Small Steps to Increase Confidence

[tommaney 0]

This subject came up on the Self-Esteem thread, but I thought it would be good as a separate brainstorm thread! Here are some of the things I've thought of and read from other posters:

--Wardroble check! Try wearing brighter colors and see if it makes a difference in how you present yourself throughout the day.

--Eye contact :rolleyes2: As often as you interact with another person--grocery store, any transaction--make a mental note to look up, look him/her in the eye, and smile. Even a "thank you" or "have a good day" might add some brightness to their heart and yours.

--Posture :rolleyes2: Check yourself every so often to see if you're sitting up straight. Sometimes your thoughts follow your body experience, so it stands to reason that raising yourself up to adjust and breathe may uplift your attitude.

Note that these things may be useful to try even if you are feeling low. I've heard the eye contact/wardroble suggestions in a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy class. It's all based on the premise that if you act well, you will be well.

I hope there are more ideas out there to add to the list!

[brandyII 9]

Well one thing affecting my confidence is my body, not my mind or my personality but my body.

I've heard that you should take a look at yourself in the mirror, naked, full length and instead of doing the typical thing we normally do and go and pick out our problem areas or not even be able to disrobe and look at ourselves in the mirror but really look at yourself and say what you like about your body.

It's kind of a scary thing for a lot of people especially women, but that is an assumption. I know men are just as body conscious as women but they do have a tendency to pee in public so it's a little different!

Anyway, I like the way my arms are even though my MIL thinks they're too fat! Okay I've said it, I like my pudgy arms. Remember now you have to train yourself to say what you like and don't focus on your negatives, everyone has positives and we are our harshest critics, well most of the time:wink_smile: brandyII

[MerryHearted 20]

Along the same lines as the wardrobe check -- for me it's not necessarily brighter colors, but taking the time to style my hair, maybe apply a little makeup, do my nails, and dress neatly -- i.e. not just jeans and sneakers, but wearing a pretty sweater or blouse with painted toenails and pretty sandals, for example. Taking a little time to look pretty.

A short walk -- even a brisk walk as short as 5 minutes can pep you up! Get the blood pumping a little.

Chit-chat -- I find that making small talk is a pepper-upper too. Asking the cashier or barista how their day is going, complimenting them on a new hairstyle or their outfit -- just going beyond the normal transaction of hi and thank you. If you have kids, chat with other parents at the park. If you work, be nice to your coworkers, even the annoying twits. :redface:

Do something nice for someone -- small stuff anytime you have the chance. Like if you get a piece of mail for your neighbor, walk it over to them instead of sticking it back in the mailbox for the mailman to handle. If you grow flowers in your garden, snip a few to give to a neighbor. In busy traffic, let people in, or let someone turn left across your lane if they are stuck sitting there forever waiting for a break in traffic.

[MerryHearted 20]

Along what BrandyII suggested, I've heard also of looking in the mirror and just telling yourself "I love you.". And when you mess up and are feeling bad about it -- looking at yourself in the eye, in the mirror, and saying "I forgive you." Assuming, of course, that you do. :redface:

[tommaney 0]

I love all of these suggestions. That mirror one is going to be hard for me, to be sure! Will it be a cop out if I just start with "I have cute feet"? Because seriously, I do. Perhaps I can start at the bottom and build from there...

[brandyII 9]

Along what BrandyII suggested, I've heard also of looking in the mirror and just telling yourself "I love you.". And when you mess up and are feeling bad about it -- looking at yourself in the eye, in the mirror, and saying "I forgive you." Assuming, of course, that you do. :redface:

Sounds good Molly, your pic always makes me smile! brandyII:thumbup:

[brandyII 9]

I love all of these suggestions. That mirror one is going to be hard for me, to be sure! Will it be a cop out if I just start with "I have cute feet"? Because seriously, I do. Perhaps I can start at the bottom and build from there...

Feet are great! You naturally begin at one end so starting there is perfectly acceptable. My only mirrors are high at face level so I'm used to just looking at my head and I think most women self conscious about their bods do. I know it's not easy but I'm sure a daily affirmation of how wonderful we are as Molly said is a good thing, maybe more than one!:redface:

I am not a shoes person because I prefer to let them be free but a lot of women are really into their shoes and maybe it has something to do with their feet I don't know, I can't relate. I'm not out in Birkenstocks or whatever they are but I prefer socks inside and tennises outside!

Another thing is to ask a "loved one" or good friend to tell you some positives about you, physically, or your character etc... it's nice to get it from as many sources as possible!

brandyII:smile:

[haudenosaunee 0]

Awesome post.

Great tips to improve self confidence..

[AprilE 0]

Nothing makes me feel better than helping others. Sometimes I pay for the person's coffee behind me in the drive thru, other times I make house calls to hospitals for a quick hair trim, or style, other times I go to the animal shelter to help out, they always need help with something. I am seriously in need of a pep, I should go help this week. Keeps me active, my kids active, and my mind off of food.:omg_smile:

[danieltooop 0]

"Nothing makes me feel better than helping others. Sometimes I pay for the person's coffee behind me in the drive thru, other times I make house calls to hospitals for a quick hair trim, or style, other times I go to the animal shelter to help out, they always need help with something. I am seriously in need of a pep, I should go help this week. Keeps me active, my kids active, and my mind off of food."

That shows how good you are...

Great..

[Jachut 487]

Oh, well I'm a bit more shallow than that.

Wear clothes that FIT. Wearing enormous tents is a hard habit to break but showing off your shape makes you look loads better.

And I'm a fake tan addict. I dont like a really made up look, and I dont like over styled hair with lots of hairspray etc in it so I just find all over colour really makes me look healthier and not like I died a month ago and was dug up. My "natural look" takes a fair bit of work - I spend a fortune for the girl who cuts my hair, she's a genius, I make sure its regularly coloured, I never let my feet get all calloused and dirty, I make sure I'm not hairy and i'm a nice even brown all over - never overdo the fake tan! But I dont like to look like I've tried too hard if that makes sense.

Running makes me look healthy and alive too - gets the blood pumping. And gives me a sense of pride in what my body can do.