female only SEX after banding

[gdf18 2]

Hi All,

I asked this question in the 50+ group and only had one response.....so I'll try it here.

My surgeon okayed sex last week- and I made sure to ask- plain old ordinary on top of me sex. So, my very happy husband and I went for it. We were both nervous...I expect it's like that with any abdominal surgery.

I found that I could feel a little pressure when he was on top of my stomach (I'm not getting on top- at least not for the moment). And as he moved, I thought I felt everything moving right along. It was not painful, but I was "aware" of the port, etc.

I'm fine so I know I didn't do anything hurtful, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this experience.

[NukeChik 1]

I'm almost 6 months post op and am always very aware of my port during sex. I find myself holding it sometimes if everything gets to jigglin. It always comforts me to put a little pressure on it for some reason. Sometimes I'll bend and it will cause a little tenderness, but nothing too bad.

[babs0101 1]

I too know my port is there when having sex. No pain, just know it's there. I have no problem with any positions....so far. When DH is on top I can definitely feel the pressure against my port, but it's not painful.

[Carrie_C 9]

I feel mine too. I think it is just normal to feel it, especially laying flat.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

My port is in my shoulder - so I am aware of it in different positions. If the girls get to moving too much I think of it, but it doesn't (shouldn't) move around too much where it is. Yours must be in your abdomin...sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I guess it's apples and oranges.

[gdf18 2]

Thank you all. you all made me feel much better. And Leslie2Lose, you gave me a real good laugh. I had a brief moment of thinking of all the positions that could make your shoulder port hurt and I cracked up. You don't even want to know what I could conjure up! LOL.

Thanks again, everyone.

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

Leslie- in your shoulder? I haven't heard of that.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

gdf18 - girl you have no idea! lol :smile:...oh the world of possibilities since I've lost weight. :tt2:

MrsFlipFlops - It's in my left breast/shoulder area. I get a lot of questions about my port location. lol

He chose that area because it has a less chance of moving around as well as the fills are easy. He places all of his ports there. Most chemo patients that have their ports are put in the same area. No x-rays, flueroscope...they feel for your port - deaden the area then fill. It is less invasive and cheaper too! I'm all for saving mula.:biggrin:

[Daisalana 33]

I actually had port pain a lot during sex when it was in my abdomen, I had a hard time bending in general without pain though.

Now that it's under my breast, I feel it, but it's only hurt once.. and that hurt was bad, I still don't know what I did. Maybe pulled a stitch out, during the motions, I felt this sharp stabbing feeling and then it would come back in waves for 5 minutes. If I scrunch up, it bothers me too.. kind of the downer of the band, I hate feeling the port during sex.. especially since now I have hurt myself badly once, so I am paranoid!!

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Before my doctor flipped it back over - I couldn't feel it at all - through my skin. I felt it internally - it hurt so bad those first few weeks...popped stitches will do that! The port was literally digging into my breast muscle. After about a month it quit hurting - if I moved a weird way it would remind me it was there.

Now I can feel it if I lay down through my skin, but there is no pain, just a little bump - literally like a breast exam. DH and I have gone easy since my revision surgery. He hasn't even touched the girls - I think he is afraid he will hurt me.

[patticNJ 1]

Now this is an interesting topic. I do not feel my port during sex, but when I am leaning over the crib trying to get the babies back to sleep, I feel it and boy does it hurt like heck. Sometimes, it just hurts if I twist the wrong way to much. I must say that DH and I are finding that SEX is much more better since banding and 38 lbs are gone, can't wait for another 40 to go away wow.

Patti

[BRANDYK 0]

I sometimes feel it, it mostly just hurt the first couple months after my surgery. You can fix that issue by laying on the bed with your legs/butt dangling off the side so he can just stand at the side of the bed and get down to business, that way he's not on top of you :rolleyes2:

[gdf18 2]

Okay Brandy.....how high is the side of your bed? I think mine is lower- but I made my husband read your answer and we figure we'll give it a go. Even if I have to add pillows.

I tried again today and the pain was worse than the first time. It was like a bad gas stitch and it radiated out and down my sides (especially left side where the most incisions are). We couldn't even finish. I was a little sore for a hour or so after. I was upset and crying of course. I don't know why I was feeling guilty but I was.

So, I called the surgeon and spoke to my favorite of the nurses. She told me that this is very common- she hears it all the time. Even though the surgeon gives his blessing- he really just means the port etc are safely in place and you can't hurt anything. It DOESN"T mean your tissues are all healed and there can still even be a little swelling. 8 weeks doesn't mean it'll be 8 for everyone. She said it could be another month or two to be really okay. If it's more than that....there's an issue to be addressed. She said not to forget that a lot of tissue were cut that's not a small thing.

She made me feel much better. I'm going to take a week or so off and let it calm down a bit. Then I'm going to try sex in the AM with no food in my stomach. Maybe that will help. And I'll try the suggestions here and a few ideas of my own. I really feel bad for my husband. He's 60 and I'm 56 and we're still rocking several times a week, and I really do feel bad about this. But at least I know that one way or another it will resolve.

She also said something else I'll pass along. She told me to start doing some "core" exercises because it will help healing and it will build muscle around the port and thus protect it. I'm going to get some exercises but even now, in the meantime, I'm going to just hold me stomach in and stand straight and do reps of it. That's core building for sure.