I'm slow but I'm dumb...

[Amisha 2]

and very wordy. I should get that out from the get-go because I don't want anyone to see the length of this post and swallow their tongue.

I decided if I was going to do this I should just stop being namby pamby about it and get on with it. All through my psych eval when the headshrink was trying to impress upon me the importance of support and all through the surgeon's multiple lectures and on through the nurses, my doctor, my counselor, the anesthesiologist, the janitor and the UPS guy, I nodded my head to each one of them and said, "Oh yes, of course! I am all about the support."

Suckers. I was secretly thinking about how "support" was a bunch of new-age mumbo-jumbo and I needed none of that, thank you. I got this way on my own and by gosh I was going to get out of it on my own. I didn't need to hold hands in a circle and sing Kum Bah Ya with a bunch of other sad sacks with too much free time and no self respect. I am strong. I am courageous. I am indefeatable.

Whoo, boy, what a fool am I? This is how crazy I get. I get out there a ways.

I was banded on the 11th of June. It all happened so fast my mind is still reeling. I decided I wanted to do it in May and looked into insurance. It was dead in the Water. It kills me, kills me that they are more than willing to pay for the countless medications and hospitalizations and doctor visits and endless tests that come with being overweight, but they won't pay for something that could make all that go away. Or, at the very least, greatly reduce the price tag of such issues. I don't suffer fools lightly, so I didn't waste much time going up that road. Instead, I figured out financing and took care of business. The next thing I know I'm laying in my bed, writhing in pain, thinking about how this was the biggest mistake of my life and I am sooooo screwed.

Of course I did lots of research first. I'm a fool, but not that big a fool. I had read about the band extensively prior to deciding it was for me. I interviewed people who had been banded at length to get a feel for the "real" deal. Literature is great for the mechanics. I could watch video presentations and talk to doctors until I was blue in the face, but I also wanted to know what it was really, really like down in the trenches. I did my homework. To the point of obsession. Knowledge is power and I wanted me some power going into this.

Still, nothing could prepare me for actually going through it.

Okay, it wasn't that bad. But it was - is - bad enough. The past few days have been rough. I admit it. I need help. I need support. I'll even sing Kum Bah Ya if it will help.

For all my blustering and protesting, I admit, I was wrong. I have questions that didn't occur to me before. I need to hear that other people have lived through it. I need to hear that it gets better and it'll all be worth it in the end. Dammit, I think I might need to hold hands with someone and sing Kum Bah Ya!

What has happened to me?

Whatever it is, I'm going to put it out there to the universe and enjoy the ride. I'm willing. I know I'm able. I understand now that accepting help doesn't make me weak. It makes me smart. I should use the tools available to me to make this thing work. Otherwise, I should have just stayed home from the dance. And, beside the fact that it's too late to go home now, now that I'm here, I intend to dance.

So, here I go. I'll share this journey with you guys and learn how to do this thing right. I'll accept help, if you're willing to give it, and be grateful for the lessons along the way. I'll be honest no matter how hard it is for me to admit the mistakes I've made in my life that brought me to this place. I'll own what's mine and dedicate myself to righting those wrongs.

But I won't really sing Kum Bah Ya, I was kidding about that. Trust me, that's more for your benefit than mine. You don't want to hear that.

To the point: (finally!) I have been overweight my entire life. I've done the yo-yo diets, the fads, the pills, the programs. I've gone to extremes. Steadily, every year, my weight has increased. To the point that, now, at the tender, young age of 35, I am at my heaviest weight, 280 lbs. Well, I was at 280. I've already lost eight lbs since being banded last Wednesday. I can't believe I just typed that. That's a big step for me. I've never admitted my weight to anyone but my doctors before. Not even close family and friends. It's always been this way. I would lose the weight and gain it back. Plus some. Then I would justify. Deny. Make excuses. I'm sure this song has been sung before, so I won't belabor that point. It's been an uphill battle is all I'm saying. All uphill and very little coasting down on easy street in between. And I didn't help. I sabotaged myself over and over again. I was silly and naive.

I have PCOS, insulin resistance, plantar fasciitis, back pain, a history of blood clots, and a lousy self image. I have decided that now is the time to take back my life and ensure a long, healthy future with my two teenage boys. I want to watch them graduate. Get married. Give me grandbabies. I want to watch those grandbabies grow up. graduate. Get married. This is why I decided to get banded and now, five days into it, I'm not sorry I did. Though it's been painful and confusing, I'm still glad and I still believe this will work. My boyfriend is wonderfully supportive and helpful, but as he's never been through this and never had a weight problem, he's limited in what help he can provide. It's invaluable, important help, but it's just a different kind of help.

So, finally, this is where you come in. I've got some questions, as I said, and in asking them I'm hoping I'll find some peace with this thing.

#1 - I'm on a full liquid diet for a week and I'm wondering if I'll go mad before this week is out. I'm finding it hard to have an appetite for much of anything, but when I don't eat I feel pretty sick, light-headed and tired. Even the sight of chicken broth makes me retch. Has anyone else experienced this and found a suitable way to deal with it?

#2 - How long before this stomach pain stops? The port site is the worst. I'm having trouble bending over. It's a lot better than it was the day of and after surgery, but it's still painful. The nurses and, well, basically everyone I talked to prior to the surgery told me it would be sore for at most three days afterwards. Were they just forgetting because that's what the body does, it forgets difficult pain like this for self preservation, or did I misunderstand? Is five days a little long to still be in this much pain? I have a post-op appointment day after tomorrow and I'll discuss it with my surgeon, but I'm just wondering what the rest of you have experienced.

#3 - About when can I expect to have sex again? Forgive my bluntness, but my boyfriend and I, we have a healthy sex life and the way I feel right now, I can't ever imagine having sex again. If that's so then just pull the plug now. With that, I can't hang.

#4 - And exercise? About when did you guys start exercising with comfort? I like to work out and I'm anxious to get on the elliptical again. But again, that day seems so, so far away.

#5 - Anyone experience chronic headaches? I've had a headache a day now since the surgery. Perhaps that's due to a lack of proper nutrition? If so, that goes back to #1. What do I do about it if I can't bring myself to eat without yakking?

#6 - Speaking of yakking, that's my greatest fear right now. I've been feeling so nauseous it's amazing I haven't prayed to the porcelain god yet. Does that hurt like angry kittens doused in honey and fireants or what? The way my stomach feels right now, I'm worried that vomiting will just set me over the edge - painwise.

I think that's all for now, though I'm sure there will probably be more. Maybe I'm being impatient and I'm expecting too much too soon. I'd just like to get a bigger consensus on this thing so I'll know what I'm dealing with here.

Thanks for hanging with me this long, if you've made it here. Thanks for any help you can give and thanks for letting me get this all off my chest, if nothing else.

[MissWilde 0]

Hey Amisha,

Well count me out for the singing!

I was banded on the 12th June, we are about the same size I started out at 280 ish. I did a week pre op diet and lost about 12lbs on that. I have not weighed myself as yet mostly because I don't own any scales lol. I think recovery just goes to show how diffrent we all are. I had the surgery on the Thurs and went back to work on the Monday!

food wise my Dr is one of the less strict I was on a sloppy diet straight off stuff like yoghurt and Soup. I have not had a headache since the op but the pre op diet gave me a killer headache for the first couple of days! I have been taking a low dose of painkillers (ibuprofen) and that seems to do the job a treat. I have not really had a massive amount of pain at all I would say for me "uncomfortable" was more accurate, I am sorry to hear you are suffering :smile2:

As for the sex I could prob manage it now if I went on top, and there was no accidental knocking of my port site, unfortunatly I am short of the man to do it with!

Hope you feel better soon :smile:

KiKi XX

[Fanny Adams 7]

LOL! I like your style! :smile2: I know how you feel about not wanting to reach out for support - I LOATHE support groups and all that touchy-feely stuff, but like you, I've come to realise that I need this place to help me with questions and to relate to people who truly understand where I'm coming from in terms of weight issues. I'm sure you'll find it helpful too.

To answer your questions:

#1 - I'm on a full liquid diet for a week and I'm wondering if I'll go mad before this week is out. I'm finding it hard to have an appetite for much of anything, but when I don't eat I feel pretty sick, light-headed and tired. Even the sight of chicken broth makes me retch. Has anyone else experienced this and found a suitable way to deal with it?

You won't go mad but you might wish you did . Stick to it closely as this is the all-important healing phase and if you charge ahead of schedule, you can have complications later down the track even if it all "feels fine" at the time. Try to get some alternative liquids in. You say "full liquids", rather than "clears", but I'm not sure if that is just being unfamiliar with the terminology or if your doctor really has you on full liquids immediately after surgery. It is more common to see 4-7 days of clears first, then full liquids thereafter. In case you didn't know the difference, chicken stock or broth is a "clear", cream of chicken & corn Soup is a "full". There are some recipes listed in here that might help you stave off madness through boredom.

#2 - How long before this stomach pain stops? The port site is the worst. I'm having trouble bending over. It's a lot better than it was the day of and after surgery, but it's still painful. The nurses and, well, basically everyone I talked to prior to the surgery told me it would be sore for at most three days afterwards. Were they just forgetting because that's what the body does, it forgets difficult pain like this for self preservation, or did I misunderstand? Is five days a little long to still be in this much pain? I have a post-op appointment day after tomorrow and I'll discuss it with my surgeon, but I'm just wondering what the rest of you have experienced.

Everyone is different but I found day 4 to be about the most painful, with things gradually getting better after that. I would expect it to be sore (not painful), especially if you do anything that tugs on the stomach muscles, for at least 2 weeks.

#3 - About when can I expect to have sex again? Forgive my bluntness, but my boyfriend and I, we have a healthy sex life and the way I feel right now, I can't ever imagine having sex again. If that's so then just pull the plug now. With that, I can't hang.

Can't help you there, coz I'm currently without partner, so didn't get the chance to test it. At a guess, I think I would have been up for gentle stuff after about a week, more strenuous fun after 2 weeks and swinging from the ceilings by about 4 weeks post-op.

#4 - And exercise? About when did you guys start exercising with comfort? I like to work out and I'm anxious to get on the elliptical again. But again, that day seems so, so far away.

See my comments re sex above :smile:

#5 - Anyone experience chronic headaches? I've had a headache a day now since the surgery. Perhaps that's due to a lack of proper nutrition? If so, that goes back to #1. What do I do about it if I can't bring myself to eat without yakking?

Hmmm... could it be caffeine withdrawals? I didn't have headaches, but then again, my doctor didn't ban caffeine so I didn't have a withdrawal problem. If not that, dunno... maybe others have had the same?

#6 - Speaking of yakking, that's my greatest fear right now. I've been feeling so nauseous it's amazing I haven't prayed to the porcelain god yet. Does that hurt like angry kittens doused in honey and fireants or what? The way my stomach feels right now, I'm worried that vomiting will just set me over the edge - painwise.

Yakking SHOULD be your greatest fear. The absolute last thing you want to do right now is upchuck - it can really damage the healing process. My doc was so adamant that I DO NOT allow myself to yak in those first fiew weeks that he gave me two types of medicine to deal with it. One was a general anti-nausea pill to be taken 4 times a day, the other was a wafer to be put under my tongue in emergencies if I felt the yak was "coming ready or not". I was lucky and didn't need the second at all, and stopped taking the first after 2-3 days as I wasn't nauseous. If you are feeling really nauseous and haven't got medication to deal with it, call your doctor and see what he can do for you.

Good luck on your journey!

[Amisha 2]

Oh thanks, Ladies. I was so afraid I was going to scare everybody off with that long diatribe.

MissWilde, this is awesome. I hope you keep posting here because it will be great to go through this with someone who is on the same timeline as I.

Fanny, thanks for the great info. I meant Clear Liquids, not full, you're right. And I guess it is more sore than actually painful. It has improved a great deal and it's certainly manageable. I think perhaps I had high (and unrealistic) expectations of going into surgery on Wednesday and being pain free and 96 lbs lighter by Friday. If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for, right?

And I think you're right about the caffeine. I didn't think about that. I was a pretty heavy tea drinker prior to surgery as well as a fairly regular soda drinker. I quit drinking the week prior to surgery because I was really trying to lose 10 lbs pre-op. So it's been a good while since I've had any caffeine. I wonder how long that goes on and if I can get a workaround?

[TDRinCHATT 1]

I had a reoccurrance of Migraine headaches after being banded. I hadn't had one in prob 10 years, so it took me by surprise. My sister and I decided that a lot of the miserable things I experienced post-op had to do with my body adjusting to the changes (food, calories, etc) and my body doing a little detoxing (cleaning house so to speak). I've been on detox diets before and they make you pretty miserable. A clear liquid diet x7 days is definitely a detox.

I felt so miserable on clears that I snuck in some carnation instant Breakfast by day 4 and it helped me get through it.

As far as sex goes, I finally did it at 2 weeks and had no issues. But 2 weeks was the point for me that everything began to feel more "normal." My port pain stopped, incision pain stopped, etc.

Good luck to ya!

[Northwest_Nance 0]

I can't add much to the advice the previous posters have already given you, I just wanted to jump in and say what a great post this is! It's great that you've realized support can be a good thing, and you're reaching out for it.... welcome to the club!

One thing you said really struck home with me.... the fact that you admitted your weight here, and how liberating that is. Since my surgery I have told two friends what I weighed when I started, and what I weigh now. I have NEVER told anyone my weight! At least, not when it was above 150 lbs. And it IS liberating. For the first time in my life I don't feel like I'm hiding or being ashamed. Along those same lines, I also chose to talk to all my co-workers (we are a small group that is like family) as well as all of my family, about my surgery. I know lots of people choose not to share the information and I understand why, but this is the option that worked for me. It felt so wonderful to finally be talking about the elephant in the room (no pun intended).

This has been a good journey so far and as with so many things in life.... it's going to be as good as we want it to be. Good luck to you!

*hums "Kum BA Yah"*.....

[HeatherO 7]

Great post! The first section would make a great article :0).

#1 - Isopure Protein drinks helped me to feel better right away. It was hard to drink them, they taste a little different, but the extra Protein made me feel human again.

#2 - The worst of your discomfort should be finished and it will get continuously better from here.

#3 - I waited maybe 1.5 weeks. By 2 weeks out it was fairly regular again.

#4 - I started exercising again at 4 weeks out . . . but it was really hard. I was actively exercising before banding, and I usually do a vigorous, intense workout daily. The first few times at the gym in my step class after banding were really hard. I was so tired and I had to go very easy which is very unusual for me. It was like I didnt have any endurance at all. 2 weeks later and I was like normal again.

#5 - Headaches were bad. Part of it was the caffeine. Once I started upping the protein and staying away from carbs it really helped. One thing to note, Tylenol never helped my headachess. I think I must be immune to the Tylenol version of pain relief . . . it did nothing for me.

#6 - I was nauseous also . . . terribly so even though I never vomited. The crazy thing was that Water was making me nauseous and I had to drink a ton of it. There is nothing worse than feeling you have to vomit and being deathly afraid of doing so. I went to Walmart and found a product called Nausene chewables. You can chew them until they are liquified and they work almost instantly. They were like a lifesaver for me. On a side note, I never finished the box . . . after I started taking them when needed, my nausea got to be less and less until it dissappeared. I also found that I did not feel as sick if I did not drink very cold liquids.

Thanks for sharing your post. I did not think I needed much support either but this website is a little addicting. :0)

[Amisha 2]

What a difference a day makes! It's probably partly just another day under my belt. More healing. More progress. But I also think posting here last night helped me to shift focus from the negative Nellie, poor me attitude to a more positive, motivated one.

I woke up with a little less pain in my abdomen and a little less nauseous, although I'm still a little afraid to eat (drink) much. Thanks so much for the encouragement and great info!

TDR: I think you're right. I've never gone through any kind of detox so I've never experienced any of this, though I'm sure my body has been begging for it over the years and I've just shut it out. This major overhaul is probably sending things into a tailspin of confusion. But it's good. I'll embrace it. Two weeks is okay for me. I can wait until two weeks after for sex. If it's any longer than that though, I'm afraid I might climb on the roof of a 7-11 and start taking people out with an AR-15. I needs my man!

NW Nance: It was very liberating! I've hid my weight my whole life, as if people couldn't just see it, without me telling them. The mind is a wonky thing, isn't it? As long as we don't say it out loud, it's not happening. I always thought saying it would destroy me and I would run and hide in shame, but it turns out that once I typed it and put it out there, I actually felt as if 100 of those lbs melted away. I think discussing it here will help me get it out there with my family, friends and boyfriend as well. And might I add? You have a lovely humming voice!

Heather: I have the same problem with Tylenol! It's like taking a placebo to me. I can't take ibuprofen because I have a terrible time with stomach ulcers and I'm not that much of a masochist. My surgeon gave me Lortab, which is basically just liquid vicodin and acetaminophen but it did nothing for me. It made my headache worse! It was like adding a hangover to the already existing pain. I gave up on it after the first day. I'll give the Isopure a shot and hope the boost of Protein will help. I'm also going right out after this for that Nausene you mentioned. Thanks so much for the tips!

Couple more questions, if you don't mind me making a pest of myself:

When you did get back into exercising, did the abdominal pain come back or worsen? Or was it more just like the regular aches and pains/exhaustion that comes with getting back into the habit?

Were you all told no caffeine at all? My doc told me no more soda, ever, but she didn't say I couldn't have tea. My impression was that the carbonation was the culprit, not the caffeine. Am I correct in that? I think maybe besides upping the Protein, if I have some tea it might help these headaches. I'm just concerned there's another reason for avoiding caffeine and I'll be setting myself up for more misery.

Thanks again for all the wonderful support and answers! I'm feeling so much more encouraged about all this now.

[HeatherO 7]

Doing abdominals such as situps with exercise did cause me to have some port soreness. However, it went away over time. I dont feel this soreness anymore but it may be because I worked through it and continued with abdominal exercises anyway.

Some doctors say absolutely no caffeine. Mine says coffee is a free food that I can have as long as I am not adding a lot of additional sugar. So I think it varies. However, I personally feel that reasonable consumption of occasional caffeine is OK.

[Chellets 0]

I don't really have anything to add, as I have not been banded yet, but just had to say how much I enjoyed reading your post! I'm happy that you are feeling better and I am really looking forward to reading more from you. Your humor, that I hope was intentional- I'd feel really bad for giggling at your pain- is great! Keep it up and I'm sure you will be feeling like new in no time! Thanks again for the best post I've read in awhile! Good Luck!!!

[FeliciaLevy75 0]

Amisha, welcome! Love your intro.

I started exercising about 2 weeks after surgery. In addition to walking every day, I started doing some very light exercise with a balance ball, but only if I didn't feel I was straining in any way. The point for me was to just move. My doc cleared me for elliptical almost right away - based on my comfort level - because of the low, low impact. As my pain decreased, I increased everything a little. I still won't do anything that requires me to lay on my abdomen, and ab exercises are done only with great care. Heal first, firm up a bit later... so says the doc.

The caffeine thing is up in the air. I have gone Decaf when I order coffee or coffee-based drinks, but I haven't been militant about it with my tea. Caffeine makes you hungry, which is why it is usually off the list. I rarely have it, but when I do, I stick to green tea (better for you) when I can, but I don't freak out if it's not decaf.

Carbonation is evil. Cold compressed gases in a heated, closed environment (a la stomach pouches) = expansion and stretching.

Hopes this helps. Again, welcome!

[do_i_remember 0]

I loved your post. I totally agreed with you prior to my banding. I did this to myself and I needed to get the pounds off myself! What a reality check, when you're in pain and hungry it really does help to have someone in your corner rooting for you. At least they didn't sing! I was banded on June 8 so we're going through alot at the same time. I have found this website to be more informative than the doctors. I haven't suffered with nausea yet and have tried to spice up my mushies. I love spicy food and was terrified I wouldn't be able to have it. I hope you stop hurting soon.

[Amisha 2]

Thanks guys! I had a good today and I'm feeling so much better about all this. I love to write and I'm glad you enjoyed my first post. I was really nervous posting it because I thought it was mighty presumptuous of me to write a post as long as a book, expect strangers to read it and on top of that, offer me support, answers and encouragement.

But you came through. Thanks so much for the tips and advice. I am visiting my doctor tomorrow for my post-op and I feel much better going in now. I was dreading going in there to dump all this on her like a sissified baby.

Uh...should we, uh, you know, hold han-- okay, okay. That's too much! You're right. Forget I said that.

[MicheleK 8]

I don't have much to offer either as I haven't been banded yet (getting ready to submit for approval....3 month diet stuff). Anyway, I just wanted to stop in and lend my support and compliment you on your intro post. It's nice to read so much honesty mixed with humor. :confused_smile:

I don't sing either (believe me, you don't want me to) but I will offer some hand-holding and a shoulder to cry on.

I'll be thinking of you in the coming days, and I hope you feel better.

Take care! :drool: