Were Moving!

[paula 4]

This has nothing to do with a lap-band. Im just in need of some love & guidance from my extended family!

Were moving.

Several years ago we bought our first home. A small (1200 sq ft) 3 br 1 bath - cutiest little house. After our 3rd & last baby came along, we realized that we needed a little more room. So, 2 years ago we bought this home that we are currently living in. Even though my older ones were only 7 & 2, it took them a good year to "get over" that move.

Anyway, my parents bought another home last summer and their old house has been vacant. They lived in this house over 40 years - only home Ive ever known. Everyone confused yet?

Well, my parents offered us this house. NOT to have, but to live in as long as we wanted. *no mortgage*

At their first offer, we declined. But after the holidays, and the bills started coming, we reconsidered.

So, here we are, 2 years later, moving - AGAIN! We signed the buyer/seller agreement yesterday with the people who are buying our house. So its official - were moving!

Why am I telling you this?

Im worried about my kids. Moving is a very stressful thing. Especially *MOST especially* on children. Tonight, my little 4yr old started crying asking why we had to move & telling me how much she loved our house. (we love our house too, but we love the idea of *no mortgage* even better - this is an opportunity that very few people ever get, so we feel blessed to have this outlet)

So now Im really sad. Please yall, tell me that we are doing a wise thing here and that my kids are going to recover from this.

[vinesqueen 2]

oh Paula, ((((((Hugs)))))), you silly, silly woman! Of course you are doing the right thing. It's a little known fact, but kids are actually made out of a super bouncy substance that only looks like skin! Why do you think they can fall without getting hurt? They are amazingly resilliant critters.

Don't make me get Zoe's boot...

HELLO! NO MORTGAGE!!!!!

Okay, yes moving is stressful, and children express stress by crying. Heck, I express stress by crying. Moving is strange, and they have to leave all the things they are familier with behind. In fact, moving is one of the most stressful events in a person's life. But, there is good stress and bad stress, and we need all sorts of stress in our lives.

I tell my son all the time that I have to mess him up somehow, just so he will have something to talk to his therapist when he's older. (he says I have to try harder apperently) In the last 15 years, I moved my son at least 8 times... Besides, they can always visit their friends, right?

So, Paula, what does it feel like to not be raised by wolves?

[vinesqueen 2]

oh yeah, did I mention NO MORTGAGE?

[paula 4]

LMBO.... I love it -

I tell my son all the time that I have to mess him up somehow, just so he will have something to talk to his therapist when he's older.

Thank you so very much. I just needed some reassurance. My 9yr old isnt very upset over this - since most of our neighbors are retired, there are very few kids around here - so they have NO neighborhood friends.

Oh, and we have our own "wolf" tales... (sigh)

[HarleyNana 10]

Actually Paula, you'll be more stressed than the kids. Once they meet new playmates and friends, they'll be good to go. Now you and DH on the other hand, OMG, all that packing and unpacking and sorting and giving away and lifting and lifting and lifting, are you tired yet? I'm tired just thinking about it.

When we moved 3 years ago we'd been in the same house 22 years, talk about some packing. I had two major stacks of boxes, keepers and garage sale, over half of my new garage was filled with garage sale boxes, I made a bundle.

What inlaws, no mortgage, just don't forget to put that money you would have been spending on mortgage in a really good investment, perhaps rental property. I'm not a realtor, but I am an investor in real estate and that's where you money will be the safest. If you sell your home, you could probably buy several. Above all means....do not spend the money, invest it!

Sorry didn't mean to lecture.

[the best me 6]

You go, HarleyNana! Good lecture! I agree about NOT spending the old mortgage but at the VERY least sticking it in a savings account for a few months and let it gather. Rental properties are a great investment. The market is good for that right now, but hurry cuz the interest rates will start going up again (they already have, but more slowly than I anticipated, whew!) Savings accounts and even CD's stink to high heaven for investment. You can get MUCH better return in a good Mutual Fund, if you don't want to do the rental property thing.

Now, what about Captial Gains tax? Or did our good Republican Prez do away with that? (Reps tend to HATE property gains taxes as far as I can tell). You may have only 2 years before you have to dunk your earnings from the sale of your old home into another...check on that or taxes will bite your butt. And keep that money you make selling your home working for you...

Man, what an opportunity!!!!! It takes money to make money. Not only will you have the sale money, but the mortgage payment every month, month after month after month. WAH! I'm so jealous!

You have done the right thing. There is NO doubt about that. And God bless your parents, that is quite a gift!

So, the kids. I agree with Crystal, no matter what you do, they'll end up in therapy over it when they grow up. I have said since my twenties..."you spend the first 20 years of your life getting messed up by your parents, the next 20 trying to fix what you think they broke, and the next 20 actually enjoying the life they gave you, despite it all!" I learned in my twenties to let it go and get over it. I was loved, not raised by wolves, and neither are your kids so they will be fine.

Just make an effort to feign excitement. This new house is going to be SO much fun to live in! Look, theres the...blah blah blah I rememeber when your grandparents used to live here we would always, yada yada. Whatever. Help them to look on the bright side. And there is no school change for them, right? They will adjust. Lead them through it, or they will suck all the stress you have out of you and manifest it some way so DON"T let them see it!!! ( I know, as if, right?) Tell them what to think about it by the things you say. Model that good attitude you want them to have. FAKE IT! You can do this.

[Iluvharleys 15]

Paula that is so cool! I can't imagine life without a mortgage! lol

Your children are young, so they will adjust pretty fast. You could let them decorate their rooms the way they want to and that would help too.

I am jelous, just think of all the extra money you will have for other things you need, like a new wardrobe for that new body! And, yes, don't forget to do some investing too!

I know what you are going to go through moving though, it is a lot of work, something I don't think I ever want to do again. Ary y'all going to do it yourself or are you hiring some of those moving companies?

Good luck! By the way, when are you going to start moving?

[gunn4ya 0]

Paula,

Thank God for parents and good ones!!! That is a blessing to you and your family. The kids will adjust just fine. Hope you have a easy move. Good luck to you and your family.

Just keep saying NO MORTGAGE!!!

[Alexandra 55]

Paula, OH MY GOD!!!! You have lucked in to the perfect situation. I'm so jealous!!!

As for the move, Kathy's right. I am now the proud owner (WITH a hefty mortgage, though) of my family's "ancestral" home, and I love sharing stories of my childhood visits there with my kids. My mother and her siblings grew up in the house, and there have been three family marriages under the maple trees in front. In various rooms we have old photos taken decades ago in those same rooms with members of previous generations. My daughters are the fourth generation of our family living in the house, and they get a huge kick out of that.

So yeah, you're moving, but look WHERE you're moving! You can make it a wonderful "coming-home" event for them and really set roots down that they'll appreciate. The moving itself will be over soon but the sense of belonging will be permanent. Congratulations!

[Penni60 45]

Awww Paula, I know the feeling. I had to move my 4 kids when they were young several times. They all complained but they adjusted very fast. I made a game out of letting them pick the colors for their rooms. They had a blast. The room my two oldest daughters shared was purple and pink, one was yellow and the babies room (my 17 yr old now) was blue. THey had cute flowers and butterflies and birdies painted on it. I of course got permission from the landlord for the artwork. I got the erasable crayons. They could change the artwork at their whim. And the girls each had their own side of the room. Pink on one side and Purple on the other. Too funny.

ANyway, this is a gift. A beautiful and loving gift. It allows some pressure to be taken off both you and hubby. Think about how much happier you guys will be when you can take that mortgage payment and "do" stuff with it if you chose.

HUGS Kids are elastic and will bounce back.

[Mita 2]

OMG No Mortgage those are words we would all love to hear.

Your kids will be just fine in the long run just point out all the postive new things with the house and them getting to meet new friends.

Wow you are so lucky to have awesome parents like that.

Good luck on the move.

We are in the middle of adding a 3rd bedroom to the house and man it is becoming a big mess I have filth all over my living room. You would go nuts

I am thinking we should have just bought a new house now.

[spldgrl 0]

Speaking from experience, moving is hard on everyone, we moved 5 times in 2 years. YUCK! Although my children were older, 13,15,16 I think it was harder than at younger ages, they adjusted fine. actually mom had the hardest time. You are going back home, you will know people and they will know your family. that will make the children "fit in" easier. The funniest thing we did was let each kid pick their own new bedroom, the final move only. They got to start from paint to bedding, yes, I bit my lip alot.Now when we talk about it, they say that being a part of the excitement and getting something "new" out of it made it exciting for them. Unfortunatly we moved into a mortgage so the best part for you is a dream come true. they wont get it now, but extra cash less stress, wow mom will be soooo happy they will see it so don't stress.

The last move, a very good friend said to me " It's what YOU make of it that determines the outcome." Again NO MORTGAGE how many of us would move in with you!

Good luck and think positive! NO MORTGAGE!!!

[paula 4]

You guys are so awesome!

Since my 9yr old goes to a magnet school, there will be no school change. And since there is NO mortgage, we could afford private schooling if needed.

YES! YES! YES! We already have our savings lined up - but living on a single income, its gonna be really hard not to dip into that periodically. This home is older and in need of updating! So we have alot of work ahead.

Alex, I had to use that on my Anne last night, "This is the house where Momma grew up. When I was a little girl, this was my bedroom, and now its gonna be your bedroom."

And weve already started planning what colors they want their new rooms to be.

*NO MORTGAGE* I just keep reminding myself.

[dylansmom 27]

I'm so excited that you were able to sell your home so fast Paula! I've been praying for you for the past week that you'd get it sold fast and to the right people. Congratulations!

And I agree with what everyone else has said. The kids will come around eventually, and once they get involved in the painting and all that, they'll be thrilled!

If I lived closer I'd come over and help you move, but I think that's a bit out of the question since you're deep in the South, and I'm way up here in the North. I sincerely wish I could be there for you.

Lots of Love to You! ~Kelly

[bandit 2]

Well, just a thought but with the money ull be saving, it seems that u will be able to do lots of new fun stuff with ur kids, maybe disneyland or family vacations once a yr that may have been hard to do before....point this stuff out to them. Maybe u could offer to put them in a new class that they get to pick like Karate or gymnastics. Thats what I did for my daughter when I had to move in with a roomate for financial reasons. It only cost me 30$ a month and I could afford to do it with my new improved budget. My daughter was thrilled when could go to the movies more often and stuff like that, and it made us closer.....DONT WORRY!!! Ur doing the right thing for ur family and u will all be happier and less stressed.