyone. That is how I see it and believe me, others see it that way too.

This thread was to show that low bmi'ers have feelings and wanted people to recognize when they were spouting out opinions about others that there are definite feelings and tears at stake.

I am SICK AND TIRED of people making comments or Pm'ing low bmi people discouraging them. There are a TON of low BMI's out there and I was just FED UP with the negativity they recieve sometimes. It is a little known fact that sometimes severely obese people have to cut down on someone else to make them feel that much better about themselves (intentionally and not intentionally). I feel like a lot of that has happened here in LBT.

If you felt beautiful at 350, then great. But everyone else looked at you like a fat pig. Just the reality of it. Hurts? HELL YES IT DOES. But even at the weight I am now I am a BIG FAT PIG. Just not as big as maybe a different pig standing next to me. But a pig is still a pig. I am one, you are one, they are one, we all are piggies! Just different colors, shapes, sizes. Some of you grasped my point right away and for that I thank you. Some of you just needed it said in more blunt terms. It isn't that we are this fat and have no comorbidities it is that we can't STAY this fat. We yo yo diet just like everyone else. We just chose to take care of it sooner. If I didn't do something, we would be in the same boat as some other people with the HIGH bmi's and the morbidities. I choose to get rid of it now and be able to KEEP it off. Without all the sagging skin, infections, etc. I don't have trouble LOSING it, I have trouble keeping it off! The band will allow me to get rid of it through diet and exercise and finally be able to STAY that way.

We are all here for one reason. Weight loss. Doesn't matter what you "started" at or what you "bullshit BMI" was. What matters is that we are all standing/were standing/running from the same pig pen.

Babs, I am not really directing this at you but for those that feel the need to be so chicken shit as to PM me your nasty words rather than post here and be heard. As for me, I AM A FAT WOMAN.... NOW HEAR ME ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

[princess_n_thep 2]

also, anyone else notice that there have been 750 views of this thread and my fat pictures but only 43 have voted??? sad.

get off your duff people and vote!!

this thread and these gosh-awful pics of me will be deleted at the end of 4 more days.