GinaJ 2 Posted October 16, 2008 Some of my mom's comments stick out the most to me right now. When I was 3 mos pregnant, and had a 17 month old, my husband left me for another woman. When I called my mom to tell her that my world was falling apart, she said, "Well, what did you expect him to do with you being so big?". My family actually felt sorry for him for having to live with someone as fat as me. My mom called me to bring something to her work. She said to call her when I got there so she could come out to the parking lot to get it. She said for me not to come in to work because she did not want the people there to know she had a fat daughter. 5 years after my divorce I started dating some one from work. When my mom found out she said, "Anybody that would have anything to do with you can't be worth much". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carrie_C 9 Posted October 16, 2008 Some of my mom's comments stick out the most to me right now. When I was 3 mos pregnant, and had a 17 month old, my husband left me for another woman. When I called my mom to tell her that my world was falling apart, she said, "Well, what did you expect him to do with you being so big?". My family actually felt sorry for him for having to live with someone as fat as me. My mom called me to bring something to her work. She said to call her when I got there so she could come out to the parking lot to get it. She said for me not to come in to work because she did not want the people there to know she had a fat daughter. 5 years after my divorce I started dating some one from work. When my mom found out she said, "Anybody that would have anything to do with you can't be worth much". That is really horrible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilith 6 Posted October 16, 2008 Some of my mom's comments stick out the most to me right now. When I was 3 mos pregnant, and had a 17 month old, my husband left me for another woman. When I called my mom to tell her that my world was falling apart, she said, "Well, what did you expect him to do with you being so big?". My family actually felt sorry for him for having to live with someone as fat as me. My mom called me to bring something to her work. She said to call her when I got there so she could come out to the parking lot to get it. She said for me not to come in to work because she did not want the people there to know she had a fat daughter. 5 years after my divorce I started dating some one from work. When my mom found out she said, "Anybody that would have anything to do with you can't be worth much". That is horrible - if anyone should support you NO MATTER WHAT it's your mother! I could never imagine treating any of my babies that way, it hurts me just to tell them when something is too tight and that they shouldn't wear it, but I try to tell them as gently as possible, I just don't want them to go out and have some jerk point it out... And as far as your husband leaving you - I had a girlfriend who had bypass surgery, lost all of her weight, looked beautiful and caught her husband cheating on her with a chick that was bigger than she ever was! So if they are jerks they are jerks, period. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GinaJ 2 Posted October 16, 2008 I am the only one in the family with a weight problem. My mom and one of my sisters use to walk ahead of me when we were in public because they did not want to be seen with me. When I was a substitute teacher where my youngest sister went to high school, my mom told me that I better not let anyone know that I was related to her. My mom and youngest sister actually told me that I was gaining weight to get back at them. My mom use tell me, "Just when I think you couldn't possibly get any bigger, you go and prove me wrong". She brought me to my first weight watchers meeting at age 16 and 135 lbs. The lady weighing me in asked my mom if she was serious, or was this a joke. My mom told me she said that because she felt sorry for me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carrie_C 9 Posted October 16, 2008 My mom use tell me, "Just when I think you couldn't possibly get any bigger, you go and prove me wrong". My mom has said that to me before too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilith 6 Posted October 16, 2008 She brought me to my first weight watchers meeting at age 16 and 135 lbs. The lady weighing me in asked my mom if she was serious, or was this a joke. My mom told me she said that because she felt sorry for me. That makes me sooooo angry! I hope you know that just because you share the same DNA with someone you don't own them anything - you certainly don't owe them your happiness! Your life is yours to live, and yours to ENJOY! Don't let ANYONE hold you back! She may have brought you into this world but that was her choice, you didn't ask her for any favors - don't let any sense of debt own you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Momento Mori 1 Posted October 16, 2008 Wow. Reading these stories has been heart breaking. When my son was about 4 or 5 months old, the Water heater in the apartment above us burst and flooded our unit. It was around midnight. We called maintenance and they get everything taken care of, stopped the leak, etc., but the guy had to wet/dry vac our apartment because the carpets were totally soaked. I asked the guy how loud the machine would be because I didn't want to wake the baby. He looked at me--in front of my husband--and says, I swear to God he says, "What baby? The baby in there?" He then points at my stomach and starts laughing really hard. He says, "Ma'am, they can't wake up when they're inside you." This guy thinks I'm so retarded that I'm worried his noise is going to wake up a baby I'm carrying. ?!?! I said, "No asshole, the baby that's asleep in the bedroom. I'm not pregnant." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilith 6 Posted October 16, 2008 OMG - what an ass! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GinaJ 2 Posted October 16, 2008 Wow. Reading these stories has been heart breaking. When my son was about 4 or 5 months old, the Water heater in the apartment above us burst and flooded our unit. It was around midnight. We called maintenance and they get everything taken care of, stopped the leak, etc., but the guy had to wet/dry vac our apartment because the carpets were totally soaked. I asked the guy how loud the machine would be because I didn't want to wake the baby. He looked at me--in front of my husband--and says, I swear to God he says, "What baby? The baby in there?" He then points at my stomach and starts laughing really hard. He says, "Ma'am, they can't wake up when they're inside you." This guy thinks I'm so retarded that I'm worried his noise is going to wake up a baby I'm carrying. ?!?! I said, "No asshole, the baby that's asleep in the bedroom. I'm not pregnant." What a JERK! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Momento Mori 1 Posted October 17, 2008 Thank you both for your support. I was so ashamed. I think more than anything it was because it happened in front of my husband. I felt like I'd let him down; that I'd neglected myself to the point that the average person would think I was pregnant. I felt he deserved better. I've never told anyone this story and I've never, ever discussed it with my husband. I'm sure he's probably forgotten about it but it sticks with me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gone 4 ever 6 Posted October 17, 2008 It broke my heart reading how awful your family is to you. IMHO I would have very little to do with them right now. I would forgive them for their ignorance, but still have very little to do with them. Just don't be surprized if your family pats themselves on the back thinking it was their doing that made you decide to change your life. On the other hand I applaude you for your life changing undertaking. I pray you have a wonderful journey. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GinaJ 2 Posted October 18, 2008 I did not tell my family I had surgery. My mom has made numerous negative comments about my friends who have had WLS. I would never hear the end of it if they knew. In 2005 everything I had, including my job, was destroyed by hurricane Rita. I ended up moving 6 hours away from my mom. As hard as it is to be away from all my friends, and my support, it has been wonderful to be this far away from my mom. I hardly ever cry since moving away, and I use to cry all the time about the way I was treated. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilith 6 Posted October 18, 2008 I did not tell my family I had surgery. My mom has made numerous negative comments about my friends who have had WLS. I would never hear the end of it if they knew. In 2005 everything I had, including my job, was destroyed by hurricane Rita. I ended up moving 6 hours away from my mom. As hard as it is to be away from all my friends, and my support, it has been wonderful to be this far away from my mom. I hardly ever cry since moving away, and I use to cry all the time about the way I was treated. I broke away from my Granmother (aka GrandEvil) and my uncle this past summer. They have never treated me like family, I basically took over my mother's place as caregiver when she died in '93, I never realized what a toll their treatment took on me until I did break away, we have to live for ourselves, no one else is going to value us if we don't value ourselves! So to hell with 'em, :tongue_smilie: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willowglen 5 Posted October 18, 2008 I had an aqaunitence come up to me and pat me on the stomach and remark how fat I was, I said I knew I was fat but could lose some weight and be thin, I went on to say there is nothing you can do to not be an asshole. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Momento Mori 1 Posted October 18, 2008 Willowglen-- I see that you are in Raleigh. So am I. Would you mind sending me a private message and telling what doctor you used and how things are going so far. THanks, Victoria Share this post Link to post Share on other sites