Which type are you?

[libra 13]

Wow Kat...that was one WICKED sentence! LOL! My husband owns a psychiatry practice and I always find myself talking to the doctors about weight issues.

Depression is a chemical imbalance. It can be worsened by events but basically a person has it or doesn't. Medication can treat the chemical imbalance if you choose that form of treatment (just in case Tom Cruise was interested....LOL)

The psychiatrists I've spoken to often say that people may not be "clinically depressed" but instead not be emotionally equipped to handle stressors that others could. For example, some people could handle the loss of a job but someone else could fall into a major tailspin due to it. Technically, that alone doesn't mean "clinical depression" A person like that may get more benefit from counseling from a therapist as to how to handle the event rather than medication.

I think too many people are jumping on the "I have depression." train. I have a lot of tough things in my life...a sick child, mentally ill step-children..etc, etc. I know that I'm not "clinically depressed" though. I get upset during specific "events" that happen, like my son being in the hospital, for example. But during the non-event periods, I'm okay.

A "clinically depressed" person does not have those "okay" periods.

I know I gained weight because I ate as a way of dealing with stress, but that doesn't mean I suffer from depression. It just means I deal with a lot of stress and chose the wrong method of dealing with it.

It's so complicated because I have empathy for those who have been through a lot. And although I understand, the reality is that life changes need to be made to get through this. There needs to be enough inner strength to say "I'm not going to use this as an excuse any more. I'm stronger than that. I deserve better than that." Once I started accepting my own value and worth, the motivation followed.

[tommaney 0]

From what I know, Kat, there is a diagnosis of Substance-Induced Depression, which includes medications and legal/illegal drugs. It is also extremely common for people to "medicate" their depression with drugs. This is a red flag especially when looking into teen depression, which can symptomatically look different than how it presents in adults. When care providers are doing differential diagnosis for Major Depressive Disorder, one of the criteria is to refer a person to a physician to rule out medical conditions and drug use. This helps with separating mood disorders and substance-related mood disorders. But, they are still psychological diagnoses.

I'm sorry if that was confusing. Regarding your two friends, it's true that those with mood/anxiety disorders in the family put them more at risk, but it's not a surefire predictor. It's also true that you can have no history of mood disorders in the fam and still develop clinical symptoms.

Like Jachut is describing, I think the drama mamas will always be out there, seemingly thriving on misery and having unrealistic expectations. An interesting question to ask about some people is this: is this person recreating the drama he/she experienced in the past? There are plenty of people that have perfectly "average" childhoods that love emotional roller coasters, but there are also others that hop on that coaster willingly (perhaps unconsciously) because it is familiar. It's home. Anxiety, depression, abuse are thus produced again and again, through the generations, because it's his/her foundational model of relationships.

My personal experience has been discovering that of the children of alcoholics that do show codependent behaviors as adults, they often choose partners and behave in ways that emulate the dynamics of their original, unstable alcoholic homes. That is, unless they break the cycle with insight and therapeutic support!

There are also the more rare cases of actual, clinical personality disorders (e.g. Borderline, Histrionic, Narcisisstic, and many more). In the case of those with Borderline diagnoses, it can be very sad because medication will often often not impact the depression--it's a chronic emptiness of self.

The term depression is indeed bandied about pretty liberally! So there is a difference between depressed mood and full blown clinical depression, which is a constellation of symptoms.

[Kat817 19]

Thanks so much!

Not to hijack your thread Jachut, but, I do have another question!

My kids (step kids to be exact) Mom is bi-polar. She "self medicates" and goes off the deep end, talking to God, and going off to take down the Espiscopal Church, starting with her parents! She has been hospitalized several times. It is my understanding that before the drugs, and the "help" she gives her meds now she was fairly stable. What kind of risk are my kids at???

I promise I will take it to PM rather than further disrupt the thread---sorry!

Kat

[tommaney 0]

I pm'd you, Kat : ) I'm sorry if my post was tangential as well.

[Jachut 487]

Hey kat, we can talk about anything *I* say we can, lol. This is my thread afterall. Oh, the power!

This is rather interesting, its all along the same lines. Libra, I think that "clinical depression" is a more articulate way to describe the distinction I was trying to make. That's really what I mean, there's people who are ill and people who just think they are. And everyone *is* hopping on the depression bandwagon these days.

I guess, when you really think about it, people who are not emotionally competent or strong, who are recreating familiar thought and behaviour patterns do deserve patience and sympathy too. I'm just not the person to give it, roflmao! Or rather, I can, but if you show a preference for continuing with the histrionics rather than pulling yourself together, stay away from me.

Why does it annoy me so much? What does it say about me that I just cant deal with people like that, I want to punch them? Do I not like having my own fairytale of the world being a good place shattered?

I never want to dwell on negatives and it angers me when people do.

Shit, I started this thread to reinstate my own (inherently correct, lol) point, now I think *I'm* the one who needs therapy!

Doctor... I have this weird feeling of happiness and optimism, lol.

[tommaney 0]

I have Schizo-Friendia...I hear positive voices all the time telling me "you can do it!"

Won't be takin' that one to therapy, no way.

[*JASMINE* 1]

Hey, not to pull away from what you all are talking about, but I wanted to say that this thread has seriously had a weird effect on me. I was thinking about this thread as I was on my elliptical trainer earlier, and I guess it motivated me in the sense that BrandyII motivated Jachut while she was running. As much as it burns me to read the lack of compassion for the people that post on this support forum, I kept telling myself "no excuses, no excuses". You guys have drilled that into my head. I still will never take that approach in offering support, but somehow it has worked for me. I guess there's room for both compassion and "tuff love"

[Nanook 2]

Isn't there a whole room for mental illness where these things can be discussed and more people would benefit from. I'm not a doctor or an expert just a sufferer.

I was diagnosed with a "borderline personality disorder" and when you first hear that you think they're insulting your personality, lol! I did not want to have depression or anxiety and it showed up during a good time in my life, when things were going well for me, prime of my life and I was thin, lol. It wasn't something that I could control. I have a sibling who also had it show up in his life also around the same age, early 20s and he has no weight problem and never did and I don't find mine to be weight related, it's a physical problem. Think of it like someone having a brain tumor, it's a brain disease.

It's not just a painful, I'm so sad, I'm depressed, I hate my ass, my boyfriend dumped me type of situation. It's much deeper than that and it's uncontrollable fear, panic, sadness and a loss of pleasure in life! No one would wish that on anyone. One day you're fine and living a very productive life and the next day you're actually afraid to leave your house. It can be very debilitating. There's also a snowball effect that can happen where one thing affects another then another and makes many things in your life not as efficient and pleasant as they once were.

It can take years of different types of therapy and experimenting with various drugs. The sad truth is that once you've been dealt "the card" I don't know that many people that are ever the same again. I've never gotten back there. It's very hard to explain unless you are living this but it can almost feel like part of your soul has died.

Now I've gone through years of various therapies (still do) and that was wonderful and helped to an extent and have been on medications for many years and they keep me from jumping off a bridge or taking an overdose.

Not once did I ever feel like I wanted people to surround me and feel sorry for me because of the stigma associated with mental illness I was too embarrassed to even talk about it so how could someone feel sorry for me because of my depression/anxiety when I wouldn't tell them?

I have found that medications have affected many things sex drive, weight gain, Constipation, but what are the alternatives? Maybe one day they'll come up with the perfect pill that won't have those side effects. I've worked with professions for many years to get through this and survive. Coming to terms with my mental illness and being able to discuss it with others who share also has helped me. I don't know why I was so ashamed but I think like some other poster said we tend to be much harder on ourselves and be perfectionists and when there is some kind of flaw, albeit we can't control, we hide it and don't want others to think badly of us.

Anyway Kudos to tommaney for working on a mental health thread/social group as it will help us in two ways. One, it will help to educate people who don't know much about mental illness except for the various stereotypes out there and two, it will help the people who are actually dealing with mental illness come together for support they truly need! Thanks, Nanook.

[losingjusme 12]

Isn't there a whole room for mental illness where these things can be discussed and more people would benefit from.

yes there is

Mental Health and Lapband Life - Lap Band Surgery and Lap Band Discussion Forum

[Jachut 487]

Yes, Nanook, please understand I'm not talking about serious mental illness in any way or even trying to pretend that depression doesnt exist or is a choice. That's definitely not R&R subject matter,there's a board for that.

I'm talking about pains in the asses who whinge a lot.

[Nanook 2]

Yes, Nanook, please understand I'm not talking about serious mental illness in any way or even trying to pretend that depression doesnt exist or is a choice. That's definitely not R&R subject matter,there's a board for that.

I'm talking about pains in the asses who whinge a lot.

I know there is a social group here for mental illness issues, I've been there before and you have also. People do not necessarily have "I have mental illness" stamped on their heads or on their avatars. There maybe many "marshmallows" out there that also suffer from mental illness, just want you to be aware, thanks Nanook.

[Sades 4]

I am amazed at how harsh your comments are Jacqui. I think you need to back off a little on the mental health issues because you really don't know what's going on for people and not really up to you to be judgmental of them. You talk about tough love but this is nowhere close. You may find Brandy and others frustrating but that doesn't give you the right to come on here and talk about these people like they are some sort of low life. You may be a nice person in real life but you are definitely walking on the edge here. It's not about people not wanting slim people on here, it's more about wanting to talk to people who haven't forgotten what it's like to struggle through the different stages. I didn't really want to say anything on this thread because it is part of the R&R section but enough is enough. If people whinge or sound like victims then that's where they are at. We can try and help them but it's not for us to change them. This is a forum for everyone to use but rants like this seem to indicate otherwise.

If you've never walked in my shoes then don't proffess to know how I feel. Some people have had to go through a lot in their lives, way more than one person should have to and they are trying to survive the best they can and don't need to be shot down in flames because of it.

Look inside your heart and try and imagine what it feels like to lose siblings, parents, to be abused, to be abandoned,to be raped and the list goes on. If you can't then it's not for you to judge.

[pearlygirl 1]

I think it has been clearly stated that none of these comments are directed at someone who is suffering from depression, trauma or any other catastrophic illness or event.

Rather, the discussion is about those who make themselves unhappy. The eternal pessimist if you will. Not depressed, not suffering from any condition, addiction or affliction. We have all known these people and they are hard to be around, they're draining and tiring because EVERYTHING in their world has gone, is going and will go wrong -simply because they have decided it will.

I'm tired, I have a headache, it's too hot, it's too cold, it hurts, it's too tight, it's too loose, I won't have enough time, I don't like it, I can't do it, I won't be able to do it, nobody understands, nobody will help me, I can't do it by myself, I'm not good enough, I'll never be able to......the list could go on for pages and pages.

[OH Juli 15]

I feel the need to Jachut's back on this too. You can see a few ah-ha moments and shifts in her thinking if you move from page to page. Not that she's apolgized, nor does she have to, but that she's actually read and processed and admitted that maybe there are other perspectives that she hadn't considered when making her intial post. All of which does not invalidate her inital post's point that sometimes one just needs to find their inner resources and get on with the work at hand...

There's room on this big ol fancy board for some very un-like folk to find what they need. If we all felt and thought the same about all situations it would be a boring world indeed.

[OH Juli 15]

And as a side note. I interacted with a person whom I barely know this morning. In passing I said a bright and chipper, "good morning" he shot back some shitty comment that I can't even remember. It was an overcast gray kind of comment, the kind that I certainly didn't want to hear as a retort.

I said, "I was taught the appropriate response is, 'good morning to you too'." as I walked away. He followed me down the hall to chat me up some more so I apparently didn't put him off. But it was clear I was.

So let people be stinking soul sucking pits of dispare, I've got no time to suffer their foolish behavior.